The grumpy thread

[rainagain]

Getting two tyres fitted right now, there's two garages I normally use one does it for £15 for two tyres but is always busy, the one which I'm in now does it for £20 for two.

 

However I pulled in and said could I get two tyres fitted they said sure. As I got them out the boot I asked if it's still £20, nah he says it's now £30.

[bramz7]

Meant to be getting a car delivered today. Emailed the van driver yesterday to check if today was okay still. Yep.

Not heard anything at all today. I wouldn't normally care but given I've paid £111 for it, I feel a shitty email is in order if I don't hear anything else today.

[HH-R]

Spotted a little dog running round the front garden this morning. Looked out the window to see if it had escaped or if there was the usual ignorant arsehole just letting it shit on my lawn.

 

It was the latter, of course. The owner clocked me but just let it carry on having a piss.

 

Opened the window and said 'This is our garden you know, not a dog toilet.'

'Well I haven't picked it up yet'.

 

Oh, that's alright then.

 

I said that that's not really the point, is it, and asked if I could come and mess all over her garden. Didn't get an answer...

[chaseracer]

[purplebargeken]

Dogs will crap where they are allowed to crap. It's the owner who lets it happen who needs slotting.

 

Fucking new roundabout!!! Nearly taken out yet again. Cunting cunts.

[taxi paul]

My local tyre emporium ,whiche is just a front for shades business types. Fits tyred for a fiver. So you go to oscar tyres in Kirkby get fantastic part worn and then go to him. Takes him for bloody ever to fit them though cos I don't think he knows what he is doing. But has long has you don't mind waiting while he prices part worn tyres for heavily built gentleman in audi q7 or brand new range rovers . It's OK.

[155V6]

I've seen some Volvo seats on eBay,they're collection only from Wallington.I had a look & there are 3 Wallingtons,so messaged the seller & asked for the postcode."Why do you need the postcode?" he says.I told him I needed to know where he was for collection."Collection of what?" he replies.I feel like giving up already 

[purplebargeken]

^^ There is no hope is there.

[somewhatfoolish]

Spotted a little dog running round the front garden this morning. Looked out the window to see if it had escaped or if there was the usual ignorant arsehole just letting it shit on my lawn.

 

It was the latter, of course. The owner clocked me but just let it carry on having a piss.

 

Opened the window and said 'This is our garden you know, not a dog toilet.'

'Well I haven't picked it up yet'.

 

Oh, that's alright then.

 

I said that that's not really the point, is it, and asked if I could come and mess all over her garden. Didn't get an answer...

Follow them home and crimp one off on their front step.

[chodweaver]

Lamb.

 

If I want to pick my dinner out of a pile of shattered bone, I'll go to rural sheep farming land in a third world country where civil war has just broken out, thanks.

 

What do the abattoirs slaughter the poor little blighters with? A Howitzer?

 

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[richardmorris]

Lamb.

If I want to pick my dinner out of a pile of shattered bone, I'll go to rural sheep farming land in a third world country where civil war has just broken out, thanks.

What do the abattoirs slaughter the poor little blighters with? A Howitzer?

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Was it frozen?

My dad had some chops recently via my grandfather's contacts ( pub friends) that he said had obviously been cut when frozen. Nothing wrong with the quality of the meat, but splintered bones etc.

 

Fine for a hot pot though.

[chodweaver]

I wonder. But this was posh organic lamb, so if it has been frozen, I'll feel a bit cheated...

 

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[richardmorris]

Being brought up in Wales I am always amazed that New Zealand lamb is cheaper here.

 

Little blighters are all over the place round here- Windsor farm shop sells it for twice what they pay the farmer.

[DodgeRover]

Son in trouble at school again, busking for money is not allowed on school grounds at lunchtime we did wonder why he was suddenly so keen to take his guitar to school.

 

Top marks (unofficially from me) for being enterprising and having the bottle to perform in front of people though. Sadly the school won't try to build on this though.

[beko1987]

I've seen some Volvo seats on eBay,they're collection only from Wallington.I had a look & there are 3 Wallingtons,so messaged the seller & asked for the postcode."Why do you need the postcode?" he says.I told him I needed to know where he was for collection."Collection of what?" he replies.I feel like giving up already

I get that a fair bit

 

"it says aylesbury, I'm in aylesbury"

"yes, but where in aylesbury?"

"wing"

 

 

Fuck off then with your £3 hoover...

[chodweaver]

But it makes him a shoe in for when they wake up and start their own 'live lounge' venue or whatever is down with the kids these days. Also, he can busk OUTSIDE the school, right?

 

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[MrDuke]

Being brought up in Wales I am always amazed that New Zealand lamb is cheaper here.

 

Not quite as amazing as the fact that Chinese slate is cheaper here than ours. We don't even have to feed it, FFS.

[Eddie Honda]

Also, he can busk OUTSIDE the school, right?

 

This. Knowing where one property ends and another starts. Reminds me of this Sherpachod classic.

 

[Video]

[Lankytim]

I’ve delivered lorry loads of slate from Brazil to factories in mid Wales where slate is literally in giant piles everywhere. How the hell does that work?

 

Not quite as amazing as the fact that Chinese slate is cheaper here than ours. We don't even have to feed it, FFS.

