The grumpy thread

[MarvinsMom]

http://autoshite.com/

thank you....

 

now i've not seen that before.

 

is it new?

[Pillock]

It took me ages* to find that Craphouse forum. 

Hang on, I'm getting "Ages" and "12 seconds" confused again. That's not happened since my Plenty of Fish profile used to say I can last ages in bed.

 

Quite a good idea, IMHO. Didn't realise it was there, but it's a nice way of dropping a crap thread out of the forum without it just being locked on the main forum, taking up space.

[beko1987]

Really magnificent beginning to Christmas Eve.

 

Woke up early to get ourselves organised for a busy day and to get to the butcher to collect meaty goodness before Christmas siege begins. Thought we'd start off by picking our vegetable bag up from the farm.

 

Lovely juicy pothole, full of water so invisible. Expensive sounding noise followed very soon by severely compromised handling.

 

IMAG8437.jpg

 

Very fuck.

 

Ok, never mind. I have a spare and all the necessaries to effect a swap, including, for once, the locking wheel bolt key. All good.

 

Crouch down in the horrible bloody mud, jack up, wheel off, smashing.

 

IMAG8438.jpg

 

Inner sidewall has borne the brunt of it and the tyre - brand new 2000 miles ago - is scrap. The wheel itself looks alright - I was expecting a big old crack but appears alright - though no doubt it's nicely egg-shaped now.

 

OK, on with the spare. But, what's this? Shit. The hopeless aluminium Audi jack is beginning to buckle and the car has dropped by about an inch. Not enough clearance to get the spare on, and I really don't want to attempt to put the jack under even more strain.

 

Slightly more fuck.

 

We're on a country road, last car that passed was five minutes ago. Home is an hour's walk away but I really don't want to RAC for something like this. All we can do is hope somebody passes soon.

 

Three minutes later, a Merc E320D estate approaches and I flag it down. I recognise the owner as a customer from my old job. I ask her ever so politely, if she's not in too much of a rush, might I borrow her jack for five minutes?

 

"I don't even know if this car has a jack"

 

"Ha! Don't worry, I know your car. It had a jack last time I saw it"

 

It did, and it does. A nice, thick black metal affair that you could probably lift a Unimog with. Did the job nicely. Jacked up 'close' to the approved jacking point, kicked the horribly distorted Audi jack away, on with the wheel, car down, tightened bolts, lovely.

 

Jack tidily re-installed in Merc, exchanged Xmas pleasantries. If you're reading this - thanks again. You're good people.

 

IMAG8439.jpg

 

So, I'm now back on a 1998 Dunlop, and can expect a sizeable bill after Christmas. I also have cold, dirty fingers, manky nails, muddy jeans and will likely have twisted and strained all kinds of muscles because I tend to work on cars in horribly awkward ways.

 

On a totally different note, for my new job I have to appear to give a toss about social media. If anybody on here would care to follow me on Twitter @RoadworkUK It wouldn't go amiss, and would help my ego no end...

 

Merry Xmas!

Bah humbug indeed! I'll follow you later

[myglaren]

My eldest has delayed coming up from that London today until tomorrow - last time it took him 18 hours.

Can't see tomorrow being any better though.

And his windscreen was smashed by a pheasant.  He is near Durham so almost here now.

[myglaren]

And his windscreen was smashed by a pheasant.  He is near Durham so almost here now.

He called his insurance company - closed for Christmas.

He got through to a facilitator for the insurance company who were fairly clueless but eventually said they could get it done...

 

 

 

For £8,000 

 

They also said when he told them to stuff it that he would be driving illegally.

He said that the fine was only £60 and the police would recover his car for him.

[hairymel]

 

 

...They also said ... that he would be driving illegally....

 

 

since when has it been illegal to not have a windscreen?

[hairnet]

it isnt

 

http://www.nopenaltypoints.co.uk/defectpenaltiesifstoppedbythepolice.html

 

only if glass problem washers no working or wipers not wiping or smashed and visibillty is aproblem

 

none means you can see

 

theres no screen no defect - bikes do without so can cars

[tooSavvy]

^^^

 

I recall being behind two 'lads'* in an Escort xr3i - with no glass at all. Going across the Byker Bridge.

 

They both had skidlids on....

 

*might have been girls.

 

 

TS

[myglaren]

it isnt

 

http://www.nopenaltypoints.co.uk/defectpenaltiesifstoppedbythepolice.html

 

only if glass problem washers no working or wipers not wiping or smashed and visibillty is aproblem

 

none means you can see

 

theres no screen no defect - bikes do without so can cars

It is smashed but still in place, much glass shards in the car.

 

He's only just got the car back, it has been at the dealers for three months getting the windscreen wipers fixed - they had to bring someone from the factory in Spain to fix it in the end.

Seat Leon Cupra, a year old. 

