The grumpy thread

[Inspector Morose]

Why is it so hard to find a cheap pushbike. All the ones I've seen are silly money for buckled wheels and rusty chains! Even seen in eBay a couple of barn finds!

http://www.lifecycleuk.org.uk/derby

[cort1977]

How can you be unregistered if you have title? Is this people who move States and keep their old reg?  Apologies for my ignorant championing this - I thought it worked better

You get a title associated with the VIN when you buy new (I think), then you apply to the county for plates which is what we call registering in the UK I suppose.  

 

Steve Jobs famously never put a license plates on his car, just got a new one when the California six month limit to register ran out.

 

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/steve-jobs-car-apple-ceo-license-plates/story?id=14834608

 

To register a vehicle in your name you have to go down to a county office between 9 and 3 and stand in line which can easily take an hour.   After that it's easy.   Similarly, to get a US license after doing the test I had to wait 5 hours in a county office.   After that I grudgingly admitted that the DVLA are not so bad after all.

[vulgalour]

Oh, the spoiler is broken on the Rover.  You do that by shutting the boot with or pushing the car against the spoiler so I'm pretty sure the garage did that when pushing the car across the yard.  The outer shell needs to be glued back on to the inner shell again.  I'll make lemonade out of these lemons by using it as an opportunity to repaint the outer shell again since the previous attempt did not last for some reason.

 

I shan't bother kicking a fuss up about it, I won't get any sort of recompense and it's easy enough for me to resolve the issue.  Grates a bit, is all.  They probably don't even know they've done it, I didn't notice it when I picked the car up, only when I shut the boot and saw the outer shell of the spoiler bounce freely.

[OwdChina]

   After that I grudgingly admitted that the DVLA are not so bad after all.

Yup, and it's made even worse by the fact that registering and keeping plates with the car or not, purchase tax and a whole lot of other shit varies from state to state.

[MarvinsMom]

I just about got wiped out by some twat coming down a slip road who could wait 20 seconds to get past the slower moving car in front of him. He pulled out right in front of me in while I was doing about 80. I locked the wheels, squealing tyres. I must have been about a foot from hitting him. The car's okay but my underpants are a cat B write off.

wasn;t on the A168 interchange this afternoon was it?

 

some twat in his merc W141 nearly caused a multi-lane multi-car pile up, which i nearly got caught up in, cos he was too busy gobbin' away on his blue tooth thing to watch where he was going.

 

wanker.

[cort16]

It was the m77. I'd pulled over to the fast lane to let him out as well but that wasn't good enough he HAD to get into the fast lane .

[eddyramrod]

Massive, total, CBA.

 

I hate it when this happens.  I've got stuff that needs to be done, but isn't going to be, at least not tonight.  I've got work tomorrow followed by a meet with a local FB car group.  Both will happen.  I've then got Sunday and Monday off (such luxury!) and I bet nothing will get done, despite (because of?) constant nagging by MrsR. 

 

And then I'll be angry with myself for being CBA, which will only make me more CBA.  It's a familiar spiral and I know I just have to ride it until I land, but it's no fun while I'm on it.

[mjrose]

 

Grump for today, things that need to be banished from the workplace IMMEDIATELY

 

Conference Calls - If there was one thing I could go back in time and uninvent it would be the concept of having more than 2 participants in a phone conversation.  2 hours of staring into space while someone who has seemingly just learned the word "workflow" tries to jam it into every sentence as the new solution to everything.  Why are these now necessary before anything at all can proceed?

 

Like this?

 

https://youtu.be/DYu_bGbZiiQ?list=RDMhllo1xQer8

 

 

[Captain Furious]

If there was an option to like that twice I would

 

Brilliant

[MarvinsMom]

Massive, total, CBA.

 

I hate it when this happens.  I've got stuff that needs to be done, but isn't going to be, at least not tonight.  I've got work tomorrow followed by a meet with a local FB car group.  Both will happen.  I've then got Sunday and Monday off (such luxury!) and I bet nothing will get done, despite (because of?) constant nagging by MrsR. 

 

And then I'll be angry with myself for being CBA, which will only make me more CBA.  It's a familiar spiral and I know I just have to ride it until I land, but it's no fun while I'm on it.

i feel your pain Eddy, i have a list of motorcar jobs that i want and need to get done, but the soddin' weather just won't let up.

