The grumpy thread

[Coprolalia]

Route learning wasn't good when I did buses either, I once had an old dear show me most the 91 to Petersfield one bank holiday/sunday.

 

I worked for Stagecoach, I know all about faulty shite buses & crap management. The coach company I went to afterwards wasn't much different.

 

Cor the 91 to Peef, that takes me back! I wonder if I was ever one of your passengers

[Guest Hooli]

Cor the 91 to Peef, that takes me back! I wonder if I was ever one of your passengers

 

Would have been about april 2004 - late 2005 & only sundays/BH as that's when the Worthing depot run it. If you ever had a driver who bought his Jack Russel with him for a walk in Peef on the last bus of the day that was me.

[D Spares & Tyres]

No need to be a bawbag as well.

So rather than him noticing his junction, slowing down and pulling in behind the truck that he has just spent several miles trying to overtake and is only now parallel, he has to try and force the other driver to brake rather than just use his manners and common sense?

 

And that makes me a bawbag somehow?

 

Despairs and tires indeed

[Guest Hooli]

 

Despairs and tires indeed

 

 

FFS!

 

HTF did I not click what your username was till you typed it out?

[mk2_craig]

I don't think instructing pays as much as they claim unless you work mega hours, not from what I've heard from people who've done it anyway.

It does get you access to endless 17 year old girls though.

[Guest Hooli]

It does get you access to endless 17 year old girls though.

 

They'd drive you nuts after 5mins when you realise they are still children.

 

 

/Auld cunt

[SiC]

FFS!

 

HTF did I not click what your username was till you typed it out?

I've only just got it too. I always thought it was because he owned a shop that sold car spares and tyres called "D Spares & Tyres"!

[New POD]

POD - just keep fucking billing mate

 

My current gig gives me the rage sometimes but then I remember I don’t care and that their inefficiency makes me money

 

Chaos = Cash£££

 

Yeah. But I feel like I'm piggy in the fucking middle, and it's making me look like a muppet, and muppets don't get contract extensions.

[New POD]

I don't think instructing pays as much as they claim unless you work mega hours, not from what I've heard from people who've done it anyway.

 

It's not hard to do the sums.  However, if 2/3rd of the turnover is undeclared to the tax man, your actual cash in hand is erm more. Like taxi Drivers and hot dog salesmen.

[Tamworthbay]

Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!! Almost totally run off the A14 by a tit of a lorry driver... AGAIN!

 

Twice this month. Words absolutely fail me right now.

 

Both occurrences have the same thing in common and that is this: they don't want to slow down.

 

So instead they change lanes whilst a car is next to them. Has the world gone fucking mad? When was this acceptable? IF you don't want to slow your pig iron dinosaur down because it'll take 700 gear changes and 2 months to get back up to your restricted limit then DONT BE A FUCKING LORRY DRIVER!!! 

 

Shit a duck...

Had the same on the A42 yesterday, a few years ago HGV drivers were the best on the roads. Now they are 90% cunts, 8% cunty cunts and 2% still brilliant

[Pillock]

Doesn't that need degrees & you end up on a waiting list etc?

 

Just thinking it's not a turn up tomorrow n get paid job.

You start off as a depot driver working the shifts that nobody else wants. For that though, most companies seem to pay £25k+

 

You then move onto local passenger, then mainline and then freight. You need to "sign" routes which involves learning them and then being assessed on them. Especially on frieght, the more routes you sign then the more work there is. You can then be an assessor etc. Freight drivers doing long night shifts can be taking home £65k+

 

There are assessment centres, and a bit of a process to apply but it's not a secret handshake sort of place.

[M'coli]

NewPOD - A++ top quality rant! 7 weeks to get AutoCAD... try SME - 1 licence amongst about 10 engineers...

 

Eddyramrod (winter Olympics) to be honest, I can't see the problem - physically phit young women in aerodynamic (and hence close-fitting) speed suits, hurtling downhill at breakneck speed, what's not to like?

[richardmorris]

Haha you have obviously not seen our local bus company. It deserves its own thread on here.

Diamond buses, what a joke. As in genuinely funny. Some overheat, some catch fire, some just break down. The drivers occasionally get lost and ask passengers for directions.

The Wrexham to Chester ones just seem to jettison their gearboxes. Weekly.

[155V6]

Vans,

I loaded up the 64 plate Transit which we've had at work for a month or so.It was just over a ton of hay & woodshavings.I started up ready to go,& there was no power steering.Had a look under the bonnet,& the auxillary belt is trying to climb off the pulleys & is splitting.

We've still got the old 57 plate van,so transferred everything over to that.As I was leaving,my boss said jokingly not to break that one as well.I'd got about a mile away,there was a loud bang,& the van leant over to the right.I got out,& the leaf spring had broken & was trailing along the ground.I managed to crawl it back,my boss actually laughed when he saw what had happened.I had to unload it again,so have moved the same ton of stuff 3 times & not delivered it yet.

