The grumpy thread

[Guest Hooli]

First thing I do when it's dark enough for lights is dip the interior mirror, always have done.

[alf892]

I would like to blame the internet but it wasn't around when I had similar fuck-knuckles berating me during my Yank days.  

 

"Wotsis do to the gallon then" usually was the opener at the Shell station.  

 

After a few of these I just used to lie and say "eight"  

 

This, for some reason, drew even more scornful interjections from matey in the Chevette or whatever.    The final drop of four star would be rattled noisily out of the nozzle which was then equally noisily slammed back into the pump before he stalked off to the cashier.   I then invariably let the pump dribble into the Pontiac so that it looked like I was putting about fifty gallons in. 

 

Not letting it lie, I usually got a "what do you do for a livin' then to afford that?"   It really, really wasn't a lie when on one occasion I could truthfully say that I was on the dole.   Actually I was between jobs but I wanted to get it up him.  

 

Its not the opinions that wind me up - I never give a fuck what anybody thinks.   Its just the attitude that people think they can instigate a conversation with me that they have every intention of turning into an opinionated drone.   Fuck Off.

I get the 'wotsit do to the gallon' question with the pickup............best way I've found to disengage with them is to say 'dunno mate........when it needs fuel I put some in....or just tell them I only ever put 40 quid in'........

[sierraman]

My friends wife committed suicide yesterday by driving at speed into a bridge support. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Having seen a car hit a bridge support at full whack it’s not a nice way to go either. What an awful space she must have been in to consider doing that. Sorry to hear that.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Whenever I have been questioned about old motors, I just ask them how much theirs has depreciated and how much the finance cost them per month. That pretty much ends the conversation.

[oldcars]

I really could not give two fecks what folk think of my motors. I like them and that is all i care about. 

I like to keep them clean, some clown that lives near me said " You washed that last week, whats the point it will get dirty again". My reply, "do you wipe your arse when you have a shite? Because that to will get dirty again". Never seen him since.

[Noel Tidybeard]

Nosey, overbearing arrogant neighbours....... (of my mate). I recently got hold of the barge SD1 V8 manual (my nirvana) project.... cheap and pretty solid, so all good. Garage/Barn has a major roof issue so on mates drive...... all tidy and it's a presnetable motor, needing a couple of running gear things sorted before I throw it in for the test. No plates of course....... you get them from the gov bods with test and insurance.... so I need to get the work done first. Obviously that will take a bit of time unfortunately as I have a life!

Mates neighbour strolls over to him - (in dodgy belgian french accent please)

 

You cannot leeeeve zat ere......

Why not? It's my drive/parking on my land.

It eeez in view of the hy-way.......

So

No plates - in view of zee hy-way.... is ileeegal. I tell polieez.

 

I've checked - it's bloody true. Although on private land, it can 'be seen' from the road - so MUST be tested, taxed etc.... fuggin nightmare!

 

I pointed out that every single car dealer has unplated motors in plain view and all fall foul of this law, so they could FRO.

 

Awaiting response...... or disappearance of car! Arrogant pricks........

 

 

cover the car- eet cant bee seen from ze highway then hercules poirot!

[tooSavvy]

Merc...

 

If I pulled up behind a [your?] Yank... If eye contact occurred <no doubt with dread in the heart of the Yank helmer> a cheery smile from me.. "Leave a bit in the ground, for me"...

 

That wouldn't offend anyone, Shirley ?

 

 

TS

[cms206]

Driver CPC today. Today's course? Drivers Alcohol Awareness.

 

I've not had a drink since 2005.

 

I want a fucking drink now.

 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

[purplebargeken]

If any consolation can be obtained from how she did it, is that I hope it was instantaneous. So very very sad.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Merc...

If I polled up behind a [your?] Yank... If eye contact occurred <no doubt with dread in the heart of the Yank helmer> a cheery smile from me.. "Leave a bit in the ground, for me"...

That wouldn't offend anyone, Shirley ?TS

Depends who is driving the yank...

 

I have been on the other side though; saw a beautiful Marc W123 coupe. Said to the driver, what a lovely old car, I've got one of those. " what type? " he says.

I tell him mine is a 200 diesel estate He just shrugged and walked off.

 

Ignorant bastard

[Ghosty]

First thing I do when it's dark enough for lights is dip the interior mirror, always have done.

I don’t have a choice but to!

[BavarianRetro]

Depends who is driving the yank...

 

I have been on the other side though; saw a beautiful Marc W123 coupe. Said to the driver, what a lovely old car, I've got one of those. " what type? " he says.

I tell him mine is a 200 diesel estate He just shrugged and walked off.

 

Ignorant bastard

Lovely car, but a W123 200 TD must be the slowest car produced after WW2?

[taxi paul]

I don’t have a choice but to!

Get some of that film from eBay and darken the back windows. Supposed to be easy*to do and cheap. Won't help with mirrors. I don't get it in the jap bus cos high. But in celica or corolla it's a pain.

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Depends who is driving the yank...

 

I have been on the other side though; saw a beautiful Marc W123 coupe. Said to the driver, what a lovely old car, I've got one of those. " what type? " he says.

I tell him mine is a 200 diesel estate He just shrugged and walked off.

 

Ignorant bastard

 

All of my Triumphs have the same effect over here with the cheque book charlies....... they absolutely detest the fact I've done most of the work myself and that certain parts are not standard and none are or ever will be nut and bolt restorations fresh from some 'known' garage or other.

I've found tis usually the arrogant pricks who shamble off muttering about the 'mess' I have made of the car etc... who turn out to be the same ones asking about welding getting done and repairs in my 'spare time' when they find out a lot of the work done wasn't quite as superior as they were expecting/led to believe...... 

[alcyonecorporation]

"Wotsis do to the gallon then" usually was the opener at the Shell station.  