[M'coli]

This. Knowing where one property ends and another starts. Reminds me of this Sherpachod classic.

 

[Video]

Mark Thomas' stuff was/is excellent.

[beko1987]

I've never seen that before, that's hilarious!

[Eddie Honda]

I'm a bit grumpy as missing from that edit is this line:
 
Mark Thomas [on stage] "You heard McDonald's told us to get off their pavement, so we wrote to Wandsworth Council and asked them, and guess what? They told a McFib."
 

Mark Thomas‏ @markthomasinfo

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At Ealing gig the manager from Wandsworth McDonalds in the audience, 17 years ago I drove a tank through his drive through. Lovely bloke.

1:17 AM - 30 Mar 2013

 

Also grumpy as I pause to think, "that was 21 years ago now"

[PhilA]

I pass a school on my way to work. It's the next street over so not very far away.

School morning means a tripling of traffic, and as such every day at letting in and letting out there's a 25 mph zone set up and a prehistoric sheriff's deputy standing at the junction, "directing" traffic.

 

There's a behemoth coming down the street having dropped little D'Rat or Tarquin or whatever children are being named these days so the cop ambles backwards into my lane and gives a cursory palm towards me before waving the traffic through.

 

He then sees a small gap in the traffic coming so ushers me through. I'm not expecting this so try to put the car in first. But, it's a Renault and the gearbox is cold, the clutch is doing it's usual dragging bearing BS and I'm fighting to get it to engage first. Second-first slam isn't working.

 

Cop begins to wave his arms frantically, like I'm ignoring him. I can see his face beginning to screw up and turn puce. It'll be only a short period of time before he starts shouting at me. Finally, gear decides to engage and I make progress, being scowled at by the cop.

 

Total elapsed time? Maybe a second and a half

 

FFS people, patience.

 

Phil

[dave21478]

It's a repeat grump so press fast forward if not interested.

Has the law changed? Are carparks now motorway speed limit? Why the FUCK do people need to go so fast in them?

I pulled into the supermarché just in time for the pointy fingers shouty aftermath of a crash. Not a bump, a proper smash... Two cars had hit hard enough to probably write them both off - one certainly had all it's airbags blown...and one had hit a third parked car hard enough to shunt it forwards into the flower bed.

 

Conforming to stereotype the speeding car was an Audi with big wheels driven by a powerfully built company director type.

[D Spares & Tyres]

It'll be only a short period of time before he starts shouting at me.

Phil

Did you mean to type 'shooting'?

 

( american cop generalisation )

[xtriple]

My grump at the moment is me. I am not really doing well in the head department at all (young women mess with your swede shocker!   ) and I have something to do that REALLY needs doing, like urgently or I am going to be in deep doggy doo-doo. I have so far put it off for 5 weeks!

 

If I don't do it before next Monday, my world will/could/might, fall into a massive black hole never to be seen again. However, I have no interest in actually getting off my arse and doing it. Apathy: a way of life for life's winners!

[PhilA]

Did you mean to type 'shooting'?

( american cop generalisation )

Too much paperwork when on school duty.

 

Phil

[Snipes]

It's a repeat grump so press fast forward if not interested.

Has the law changed? Are carparks now motorway speed limit? Why the FUCK do people need to go so fast in them?

I pulled into the supermarché just in time for the pointy fingers shouty aftermath of a crash. Not a bump, a proper smash... Two cars had hit hard enough to probably write them both off - one certainly had all it's airbags blown...and one had hit a third parked car hard enough to shunt it forwards into the flower bed.

 

Conforming to stereotype the speeding car was an Audi with big wheels driven by a powerfully built company director type.

 

My grump is people ignoring road markings in supermarkets. I don't just mean bad parking in bays I mean full on ignoring give-way lines or, tonight, driving straight at me on the wrong side of the road. He then complained at being beeped. How can you complain when you've just driven straight another car while on the wrong side of the road?

[bramz7]

The thing I noticed with supermarkets is that if there's a roundabout within the car park and you don't take the first exit, people still pull out in front of you.

At least I know to expect it now.

[gordonbennet]

It's a repeat grump so press fast forward if not interested.

Has the law changed? Are carparks now motorway speed limit? Why the FUCK do people need to go so fast in them?

I pulled into the supermarché just in time for the pointy fingers shouty aftermath of a crash. Not a bump, a proper smash... Two cars had hit hard enough to probably write them both off - one certainly had all it's airbags blown...and one had hit a third parked car hard enough to shunt it forwards into the flower bed.

 

Conforming to stereotype the speeding car was an Audi with big wheels driven by a powerfully built company director type.

 

Couldn't agree more, its a bastarding car park, there's people wandering about as people do.

 

Number of times some twerp is jammed right up me arse as i drive through at a sensible speed, number of times the same twerp has to take about 9 shunts to get his massive penis extension in an effin space and number of times when you come back past his car is on the piss and looks like it's broke down.

 

Last week in the supermarket me and another bloke could hardly believe the utter pigs ear some bugger was making of abandoning his brand new XC60/90 whatever it was bloody great Volvo in a space, seriously you could have got a weekly shop through the checkout by the time this pillock had finished.