The grumpy thread

[loserone]

50 minutes ago, vulgalour said:

Mrs Spankedface is too important in her Peugeot Floppytop 

That's not a nice name for @TheDoctor

[Cheggers]

Our new dog keeps on barking at common people.
 
 
Turns out we've bought a Jarvis Cocker Spaniel.

A friend of mine has two Cocker Spaniels called Joe & Jarvis...True but ultimately dull fact

[Tadhg Tiogar]

16 hours ago, Cavcraft said:

Our new dog keeps on barking at common people.

 

 

Turns out we've bought a Jarvis Cocker Spaniel.

This is all a bit of a Blur.

[iainrcz]

Well having spent a few hours sorting my IP camera out yesterday (the Wifi antennae had rotted through so It's now on ethernet)  I've decided it's not high enough.

It's actually the same height up the wall as previously, around 9 foot. What I hadn't factored in was it was on the corner of the house before. So was technically further away from the area being viewed.

 

So I've got to move it up, probably about a foot. Shit bags.

 

And yes, I had made numerous viewings of the feed whilst I installed it. Obviously at that point I was happy!

[Mally]

3 hours ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

This is (or was) pretty much standard practice for restaurants before the debit/credit card revolution. I used to hear stories of Chinese restaurants and takeaways (to say nothing of other establishments) frequently adjusting the books. Very occasionally one or two would get caught by the Revenue, especially after covert observation of the owner's lifestyle compared with the income declared, leading to a prosecution and very heavy penalties.

Many chip shops still pay by cash when buying in. For sundries at least, so I'm told.

Must be common knowledge, their trucks have been robbed a time or two.

My dad worked in t'mill.

Nowt dodgy with his income, except it wasn't enough for what he did.

[HillmanImp]

28 minutes ago, Mally said:

Many chip shops still pay by cash when buying in. For sundries at least, so I'm told.

Must be common knowledge, their trucks have been robbed a time or two.

My dad worked in t'mill.

Nowt dodgy with his income, except it wasn't enough for what he did.

When i used to work at the tax office I used to enjoy it when they were investigating chippies and such as they'd buy chips for everyone over a few days, they just weighed them before we ate them to see if the amount of chips in an average portion tied up with their books etc. 

[beko1987]

5 hours ago, Jerzy Woking said:

The thing is, obtaining cash is easy (illegally at least) to attain and hide from the taxman. But getting rid of it is a different ball game. If someone gave you £40k in cold hard cash, how would you spend it? There are only so many pairs of trainers or polo shirts you can buy.

Petrol, weekly shop, drugs, charity shops, car boots, broken hoovers, buy car parts from ECP and pay in cash, the pub ... I could make it work very well for me, dripped away over the years

[twosmoke300]

Meals out , petrol ( spread over a few vehicles and chop n change regularly) drink etc .,Most other stuff is traceable 
 

Apparantly ?

[Mally]

6 hours ago, Jerzy Woking said:

The thing is, obtaining cash is easy (illegally at least) to attain and hide from the taxman. But getting rid of it is a different ball game. If someone gave you £40k in cold hard cash, how would you spend it? There are only so many pairs of trainers or polo shirts you can buy.

You buy a small loss making business and turn* it into a profit making business.

Be careful though. Money Laundering is also illegal.

[LightBulbFun]

6 hours ago, Jerzy Woking said:

If someone gave you £40k in cold hard cash, how would you spend it? There are only so many pairs of trainers or polo shirts you can buy.

come on, this is autoshite! how do you think @Six-cylinder and @Mrs6C have the impressive fleet that they have? 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

14 minutes ago, Mally said:

You buy a small loss making business and turn* it into a profit making business.

Be careful though. Money Laundering is also illegal.

Or, to put it in Citroën terms, to make a small fortune on a CX, start with a large one.

[LightBulbFun]

it does remind me when I was drawing cash from the cash machine to pay for REV, I was a bit worried if the bank would get suspicious, as I can only imagine how they would of reacted if I got asked and I (truthly!) told them "to buy an invacar!"

[Cavcraft]

6 hours ago, Cheggers said:

22 hours ago, Cavcraft said:

Our new dog keeps on barking at common people.
 
 
Turns out we've bought a Jarvis Cocker Spaniel.

A friend of mine has two Cocker Spaniels called Joe & Jarvis...True but ultimately dull fact

Was only kidding about our dog, he's actually a border collie.

 

 

He gives us £20 per week.

[HillmanImp]

27 minutes ago, Cavcraft said:

Was only kidding about our dog, he's actually a border collie.

 

 

He gives us £20 per week.

I took my dog to the vet the other day as I thought he had a sore throat. Turns out he's just a little husky.

[Cavcraft]

Stupid questions (already answered on advert), which I ignored, followed by

 

'240 for car come tonight 50 miles tonight'

 

That's a big fat no

 

'Please take 240'

 

No

 

'Come right now manchester'

 

Still no

 

'240'

 

No

 

'220'

 

Is this some sort of reverse bargaining style?

