The grumpy thread

[mercrocker]

'Twas ever thus.

 

A 56 plate car is verging on being scrap. 12 or 13 years old, rusty brake pipes, rusty underneath, everything just about to fail and just one big bill away from being bridge fodder. 

 

Cars are our servants not the other way around. Fuck 'em off when a big is approaching.

 

Yes and no. 

 

190E is in for a misfire.  I suspected dizzy cap but was reminded it had one 2 years ago.  Yeah, OK but it will be that.  It was.  

 

Just does it, every two years.  Regardless of whether its Indian Merc OE, Brazilian Merc OE, Bosch or a GSF wrong'un.   They just give up after 2 years. 

 

Not a biggie but I asked them to have a gander underneath as the MOT is due after Shhhmas.... 

Broken rear coil spring, fucked ARB bushes, marginal rear exhaust box, cracked headlight (ain't holed, its staying...) ya da ya da. 

 

The only change I will get out of a grand is getting me some chips on the way home.  

 

Car is worth about that plus a ham sandwich.    Should fuck it off, right?    Mebbes... 

 

 

Only have two other options - buy another 190E (its Mrs Rocker's favourite car of a 50 year driving career of admittedly shite stuff)  I like it too.

OK - then we spend at least a grand buying it and sure as eggs are fried it will need coil springs, dizzy cap, ARB bushes and more than likely the top end rebuild that mine had last summer.  

 

Buy another car.  One that is as simple as the Merc, rides nicely, parks nicely for Mrs R.  makes me not throw up when I look at it and cry when I realise its mine.... 

 

You see where I am going?   I had feeble thoughts about a C Class, a Jeep Cherokee, a Toyota Avensis, a Saaaaab.   None of these seem worth buying for less than 2K and I am already over the budget for the Merc repairs.    

 

Downside is, I had about a grand earmarked to upgrade my Winter Fezzer to something lusher.   Guess I better get that fucking cambelt done now, then....

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Yes and no. 

 

190E is in for a misfire.  I suspected dizzy cap but was reminded it had one 2 years ago.  Yeah, OK but it will be that.  It was.  

 

Just does it, every two years.  Regardless of whether its Indian Merc OE, Brazilian Merc OE, Bosch or a GSF wrong'un.   They just give up after 2 years. 

 

 

 

 

Then it has an underlying fault. Distributor caps last years and somewhere you will find a Merc from 1990 with the original cap. I replaced the Bosch cap (Motronic) on my 730i ten years and about 80'000 miles ago, still good.

 

Tbh, the 125 quid a month brand new Dacia Duster is looking like an increasingly good idea.

[BorniteIdentity]

Yes and no.

 

190E is in for a misfire. I suspected dizzy cap but was reminded it had one 2 years ago. Yeah, OK but it will be that. It was.

 

Just does it, every two years. Regardless of whether its Indian Merc OE, Brazilian Merc OE, Bosch or a GSF wrong'un. They just give up after 2 years.

 

Not a biggie but I asked them to have a gander underneath as the MOT is due after Shhhmas....

Broken rear coil spring, fucked ARB bushes, marginal rear exhaust box, cracked headlight (ain't holed, its staying...) ya da ya da.

 

The only change I will get out of a grand is getting me some chips on the way home.

 

Car is worth about that plus a ham sandwich. Should fuck it off, right? Mebbes...

 

 

Only have two other options - buy another 190E (its Mrs Rocker's favourite car of a 50 year driving career of admittedly shite stuff) I like it too.

OK - then we spend at least a grand buying it and sure as eggs are fried it will need coil springs, dizzy cap, ARB bushes and more than likely the top end rebuild that mine had last summer.

 

Buy another car. One that is as simple as the Merc, rides nicely, parks nicely for Mrs R. makes me not throw up when I look at it and cry when I realise its mine....

 

You see where I am going? I had feeble thoughts about a C Class, a Jeep Cherokee, a Toyota Avensis, a Saaaaab. None of these seem worth buying for less than 2K and I am already over the budget for the Merc repairs.

 

Downside is, I had about a grand earmarked to upgrade my Winter Fezzer to something lusher. Guess I better get that fucking cambelt done now, then....

Ultimately, cars cost a fixed price (by and large) each year. Once you accept that fact, you then have a choice of renting a car at £150 pcm (£1,800 a year) - buying a car in another price bracket (depreciation equalling about £1500 a year) or gambling in the bangernomics market. Here you might not lose actual cash, but you will almost certainly lose time shopping once or twice a year and lose chosing exactly what car you’re piloting.

 

Spunk a grand on your 190e and I’d be amazed if we’re having the same conversation this time next year. A decent one is very hard to find for less than a thousand pounds so, if that is the marque and model the good lady desires, I’d stick not twist. I personally value knowing where I am with a car with regards to maintenance etc blah.