 

cold wind, rain sleet and more flippin' wind keep putting an end to anything outside.

 

the metro wants its fully working replacement blower motor and new gasket putting on, just having both fan speeds...such luxury!

 

the jaguar wants the drivers door window looking at, as its slow as can be, so i want to whip the door card off, and either give it a good lubing, or i fit the second hand motor and mech fitting, 

 

the Mini wants extracating from its garage, and the leaking clutch hydraulics changing and a tet putting on it so it can be used, its not been bothered with since september last year, 

 

and finally the hardly dangerous motor cycle wants some attention, living outside for the last 4 years isn't doing it any favours. not that kerry has used it much!

 

and that is before considering the jobs needed at home,

 

so it all sits about me neck like some bloody great albatross..... and that just gets on my wick.

 

i'd hoped to get at least SOMETHING done this weekend, but i cannot see that happening somehow.

 

AAAAARRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!

[Cavcraft]

Why is it so hard to find a cheap pushbike. All the ones I've seen are silly money for buckled wheels and rusty chains! Even seen in eBay a couple of barn finds!

 

 

How many do you want and what sort of bike? Got almost a garage full here.

 

 

 

 

 

Ref. grumps at work, I was about 30 seconds away from going completely radio and making myself redundant. In the end I chose to spend half an hour typing a short email which I kept changing to add/remove varied swear words and rants. If the pen isn't mightier than the sword then my plans to retire in 2019 might come 3 years early. 

[twosmoke300]

I had a day like that when I was working for a Honda dealer . Went in to work fairly happy etc but by lunch time I had typed my resignation letter on the emissions tester pc and handed it in .

Something just pushed my buttons and I thought - fuck it ! I'm off

I'd just ordered a brand new car at the time too ! Got a job within 2 days and never looked back . In fact I do diagnostic work for the Honda dealer sometimes now 😀

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Cable ties for 15p each? Sorry, no, wheel trim ties. 

 

 

Not technical razzle-dazzle, but a marketing breakthrough

[Parky]

Ten pack? That's handy, two and a half ties per wheel.

 

Why not eight? Or twelve? Or in fact any number that neatly divides by the number of wheels 99.9 percent of cars have?

[andrew e]

Ten pack? That's handy, two and a half ties per wheel.

Why not eight? Or twelve? Or in fact any number that neatly divides by the number of wheels 99.9 percent of cars have?

Two for each corner and two for the spare Parky.

[Parky]

or one for each wheeltrim, three on the exhaust, one on the wiper arm and two securing breather/coolant hoses

[bub2006]

http://www.lifecycleuk.org.uk/derby

Thank you. I never knew this existed.

[fred]

Having chopped a huge thorny bush down, which was pushing my darn wall over. Wedged most of it in the back of the Forester and aimed for the local tip .

 

Half way there a rather angry and huge Garden spider decided to run up my passenger door, and remonstrate his displeasure by walking across the top of the dashboard and stare at me, almost causing me to hit a bloody tree. then disappearing  into a air vent. Great Ive got an angry big assed spider in my car   - Bum !

[Parky]

Put a mouse in your heating system and make sure the Cat is ready.....

[sheffcortinacentre]

because you have to buy two packs instead of one.

[face]

Part 1

Mike announces that this week we're looking for one of his 'all time favourite motors' - the xxx xxx

Finding one at this budget is going to be tough so Mike takes to the classifieds and an un-named internet auction site (occasionally an old flame from the motor trade)

Mike is on his way to see a xxx he's found thats in budget - at this money it could be a gamble

Mike prods around a rough looking example and quickly identifies a number of issues using his knowledge gained in the motor trade

On the test drive he determines that none of them will be a problem for his mechanic, Ed, so he decides to go in with his "size 9's" and "bid him"

Mike offers 40% below the asking price whilst thrusting his hand into the poor unsuspecting sellers midriff chanting "hold out yer'and" in a strangely hypnotic ritual

The seller quickly relents, Mike turns to the camera "I've just bought myself a xxx xxx, FANTASTIC!"

