The grumpy thread

[bub2006]

4 matching nearly new tyres on xsara. First time I've drove it in the rain and on new tarmac surfaces (shiny slippery shit) it's like bambi on ice. Countless times today the arse has swung out on corners or the front wheels have pushed wide. Pulling out of junctions is interesting to say the least.

[MarvinsMom]

major grump.... got into the Rover this morning, started it up and tried to put it in gear, clutch pedal sank to the floor and didn't come back up when i took my foot off. SHIT SHIT SHITTY SHIT....

 

so currently the rover is broken (shagged clutch)

the xk6 is broken (no brake lights, so kinda important)

the mini is almost broken (sticky clutch)

the metro is at the moment ok....

 

so monday morning am going to work in SWMBO's gay little jeep....

 

bollocks...

 

i should really go and get myself a nice aldi (other german shit heaps are available) on tick.....

[HH-R]

Some Chris Hunt has been driving up and down the street what seems like 20 times a day in a crappy old Vauxhall with an exhaust that's loud enough to wake the dead for weeks. They seem to drop someone off late on at night, leaving it idling to rattle the windows out for a minute then ragging it away. Hopefully it will do a Vauxhall and break soon.

 

In fact with that and fucking dogs barking constantly, hitting stuff with hammers early in the morning, putting bins out at midnight etc, folk round here seem allergic to sleep.

[Sigmund Fraud]

i should really go and get myself yet another rover

 

EFA

[EssDeeWon]

Looks like I was wrong again. The third lane of the motorway IS for very important people, especially the weapons grade bellend in the white Volvo (XC?) 4x4 who was attempting to do 317mph in the absolute pissing rain/limited visibility on the M6 earlier. 

 

For this very reason we have fatal 'accidents' on the motorway except they are not really accidents when they are caused by people being dicks.

 

I wonder how many fatal motorway 'accidents' genuinely are 'accidents'?

[skattrd]

Fuses, I have loads of them, I stock up when I'm in the pound shop. I get one of the variety packs and stick it in a car, which car? any will do. From my reckoning there should be a spare box of fuses in half of my motors. I also have a pack of fuses with the small tool-kit I carry for collections, so why the fuck can I not find a 30 amp fuse anywhere?

[320touring]

Fuses, I have loads of them, I stock up when I'm in the pound shop. I get one of the variety packs and stick it in a car, which car? any will do. From my reckoning there should be a spare box of fuses in half of my motors. I also have a pack of fuses with the small tool-kit I carry for collections, so why the fuck can I not find a 30 amp fuse anywhere?

Hammer a 20a over it and it'll be fine

[vulgalour]

Nugget tried to kill me with some epic understeer and brakes that don't work properly.  >: (

[Skizzer]

General grump: I appear to have taken a wrong turning somewhere and wandered into Pistonheads.

[320touring]

Nugget tried to kill me with some epic understeer and brakes that don't work properly.  >: (

Have a bucket pic to soothe you

[HillmanImp]

Just packed up the car to go and stick a load of stuff in the lock up and can't find the keys, the ONLY set of keys.

 

They were on my keyring, now they aren't. 

 

Fucksticks. 

[Inspector Morose]

I'm going away on work from today so getting ready to pack clothes etc. 

 

Cat has decided to take a smelly wet dump in one of my rucksacks. 

 

Cue rucksack bleached and deposited in machine for a boil wash.

 

I'm now very late for work.

 

Fucksticks.

[twosmoke300]

And the cat?

[UmBongo]

Some Chris Hunt has been driving up and down the street what seems like 20 times a day in a crappy old Vauxhall with an exhaust that's loud enough to wake the dead for weeks. They seem to drop someone off late on at night, leaving it idling to rattle the windows out for a minute then ragging it away. Hopefully it will do a Vauxhall and break soon.

 

In fact with that and fucking dogs barking constantly, hitting stuff with hammers early in the morning, putting bins out at midnight etc, folk round here seem allergic to sleep.

 

Buy knives.

 

Kill them all.

 

Will read about you in the papers.

 

National treasure in a few years time like wot Paul Thingy was in NYC some years back.

 

You know, the guy that Michael 'Horrible Fat Turd' Winner made a documentary about.

 

He called it Death Wish.

[Timewaster]

I'm going away on work from today so getting ready to pack clothes etc.

 

Cat has decided to take a smelly wet dump in one of my rucksacks.

 

Cue rucksack bleached and deposited in machine for a boil wash.

 

I'm now very late for work.

 

Fucksticks.

Explain this situation to your boss.

 

He will be too busy laughing to bollock you.

[Skizzer]

Nugget tried to kill me with some epic understeer and brakes that don't work properly.  >: (

 

Sympathy, scary stuff.  I have an irrational fear of understeer, it somehow seems much worse than oversteer (which I'm more used to from racing karts years ago).  Maybe it's just more direct heading into the scenery forwards instead of backwards.

 

Hope/glad you're ok.

[Skizzer]

Buy knives.

 

Kill them all.

 

Will read about you in the papers.

 

National treasure in a few years time like wot Paul Thingy was in NYC some years back.

 

You know, the guy that Michael 'Horrible Fat Turd' Winner made a documentary about.

 

He called it Death Wish.

 

Fair, although a crappy old Vauxhall is probably its own punishment in the long* run.

