The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

Jimmy Tarbuck is as funny as a fucking school bus crash. Another 'pro-celebrity' Scouser who wouldn't live there if they gave the houses away.

[cobblers]

This morning about half 6 I was driving to work, it was fucking awful on the roads - Absolutely white over with ice, everywhere. I've never known anything like it. I slipped on my arse crossing the road to get in my car!

Usually I bomb it to work because it's windy country lanes all the way, but obviously this morning I was going fairly steady.

Still 35/40mph which TBH was faster than I should have been going in hindsight (but in my defense it was that frosty ice not the shiny ice).

 

I was gingerly plodding along about 40mph on onr of the straights when some complete brain donor in a mk6 Golf started to tailgate me!

 

I was honestly in two minds about just stopping the car dead and blocking the road completely, but he was so close and there was so little grip that any unexpected braking would 100% definitely have caused him to run into the back of me. I thought better of it and continued and this car just stayed stuck right to my bumper for a couple of miles.

 

The most infuriating bit is I've been stuck behind this prick on the way to work a few times before, and you know what? On a sunny dry morning they'll do 45MPH tops down that same NSL road. There's no words to describe people like that

[EssDeeWon]

^^ Those are the people that don't adjust their driving for various driving conditions.  They drive the same speed and tailgate in rain, snow and shine.  The type of people that do 80mph in the outside lane on a dry summers day and also do 80mph in the outside lane in heavy rain with piss all visibility.

[M'coli]

They're the same sort of people who look at you in disbelief if you ask them to run down that icy road but because their car has ABS, traction control and the like think that all that gubbins will automatically generate grip no matter what the conditions.

[Kiltox]

Some absolute fucking waste of skin stole my Sky broadband router from the back of my car.

 

A completely worthless paperweight they provide free to their customers and that as far as I know doesn't work on any other service

 

Fucking unbelievable.

[bub2006]

Do fat people have friends? (I realise I may be pushing this joke a bit now )

No. We don't and no narrow isles as I struggle to get my viscount, blu ribands and penguins enough already

[Pillock]

Some absolute fucking waste of skin stole my Sky broadband router from the back of my car.

 

A completely worthless paperweight they provide free to their customers and that as far as I know doesn't work on any other service

 

Fucking unbelievable.

They'll be trying to flog it to Cash Converters tomorrow for £20 because it must be valuable, it's got computery stuff on it.

 

Cash Converters will tell them to jog on as they come free with a box of frosties, so it'll be in the skip then.

 

Arseholes.

[Tamworthbay]

No. We don't and no narrow isles as I struggle to get my viscount, blu ribands and penguins enough already

You ain't fat mate, by my local standards you are more likely to be classed as Belsen survivor.

[BavarianRetro]

Supermarkets have "aisles". "Isles" are areas completely surrounded by water - islands

[chaseracer]

No. We don't and no narrow isles as I struggle to get my viscount, blu ribands and penguins enough already

 

Yes, you do - us porkers gotta stick together!  Not literally, obvs...

[Tamworthbay]

Supermarkets have "aisles". "Isles" are areas completely surrounded by water - islands

Life has people, internet has pedants

[Tamworthbay]

Move to Tamworth lads, you will been taken in and force fed custard creams on account of being skinnies.

[BavarianRetro]

I was a pedant before the internet existed.

[chaseracer]

An etymological query, if I may: is it "smart-arse" with a hyphen, or "smartarse" without? 

[BavarianRetro]

Better to be smart than just an arse.

[richardmorris]

Depends whether you have a smart arse or are a smart arse. I like the way private eye has now decided on pedantry corner after years of pedants' (of which I was a published contributor) corner as there were too many letters about missing or misplaced apostrophes.

[cort16]

I'm not sure grammar and spelling being 100% is really necessary for a car forum about shite old cars.

As long as your not using txt speak you're posts are fine by me.

[michael1703]

^

 

Wot e sed

[Cavcraft]

This morning about half 6 I was driving to work, it was fucking awful on the roads - Absolutely white over with ice, everywhere. I've never known anything like it. I slipped on my arse crossing the road to get in my car!

Usually I bomb it to work because it's windy country lanes all the way, but obviously this morning I was going fairly steady.

Still 35/40mph which TBH was faster than I should have been going in hindsight (but in my defense it was that frosty ice not the shiny ice).

 

I was gingerly plodding along about 40mph on onr of the straights when some complete brain donor in a mk6 Golf started to tailgate me!

 

I was honestly in two minds about just stopping the car dead and blocking the road completely, but he was so close and there was so little grip that any unexpected braking would 100% definitely have caused him to run into the back of me. I thought better of it and continued and this car just stayed stuck right to my bumper for a couple of miles.

