The grumpy thread

[Timewaster]

Sorbitol is terrible stuff.

 

Gives me the squits like nothing else.

 

Look out for it more and more as sugar seems to be the new fat.

[richardmorris]

It's in beachams flu gel. Same effect here!

[Bren]

The next time I am bunged up I will be on the werthers then.

[vulgalour]

Homophobic comments being submitted to my car blog.  They're not even slightly witty, which is disappointing.  I mean seriously, who even says 'batty boy' anymore?

[DS20]

Re vulgalour's blog: that's really not cool  Sad that even though it's 2015, there're still people out there who think the world is a rugby club in 1926.  

 

 

 

Re Sorbitol: 

 

Haribo.  Which does this, according to one review: 

 

"Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.



BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.



Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.



But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.



AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.



I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.



I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.



Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.



Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.



If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

[fordperv]

Vulg they sound like fugging ali g wannabes, i bet they still wear bright track suits and hang around maccy dee's with their massive innit. It is sad that there's people with ideas like this still around, let alone making a noise, whatever happened to if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing

[purplebargeken]

Vulg, you have a blog? You ar ethe first person I know* who has one. I haz impressed. How does one view such a thing?

[dollywobbler]

 

Re Sorbitol: 

 

 

 

That's odd. I'm having a day rather like that, but it's over a week since I finished my Gummi bears... Do people really want me an LS in the same room on Saturday? Be prepared...

[MrDuke]

The only sugar substitute I can tolerate without being ill is Sucralose, and that in fairly small doses. If I'm cooking I'll use Stevia which is fairly innocuous. Otherwise, I'd much rather actually have the sugar - at least it's a natural substance, and I know exactly what it's doing to my insides in any given volume.

[dollywobbler]

The only sugar substitute I can tolerate without being ill is Sucralose, and that in fairly small doses. If I'm cooking I'll use Stevia which is fairly innocuous. Otherwise, I'd much rather actually have the sugar - at least it's a natural substance, and I know exactly what it's doing to my insides in any given volume.

 

This is my thinking most of the time. I've stopped taking sugar in tea to try and make up for liking chocolate so much... Once you wean yourself off sweeteners, any lapse is horrible! Like drinking plastic.

[HH-R]

I once made the mistake of eating a packet of Smint Sugar Free mints on a long road trip, there was a VERY desperate plea to the driver to stop at the next services!

[Cavcraft]

Homophobic comments being submitted to my car blog.  They're not even slightly witty, which is disappointing.  I mean seriously, who even says 'batty boy' anymore?

 

 

Was that on here? If it was, drop me a pm. Cheers.

[Craig the Princess]

I'm not suggesting we track them down, take a detour there en route to the Princess thing and take a massive dump on their lawns Vulg, but I would certainly second that suggestion if someone else made it.

[vulgalour]

Vulg, you have a blog? You ar ethe first person I know* who has one. I haz impressed. How does one view such a thing?

I'm not the only one with a blog. Several people on here have them too and some even update their blogs on a regular basis. For me it's Perambulate No More and updates are sporadic.

 

Was that on here? If it was, drop me a pm. Cheers.

Nobody on here, everyone here is way too decent for that sort of nonsense.

 

It's good that the places I enjoy visiting are completely intolerant of such front-bottomness and it's been a while since I last got this sort of immature grief from the car scene.  Happily, I'm not insecure about my own choice of partner and all that jazz and can and do have a joke about it as one should.  Just a shame not everyone can be quite so laid back about it.

 

[plasticvandan]

I'm pretty tolerant,experimented a bit when I was younger,but I draw the line at owning a corsa I have much love for small and basic

[Albert Ross]

Oooh, can I go and "educate" them with my nice grotty size 12s please? I don't like that kind of shit going off......

[jakebullet]

Observe exhibit A m'lord:

 

 

Is this item:

 

Covered in deep gouges making it totally unusable, but I'd like to keep it and you can just send me the money back, ta?

 

or

 

You've drawn a line on it with a pencil, and are going to shaft me with ebay's blessing?

 

Another one for the argos list

[vulgalour]

Woahwoahwoah, it's just an internet troll, no need to get your bovver boots on guys.  Geez.  Relax, it's all under control.

 

 

 

Though it is lovely that you all think so highly of me that you'd offer your services to beat up an offensive stranger I've told you all about to defend my honour.  You can't buy THAT with Mastercard.

[Albert Ross]

I always wear them boots......   Some people need waking up to modern life, that's all.

[plasticvandan]

My feet earlier:

[320touring]

My feet earlier:

6253415561_343b494123_z.jpg

As yet untouched by human face;)

[cort16]

Got bastarding outbidded on another mac on eBay it just seems wrong spending 400 plus quid on a 6 year old computer. I recon I might end up doing what know wants to do at the weekend to get one. Go to Kirkcaldy .

[Doctormop]

The older I get the more inclined I am to think that anyone who feels the need to cast aspersions about someones sexual orientation is so confused about their own that they begrudge anybody else's right to a happy, worthwhile relationship with a like minded partner and will never be happy with themselves or any person they try to form a relationship with.

That said I used to laugh my knackers off at the Dick Emery show and John Inman as Mr Humphries in are you being served, I mean, you've got to laugh aven't ya.

[maxpower]

I went to put the cat out the other night... He grumped at me to eff off as it was bitter... so for once i agreed with him and wrapped him in his blanket...only to find him dead in the cupboard the following morning  i'm glad now i never put him out... so we buried him in garden...where our dog even said it's last goodbyes and has been moping around ever since.

 

[steve_earwig]

Awww, sads

[messerschmitt owner]

Sorry about the cat. Bit of advice. Pop a big stone on top. The day of my neighbour's funeral when our dog dug up the six month dead cat was not a nice day.

[privatewire]

I'm not the only one with a blog. Several people on here have them too and some even update their blogs on a regular basis. For me it's Perambulate No More and updates are sporadic.

 

 

Nobody on here, everyone here is way too decent for that sort of nonsense.

It's good that the places I enjoy visiting are completely intolerant of such front-bottomness and it's been a while since I last got this sort of immature grief from the car scene.  Happily, I'm not insecure about my own choice of partner and all that jazz and can and do have a joke about it as one should.  Just a shame not everyone can be quite so laid back about it.

Just subscribed! That means I don't have to look about for an excuse not to study today. Saved me hours that has....

[nigel bickle]

Death of a pet is always sad, for everyone. Clearly, your dog understands..

 

Least it was quick. Soz

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Poor cat

 

I am still cold, and now whiny. The broken boiler was repaired on Friday, but was broken again within 12 hours. The engineer is back out to it today, so I've just switched it back on to display its fault code. There was a little arc flash around the switch and now it's completely lifeless. 

 

I had that exact same "oh NO" feeling you get when a bolt snaps. Chance of heating being repaired today? My optimistic guess is 1%. 

[Angrydicky]

Sorry to hear about your cat maxpower. It's never easy, and I still miss ours three years on.