The grumpy thread

[Sheefag]

I went to Choccywoccydoodah in Brighton a couple of years back, after having a double chocolate cake and a hot chocolate in the place i thought i was going to die, we went into the Pretty Green shop next door and accidentally farted, i seriously nearly shat myself, gased out the shop and made this random lady gag as she came into the shop after me. I was pretty proud of that.

 

And they say, romance is dead?

[richardmorris]

I think the horses should get medals as well as the riders!

[daveb47]

Just discovered that my local mot place has closed.

Got to find another tame one now.

Bugger...

[Sheefag]

Try this number Dave - 0303 123 9999

[danthecapriman]

This pissed me off big time!

 

I spent hours the other day washing, T cutting and polishing my Transit. Next to it is parked the Mercury, it too was washed and polished recently. Both were looking glorious, clean and shiny.

 

So imagine my rage when I notice something fluttering down from the sky! I thought it was a feather at first then looked up and there were literally millions of these black/grey things falling out the sky. I looked closer and it's fucking ash!

Some complete cunt head is burning massive amounts of paper in their garden near me. You can actually still read the print on some bits of it.

It's absolutely everywhere outside, all over the decking and garden table. Oh yes, and all over my beautifully clean cars!!

Why don't people think about wtf they're doing? If it was that bad over my house it must of been horrendous over theirs. I'm not sure your meant to be burning stuff like that in your garden anyway, not exactly garden waste is it!?

 

I'll have to go out later and try to dust it all off with some soft rags.

[Supernaut]

Got the E36 alloy wheels for sale on Scumtree. I got a text asking if the car was for sale too.

 

I couldn't help but reply with "...no."

 

IF THE CAR WAS FOR SALE I'D HAVE AN AD FOR THE FUCKING CAR. HNNNNGGGG DUUUURRR *belm*

[Sheefag]

I'll have to go out later and try to dust it all off with some soft rags.

 

Keep a couple back for yerself Dan!

[Captain Furious]

Council have resurfaced one of the roads on my route to work during the day with 10 gazillion stones, this is usually the pre-curser to them doing half the roads in the county within days of each other, barely leaving a single route where one can avoid stone chip and tar spot misery

 

Is it really too stretching on the budget to run a roller over the top afterwards?

[purplebargeken]

Fucking knobbing cunt of a knee/calf/ankle is hurting like a bastard, walking is bloody difficult and very obviously shit.

 

So why every 5 minutes have I got to get up to sort various things out? Why??

[Timewaster]

Caprimandan, perfect excuse to buy leaf blower. They're fun.

[dave21478]

Council have resurfaced one of the roads on my route to work during the day with 10 gazillion stones, this is usually the pre-curser to them doing half the roads in the county within days of each other, barely leaving a single route where one can avoid stone chip and tar spot misery

 

Is it really too stretching on the budget to run a roller over the top afterwards?

oh yeah.

 

High summer?

Peak tourism season?

Best repair* all the local roads by spray painting some piss-thin wet tar on then dump thousands of tons of gravel on it, spread it out a little and fuck off calling it job done, leaving the traffic to press the gravel down and eventually push the excess to the verge and middle of the road. 

All the cyclists and motorbike riders coming to the area for their summer holidays love* riding twisty country roads on loose gravel, and everyone who slightly cares about their cars loves* stone chips and tar splashes.

 

Its almost as good as the guys doing spot repairs on potholes who roam around in a transit tipper with a pile of tar in the back. When they see a pothole they just stop in the middle of the fucking road, no signs, no traffic control, not even a guy waving traffic to slow down.....You come round a corner at a reasonable speed and almost bowl over some fanny standing in the road leaning on a shovel or plow into their truck and they scream at you like its your fault.

They then "repair" the pothole by not bothering to clean out the debris in the bottm or the loose edges, throw in a lump of tar and pat it down with the back of the shovel, leaving it slightly proud of the surface and fuck off to the next one. This gets immediately squidged out of the hole by the next car to drive over it, leaving the surface even lumpier than it was before. 

 

Both are a total waste of time and money, yet they do it every year without fail. 

[Cavcraft]

/\

Amen, as a cyclist it's a bastard when they 'mend' the roads like that.

[chaseracer]

Tried to paint a bit of the Kia bumper where the paint had flaked off. Total mess, wish i had not bothered.