The mechanic is coming tomorrow to see which one is easiest to fix 

[Louise2cv]

I see your Diamond buses (you forgot diesel spills btw) and raise you Express Motors...

 

...well I would if they hadn't had their licence taken away!

 

Fires, sooo many crashes, regular breakdowns, scary speeding, smoking bus drivers on mobile phones, in trouble and under investigation for fiddling the subsidised fares, then a wheel came off while travelling through a nearby village hitting cars.

 

The transport commissioner thingy have postponed a decision on whether they will grant a licence to the newly formed and oh so separate "Express Motors (Caernarfon)" until the daughter-in-law of Mr Express Motors can demonstrate that she is nothing to do with the old express motors.

 

And for the locals it means a big loss in available buses and routes. Kids missing college and whatnot while the handover went ahead.

[Angrydicky]

Grandad passed away this evening, aged 90. He had a major stroke Thursday afternoon, and had such severe brain damage there was nothing the doctors could do. He was unconscious at the end and not in any pain, which was a blessing.

 

RIP Kenneth 'Ken' Hollington, 1927-2018. Top bloke, and an interesting man with a long career at Ford UK. 

[eddyramrod]

My condolences AD.  We're here if you need us.

[AlabamaShrimp]

A Focus decided that it's a good idea today to drive at me while I'm halfway round a mini round about today.

 

It was quite a distance away but for some reason I braked which if he had of hit me would have been worse and I called him a cunt.

 

Apparently this is not the thing to do according to the fucking moaning Mrs Shrimp then decided was necessary

 

Well excuse me for not being (insert name of racing driver here) overreacting a bit but I'm a gobshite that doesn't really want an old Fiesta he can't aftord to fix being broken by an impatient twat.

[Guest Hooli]

Grandad passed away this evening, aged 90. He had a major stroke Thursday afternoon, and had such severe brain damage there was nothing the doctors could do. He was unconscious at the end and not in any pain, which was a blessing.

 

RIP Kenneth 'Ken' Hollington, 1927-2018. Top bloke, and an interesting man with a long career at Ford UK. 

 

Sorry to hear it, at least a quick end like that sounds much better for everyone (especially him) than hanging on for ages.

[danthecapriman]

Grandad passed away this evening, aged 90. He had a major stroke Thursday afternoon, and had such severe brain damage there was nothing the doctors could do. He was unconscious at the end and not in any pain, which was a blessing.

 

RIP Kenneth 'Ken' Hollington, 1927-2018. Top bloke, and an interesting man with a long career at Ford UK.

 

Sorry to hear that. Condolences to you and your family.

 

 

I lost my grandad just before New Year’s Day, he was 94. Not bad ages to get to really.

[Coprolalia]

Condolences both, never nice, but good ages and sounds like good lives lived.

 

Would have been about april 2004 - late 2005 & only sundays/BH as that's when the Worthing depot run it. If you ever had a driver who bought his Jack Russel with him for a walk in Peef on the last bus of the day that was me.

I don't remember specifically but probably was, that was about the time I was learning to drive and using the 91/92/92A/38/60 to get about. Small world.

[wuvvum]

Doesn't that need degrees & you end up on a waiting list etc?

 

Just thinking it's not a turn up tomorrow n get paid job.

 

You start off as a depot driver working the shifts that nobody else wants. For that though, most companies seem to pay £25k+

 

You then move onto local passenger, then mainline and then freight. You need to "sign" routes which involves learning them and then being assessed on them. Especially on frieght, the more routes you sign then the more work there is. You can then be an assessor etc. Freight drivers doing long night shifts can be taking home £65k+

 

There are assessment centres, and a bit of a process to apply but it's not a secret handshake sort of place.

 

I have a degree (FWIW) and I applied for a depot driving job towards the end of last year - never heard a peep, although I'm not 100% convinced they got my application as the online form was utter shite.

[wuvvum]

AD, sorry to hear about your grandad, although 90 is a pretty good innings and, as others have said, it's better to go quickly than to linger for ages.

[adw1977]

No degree required, but it is a popular choice.  Probably because, once qualified and with some experience, it can be a very well-paid job.

 

Train driving is what I do for a living.  Not an easy job to get, but not much expected in terms of qualifications, certainly not a degree. Pays well and very secure (as long as you don't seriously fuck up).

 

Sometimes open to applications "off the street" and usually heavily oversubscribed.

 

Key qualities are an ability to concentrate over long periods and at all different times of day, reliability and (unsuprisingly) timekeeping.  You have to learn a LOT of stuff about track safety, routes you'll be driving, what to do when the train has a FTP, dealing with signal failures etc. and are very rigorously tested on all of this - definitely a job where getting through the initial assessment/interview is only the start of actually securing the position.