 

'Is all I have'

 

If I said no to £240, why would I say yes to £220?

 

'That's all I have'

 

You said £240

 

'no I say I have 240 give you 220'

 

No now, no tomorrow, no forever

 

'ok'

 

 

[captain_70s]

I wonder if it's possible to pinpoint exactly when the average IQ of a British citizen dropped to a single digit number.

[HillmanImp]

4 minutes ago, captain_70s said:

I wonder if it's possible to pinpoint exactly when the average IQ of a British citizen dropped to a single digit number.

The national IQ recovered sharply in 2009, whats gone wrong since?

[SiC]

7 minutes ago, captain_70s said:

I wonder if it's possible to pinpoint exactly when the average IQ of a British citizen dropped to a single digit number.

Who says they are British? There is only one explanation for this...

They must be illegal aliens

[Cavcraft]

1 hour ago, HillmanImp said:

The national IQ recovered sharply in 2009, whats gone wrong since?

 

Completely agree, though sadly that fucking turbo moron just spawned countless more. Ryman/TOWIE/that braying gobshite woman off ITV daytime (doesn't really narrow it down, though)/etc.

[andy18s]

1 hour ago, Cavcraft said:

Stupid questions (already answered on advert), which I ignored, followed by

 

'240 for car come tonight 50 miles tonight'

 

That's a big fat no

 

'Please take 240'

 

No

 

'Come right now manchester'

 

Still no

 

'240'

 

No

 

'220'

 

Is this some sort of reverse bargaining style?

 

'Is all I have'

 

If I said no to £240, why would I say yes to £220?

 

'That's all I have'

 

You said £240

 

'no I say I have 240 give you 220'

 

No now, no tomorrow, no forever

 

'ok'

 

 

So by his logic,he's  picking it up tomorrow?

[taxi paul]

2 hours ago, Mally said:

You buy a small loss making business and turn* it into a profit making business.

Be careful though. Money Laundering is also illegal.

Noticed a few " meal prep " places opening lately.  A few have newish landrovers and other large 4x4 type vehicles favoured by the recreational drug purveyors.  

[MikeR]

I want to scream and cry .

i want to be hugged and held 

I want to be ok 

I am scared for next Tuesday news .

But i have to be strong for eveyone as they are for me .

Christ its fucking hard not knowing .

[taxi paul]

A lot less than you but. When I had my colonoscopy.  They removed a polyp. So sent away for tests for cancer cells, " standard practice, nothing to be concerned about.  Unless it's cancer " . You dont say really. Anyway cue a couple of weeks later and gets a call to tell me the results. " would you like the results now mr nulty?". Well yes . "Ok ". Then silence for a minute, thought I was on the jungle or someother shite tv contestant thing. "Results are all clear sir. See you in five years ". Wasnt worried about the result. But when they rang me I did have my doubts. So good luck sir for next week. 

[New POD]

1 hour ago, MikeR said:

I want to scream and cry .

i want to be hugged and held 

I want to be ok 

I am scared for next Tuesday news .

But i have to be strong for eveyone as they are for me .

Christ its fucking hard not knowing .

I've got you an extra Christmas present from.the charity shop. Do you want it early ? 

[iainrcz]

I've been at my job since 2005.
I'm what's classed as the number 2 on my shift.
I know the machines, do production paperwork cover the shift when our team leader is off.

So when I'm not tied to a machine I get to float about.

So I get loads of crap off the other operators for getting "easy shifts" all the time.

Pisses me right off.
Some of them I was working here while they were still in school shorts.


Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[Mally]

You're lucky.

I always found the ones just out of school shorts were my boss.

[MikeR]

years ago , when soldering things together was an art , one chap had to come in extra extra early every day and switch on the solder baths .......

the rest of the day was spent parked on his arse reading the paper and doing odd jobs ..

until the new boss in school shorts came around and saw him ...reading the paper

and sacked him

the next day no production took place ..

he got his job back

 

[taxi paul]

Grumpy because my kids have been off school the last three days. Unwell with cough and cold also occasional throwing up. So no real sleep through the night cos they wake up. They seem to be over the worse now thankfully and normal service should be resumed for school on monday. Except that in the last hour I feel ill and started sneezing. So looks like it's my turn. Great. 

[Cavcraft]

Hard to know what you're moaning about, tbh.

 

I've got piles and piles of ironing to do. It's hard to know which is worst.

[xtriple]

Well I am having a really bad time ad expect sumpathy in abundance.

My jeans have holes in the knees (mainly 'cos I keep falling over) and so I have had to buy new jeans. I could have gone in a shop, but I bought fro the internet instead. Do I need to say they don't fit? They are massive around my waist and tight around my upper legs. Ho hum... Still, I will wear them until such times as they learn their lesson and do fit, Jeans are for life, not just for Christmas.