[richardmorris]

Picked up a stone chip in the Mercedes this morning, over by the tax disc area. Not too bad though and I've moved my NT badge to cover it. This car seems to attract them - had none in the previous daily vehicles at all, now two in the same year.

[Richard]

I know that non-square presents are a pain in the arse to wrap, yet every year I manage to buy something that's a stupid shape- this year it's a Lindt Maxi Ball. Why do I never learn?

[richardmorris]

I keep packaging from work for this reason- umbrellas and footballs and bottles of Benedictine are easy peasy!

[MarvinsMom]

pos cowin' fuggin' boiler keeps on tripping out.

 

and this is inspite (because of?) me getting the fitter out to it twice last week. cleaned it out and blown through the "oxygen sensor" into the burner thing and guess what, it works a treat when the fitter is hear, but on a night that is another matter.

 

now i know that the gas board have got a road dug up near by and it windy, BUT there is something not right with it.

 

i have been able to reset it/swear at it/coax it back into action but you know as well as i do, tomorrow it won't work at all, so i hope that the emersion heater and the gas fire will still work.

 

fuckin' Baxi what a wanky fucking turd of a thing its been, the ruddy thing is a pain in the arse from new and is only getting worse so i guess i'm going to need a new boiler in the new year too.

[FakeConcern]

Can we have a "commiserate" button for this thread please? I don't need to reply to each post, but there are loads I want to show that I'm thinking of them in in one way or another, but "like" is not appropriate.

[Eddie Honda]

Instead of a "commiserate" button, how about "Do I Not Like That" button instead?

[MrDuke]

Instead of a "commiserate" button, how about "Do I Not Like That" button instead?

Or simply copy & paste this image:

[Doctormop]

My useless fucked-up brain can actually do one, I'm sick to death of it. Had a properly nasty episode this afternoon which left me shaking uncontrollably, I actually thought I was going to fully lose it with a total stranger for absolutely no valid reason whatsoever, and had I done so I would've ended up in serious bother. The situation didn't involve me in the slightest, but an obnoxious raised voice was all it took for the red mist to come down. So now it seems that I can't even trust myself to be alone in public, fantastic.

I know that seems like a dumb thing compared to other people's real problems, but it's another step down the tunnel for me. I couldn't mention it to Mrs_Duke as she's already worried sick about me doing something awful (to myself, admittedly) and I had to put it down somewhere.

As you were.

Mr. Duke, nothing about your post and a later one that I can't be arsed quoting seems trivial compared to a recognized 'physical disability'

I remember a post of yours from years ago stating that you went home from work unwell and didn't go back, that's how I feel at the moment, I will struggle on as long as I can but, when the inevitable happens I will have given it my best shot and held out for as long as possible, I will go through changes and deal with each stage as best I can, at the moment I'm 3 weeks into a job I hate, have a seriously ill Father and a brother who is as much use as an inflatable anchor but with the help of my Wife and a worryingly small number of others who care I will do the best I can, not sure what my best is worth but please accept my sincere thanks for helping me to see that I am not alone.

Apologies for the self pitying tone above which annoys me greatly, have a riddle to take your mind of it.

What's long and thin, covered in skin, red in parts and goes in tarts?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Give up?

 

Rhubarb.

[Skut]

Arghhhh I want some bed. Wee man and g friend have nabbed it all after he decided his bed is not up to his standards.

[Eddie Honda]

LOL Skit.

 

I'm just hutting the hay in the spare bed in the wee man's room. Mrs H crashed out on top and across bed still in jacket...

[billyboy406v6]

Well that was a crap Christmas Day !

[bangernomics]

Merry Christmas

[Mr_Bo11ox]

A 'commiserate' button? Please god no. 'A forum for discussing old cars and serious illnesses/deaths of acquaintances'

[jakebullet]

Well that's an unexpected Christmas present. The shits n a bleeding arse.

[Eddie Honda]

Hence "Do I not like that".

 

"What do you think of Vauxhalls on PCP?"

 

Turniphead: "Do I not like that"

 

[MarvinsMom]

top of the pops at christmas,

 

what a load of terrible, tone deaf, talentless noise polluters.

 

now i know that at my age i'm not supposed to be down with the kids (and happily i am not for the record)

 

but even so, this is a load of crap, no wonder Top of The Pop's got cancelled,.

[jakebullet]

Bonus grumps. Had to cut short visit to kinky's cos a calliper decided to stick. N idiot sister who hates me has unexpectedly bought a present. Shame I didn't.  Ooops.

[Bucketeer]

Can we have a "commiserate" button for this thread please? I don't need to reply to each post, but there are loads I want to show that I'm thinking of them in in one way or another, but "like" is not appropriate.

 

I like the juxtaposition of the above quote and its author's username FakeConcern.

[chaseracer]

FFS - George Michael, now...?

[bub2006]

Say what now

[M'coli]

Tracey Ullman's still not funny.