The grumpy thread

[HillmanImp]

FFS. Been sent a letter by our developer through the box this morning. They’re limiting access to our road, for roadworks.

Except that the notice period started at 7AM today. And we got the letter this afternoon.

And it was very poorly written. On nasty paper.

There was some spray paint on the path outside our house last Friday and a 'sorry we missed you' card from Northern Gas inside.

 

This morning there was this:

 

 

Its no surprise as they have done the same down the road but Mrs Imp had to go out and ask them to let her get her car out before they did too much. They just started without telling her. They could've knocked on the door.

[anonymous user]

Expect your boiler to go out later, just after they have gone home.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

There was some spray paint on the path outside our house last Friday and a 'sorry we missed you' card from Northern Gas inside.

 

This morning there was this:

 

received_263542724349099.jpeg

 

Its no surprise as they have done the same down the road but Mrs Imp had to go out and ask them to let her get her car out before they did too much. They just started without telling her. They could've knocked on the door.

Exactly the same. The ‘letter’ they put through was pathetic.

 

Phoned the developer, told them in no uncertain terms what I think of it. They apologised for the notice and I told them that notice traditionally happens in advance, not after commencement or during...

 

Yeah. Not happy.

[purplebargeken]

Yes, Edmonton, fucking shitting arse of a location. Shootings and stabbings all within a couple of days. 

 

Just fucking nuke the place and be done. I fucking hate the cunting, shitting hateful cunt of a place.

 

Yet will Mrs PBK move? No. 

 

I give up. 

[Guest Hooli]

Fucking pick pocketed about an hour ago, a couple aged mid 30's, cunts. I can't recall what I had for dinner yesterday but I remember their fucking details. Cunts. 

 

Cards cancelled within 5 or 10 minutes, ha, that got you nowhere then you thieving cunts. Utter Cunts. Fill in online DVLA form re: licence, want 20 quid via card, well fucking duh, the fucking card was stolen. Can't do that until I get the replacement. Cunts. Will have to update all the card details on line. Fucking cunting cunty cunts. Reported via Met Police online. Urrghh. 

 

Cunts, cunts, cunts, cunts and fucking cunts. They had gone by the time I'd peeled away from the curb in the i10 (parked round the corner) which shifts quite a lot when prodded. Death by running over would have occurred or at least some retro Bodie & Doyle over bonnet sliding action.

 

Fucking cunting cunts.

 

Liked for the excessive & creative cuntage used in the post.

[Eddie Honda]

Yes, Edmonton, fucking shitting arse of a location.

I've heard they do good kebabs round there mind.

 

Sorry.

[artdjones]

Yes, Edmonton, fucking shitting arse of a location. Shootings and stabbings all within a couple of days.

 

Just fucking nuke the place and be done. I fucking hate the cunting, shitting hateful cunt of a place.

 

Yet will Mrs PBK move? No.

 

I give up.

Yes,a nice quadruple stabbing there last night.

[HillmanImp]

Expect your boiler to go out later, just after they have gone home.

Apparently there was a leak and they had to switch the gas off this afternoon. Its back on for now but they are going to have to dig up the drive to fix it properly.

 

Either that or Mrs Imp shouted at them this morning and pissed them off enough to give themselves loads of extra work to spite her.....

[HillmanImp]

Exactly the same. The ‘letter’ they put through was pathetic.

Phoned the developer, told them in no uncertain terms what I think of it. They apologised for the notice and I told them that notice traditionally happens in advance, not after commencement or during...

Yeah. Not happy.

But the plans were on display…”

 

“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”

 

“That’s the display department.”

 

“With a flashlight.”

 

“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”

 

“So had the stairs.”

 

“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”

 

“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.

[barefoot]

There was some spray paint on the path outside our house last Friday and a 'sorry we missed you' card from Northern Gas inside.

 

This morning there was this:

 

received_263542724349099.jpeg

 

Its no surprise as they have done the same down the road but Mrs Imp had to go out and ask them to let her get her car out before they did too much. They just started without telling her. They could've knocked on the door.

 

 

Similar thing happened to us.

 

Returned from summer holiday in the camper van to find that the water board had dug across the end of my drive.

A fat, sweaty bloke with his trousers hanging off put some steel boards down so I could park up.

It was then that I discovered he'd cut off my water.

'Oy crack arse' I exclaimed, 'you've turned off me water!'

'Can't you manage until Monday?' He retorted

'Could you fucking manage?'

 

I heard him on the phone to his boss a few minutes later ...

'He asked if I could manage... And he called me crack arse...'

 

The water was back on in little more than a trice.

[Wack]

I let the mot lapse on the xm for 2 weeks by accident. Blissfully drove around for 2 weeks, including up the m25 for a few junctions etc and got nothing. Felt like a massive criminal driving to work and back for the 2 days via the deep back roads before I could get a test once I found out!

