The grumpy thread

[Pillock]

I've got a bit of a sniffle which obvs means I'm currently writing my will and letting everyone know how close to death I am.

 

My body is managing to be both too hot and too cold at the same time and the amount of snot that's poured out of my face this morning is incredible, I have no idea where it's all come from.

 

Of course, working from home I don't really have the excuse of "I don't want to risk infecting anyone" so I'm also grumpy about not taking a sick day.

[mercrocker]

Bollocks. Had to take the day off work today. This morning the right side of my kidney felt quite painful this morning, I tried to drive into work but a few miles away from home the pain was getting worse so I turned around and went back home and went to the doctors. Been diagnosed with kidney stones. Oh well, it's better than most other painful stuff.

 

Gonna chill today and go back in tomorrow. Saved me almost a days worth of fuel.

 

Shit, those fucking hurt man.....Had 'em for 40 plus years now.   Get yourself some Voltarol suppositories from the quack - if you kick off about the pain they will give them to you.  Make sure they follow this up because they will come back and bite you.   If you want any more info/horror stories (only joking!) just PM me.

[angle]

Drove the TT in today as it had its service. That's not the grump as it's all fine.

 

It's the hour drive home that was the grump. An hour to drive less than 7 miles. FFS.

 

I was going to drive in this week, but I think I'll be back on the bike tomorrow. That's only 15 minutes in and under 20 minutes back home (up hill) in comparison.

If it makes you feel any better, the last time I drove back from the same garage (in the opposite direction) it took 55 minutes to do 2 miles.

[95 quid Peugeot]

In the words of many here, restoration vandals..

A friend of ours. their son, has recently bought a really tasty Mk1 Escort import from France, totally original in every respect, however it now has coil overs, banded wheels, engine (1100) coming out and being replaced with 3500 quids worth of something, so holes now need cutting in the inner wings.. the list goes on.

I know its his money and his car, but why not fuck up one thats already fucked up

[Tadhg Tiogar]

In the words of many here, restoration vandals..

A friend of ours. their son, has recently bought a really tasty Mk1 Escort import from France, totally original in every respect, however it now has coil overs, banded wheels, engine (1100) coming out and being replaced with 3500 quids worth of something, so holes now need cutting in the inner wings.. the list goes on.

I know its his money and his car, but why not fuck up one thats already fucked up

 

I bet at least some of those changes are irreversible, so if he ruins it, he really ruins it.

[Guest Hooli]

In the words of many here, restoration vandals..

A friend of ours. their son, has recently bought a really tasty Mk1 Escort import from France, totally original in every respect, however it now has coil overs, banded wheels, engine (1100) coming out and being replaced with 3500 quids worth of something, so holes now need cutting in the inner wings.. the list goes on.

I know its his money and his car, but why not fuck up one thats already fucked up

 

It is a shame when they've survived that long to do stuff like that.

 

My old Triumph Bonnie isn't standard but I refuse to do anything that involves cutting the frame so it can go back to standard if I ever desire.

[pandamonium]

In 'old skool fords' it actually reduces the value, no matter the work / money you put in.

 

An example is a Mk1 Escort a friend had. Full on Pro-street, 383ci Chevy engine, absolutely imaculate, proper piece of kit.

 

Value? £16k

 

Same car unmolested, in original condition? More like £25k.

 

[Supernaut]

In 'old skool fords' it actually reduces the value, no matter the work / money you put in.

 

An example is a Mk1 Escort a friend had. Full on Pro-street, 383ci Chevy engine, absolutely imaculate, proper piece of kit.

 

Value? £16k

 

Same car unmolested, in original condition? More like £25k.

 

020_zps68db7b9e.jpg

That's because nobody wants to buy somebody else's project.

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, I've been looking at a trainee train driver application form, then I get hit with this question:

 

"Please give details of another person we can contact should we be unsuccessful in getting employment references. This should be a person who is not a social friend, relative or connected to ScotRail."

 

Er... who the hell do you want a reference from? Somebody who barely knows me? What worth would that reference be? It's a mandatory question, too.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

....trainee train driver application form, then I get hit with this question:

 

"Please give details of another person we can contact should we be unsuccessful in getting employment references. This should be a person who is not a social friend, relative or connected to ScotRail."