 

One other thing. Beru ignition parts. People always go for Bosch - but you will likely have less drama with Beru.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Old cars are like old people.

 

They leak and they smell, with decreasing reliability.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

The basic one is £79 a month. Seventy nine pounds a fucking month for a new warranted car made in a modern factory.

 

This looks okay for £109. You could probably wangle it down to a grand deposit and another 30 quid a month...?

 

Even so:  Drive it, clean it, get it serviced. 

 

 

 

 

 

[drum]

'Twas ever thus.

 

A 56 plate car is verging on being scrap. 12 or 13 years old, rusty brake pipes, rusty underneath, everything just about to fail and just one big bill away from being bridge fodder. 

 

Cars are our servants not the other way around. Fuck 'em off when a big is approaching.

If I'd known what was coming I would have sent it to the mercies of the auction house.

 

The bills sneaked up on me. First wheel bearings, then brake discs, four tyres, then the mot and while driving there the alternator died, and while fixing that they noticed the water pump leaking......now the turbo and I haven't Iain the last bill yet.

 

Bangernomics works best if you have the time and skills to fix things yourself. I have a go at most things but took the easy option this time.

 

It has:

New timing belt and water pump

Recent clutch and DMF

New wheel bearings

New discs and pads all round

New brake pipes

New alternator

New tyres

 

eBay have turbos for £200. What else will it cost apart from time and skinned knuckles? Genuine question, I've never changed a turbo before.

[Lacquer Peel]

What's wrong with the turbo? Is the turbo knackered or is it a false flag symptom of a deeper problem?

[DodgeRover]

Given what you've spent I would put a turbo on it if you are sure it's actually failed.

I never the cost of consider service items as you would need them anyway no matter what you run.

[Hertz]

Bought a replacement alloy off eBay for one on the avensis that has pothole damage

 

Received this piece of shit, did they honestly think I'd fit that to my car, fucking Muppets, return postage is going to be expensive for them as I used the label provided by eBay and it must weigh 10 kilos

 

Jesus that inside rim looks like a 50 pence piece!

[drum]

What's wrong with the turbo? Is the turbo knackered or is it a false flag symptom of a deeper problem?

 

 

I don't know for sure but it's lost all power, making a hair dryer noise above 2000rpm and making lots of smoke.

 

 

Given what you've spent I would put a turbo on it if you are sure it's actually failed.

I never the cost of consider service items as you would need them anyway no matter what you run.

I agree, but they're all brand new.

[SiC]

The basic one is £79 a month. Seventy nine pounds a fucking month for a new warranted car made in a modern factory.

 

This looks okay for £109. You could probably wangle it down to a grand deposit and another 30 quid a month...?

 

Even so: Drive it, clean it, get it serviced.

 

Screen Shot 2018-11-27 at 18.34.51.png

Few half decent PCH deals about too.

https://www.leasehub.co.uk/content/what-a-deal-skoda-octavia/

Basically £145 p/m amortalised over 24 months. More than the Dacia and no offer to buy it outright, but far less grim. (Sorry to modern Dacia fans, it's the truth!)

 

Seems a lot of money per month but that's new brakes/tyres/warranty. So no real other expenses. 24 month period, so probably no service needed either. I reckon I spend far more than that a month on my modern stuff and they're not even needy at the moment.

 

Pretty sure it's what I'll do if one of my moderns shit themselves. Especially if I move out of the city and have less risk of dentage.

[somewhatfoolish]

I don't know for sure but it's lost all power, making a hair dryer noise above 2000rpm and making lots of smoke.

 

That sounds not unlike a burst turbot hose; check simple before reaching for the chequebook/razorblade.

[Zelandeth]

Have been around rats now for a little over twelve years.

 

This evening managed to get the first nasty bite ever. Have had a few "excuse me, that's my finger not food, thank you very much..." nips, and one we had used to "explore with his teeth" but never actually been bitten before.

 

Had a cracker this evening though. Proper "oh look, I'm leaving a trail of blood running up my arm and dripping on the floor while on the way to the sink to clean this up..." job.

 

That little bugger is getting increasingly aggressive. He's been bullying is brothers too, can see him getting put into a separate cage at this rate.

 

Bloody welding gloves going on if I need to separate them again though...

[Tadhg Tiogar]

The CX stripdown continues, and the workshop has finally managed to extract the engine and gearbox. They also had a slight* problem with the bearing in the middle of this photo:

 

 

Apparently seized solid, they reported, and now - having managed to extract it - they're worried about the availability of a replacement....

 

What else could possibly go wrong? 

 

^^ Wankers

 

Scammers, surely?