 

Back at the workshop Ed emerges and gives the car a cautiously pesimistic look over

Mike, in his cheeky chirpy mockney manner, reassures him what a great deal it was and how with a bit of Ed's magic, we could turn a tidy profit on this one

In the workshop, Ed gives a detailed run down of the cars faults, gradually more upbeat, he concludes that its going to be a lot of hard work, but it will be worth it in the end

 

Part 2

At the workshop Ed is carrying out a series of major mechanical repairs far beyond the scope of any home mechanic who doesn't have a fully kitted out garage with ramp

Mike drops by with a set of refurbed alloys and asks what Ed has been up to (ha ha)

Ed notes that all the jobs so far have been underneath, its a lot of hard work but will really make the difference - Mike leaves

Paintwork by Dick, refurbished parts from an internet auction site applied as necessary

 

 

Part 3

Mike is off to meet xxx who has one of the cleanest examples of a xxx xxx in the country

xxx gives a breif monotonous history of his ownership and the little touches he's done to the car, Mike doesn't give a shit, he just wants a go

Mike asks for a drive, xxx drops the keys in his hand - montage of Mike driving around an airfield like a ham fisted ape going "WOOHOO" and "FANTASTIC" a lot

Mike concludes that this is a real cracka of an example and hopefully with a bit of magic from Ed, theirs won't be a million miles away

 

Mike returns to the workshop where Ed is just finishing up

Mike and Ed say "wow" "fantastic" and "well done fella" Ed says that its been a lot of hard work but the results really speak for themselves

Mike gives a run down of the spend, which is curiously much cheaper than you might think

Ed hands Mike the keys and they're off for a test drive

 

Part 4

Mike blasting down a mountain road or country lane with Ed awkwardly crammed into the passenger seat like Donkey Kong in Super Mario Kart

Using his knowledge from the car industry Mike identifies that top models are fetching xxx, but he's not going to be greedy and pitches his at several thousand below this

Ed agrees with the valuation, noting that its been a lot of hard work, but it now really is one of the best and worth every penny

 

Mike is showing around xxx who really likes the car and immediately points out all the jobs Ed has done

The buyer 'bids him' Mike counter bids saying if its any less he will keep it, its tense, but Mike thinks he knows where this is going to end up and they settle on a figure in the middle resulting in a negligible profit\minor loss

Mike turns to the camera while still grasping the sellers hand "You've just bought yourself a xxx xxx Well Done Fella!"

 

Mike summarises that (contrary to the premise of the entire show) sometimes its not all about making a profit, its about keeping another classic on the road - Tala

 

You have now seen every episode of Wheeler Dealers ever - That said, I do actually quite like it..

I dare say that took a while to compile, but I can say with absolute confidence that it was time well spent. A hilarious and accurate piece.

 

Bravo sir and thank you.

[Captain Furious]

Thanks, it was a lot of hard work but...

 

Seriously though, I must have actually seen every episode of wheeler dealers and it is a quality show, but as someone alluded to earlier, I prefer the early seasons where they had a £1000 budget. One that stands out for me is where Mike buys a shagged Capri, Ed puts new wings on it and piss cans them, but they turn out flat and completely devoid of shine

 

Unperturbed, Ed thinks he can salvage things with a bit of elbow grease and a damn good polish (at this point I am thinking, I KNOW there is no salvaging that paint job, because I've done paint jobs like that in the past, elbow grease and polish made no difference whatsoever, if this turns out mint then I'm calling shenanigans)

 

Sure enough, his efforts made no difference at all and they sold it for a loss to, as I recall, a damn fine looking young filly

 

That's when I thought actually, this is a pretty true to life show with no 'magic of television'

 

The latter series' lost that a bit, with ever increasing budgets and Ed farming everything out to professional body shops.

[face]

Yeah, I still watch it regardless of its shortcomings. Brewer does make me cringe though.

 

A couple of episodes stick in my mind - the SJ Jeep that they did that turned out to be rotten as a pear, and the more recent Audi Quattro one - nothing special except the test drive consisted of shaking the living shit out of it around some 'rally' track.

[dave21478]

Lovely weather all last week, I was wearing shorts and T-shirt at work yesterday. I mowed the lawn yesterday evening.

 

Ah, the bank holiday weekend, I reckon I will bust out the Metro and go for a nice dri..........

