The grumpy thread

[paulplom]

In a way I hope they've dented or scratched it. It'll give me a proper reason to chin her bloke. 

[sdkrc]

To the frumpy woman who looked like she was smuggling sausages in her leggings when it was windy the other day, when your brolly breaks in the wind don't just fucking lump it on the floor and walk off you fat cow. 

Same to the lazy junkie throwing his litter next to the bin.

'People make Glasgow'...do they fuck, they ruin it. 

[New POD]

49 minutes ago, paulplom said:

Bin gate continues. Council were working next door so had a few vans in the street. I had to park next to that insane woman's flat again. I let the dog out last night and she's put her bin out. It looks like its up against my van passenger door. It could almost be touching. Again I'm usually very jolly, calm and collected but this has made me very angry indeed.

What should I do?

1, Calmly pull the bin away.

2, Hammer throw it into the middle of the green.

3, Launch it through her sitting room window.

4 Put it in the van and dispose of it.

5, All of the above?

 

I'd like some advice please.

The wrap the bin closed. The wrap the bin to her gate. 

Or paint a number 666 on it.  

[paulplom]

I was thinking of spraying a cock and balls on it but I thought that would be too childish.

[Floatylight]

Puncture a can of expanding foam and Chuck it in?

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

[paulplom]

She has cctv up to protect her nissan puke. I'll have to be careful unless I really flip.
I've never noticed a camera so he might be talking shit.

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk

[paulplom]

I think she must have had issues before if she feels the need to protect a puke against malicious damage in a quiet cul de sac.

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk

[Cavcraft]

Every now and then you have to flip with neighbours like that, or they'll keep on doing it. Push the bin into her garden, kick the fucker over and then start screaming threats and abuse. CCTV or no CCTV, they'll get the point. It worked twice for me, one bloke moved and another is now the nicest neighbour in the world.

 

 

 

(If it goes to court though, print this entire thread off as 'evidence' and tell them the voices in Hairnet's head made you do it.) 

[Kiltox]

1 hour ago, Floatylight said:

Puncture a can of expanding foam and Chuck it in?

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk
 

This. Or just empty a can of foam into the bin

[face]

I would Dulux ‘PISS CUNT’ on each quadrant.

[SiC]

Given you're not supposed to leave bins out, let alone block the road with them (or cones, etc), I'd report the bin to the council and tell them it's abandoned?

Other option would be to dump a torn bag of postmix in it and leave all this wet weather to do its work. 

[SiC]

Or take it to the local tip and hand the bin into the local authorities?

"Found it blown over and blocking the middle of a busy road mister"

[DeeJay]

Have a shit on the handle (bonus points if she sees you).

[barefoot]

Plus eleventy on 'report it to the council as an abandoned bin, blocking the road'.

[hairnet]

Muthafuka

[iainrcz]

Bin gate continues. Council were working next door so had a few vans in the street. I had to park next to that insane woman's flat again. I let the dog out last night and she's put her bin out. It looks like its up against my van passenger door. It could almost be touching. Again I'm usually very jolly, calm and collected but this has made me very angry indeed.
What should I do?
1, Calmly pull the bin away.
2, Hammer throw it into the middle of the green.
3, Launch it through her sitting room window.
4 Put it in the van and dispose of it.
5, All of the above?
 
I'd like some advice please.

Crimp a length off on the lid.

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[wuvvum]

1 hour ago, hairnet said:

Muthafuka

Indeed.  I hate it when I lose a wheel trim. 

[Timewaster]

10 hours ago, paulplom said:

What should I do?

1, Calmly pull the bin away.

2, Hammer throw it into the middle of the green.

3, Launch it through her sitting room window.

4 Put it in the van and dispose of it.

5, All of the above?

 

I'd like some advice please.

Stickaflex the lid down? 

[rusty_vw_man]

10 hours ago, paulplom said:

Bin gate continues. Council were working next door so had a few vans in the street. I had to park next to that insane woman's flat again. I let the dog out last night and she's put her bin out. It looks like its up against my van passenger door. It could almost be touching. Again I'm usually very jolly, calm and collected but this has made me very angry indeed.

What should I do?

1, Calmly pull the bin away.

2, Hammer throw it into the middle of the green.

3, Launch it through her sitting room window.

4 Put it in the van and dispose of it.

5, All of the above?

 

I'd like some advice please.

Just make a sign that says ‘please park here as I don’t actually own this road’ and glue it to the bin with something extra sticky. 
Worked well on one of our old neighbours. 

[hairnet]

1 hour ago, wuvvum said:

Indeed.  I hate it when I lose a wheel trim. 

dave you need glasses.................

[rmt87]

Turbo actuator vacuum line snapped on my c5 resulting in no turbo.Temp repair with a  pen and some heat shrink i had in the shed. 

[wuvvum]

2 hours ago, hairnet said:

dave you need glasses.................

[hairnet]

50 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

'looook into my eyes - you are feeeeeling sleeeeepy.........................'

[The Moog]

'looook into my eyes - you are feeeeeling cakeeeyyyyy.........................'

Efa

[strangeangel]

Stick it in the van, take it for a ride to the sticks and dump it. Then call the local council and cash her in for fly tipping, handily giving them a description and the reg number of her Juke.

[face]

Highly adhesive stickers showing house number, plus some huge swastikas.

[somewhatfoolish]

6 hours ago, face said:

Highly adhesive stickers showing house number, plus some huge swastikas.

Make up a fake invoice (for naked housekeeping or something) and put in the bin; councils love playing sherlock with that shit.

[Aston Martin]

Delivering to a bread factory. Always fucking disgusting with rats and yeast thrown about.

 

Today it was like an ice rink, I fell over landed on my arm and my foot went into an open sewer.

 

"I'll tell hygiene"

 

Thanks....

[Tenmil Socket]

On 12/12/2019 at 7:07 AM, paulplom said:

Bin gate continues. Council were working next door so had a few vans in the street. I had to park next to that insane woman's flat again. I let the dog out last night and she's put her bin out. It looks like its up against my van passenger door. It could almost be touching. Again I'm usually very jolly, calm and collected but this has made me very angry indeed.

What should I do?

1, Calmly pull the bin away.

2, Hammer throw it into the middle of the green.

3, Launch it through her sitting room window.

4 Put it in the van and dispose of it.

5, All of the above?

 

I'd like some advice please.

Has anyone suggested taking the wheels off?

[Datsuncog]

Frantic texts from a chum of MrsDC's this morning, as the Bini diesel she bought in July (four years old, bought from a dealer, fully serviced at point of purchase) is now "making a clicking noise" from the engine.

Is there oil showing on the dipstick?

"No."

Is the oil warning light on?

"Yes, it's been on for a week - I've been meaning to put more in, but it's not like a week overdue should make a difference, should it?"

Um... on a 50 mile daily commute, then yes it would.

"Well that's just silly."

There's no easy way to tell someone they've terminally fucked their car (bought on credit, natch) is there?