The grumpy thread

4,066 · April 18, 2018

Notice of intended prosecution for 71 in a 60 on the M1 in this morning's post.
Then I went to give blood

I don't think I'd manage a selfless act like that after getting one of those shitty letters from plod. Very good form chap.

9,265 · April 18, 2018

Just had an 'interesting' confrontation with a white van man. Turned into a road and this van is parked in the middle of the road, cars all down one side so no way through. I sit and wait patiently, I'm in no rush and the guy has a job to do...

He finally gets back in his van, faffs about for a minute or two then starts to come down the road, I have waited by a gap for him to pull in and when he gets to me he ignores it, I point at the gap, he gestures me to go back to the start of the road. I declined...

Seems I'm a posh c**t with a big car and I can fuck off. I agree but don't go anywhere. Like I said, I'm in no rush and what started out as me being nice and helpful has now descended to me being a twat and just sitting there. I'm in no rush after all.

5,130 · April 18, 2018

...IKEA ..

^ I think I see the issue here

17,069 · April 18, 2018

Had a commission arrangement with previous employer whereby any business I introduced which then turned into a client would net me a payment. Despite having left 7 months ago the arrangement applied for up to 12 months after my departure.

Just noticed the clause stating "payment made at the discretion of the CEO".

Not going to get it am I?

13,107 · April 18, 2018

Depends if he wants you back.

15,089 · April 18, 2018

....Just noticed the clause stating "payment made at the discretion of the CEO".

Not going to get it am I?

Not if he wants it more than you.....

17,069 · April 18, 2018

Yeah I am not holding out much hope for it. Didnt want to leave that job but as a contractor I had no rights at all. I was offered the chance to apply for it when the role was made permanent but I discovered the role was being split in two and I could apply for one half of what I had been happily doing for three years.

Problem was whichever role I got was worth half of the pay I was on. I didn't think it fair that three years of hard work and loyalty (including turning down another role elsewhere as I was pursuaded to stick around) deserved a 50% pay cut. Had I been permanent I had a rock solid case for constructive dismissal. However I left on good terms and even had a leaving do paid for by the firm (they never did that for contractors unless they liked them).

Still won't worry about it until hey actually say "bugger off". Then I will either consult a solicitor or store them in my memory bank of humans to be destroyed when my robot army takes over

10,752 · April 18, 2018

The huge box of meat saga...

No phone call yesterday, but this morning I got one from the courier company asking me what had happened, I explained that two boxes, both marked 1 of 1 had been left by my front door whilst I was in the house. Both were addressed to me, but one should have gone to Brighton. "I'd have refused delivery if I'd seen your bloke". Not a bother says he, chap from meat company will ring you back later.

I'm just stepping out of the door when my mobile rings but no-one speaks, we live in a mobile black hole. I went back into the house & rang the bloke, 'can you confirm that the invoice number is the same on both labels', Apparently that was odd as their computer claims to have only printed one label. I told him it was all in my freezer and that I was just going out for the rest of the day...

Fast forward a few hours, I'm doing 'power-shopping' with the wife & trying not to look like a pervert in the bra department of a well known store when my phone rings again, 'All right mate, I've got a bloke in a wagon outside your house waiting to do a collection..."

I explained again, that I was out for the rest of the day but would be around tomorrow AFTERNOON.

So, bog all response yesterday

Three phone calls and a lorry today,

I only ordered a bit of sausage,

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

I'm really looking forward to writing a review.

15,089 · April 18, 2018

.....I only ordered a bit of sausage, ....

If you play your cards right, your next order for a bit of sausage might bring you an entire pig's carcass.....

42,374 · April 18, 2018

I'm really looking forward to writing a review.

And I'm really looking forward to reading it.

130,343 · April 18, 2018

I only ordered a bit of sausage,

I'm really looking forward to writing a review.

'Delivery driver tried to give me sausage but there was too much meat for me?'

18,021 · April 18, 2018

Doing a load of recording sessions at work. Some of them for singers with backing tracks. The most boring type of recording on Earth.

'Have you sent me your backing track, so I can put it into my system?'

'Oh... it's on my phone...'

'Ok. I'll sort it out.'

What gets me about this is that they're given plenty of notice to send things to me well in advance so I know what they're doing and can set things up appropriately. They don't think about the fact that if it's on their phone, it's not exactly convenient for me to play back to them so they can sing along if they haven't sent it to me and it's not like your little iPhone is really up to the task...

So instead of 'Ok. I'll sort it out.', what I'm thinking is 'I've been doing this all fucking day and I'm fucking sick of this, why the fuck can't you read a set of basic fucking instructions so we can recording this fucking song?'

But I don't. So I sort it out. Because if I did say that, I'd rightfully get the sack.

14,508 · April 18, 2018

Crap day at work. Missed Portsmouth mini-meet.

Wife got train in today, went to pick her up via stepdaughter's college for parents' evening. On way home, on the A27 at 70mph and exactly 198,000 miles, EML comes on and car in limp home mode.

Bumhats.

17,680 · April 18, 2018

Doing a load of recording sessions at work. Some of them for singers with backing tracks. The most boring type of recording on Earth.

'Have you sent me your backing track, so I can put it into my system?'

'Oh... it's on my phone...'

'Ok. I'll sort it out.'

What gets me about this is that they're given plenty of notice to send things to me well in advance so I know what they're doing and can set things up appropriately. They don't think about the fact that if it's on their phone, it's not exactly convenient for me to play back to them so they can sing along if they haven't sent it to me and it's not like your little iPhone is really up to the task...