 

The most infuriating bit is I've been stuck behind this prick on the way to work a few times before, and you know what? On a sunny dry morning they'll do 45MPH tops down that same NSL road. There's no words to describe people like that

 

I love people like that, just slowly decrease your speed in increments of about 3mph at a time. When you get to where you're turning off make a point of accelerating like mad to show him you were just going slow to annoy him.

[omegod]

Jimmy Tarbuck is as funny as a fucking school bus crash. Another 'pro-celebrity' Scouser who wouldn't live there if they gave the houses away.

 

 

He's also a convicted criminal, Terry Thomas the 60's cad, supposedly promised him a spot in his show in Liverpool then reneged so Tarby stole some stuff off him including a gold lighter, Tarby did some time for it I believe ! Regardless, he's a complete twat!

[cobblers]

If pushed I'd rather annoy someone than anger them.

Instead of driving mega slow and turn it all road ragey, I just drive like I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going, and indicate and slow down a bit for turns I don't end up taking, then position myself all wrong aiming at a roundabout then wait and miss a few gaps before pulling out quite slowly etc.

For some reason the idea of some bellend getting incredibly frustrated with me thinking I'm an absolute idiot is much more satisfying than someone knowing I'm trying to wind them up and getting angry about it. Perhaps it's because I'm less likely to get punched in the head, I dunno.

[AMC Rebel]

Captive audience. Oil light comes on on the motorway, where else are you going to get some more? I believe the best laugh is pulling into one with a service station and asking for a tyre price.

Are there some with Tyre bays?  Genuine question - I can't think I've ever seen one (in the UK), but it turns out I don't know everything

[cort16]

I had a someone who I seemed to fall into the same commute cycle as who would drive 6 inches from my back bumper no matter what speed I went at but when the road was clear and I'd slow down so they could get past they wouldn't over take. I don't know if it was nerves or something but it just seemed to be how they drove. MEGA annoying.

[AMC Rebel]

Some absolute fucking waste of skin stole my Sky broadband router from the back of my car.

 

A completely worthless paperweight they provide free to their customers and that as far as I know doesn't work on any other service

 

Fucking unbelievable.

 

Sympathy.  Back in the day some bellend stole my sister's car radio so I go her one of the ones with a removeable front.  She probably still has the front bit - which was being dutifully kept in her house when some scrote nicked the other bit WTF use was that?

 

I know I bang on about it here, but we put up with a level of "petty" thieving in the UK that would be considered an outrage in many other countries.

[Bren]

Another incident inside a prison.

 

On the same day, hand wringing liberals Nick Clegg and Jacqui Smith have called for the prison population to be cut in half.

 

There is a reason so many people are in prison.

 

They have obviously never gone downstairs at 3am and found some bloke in a ski mask and holding a machete wanting the keys to their Audi Q7.

[gordonbennet]

Ah Cobblers yes..

 

When one is trying to get a far too powerful* lorry moving at roundabouts, and committed across the road more or less blocking it, but because for some fuck nose why reason the road safety* planners design blind roundabouts, so didn't see a car approaching at warp factor 6 and without indicating is slewing right trying desperately to push the tyres off the rims...should say at this point one's crystal ball has run out of charge long ago...well sometimes a lorries presence baulking such important progress causes a massive blast on the hooter.

 

At which point  one may actually stop dead because its possible one has not seen someone who'se stuffed half under said lorry hence the hooting, so once stopped one looks all around for the source of danger, everywhere that is except at the bod with the horn (you never lock eyes or acknowledge them being there), once safe to proceed is re-established ones shrug one's shoulders and carries on.

Apparently.

[bub2006]

Feel free to tell me if what I have done is wrong or I could have done things differently please as I can't see a fault. I was at a junction in Nottingham tonight in a lwb sprinter. Indicating right but cannot pull out as traffic in the road Im wanting to enter is stationary due to rail crossing barrier being down and a keep clear sign painted on the road. About 20 seconds after me waiting at the junction, the car behind started pipping an revving up. Then decided to go onto the wrong side of the road and next to bollard on my right hand side to call me a Fucking wanker and nobhead then wheelspun out of the junction from the wrong side of the road and went left. Way I saw it was my road wasn't clear so I couldn't safely pull out let alone go anywhere. Right pissed me off and I've been racking my brains how I could have done different.

[Lacquer Peel]

Nothing you should have done differently. Dickheads be dickheads.

[martybabes]

I'm not sure grammar and spelling being 100% is really necessary for a car forum about shite old cars.

As long as your not using txt speak you're posts are fine by me.

 

Very good - I see what you did there.

[155V6]

The Halifax

To cut a long story short,I paid 2 weeks wages into their ATM Tuesday night as I can't always get to the branch during opening hours.The money is not in my account yet as due to a problem, they can't get into the machine from inside the branch.I've already had to cancel a couple of standing orders which are due to go out tomorrow,also the mortgage needs paying.This looks like being a fun Christmas if they can't sort it out tomorrow