 

Er... who the hell do you want a reference from? Somebody who barely knows me? What worth would that reference be? It's a mandatory question, too.

Well, most of Autoshite could qualify as potential referees, then.

 

Problem solved.

[beko1987]

"I have eaten bbq'd black pudding and drunk beer in a field with Mr Supernaut. Therefore I feel he is entirely qualified for the job in question"

 

Helpful?

[Mally]

Saturday morning... Go out early to use touring- soft Tyre on rear, there's a nail in it. Sunday morning... Go out to use land rover- soft Tyre on front and rear, dunno, tyres are shit anyway. Sunday evening... Go out to use touring- check rear Tyre and put air in, pull off drive and headlamp blows- change bulb in dark. Monday morning... Go to cycle to station- rear light bulb blows, go to turn on battery back up light, won't turn on, get it turned on and go to station, light won't turn off. Monday evening... Go to cycle home, Dynamo won't spin on Tyre- no lights. WT actual F? So, after 3 days I need 3 tyres and a new set up of lights on the bike. I'm used to all the cars pulling last minute surprises on me but the bike?! 

In start contrast to the above, I took the 6 series out Monday night and that goes like a rocket ship.

 

Another fine candidate for the 'Dave numbers' grump of the year Trophy.

[Zelandeth]

Seriously, how difficult is it to comprehend the fact that when I say "Sorry, that's not for sale." That I'm not interested in selling it.

 

No, I am not selling the van. Especially for for the £1500 this random of the street who stinks of drink (this was about 1130 this morning) is offering.

 

*Makes mental note to double up on the usual immobilisation arrangements tonight just in case*

[Datsuncog]

"Ooh, huzzah, an unexpected space right near the front of the railway station park and ride! How fortunate!"

 

 

"Let me just steer my not insubstantial all-wheel-drive-vehicle down the narrow, single point access..."

 

 

 

 

FFS.

 

I swear, Smart Roadster owners should fit orange flags on whippy aerials to those things, kinda like recumbent bicycles...

 

 

 

Can't wait until my foot improves so I can walk to the station again; it's a fair bit better, but it's not quite there yet.

[Parky]

Godammit...

 

Following last weeks mega job offer, I have been offered an even more mega one. Except the first is permanent and the second a contract to perm role, dependant on whether their existing person returns from maternity.

 

So...

 

Job 1. Permanent, good money, well outside my comfort zone, west end of London. Nice folk, but don’t know them that well, interesting subject area

 

Job 2. Contract, may go perm, can do with eyes closed, slightly easier commute to City of London. Nicer folk whom I know, less exciting subject area. Company will be genuinely gutted if I don’t take it.

 

Dilemmas can fuck off

[SiC]

Haha yes that reminds me when I had mine. Not that far off the size of a BMC Mini.

 

That's sat right back level.

 

I miss mine. I should not have sold it.

[Mally]

You will soon be saying that about the MG.

Only miss them when they are gone.

[SiC]

You will soon be saying that about the MG.

Only miss them when they are gone.

Its why the MG hasn't gone yet!

[Tadhg Tiogar]

....I swear, Smart Roadster owners should fit orange flags on whippy aerials to those things, kinda like recumbent bicycles...

Alternatively, if you ran a regular Smart (ForTwo), you could park right up to that Roadster. Sideways for a bonus. #efficientparking

[DodgeRover]

Alternatively, if you ran a regular Smart (ForTwo), you could park right up to that Roadster. Sideways for a bonus. #efficientparking

I've seen Mr Smug park a smart car end on between 2 other vehicles then be unable to get the doors open when they came back as the original cars had moved and new ones had parked just a fraction closer....,really one for the grin thread.

[Floatylight]

If the 'pulsing' in my head each time I move it doesn't go away STAT, I may have to take severe measures. Alcohol is not involved, despite the attendant nausea.

 

So looking forward* to the dismissal appeal in less than three hours.