 

 

Years ago my dad was paying a fortune for car insurance because he'd been with the same company for decades and they'd put it up a bit every year, at least double what it should be so I went online and found him a policy for 40% of his renewal

 

short version, 12 months later it didn't auto renew and he drove round until his tax ran out with no insurance , about 11 months I think it was, luckily nothing happened but it was a proper O FFFUUUCCKK moment 

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Three quid isn't unreasonable for a cup of tea, they have rent, business rates, tax, utility bills, staff wages and god knows what else to pay.

A friend of mine ruins a burger van at motorsport events and always gets people moaning about his prices, what people fail to grasp is that he has to pay £500 a weekend to be there so has to sell 200 cups of tea at £2.50 just to cover his pitch fees, he then has to sell 200 more to cover his fuel, travel, staff, insurance etc before he even begins to make any profit.

I'll happily pay it when it's served with a smile and it's the temperature of actual hot water.

 

Sent from my TA-1012 using Tapatalk

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Lady Grumpius and I have concluded that marking the 'letter' we got through this morning in red pen and sending it back with a grade would take too long.  Too many mistakes.

 

For context, Lady Grumpius is a teacher...

[purplebargeken]

Yes to the kebabs and yes, confirmed re: quadruple stabbing. I guess if you are going to stab then the more the merrier. Why do one when four is just as easy. 

 

I was round the corner from the 'point your shotgun in the back of a cab' shooting episode the other night. I thought it was a firework tbh. 

[purplebargeken]

The use of 'cunt' was about the most repeatable expletive I can print. Even on here.

[Ghosty]

Fucking shaking, just had some fucknugget in one of those crewcab thingies try and kill me.

 

Sitting at some lights in the right lane, there's a merge after them. Next to me is a young chap in a Mito, and behind him there's some twat sitting almost horizontally in an Amarok with a load of LEDs plastered on the front, it's kangarooing as he sits in the queue.
Traffic proceeds and this bellend proceeds to floor it and tailgate the Mito into the merge, front of my car has nowhere to go so I lean on the horn and let off a bit as he guns past. 
I wave a 'what?' gesture at him out the window and he fucking well brake checks me, glad I was on my toes or it'd be towbar to the face seeing as I was in the Civic

 

Still, an Amarok with an illegal fond numberplate and a load of LEDs isn't hard to miss so I know to avoid it in future.

 

Get home and tell my mum about it and I'm wrong for leaning on the horn apparently, no sympathy to be had, apparently using the horn is 'looking for trouble'. Alright then?

I'm off to get pissed, can't be doing with this.

[Eddie Honda]

apparently using the horn is 'being Italian'.

That's what it is.

 

What is the internationally recognised gesture for "what?"? Is it similar to the Gareth Hunt Nescafé one?

[alcyonecorporation]

Give GMP a bell with their reg.

[iainrcz]

Going to York for a few days next week. Ok.

 

Except somehow the fact Town are at home on the Tuesday night passed me by. I'm not sure leaving dick head in the hotel and coming home to watch the match would go down well.

 

For fucks sake.

 

Being given shit reserved for team leaders at work and getting a chat about my "decision making" when I'm not a team leader, merely not a braindead fuckwit and now this.

 

I'm sorely tempted to ask to drop a pay grade and become a couldn't give a shit monkey, see how that works out for them.

[Parky]

Fucking shaking, just had some fucknugget in one of those crewcab thingies try and kill me.

 

Sitting at some lights in the right lane, there's a merge after them. Next to me is a young chap in a Mito, and behind him there's some twat sitting almost horizontally in an Amarok with a load of LEDs plastered on the front, it's kangarooing as he sits in the queue.

Traffic proceeds and this bellend proceeds to floor it and tailgate the Mito into the merge, front of my car has nowhere to go so I lean on the horn and let off a bit as he guns past. 

I wave a 'what?' gesture at him out the window and he fucking well brake checks me, glad I was on my toes or it'd be towbar to the face seeing as I was in the Civic

 

Still, an Amarok with an illegal fond numberplate and a load of LEDs isn't hard to miss so I know to avoid it in future.

 

Get home and tell my mum about it and I'm wrong for leaning on the horn apparently, no sympathy to be had, apparently using the horn is 'looking for trouble'. Alright then?

I'm off to get pissed, can't be doing with this.

Whenever I see those things I always imagine the steroid pumped body builder behind the wheel is desperate to get to hospital to see if they can find his penis, explaining the hurry.

[Ghosty]

As a matter of fact he actually turned off for the local hospital!

[alcyonecorporation]

Had someone similarly roid-ripped call my MGF a 'fucking f***ots car' from the seat of a Golf Clipper cabrio if that's any consolation [apologies, but that's what he actually said].

 

I was in Stockport, to be fair. I once watched someone at the local Decathalon kick off at a checkout conveyor belt before being restrained by police. Stockport is where Amazons are worth less than brush-painted Suzuki Bandits with papier-mache fairings.....yeah!