 

After a few of these I just used to lie and say "eight"  

.

 

 

Eight 'your mum's to the drizzle, I hope? 

[Ghosty]

I’m surprised nobody’s developed a RainX type spray for glare.

[alcyonecorporation]

I’m surprised nobody’s developed a RainX type spray for glare.

They have. 

 

It's called RainX. 

[Ghosty]

D'oh

[wuvvum]

Booked to have the Golf dragged away today via removemycar.  Spoke to the scrapyard last week to make the arrangement, had a reminder email from RMC on Friday saying the car would be picked up today between 8 and 5.  You can guess the rest.  FFS. Council are now whinging about it being on the car park, so if I can't get anyone to turn up for it I might have to bite the bullet and tax it and stick it on the road.  The red Rover needs to go ASAP as the council is whinging about that too, but if scrapyards aren't going to turn up when arranged then not sure what I can do.  I have very limited holiday left for this year so can't take any more time off work to sit around like a twat waiting for missed appointments.  I've rung the mobile number for the scrappy and left a voicemail, but not holding my breath for hearing owt back.

[Junkman]

 

 

Point also taken. I have perfected a semi-stoned/baffled stare that I sometimes roll out when people spout dribbling arsecandle. 

He got a bit of that, then I got bored and decided to pay for the fuel in my piss awful dinosaur thing.

 

My whinge really was that despite my pretty strong opinions online, I keep them to myself in person unless someone really is being a jeb end.

I wasn't trying to strike up a conversation with him; I can't say BMW 118ds feature anywhere near the top of my 'cars I'd like to own' list but do you know what? I managed to keep my views to myself.

 

I normally play classic car show bullshit bingo if I take the Piazza anywhere. My record was at Bicester Heritage last year:

 

1. That was supposed to be a Scirocco = x 6

2. Diffs just drop into Chevettes = x 8 

3. That's a Scirocco built under license = x 2 (a new one on me, that). 

4. That's got an Elan engine = x 3 

5. It's front wheel drive (despite staring at a back axle which very obviously had a diff in it) = x 1 

6. It's a Suzuki XT (????!!! and not said in jest) = x 1 

7. Why do you bother (your mum) = x 2

8. My MGB is worth more (yes, and?)  = x 1 

 

There are plenty of cars I'll happily admit to knowing bugger all about - but I'd never try and engage their owners in conversation based on some pub expert gobshite ammo. 

 

Maybe it's just me. 

 

I got mistaken for a vagrant in WHSmith once.

 

 

What you really need is some random 70s septic chod.

In the brief period I had the Green Lean Machine, I was told

 

1. it returns single digit OMGMPG = x 13,783

2. I can't park it anywhere (despite it was parked) = x 16,437.56

3. it doesn't go around corners = x 12.641

4. I can't get parts for it = x I lost count

5. "I had one of them in the olden days" = x roughly the production figure of 2.5 million

6. it can't really shift = x the persons saying it had a diesel

7. it is rare over here = x the persons saying it had obviously no car at all

 

This is in stark contrast to the reactions I got during Rover P6 V8 ownership, which were

 

1. They are shit = x 65.64 million (2016)

[chaseracer]

Try owning a Reliant Scimitar. I used to get TEH FEAR when it needed filling up.

 

Remind me again what you've just acquired...? 

[chaseracer]

This is in stark contrast to the reactions I got during Rover P6 V8 ownership, which were

 

1. They are shit = x 65.64 million (2016)

 

Really?  I could have pulled many times over when I borrowed Mr Conelrad's 3500 for a few days.  All of them 'ladies of a certain age' and mostly in Waitrose car park, but hey...

[Junkman]

Really?  I could have pulled many times over when I borrowed Mr Conelrad's 3500 for a few days.  All of them 'ladies of a certain age' and mostly in Waitrose car park, but hey...

 

1. They are shit = x 65.64 million - 1  (2016)

[Cavcraft]

Booked to have the Golf dragged away today via removemycar.  Spoke to the scrapyard last week to make the arrangement, had a reminder email from RMC on Friday saying the car would be picked up today between 8 and 5.  You can guess the rest.  FFS. Council are now whinging about it being on the car park, so if I can't get anyone to turn up for it I might have to bite the bullet and tax it and stick it on the road.  The red Rover needs to go ASAP as the council is whinging about that too, but if scrapyards aren't going to turn up when arranged then not sure what I can do.  I have very limited holiday left for this year so can't take any more time off work to sit around like a twat waiting for missed appointments.  I've rung the mobile number for the scrappy and left a voicemail, but not holding my breath for hearing owt back.

 

FWIW, if you message/ring removemycar I bet they'd bollock the company and chase them up for you.

[Guest Hooli]

Get a sample of some of that film from eBay and darken the back windows. Supposed to be easy*to do and cheap. Won't help with mirrors. I don't get it in the jap bus cos high. But in celica or corolla it's a pain.

 

Tint the interior mirror

[anonymous user]

Tint the interior mirror

"What's behind me, it's not important."

 

Breaks mirror off and throws it away.

[Guest Hooli]

I said it somewhere else but as an ex-bus/coach/van/7.5t driver interior mirrors are only for looking at cargo.

[dollywobbler]

Lovely car, but a W123 200 TD must be the slowest car produced after WW2?

 

I reckon a 200D auto would still be slower.

[155V6]

I saw an advert for an Alfa SUV today.In the words of Marc & Lard,"No neeeeeed" 

[Noel Tidybeard]

my mate told me once he had someone stood in a bus stop pointing at his car whilst laughing- a metro with the bonnet tied down with rope etc

"what's your problem?"

"have you seen your car?"

"well 2nd class car is better than 1st class bus and i'm not stood in the rain getting wet!"