[DodgeRover]

There will be a number on the bearing replacement should be simple

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

That sounds not unlike a burst turbot hose; check simple before reaching for the chequebook/razorblade.

No boost, black smoke and whooooosh noise is a major boost leak, hose or inter cooler split. Blue smoke - turboe is fucked. Also fit new intercooler as it’s full of oil and shit, plus remove and wash out downpipe/cat.

[BorniteIdentity]

Few half decent PCH deals about too.

https://www.leasehub.co.uk/content/what-a-deal-skoda-octavia/

Basically £145 p/m amortalised over 24 months. More than the Dacia and no offer to buy it outright, but far less grim. (Sorry to modern Dacia fans, it's the truth!)

 

 

 

Hang on a mo.  We seem to have skipped from spending a grand on an 'appreciating classic' (yes, i'm also twitching) with easy access to spares that's liked by the owner....

 

...to finding a £2,500 deposit for something advertised with floral bluster like

 

 

 the ŠKODA OCTAVIA is the ultimate car for people who demand more. So whether you’re heading for a great day out at the beach or whizzing across town to meet friends, the OCTAVIA is all about comfort with modern flair.

 

Am i trapped in some kind of dystopian parallel universe?!!

[drum]

Here's a quick vid I grabbed this morning before heading to work.

 

Sounds more like a bearing noise this morning. Very limited throttle response.

 

[somewhatfoolish]

d, they reported, and now - having managed to extract it - they're worried about the availability of a replacement....

 

'Because French' aside, France is patriotically metric so...

 

There will be a number on the bearing replacement should be simple

It certainly looks like a bog standard bearing in the pic, no funny bits like being low profile or having flanges(fnarr).

[Sir Snipes]

Hang on a mo. We seem to have skipped from spending a grand on an 'appreciating classic' (yes, i'm also twitching) with easy access to spares that's liked by the owner....

 

...to finding a £2,500 deposit for something advertised with floral bluster like

 

 

 

Am i trapped in some kind of dystopian parallel universe?!!

Yes. Welcome to hell. Oh boy....

[Guest Hooli]

The basic one is £79 a month. Seventy nine pounds a fucking month for a new warranted car made in a modern factory.

 

This looks okay for £109. You could probably wangle it down to a grand deposit and another 30 quid a month...?

 

Even so:  Drive it, clean it, get it serviced. 

 

Screen Shot 2018-11-27 at 18.34.51.png

 

Yes but it's fucking awful. I happily pay more not to drive a new car because they are fucking wank.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Here's a quick vid I grabbed this morning before heading to work.

 

Sounds more like a bearing noise this morning. Very limited throttle response.

 

 

 

Definitely in trouble. I'd still check the boost pipes. Black overfuelling smoke is due to insufficient boost pressure. 

[mercrocker]

Yes but it's fucking awful. I happily pay more not to drive a new car because they are fucking wank.

 

Succinctly summarises why I am spending a grand on a 30 year old Merc service.   

 

Plus 2.5K deposit is more than I have spent on all but one of my lifetime's vehicles.

[John F]

^ This. I've never paid more than £2,900 for any vehicle (which I did twice, for a 2-year old Yahaha XJ900F and for a pristine 50,000 mile Lotus Excel with full main dealer history).

 

We've got the cheapest 2nd hand cars in Europe - why pay daft money for some new but soulless box?

[iainrcz]

Why is it someone always has to have done an apocalyptic shit in a public toilet when you just want a quiet piss.

 

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[Hertz]

Why is it someone always has to have done an apocalyptic shit in a public toilet when you just want a quiet piss.

 

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Jim Bell on a collection caper again?

[dozeydustman]

Why is it someone always has to have done an apocalyptic shit in a public toilet when you just want a quiet piss.

 

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And then because someone else is in there, it doesn't want to release, despite busting to go for the last half hour or so.

 

Or is that just me?

[John F]

^ Re. your "Rank" above, the actor that played Zammo in Grange Hill delivered a parcel to a company I was working for in central London in 2001. One of my workmates asked if he was Zammo & he said yes.

[mrbenn]

And then because someone else is in there, it doesn't want to release, despite busting to go for the last half hour or so.

 

Or is that just me?

 

Stage fright!

[Wack]

^^ Wankers

I had one send me an arm for a Subaru, told me it was definitely for my model, wasn't, refused to take it back so I claimed from my credit card company which he wasn't happy about , this was pre DSR , they've been known to send knackered parts out to get the sale hoping they'll have a good one in when the complaint comes

 

A guy on pistonheads bought a fully restored 911S only to find it's a parts bin special, not even an S and they guy doesn't want to give him his money back

 

The motor industry has more than its fair share of scumbags