So instead of 'Ok. I'll sort it out.', what I'm thinking is 'I've been doing this all fucking day and I'm fucking sick of this, why the fuck can't you read a set of basic fucking instructions so we can recording this fucking song?'

But I don't. So I sort it out. Because if I did say that, I'd rightfully get the sack.

Can there not be a terrible autotune incident, leaving the offenders' vocal tracks sounding like Pinky and Perky or Marvin the paranoid android?

April 18, 2018

Most pop 'artists' sound like that anyway!

8,858 · April 18, 2018

Just had an 'interesting' confrontation with a white van man. Turned into a road and this van is parked in the middle of the road, cars all down one side so no way through. I sit and wait patiently, I'm in no rush and the guy has a job to do...

He finally gets back in his van, faffs about for a minute or two then starts to come down the road, I have waited by a gap for him to pull in and when he gets to me he ignores it, I point at the gap, he gestures me to go back to the start of the road. I declined...

Seems I'm a posh c**t with a big car and I can fuck off. I agree but don't go anywhere. Like I said, I'm in no rush and what started out as me being nice and helpful has now descended to me being a twat and just sitting there. I'm in no rush after all.

Have you moved out of the way yet or are you still there ?

23,903 · April 18, 2018

Never underestimate the bloody mindedness of the retired, I bet the BGD would run out of petrol before xtriple moved. Hooray!

4,906 · April 18, 2018

Why am I eating Samphire? ...Hateful shit.

23,903 · April 18, 2018

Why am I eating Samphire? ...Hateful shit.

It is oddly chewy isn’t it.

15,089 · April 18, 2018

Why am I eating Samphire? ...Hateful pretentious shit.

EFA

28,435 · April 18, 2018

Two days on and off poking around with the network which has continued to act up now and then (but only resulting in connectivity issues for the Windows machines). Finally discovered that in the config options for the switch, DHCP had been bloody disabled. Ticking that check box made everything suddenly start working again.

Still can't work out why it was only causing issues with the Windows PCs!

Bloody networks...

18,021 · April 18, 2018

Can there not be a terrible autotune incident, leaving the offenders' vocal tracks sounding like Pinky and Perky or Marvin the paranoid android?

Deeply tempting but unfortunately not in this instance. They have to be produced to particular (and strict) criteria....

April 18, 2018

Two days on and off poking around with the network which has continued to act up now and then (but only resulting in connectivity issues for the Windows machines). Finally discovered that in the config options for the switch, DHCP had been bloody disabled. Ticking that check box made everything suddenly start working again.

Still can't work out why it was only causing issues with the Windows PCs!

Bloody networks...

I hate networks...

I had to swap out a Cisco3750 this morning & had a spare one all setup with a copy of the config on ready. Yet when I put it in it refused to enable the VLANs setup in the config, much faffing later & recreating the VLANs fixed it. I can only assume the vlan.dat file corrupted while in my car boot last night....

I hate IT.

18,091 · April 18, 2018

tonights "live at the apollo"

i was under the impression that the program featured commedians.

tonights show had 3 on who were all about as funny as having herpes.

or ebola.

or all the horrible infection diseases known to man at the same time.

wankers.

24,377 · April 19, 2018

3rd cold in 6 weeks... I'm feeling grumpy all right!!!

56,305 · April 19, 2018

Leicestershire, looking for £500

Sounds interesting man. Pop a thread up? Love to see pics. And the reg.

36,388 · April 19, 2018

Two questions if I may.

1) Does anybody, anybody at all (and please DO speak up if you do) find this even remotely funny? I see it time and time again on here, and it's grating.

2) Those who DO use it, do you congratulate yourself once you've typed it with a mini fist pump, a pat on the back and some tea and medals?

Seriously, get to fuck. It's not pithy. It's not witty. There's no impressive wordplay, no humour and certainly no entertainment on offer. It's basic.

In fact, I'd like to broaden my whole argument to include swearing in general. We seem to have forgotten the poetic art of swearing well. Rarely do I meet anybody who's truly mastered swearing; who's fluent in its beautiful magnificence. It is a joy to witness a raconteur unleash "hoofwanking bunglecunt" onto someone, rather than just mumbling "c**t" under their fag stained, lager infested breath.

Everyone, including me, needs to raise their game or just give up.

2,498 · April 19, 2018

*cunt*

8,961 · April 19, 2018

Capture.PNG

Two questions if I may.

1) Does anybody, anybody at all (and please DO speak up if you do) find this even remotely funny? I see it time and time again on here, and it's grating.

2) Those who DO use it, do you congratulate yourself once you've typed it with a mini fist pump, a pat on the back and some tea and medals?

Seriously, get to fuck. It's not pithy. It's not witty. There's no impressive wordplay, no humour and certainly no entertainment on offer. It's basic.

In fact, I'd like to broaden my whole argument to include swearing in general. We seem to have forgotten the poetic art of swearing well. Rarely do I meet anybody who's truly mastered swearing; who's fluent in its beautiful magnificence. It is a joy to witness a raconteur unleash "hoofwanking bunglecunt" onto someone, rather than just mumbling "c**t" under their fag stained, lager infested breath.

Everyone, including me, needs to raise their game or just give up.

cumfart insanity, your motoring pubic.

etc

27,300 · April 19, 2018

YOU DRIER A SKIP WANKER

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