I was woken this morning by the sounds of heavy rain in the gutters. Back to pissing horizontal rain.

 

It. Just. Never. Ends.

[purplebargeken]

They should change focus and stick to the bag of sand limit and get most of their cars from here. We could then kill him and set Edd free.

[Pillock]

Is it me, or is it really fucking annoying when people quote a massive long post including sixteen pictures and twenty paragraphs just to add one line of comment.

 

Website, mobile site and Tapatalk all let you edit quotes.

[myglaren]

Having chopped a huge thorny bush down, which was pushing my darn wall over. Wedged most of it in the back of the Forester and aimed for the local tip .

 

Half way there a rather angry and huge Garden spider decided to run up my passenger door, and remonstrate his displeasure by walking across the top of the dashboard and stare at me, almost causing me to hit a bloody tree. then disappearing  into a air vent. Great Ive got an angry big assed spider in my car   - Bum !

Lucky it wasn't this!

[Parky]

Fitting blinds. Oh what's behind the plasterboard today? Metal RSJ? Concrete? Is there enough room to insert an anchor plug?

 

It sounds kind of fun if you read that out loud in a Play School type voice. The reality consists of me shaking my head and either muttering or shouting "oh for fucks sake....."

 

One more to do, after which blinds can fuck right off (that's the alternative to curtains, not the partially sighted)

[xtriple]

Fucking car (slightly) broken yet again!

 

Rear window on the drivers side has been making nasty noises for a week or three and has stopped going all the way down. Today, it made an even more amusing noise and didn't go anywhere!

 

Bollocks.

 

Taken the back door apart.... what a bloody faff and palaver! I have never seen so many hidden screws (or, not seen as in this case!) and trying to get at the motor/cable/lift unit is.... tricky! Finally got it all out and without breaking anything (when you know that a bit of trim is probably in the hundreds, it focusses the mind beautifully!) and the cables have come off the runners. Okay, lets sort that then....

 

No. There is a little plastic ferrule/guide thing at the top that has snapped. I could get it all back together but it will fall off again ASAP so not worth the hassle. So, go and investigate Flying Spares website and the prices are unbelievable! A new one is £780 plus VAT etc and a second hand one (if they have one) is £200. Out of the goodness of their hearts they have had this tiny plastic ferrule made in metal.....£48!!!!!!!

 

If my car was a couple of years older, then the motor/unit is different and runs on chains and looks like it would last a thousand years, this fucker is modern and shit with cables and plastic fittings.

 

So, what to do? A new one is out (obviously!) but do I get a s/h one if there is one about or try and get this ferrule thing to fit?

 

The back door is currently in the boot (well, all the door furniture is) and the window is held up by the tube from a hoover butchered to fit!

[dugong]

Fucking car (slightly) broken yet again!

 

Rear window on the drivers side has been making nasty noises for a week or three and has stopped going all the way down. Today, it made an even more amusing noise and didn't go anywhere!

 

Bollocks.

 

Taken the back door apart.... what a bloody faff and palaver! I have never seen so many hidden screws (or, not seen as in this case!) and trying to get at the motor/cable/lift unit is.... tricky! Finally got it all out and without breaking anything (when you know that a bit of trim is probably in the hundreds, it focusses the mind beautifully!) and the cables have come off the runners. Okay, lets sort that then....

 

No. There is a little plastic ferrule/guide thing at the top that has snapped. I could get it all back together but it will fall off again ASAP so not worth the hassle. So, go and investigate Flying Spares website and the prices are unbelievable! A new one is £780 plus VAT etc and a second hand one (if they have one) is £200. Out of the goodness of their hearts they have had this tiny plastic ferrule made in metal.....£48!!!!!!!

 

If my car was a couple of years older, then the motor/unit is different and runs on chains and looks like it would last a thousand years, this fucker is modern and shit with cables and plastic fittings.

 

So, what to do? A new one is out (obviously!) but do I get a s/h one if there is one about or try and get this ferrule thing to fit?

 

The back door is currently in the boot (well, all the door furniture is) and the window is held up by the tube from a hoover butchered to fit!

Jesus.

 

I admire your perseverance with this thing (and yours is apparently a good one?)

 

Special question: can you fit the earlier door guts into yours?