 

Bear in mind that it's a job with a lot of unsociable hours, weekend and bank holiday working and possibly night shifts and you need to be able to concentrate and remember all your stuff at all those odd hours.  Also a fair bit of monotony, but things that require you to snap to attention can happen just at the point where you're zoning out because of the repetitiveness of the job.

[clayts450]

Two lanes A610 close to Bar Lane headed out of Nottm for those that know it.

 

Racetrack during evening rush hour. I usually bimble along in left hand lane, Lane 1, on/around 30 due to average speed cams.

 

Lane 2 right hand lane tends to go same speed, again due to average speed cams. However, cars often have to turn right across the opposite lanes of the same road, hence why I bimble along in Lane 1.

 

So matey has to pull up behind a right turning vehicle and decides way too important so decides to pull into my lane - he's stopped, I'm doing 30.

 

I brake slightly with no intent of stopping, just to avoid a collision. I cannot justify stopping to let him out as not slow enough, plus consideration to users behind me.

 

I carry on driving and the bloke blasts his horn. When he gets past the right turner, he zooms up behind me, clearly breaking the speed limit, and pulls alongside me as we both drive along. He's obviously wanting to do the coffee beans etc. I'm stoic, unmoved and keep looking straight ahead. As he zooms off (again over speed limit) he gives another long blast of the horn.

 

Wanker.

 

However, a grin did result from this antagonistic driving god's actions

 

(1) he'll most likely get a speeding ticket

(2) due to my superb driving skills I was able to zoom past him and off into the distance as lane 1 is always faster due to loads more right turns. As much as I would like to have given a toot  as I passed, cannae at present due to temporary electrical woes....

[tooSavvy]

I might hope my 'passing' might be commended as 'not lingering'...

 

To me >> Out IS Out!

 

Can't imagine anyone wishing for the 'other'... *

 

*I refer to 3legged dogs "oh, but Prince is everything to US!"

 

**anyone ASK Prince.. ??

 

 

TS

[wuvvum]

...anybody???

[PhilA]

The current radio advert for the fiat 500. Any car where the best* thing about it to advertise is a retardedly large touchscreen radio to piss you off looking shit in the middle of the dash isn't off to a good start.

 

Then the utter cuntwomble who tells you the 'wental' price! it's not even cute when a 5 year old female child creature says it & it's just cuntish & annoying to the extent he needs a kick in the face everytime he breathes when an adult male does so.

 

tl:dr

 

Fucking advertising cunts.

I don't understand this, in general. Here, TV advertising for a fairly standard template. Recently they started to advertise Strongbow ciders over here. Not the standard stuff but the fancy blends because they're trying to break into something of an emergent market.

 

However, the person they picked to do the voiceover had this affinity with words like appow and chewwy bwossum.

 

In general, a clean, crisp English accent tends to sell product here. Adverts for Jaguar have a somewhat Sergeant Major type doing the voices, Land Rover have recently started with a guy with a Brummie accent but quite where the speech impaired voice over guy comes in is beyond me. I mean, Douglas Bader and all but some things you should realise aren't really your ideal vocation.

 

Phil

[STUNO]

Nope, me not Savvy bout that.

[Wack]

Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!! Almost totally run off the A14 by a tit of a lorry driver... AGAIN!

 

Twice this month. Words absolutely fail me right now.

 

Both occurrences have the same thing in common and that is this: they don't want to slow down.

 

So instead they change lanes whilst a car is next to them. Has the world gone fucking mad? When was this acceptable? IF you don't want to slow your pig iron dinosaur down because it'll take 700 gear changes and 2 months to get back up to your restricted limit then DONT BE A FUCKING LORRY DRIVER!!! 

 

Shit a duck...

There are some good LGV drivers but there are a lot of bad ones who bring their road rage driving a car attitude with them when they get behind the wheel of a truck , I hate driving on the A14 , the elephant racing is a PITA , they just bully their way out not caring if they kill you in the process

 

Coming back from Sheffield over woodhead I got onto the M67 , there's a bit where it's 3 lanes ,Lane one turns into a sliproad but it's a good mile before the exit .

 

I was passing an artic , me doing 65 in lane 2 when his RH indicator came on , nothing in front of him for 3/4 mile , a car in lane 3 doing 80 , I'm alongside him when he starts to move over, I've nowhere to go so I brake like fuck and he pushes me into lane 3 , car brakes and I see dust as he puts a wheel on the grass

 

I was just waiting for the bang and death but amazingly nobody hit anything , truck driver, no fucks given , daydreaming , saw a sign saying left lane ending in 1m and just pulled over , I think there must've been inches between the 3 of us