 

In a fit of misguided enthusiasm, I recently attacked the Blingo (not a straight panel on it; many small dents/scratches and one big'un) with a hairysole of Halfrauds' finest* Mediterranean Blue.  Actually looks a lot better, as long as you don't get closer than 6ft...

[jakebullet]

Discovered external door handle not working on the disco. Took door card off to find linkage has dropped off for no obvious reason. Simples* just need to push plastic clip back in and clip the link into it. An hour later my hands are cut to fuck and I'm no closer. Turns out you've got to pretty much strip the door to get enough room to reattach the fucker. Bet the locking motor dies next week now I've had it all apart.

[STUNO]

oh yeah.

 

High summer?

Peak tourism season?

Best repair* all the local roads by spray painting some piss-thin wet tar on then dump thousands of tons of gravel on it, spread it out a little and fuck off calling it job done, leaving the traffic to press the gravel down and eventually push the excess to the verge and middle of the road. 

All the cyclists and motorbike riders coming to the area for their summer holidays love* riding twisty country roads on loose gravel, and everyone who slightly cares about their cars loves* stone chips and tar splashes.

 

Its almost as good as the guys doing spot repairs on potholes who roam around in a transit tipper with a pile of tar in the back. When they see a pothole they just stop in the middle of the fucking road, no signs, no traffic control, not even a guy waving traffic to slow down.....You come round a corner at a reasonable speed and almost bowl over some fanny standing in the road leaning on a shovel or plow into their truck and they scream at you like its your fault.

They then "repair" the pothole by not bothering to clean out the debris in the bottm or the loose edges, throw in a lump of tar and pat it down with the back of the shovel, leaving it slightly proud of the surface and fuck off to the next one. This gets immediately squidged out of the hole by the next car to drive over it, leaving the surface even lumpier than it was before. 

 

Both are a total waste of time and money, yet they do it every year without fail. 

 

 

I thought my own beloved country was just about alone in doing this type of "repair" seems the only difference is that they use bigger stones here. Yes, I do have windscreen cover.

[BorniteIdentity]

This both irritated and amused me in equal measure yesterday.

 

I should first declare a personal interest in this, as my niece has cerebral palsy and uses both a chair and a mobility scooter.

 

But.

 

Why oh why does this van need TEN POINT THREE METERS of space left behind it?  I, better than many, understand that at times you need a little more space when you have a wheel chair.

 

But you don't need a runway.  Nor do you need more length than the actual vehicle itself left clear.

 

I honestly believe signs like this are really unhelpful.  I can't be the only person who looks at it and laughs.  It's just "noise".  

 

Let's just think about that.  10.3 meters.

 

 

wtAf

 

[STUNO]

^^^^^^ The sign has been changed from a generous 12 feet clearance to the obvious metric equivalent 10.3 metres.

Or something

[Mr_Bo11ox]

10.3 is very specific, is 10m no good then? 'Oh shit I need to back up by 0.3m'

[castros_bro]

This?

 

[Tamworthbay]

Or this?

[vulgalour]

Wow, just had the most aggressive cold call ever.  First chap was nice enough, asking to speak to a business and politely informed we're not a business, this seems to happen a lot, our number is similar to a local business somewhere.  He went into a spiel about how he can halve my line rental and I again politely decline, he says something incomprehensible because the line goes all funny and I have this new, aggressive person unable to understand I don't want to sign up to a new contract for a phone line based on the strength of a cold call presumably from India (going by accents, could easily have been Bradford or Sheffield, really).  He got so aggressive about my refusal to do something stupid I hung up.

 

I was more surprised than anything at how hard the sell was that I didn't think to hang up sooner.  Sort of like telephone rubbernecking, I just couldn't believe someone would be so balls out mental when representing a company trying to get customers.  It was bizarre.

[oldcars]

In a fit of misguided enthusiasm, I recently attacked the Blingo (not a straight panel on it; many small dents/scratches and one big'un) with a hairysole of Halfrauds' finest* Mediterranean Blue.  Actually looks a lot better, as long as you don't get closer than 6ft...

For my effort to look good you would need be be in a different postcode.

[panhard65]

Wow, just had the most aggressive cold call ever.  First chap was nice enough, asking to speak to a business and politely informed we're not a business, this seems to happen a lot, our number is similar to a local business somewhere.  He went into a spiel about how he can halve my line rental and I again politely decline, he says something incomprehensible because the line goes all funny and I have this new, aggressive person unable to understand I don't want to sign up to a new contract for a phone line based on the strength of a cold call presumably from India (going by accents, could easily have been Bradford or Sheffield, really).  He got so aggressive about my refusal to do something stupid I hung up.

