The grumpy thread

[HH-R]

I always thought Piers Linney was about 21, was surprised to read he's in his 40s! He looks younger than I do and he's got nearly 20 years on me.

[saucedoctor]

I'd shag that other one that was on it, Hilary something. She looks FILTHY.

[cobblers]

Well I reckon that's me through with fucking about with old cars as a means of primary transport.

After having a total shitshow weekend doing the clutch on a 106 (A job I have managed in three hours before) and almost killing myself in the process as no fucker was about to help me lift the box back on. After 90 minutes of jiggling the bastard about on my chest to get it on only to find the clutch release bearing had dropped off the forks, I was millimeters away from launching the gearbox through the windscreen and phoning cartakeback to take the resulting mess off the drive. Genuinely the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I had to put the gearbox down to close the bonnet to get a decent angle on the fucking thing (I was completely set on having it totally break through the screen rather than just crack it and bounce off) which is when the red mist cleared.

 

The car is fixed now and drives very nicely again (I drove the absolute giblets out of it for half an hour to get back at it) but as soon as I've found something newish, shiny and more importantly that I will just pay someone else to fix, it'll be out of here.

 

I'd like to particularly thank Euro Car Parts for contributing in a number of ways to my mental shite breakdown, first they butter you up by supplying the wrong parts 75% of the time, but then the parts they do supply correct are more or less unusable.

 

 

look forward to my post in about two months time when my shiny newish mk5 golf GTi has shit the DSG gearbox out and I'm coming crawling back.

[sporty-shite]

Well I reckon that's me through with fucking about with old cars as a means of primary transport.

After having a total shitshow weekend doing the clutch on a 106 (A job I have managed in three hours before) and almost killing myself in the process as no fucker was about to help me lift the box back on. After 90 minutes of jiggling the bastard about on my chest to get it on only to find the clutch release bearing had dropped off the forks, I was millimeters away from launching the gearbox through the windscreen and phoning cartakeback to take the resulting mess off the drive. Genuinely the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I had to put the gearbox down to close the bonnet to get a decent angle on the fucking thing (I was completely set on having it totally break through the screen rather than just crack it and bounce off) which is when the red mist cleared.

 

The car is fixed now and drives very nicely again (I drove the absolute giblets out of it for half an hour to get back at it) but as soon as I've found something newish, shiny and more importantly that I will just pay someone else to fix, it'll be out of here.

 

I'd like to particularly thank Euro Car Parts for contributing in a number of ways to my mental shite breakdown, first they butter you up by supplying the wrong parts 75% of the time, but then the parts they do supply correct are more or less unusable.

 

 

look forward to my post in about two months time when my shiny newish mk5 golf GTi has shit the DSG gearbox out and I'm coming crawling back.

£100 CASH 2MRW M8

 

Seriously, have a beer, cool down and think seriously about the absolute toss you are talking I mean, if you're paying to have something fixed, it might as well be something interesting, and something that won't cost eleventy billion quid just to have a bulb changed.

 

.

[cort16]

All that happens if you have a new car AND some heap of shite that you spend all your time tinkering with .

I have a brand new car and I had a weld spark set fire to my socks just last week welding up a 70s ford. Living the dream.

[The Moog]

My brothers jag specialist is charging £90 an hour plus vat. That is why we do it sometimes

[saucedoctor]

£90 + Vat an hour? Who is it? Gordon Murray?

[cobblers]

I'd keep the T25 for "pleasure tinkering" because it's quite a joy to work on, compared with a car. I just don't want to have to be fighting all weekend to fix my daily, or, like this week where I took a days holiday just to do a job that in hindsight I might as well have just paid someone else £150 or so to do. I pulled my balls out to do a job that I could have done in 4 hours on a ramp with the right parts. Someone who wasn't an idiot could probably knock 25% off that too so even at garage rates it's not worth me killing myself.

I've got a mate who's a cracking VW mechanic that charges £35 ish an hour and I'm totally happy to pay that if it means I can just let him go and fix the car while I drive round in his courtesy car, rather than having to call in favours for lifts or cycle to work while I'm sending my mum to pick crank oil seals up from GSF.

 

Our lass pays £120 a month for a Fiat 500 with a Sturmey Archer gearbox and she's dead happy, she's not had to lay under the fucker copping for facefulls of grease and rusty brake shield dust even once.

[jonathan_dyane]

Some fucker has hit my XM while parked and put a crease down two of the doors. Fucking fuming.

[vulgalour]

I'd shag that other one that was on it, Hilary something. She looks FILTHY.

 

This one?  It's Deville or Devey or something like that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**actually, I think she's pretty awesome and if I were at all interested in that half of the field I totally would.

[overrun]

You mean SCMODS, surely?