Nasty, hope you're feeling better now DM

 

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

[AMC Rebel]

Broadband has been down all day. Reported online at 8am - still down zero update and can’t get through on phone or get any response via twitter. It’s Plusnet rebadged as John Lewis - both of whom theretically care about customer service.

[richardmorris]

"Ooh, huzzah, an unexpected space right near the front of the railway station park and ride! How fortunate!"

 

20181106_082130.jpg

 

"Let me just steer my not insubstantial all-wheel-drive-vehicle down the narrow, single point access..."

 

20181106_082141.jpg

 

 

Trollface.jpg

 

 

 

 

FFS.

 

I swear, Smart Roadster owners should fit orange flags on whippy aerials to those things, kinda like recumbent bicycles...

 

 

 

Can't wait until my foot improves so I can walk to the station again; it's a fair bit better, but it's not quite there yet.

Try an x1/9. I swear I had to get out of the car to bang on the window of some geriatric muppet who was about to reverse into me in Waitrose Sunningdale.

[Snipes]

Broadband has been down all day. Reported online at 8am - still down zero update and can’t get through on phone or get any response via twitter. It’s Plusnet rebadged as John Lewis - both of whom theretically care about customer service.

Yeah you can forget the john Lewis bit - it achieved nothing for me. Also when my service went down with BT it took over a month to get back online with PlusNet.

[pandamonium]

This has been building for a while...

 

If you're selling a car, FUCKING HOOVER IT! It's shocking how many sell cars / take photos of cars interiors without so much as a shake of the mats and a baby wipe over the dashboard.

 

I've received cars where the interior is so rancid you could grow mushrooms inside, it makes you wonder what these people live like if they think that is acceptable.

 

I reckon I could make a living just buying badly prepped cars, cleaning them and then selling for a few quid more. But I'd probably die of dysentery before I made any decent money.

[Noel Tidybeard]

There's a rattle in my passenger seat headrest.  It's driving me fucking nuts.

 

try moving it one notch or recline the seat a smidgen- i had a car that did it if the seat was at the wrong angle!!1!

[Aston Martin]

Police LED light bars, I know they have to be bright. But, fuck me. An X5 went past and it took 12 hours for the doctors to reattatch my retinas.

[xtriple]

Two words:

 

Ron.

 

Besse.

[Pieman]

I see the "powerfully built company director" meme from Pistonheads that seems to have to be shoehorned into EVERY SINGLE THREAD on there has now migrated its way onto here.

 

Stop it, please.

[wuvvum]

Work have introduced a fancy new expenses system.  Before, when we had to go to London or wherever for meetings, they'd buy the train tickets etc. for us.  Now we are expected to purchase everything ourselves and claim the cost back through expenses.  A bit of a pain, but we were assured that everything would go through and be reimbursed within three working days.

 

I have a client meeting in London coming up.  I booked my train tickets (not cheap 'cos travelling to London at peak times), then put through the automated expenses form.  Ten days later, still no money.  So I follow it up, and apparently the new system requires that my reimbursement request has to be authorised by my line manager.  With no facility to override that and have it authorised by someone else. 

 

My line manager is on maternity leave. 

 

FFS.

 

 

Also, the bastarding Audi has failed its bastarding MOT again, so that's another 40 quid down the drain, which I can ill afford at the moment (see above).  All the bits which it failed on last time and which I fixed were OK, but in the meantime the steering rack boot has split.  And because quality* German engineering, it's not a nice friendly universal boot sticking out of the side of the rack assembly in an easily accessible place.  Oh no.  It's a single boot on the end of the rack "ram", where it joins to the two arms which take the steering input to the hubs.  It's right against the bulkhead, with lots of fun stuff in the way like heater pipes, PAS pipe, fuel filter, battery tray...  I can't even see how the boot is held on at one end, or how the assembly is supposed to come apart for the new boot to be fitted.  I can see the other end well enough, but that's barely any help as it's held on by one of those stupid crimp clips which I have to somehow try and uncrimp with almost zero access.

 

hhhhhhhhhhh

[timolloyd]

Bollocks to using Eurostar ever again. Every time I use it the journey takes 5+ hours (mainly because of crap onward trains at the London end. Quicker for me to drive from Surrey to Brussels than take the trains