 

The Turkish restaurant near the fall-out shelter's nice, though. So at least there's that.

[fairkens]

[quote name="HillmanImp" post="1664705" timestamp="1542633546"

 

 

"I WAS AT WORK!!!!!!"

 

 

 

Completely inappropriate but that made me laugh!

[Ghosty]

That Decathlon is a fun* place. Once spent three quarters of an hour in there arguing with the staff about their definitions of 'faulty' and 'fit for purpose'.

 

Reminds me of being in Asda Hulme and seeing a woman berate the staff because they don't put carrier bags on the self serve tills any more and you have to ask for them. She snatched a load of them and stormed out. Yay shoplifting.

[SherpaMog]

That cloning tale is a sodding nightmare! I'd have gone apoplectic with that mess...……… I've found they're no better with stolen/recovered updates either.

 

Old mans SRI was stolen ……. I put the word out with old friends and we got it back 3days later (guy who nicked it was later done for 4murders but that's another story) so all good. Couple of locks damaged and wiring a mess, soon sorted….. fast forward 6+mths and I decided I'd fly in - use the SRI as pops was rolling around in a new fleet car.

Early Friday morning - lit up and pulled over. thought nothing of it and talked quite happily - yes, it WAS stolen over 6mths ago, now of course not! We got it back after just 3days.

Not good enough - computer says no!

Aside* - my name is the same as that of my cousin - who is a known dealer, pimp and allround psycho! So when I gave my name I was rugby tackled and pinned down. Back-up called…

Back-up consisted of an old RAF colleague… Great thinks I, a known friend who can vouch I'm not the loony tunes cousin. He did, but arresting officer says NO!

Cuffed and read my rights (after I'd reminded arresting officer) - into back of car.

Pops was on a mobile job touring sites and didn't get reception in a lot of the buildings.... and didn't pick up the answerphone message until almost end of day. Thought it ws a wind up!

Eventually - plod friend checked on me at end of day, called my mum - who convinced dad I was actually, really, in the cells………

I got out just before I was carted off to Durham jail for the weekend for an appearance before court Monday morning for theft of a motor vehicle that wasn't stolen and belonged to my dad.

Still - it's something to tell the grandkids…..

 

Other life stories include dad being interviewed 3times as Yorkshire Ripper suspect - and he WAS a doppelganger for Sutcliffe I must say

plus - 24yr Gay lover of my great uncle revealing his existence at said uncles funeral! Uncles wife was a bit surprised!

 

I couldn't make this shit up...… I think it's the only reason I have friends - I keep them enthralled!

[SherpaMog]

You're dads not my mate Pete is he ( not joking)

[108]

But the plans were on display…”

 

“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”

 

“That’s the display department.”

 

“With a flashlight.”

 

“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”

 

“So had the stairs.”

 

“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”

 

“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.

I think that the answer you are looking for is ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

42.

 

 

 

 

Fan. Lol

[purplebargeken]

Wow. A young couple dropped my wallet off this evening, completely intact. Seems that it was dropped outside a restaurant further down the Hertford Road. 

 

It wasn't the same couple that I suspect lifted it in the first instance. I suspect that the lack of actual cash and the almost immediately cancelled cards was a disappointment to the pick pockets. I was very grateful to get it back and it does show that there are some nice folk in this shit hole of a place. 

[Zelandeth]

So fluffing fed up of the impatience of drivers down here.

 

In the space of twenty minutes this afternoon I had the horn, flashing lights and shouted obscenities (one of whom followed me off the roundabout to deliver said shouting), all because I maybe delayed them by 0.03 seconds on their way around the roundabout.

 

It's a flipping two and a half tonne van with a 2.3 N/A diesel engine...it takes time to get moving from a dead stop. I'm moving as bloody fast as I can!

 

On the same note... wouldn't have needed to stop on any aside from one occasion if the folks in front of me were looking more than six inches in front of their bonnets and unnecessarily stopped at a completely clear roundabout.

 

I really bloody look forward to the time we can move back north.

 

Oh...and I really need to fit a better horn in the van, the standard one is pathetic. Might well buy two...the Invacar is getting about the most powerful air horn I can reasonably fit. Tiny car means I need to have the ability to warn that bus that he's about to run me over...

[vulgalour]

Reckon it's just been a day for it.  I'm not sure why folks tailgate and drive more aggressively when the weather conditions are worse, but they do.  Magic brake lights still do the trick on the Princess, It's amazing how far people back off when I use them after trying to get in the back seat for a while.  Not in a brake-checky way either, just a normal slowing-down-for-junctions way.  Lights come on, tailgater seems to slam on the anchors to increase the distance.  They don't come back either, they stay well back.  I'll have to see if I can get Mike to drive the Princess with me following in another car so I can see what all the fuss is about, the brake lights must be seriously bright when they come on and make it look like I'm doing an emergency stop or something.