[HH-R]

Might be going a bit far, though I was woken up this morning by the cat scrabbling for his life through the cat flap because some arsehole has let their dog wander round the garden and chase him. Instead of getting the fucking thing they just shouted at it. Might be time to move, somewhere where there are no people and especially no dogs.

[Inspector Morose]

Situation update. Bag now clean. Cat looking at me with that "it wasn't my fault" look on her face they do so well.

 

I'll deal with you when I get back next week. She'll have forgotten by then and probably so shall I.

 

Owned by a cat.

[Pillock]

You were owned by a cat the day you let it into your house, started buying food for it, and probably paid for various things at the vets for precisely zero return. Cats are good at this.

[rml2345]

Cats are incredibly clever. Not only do they make you their slave but they convince you to enjoy it as well.

Bastards.

[vulgalour]

I have an irrational fear of understeer, it somehow seems much worse than oversteer...  Maybe it's just more direct heading into the scenery forwards instead of backwards.

It's been ages since I experienced it. We were all fine going around the corner and then it just washed out on me, the steering wheel might as well not have been attached. Off the pedals to lose what speed I could and then emergency stop so I didn't pile it into the railings. Lots of noise and drama but no harm done. I would have been less cross if I'd been stupid driving or pretending I was in the Xantia but I wasn't, guess I'm just out of touch with the vagaries of cheap basic hatchbacks.

[EssDeeWon]

Minor grump - A frustrating weekend of spotting.

 

A minty MK2 Astra estate, a Nissan Laurel and a flat nose Sherpa truck all on the move and missed. Also an Austin Cambridge and a Sierra estate found but neighbours out the front chin wagging which makes stopping to shoot difficult. This just add's to the list of great spots missed in Southend in recent weeks. (MK3 Cortina GXL, Carlton GL, Capri Laser, Spacecruiser, Belmont CD)

[bub2006]

It's been ages since I experienced it. We were all fine going around the corner and then it just washed out on me, the steering wheel might as well not have been attached. Off the pedals to lose what speed I could and then emergency stop so I didn't pile it into the railings. Lots of noise and drama but no harm done. I would have been less cross if I'd been stupid driving or pretending I was in the Xantia but I wasn't, guess I'm just out of touch with the vagaries of cheap basic hatchbacks.

Mohawk tyres on Xsara do this at slightest hint of rain. I think it's also to do with shit slippy new tarmac on bends

[dollywobbler]

I don't think I've experienced properly bowel-loosening understeer since I fitted really cheap tyres to a Subaru Legacy. I wondered if the steering wheel had come off its splines as it had bugger all influence on direction. Thanks Formula One. I think you need to reconsider you're definition of 'they're pretty good.'

[Bucketeer]

Dear line of dirt that refuses to go in the dustpan, please fuck off.

 

[fordperv]

And the cat?

On a boil wash with the rucksack?

[xtriple]

Last time I had proper 'see the face of God' understeer was in a Renault 25. Pouring rain and driving like I always did - brain taken out and put somewhere safe for the journey, then foot to the floor for as long as possible. The car was pretty much new so whatever tyres Reggie shod the 25 GTX with and thundering into Kingsbridge to see friends. Turned the wheel to the right to make (surprisingly enough!) a right turn and miss the house that sits bang in the middle of three roads...

 

just didn't happen...

 

However, being the 'driving God' and all round cool guy that all the girls found irresistible (and all the guys wanted to buy a pint) I acted on pure instinct and  straightened the steering, braked like fuck (while aiming straight at the house!) then turned in again. Second time, it gripped. The guy sat along side me was soooooo impressed. However, he had no idea how hard my sphincter had gripped the seat and in turn, eaten my kegs and knickers!

[nebuchenezer]

I don't think I've experienced properly bowel-loosening understeer since I fitted really cheap tyres to a Subaru Legacy. I wondered if the steering wheel had come off its splines as it had bugger all influence on direction. Thanks Formula One. I think you need to reconsider you're definition of 'they're pretty good.'

Oversteer, Understeer. Wombling free 

 

25 year old E30 3 series BMW with wanked suspension shod with a cracked set of Nankang's finest first generation widow makers

 

You could drive an artic up my arse after the first drive in the wet........

[eddyramrod]

Went to a car show today.  Not only that, it was free admission. Took wife, dog and picnic in the Tacuma.  So where's the grump?

 

Two and a half sodding hours of crawling up what passes for coastal A-roads round here behind a series of camper vans and other general tourists, fighting road works and broken-down vehicles on blind corners.  Oh but wait....

To come home I decided to nip over to Carlisle (yes, we were that far up) and get on the motorway, thus cleverly avoiding all the aforementioned hazards on the coast roads.  Made a slight error of judgement on a roundabout and popped the front left tyre.  OK, that's fine, I'll put the spare on.  It's a spacesaver.... ok, doesn't matter.  Boy are these nuts on tight!  So tight, I broke the wrench.  So I phoned my mate who had also been at the show, and eventually he was able to find me, and fortunately his wheelbrace fitted.  Job jobbed.  Finally got home about 10pm, and tomorrow I will have to go out and buy a new tyre as the scrap one was part of a set I had fitted less than a year ago.  And no, I won't be using Black Circles.