 

I was more surprised than anything at how hard the sell was that I didn't think to hang up sooner.  Sort of like telephone rubbernecking, I just couldn't believe someone would be so balls out mental when representing a company trying to get customers.  It was bizarre.

Tell me about it cold callers to businesses are really doing my head in. They just will not take no for an answer I just had some woman on the phone trying to get me to move my phone line and broardband. I told her my crappy contract want 400 quid to swap even though it only has 6 months to run. No problem she says we would cover it and credit your account (instead of paying it direct to me in cash). When I tell her that I am not prepared to pay the 400 quid and wait a year or two to be paid back she got really stroppy and would not take no for an answer, so I hung up on her. Unfortunatly all these wonderful consumer rights are only for private individuals and the sharks can get away with hassling businesses. Another favourite is charity muggers who call up saying I agreed to sponsor them and the bill is now due. I never donate or sponsor any charities so know it is a lie, but I expect that they catch no end out where the accounts departments will just pay up assuming it's been authorised. I could moan for hours about the joys of running a small business.

[purplebargeken]

If our landline rings it is usually a bunch of wankers from India insisting we tell them which brand of TV or internet provider we have. Ben swears at them in Hindi, Rita sings to them in Hindi (scary) and I tell them that they have come through to the international fraud department of the Met Police. 

[anonymous user]

This both irritated and amused me in equal measure yesterday.

 

I should first declare a personal interest in this, as my niece has cerebral palsy and uses both a chair and a mobility scooter.

 

But.

 

Why oh why does this van need TEN POINT THREE METERS of space left behind it? I, better than many, understand that at times you need a little more space when you have a wheel chair.

 

But you don't need a runway. Nor do you need more length than the actual vehicle itself left clear.

 

I honestly believe signs like this are really unhelpful. I can't be the only person who looks at it and laughs. It's just "noise".

 

Let's just think about that. 10.3 meters.

 

10.3m.jpg

 

wtAf

I suspect it's a misprint and it's meant to say 10' or 3m

[Mr A Lawrence]

Tell me about it cold callers to businesses are really doing my head in. They just will not take no for an answer I just had some woman on the phone trying to get me to move my phone line and broardband. I told her my crappy contract want 400 quid to swap even though it only has 6 months to run. No problem she says we would cover it and credit your account (instead of paying it direct to me in cash). When I tell her that I am not prepared to pay the 400 quid and wait a year or two to be paid back she got really stroppy and would not take no for an answer, so I hung up on her. Unfortunatly all these wonderful consumer rights are only for private individuals and the sharks can get away with hassling businesses. Another favourite is charity muggers who call up saying I agreed to sponsor them and the bill is now due. I never donate or sponsor any charities so know it is a lie, but I expect that they catch no end out where the accounts departments will just pay up assuming it's been authorised. I could moan for hours about the joys of running a small business.

  

If our landline rings it is usually a bunch of wankers from India insisting we tell them which brand of TV or internet provider we have. Ben swears at them in Hindi, Rita sings to them in Hindi (scary) and I tell them that they have come through to the international fraud department of the Met Police.

 

[Captain Furious]

If its my mobile and I don't know the number I don't bother answering.  Then put it into google and see what the internet has to say about it - any bad form and it goes into the blocked list

Witheld numbers, just cancel the call

I Don't answer the home phone either, quite frankly I don't even want a landline but for some preposterous reason you cannot get broadband without one.  Only person that has the number is my mum, because, well, you kinda have to give them your number or they get all angsty.  So unless its her then its a no as well 

 

Not had problems with a cold caller in ages now..

[fordperv]

A minor grump I bloody hate gardening, I've had to do front and back gardens today, hedges, weeding, digging over and lawn, i take my hat off to those who love doing it

[RayMK]

Same here, except that I have not touched mine for weeks. I rely on my son to do the mowing but his enthusiasm for cycling always takes priority.

[Tetleysmooth]

There was an accident on the Dartford Bridge in the early hours of this morning involving one car, which hit the crash barrier.

Traffic is STILL gridlocked in the area now. I gave up trying to get to work tonight.

The Crossing Authorities really must get a grip of things.