Shitbox, Dodge!

[Jon]

If anyone thinks Dragon's Den is a bit shit, try and watch more than a couple of minutes of Drangon's Den Canada on Youtube. My cousin's just moved from NZ to Canada for a couple of years for work and we had expected that there was a good chance he'd stay for good. However, if that's the calibre of television over there (I'm an adult, I don't need silly sound effects after a soundbite to understand what I've just heard), I reckon he'll be back before Christmas.

[maxpower]

AA 

 

First world problems and all that but I don't feel I've had good value from my £130/yr membership fee.

 

I dumped their arses when they wanted £112 for a fkin battery

[Cavcraft]

I love how you thrashed the 106 to get it back, it's the sort of automotive equivalent of kicking shit out of the kitchen cupboard door you left open and subsequently twatted your leg into.

[inconsistant]

I'm generally irritated that I've been priced out of ever owning a proper Mini ever again, so reading this at the Doctors waiting room this morning has had a negative impact on my wellbeing:

 

 

 

[AlabamaShrimp]

I'm generally irritated that I've been priced out of ever owning a proper Mini ever again, so reading this at the Doctors waiting room this morning has had a negative impact on my wellbeing:

 

 

IMG_3625.JPG

What the buggery fuck??? What kind of fuckwit would even think of writing that let alone the editor approving it?

 

Next week "sod paying a lot for some early porsche take a beetle and hit it with a hammer a lot"

[saucedoctor]

There was a "Cooper-ised" Riley Elf on the 'Bay a while ago. Looked bloody good, and wasn't big money.

[mercrocker]

Which magazine published that Mini-related dysentery?   I want to be able to hate them properly.....

[dollywobbler]

Looks like Practical Performance Car. Oh dear.

 

Anyway, I'm grumpy because I have sod all money yet somehow have to tax the (expensive) Rover and get new tyres fitted to the 2CV. I'd hoped to buy new tyres at the weekend, but couldn't fit them in the car. Will now have to pay for carriage. Needs a full set as well! Fortunately, the cheapo Toyos are pretty good and only £34 each when you buy a few at a time. The 2CV needs taxing at the end of this month too. Cars are bloody expensive! They go completely against our low-income, hippy lifestyle.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Which magazine published that Mini-related dysentery?   I want to be able to hate them properly.....

 

Metro Ruiner's Digest, the magazine for today's Mini owner. 

[wuvvum]

Went to tax the Toyota this morning.  Turns out the MOT ran out at the end of June.  Felt like a right twonk.  Better get the gun gum out and patch the exhaust up ready for a test then.

[inconsistant]

Looks like Practical Performance Car.

 

£5 on it's way* to you Mr DW.

 

Next time I visit the Docs I'm going to check out Which?, Saga Mag or other such sensible periodicals.

[RedSparrow]

I assumed that article was from one of those gereric retarded women's mags.

[dave21478]

I'm generally irritated that I've been priced out of ever owning a proper Mini ever again, so reading this at the Doctors waiting room this morning has had a negative impact on my wellbeing:

 

 

IMG_3625.JPG

 

 

Great tip.

Personally, I am just about to cut down a Ferrari to make a replica 406 coupe.

[cobblers]

Bloke at work has just got a "no further action will be taken" letter from the plod after some idiot in an OLLI spec land rover got all road raged and physically rammed him off the road.

Apparently three witnesses (nevermind the dents and three feet high tyre marks up the side of the van along with a reg and description of the landy and driver) as well as CCTV footage of the land rover aggressively tailgating him moments earlier is not enough to secure a prosecution.

 

However, I'm expecting a ticket for 79/80 in a 70 on a dry, empty dual carriageway early thursday morning because that kind of behavior is clearly very dangerous and I should be punished.

[jonathan_dyane]

A big shout out to all those twats at carparts4less who have the ability to creatively fuck up any order no matter how big or small. Bastards.

[cobblers]

So even when trading under another name, Euro Car Parts are still unable to manage simple tasks.

[chaseracer]

Bloke at work has just got a "no further action will be taken" letter from the plod after some idiot in an OLLI spec land rover got all road raged and physically rammed him off the road. Apparently three witnesses (nevermind the dents and three feet high tyre marks up the side of the van along with a reg and description of the landy and driver) as well as CCTV footage of the land rover aggressively tailgating him moments earlier is not enough to secure a prosecution.

 

Three or more letters should now follow: one each to the Chief C*nstable and the Police & Crime Commissioner (in the unlikely event that they are not both total w@nkers) but more usefully to all local and regional news media organisations.

[xtriple]

Just taken the dog (Phoebe) to the vets yet again and now they think she 'may' have broken her elbow or damaged ligaments. X-rays required.... but, Phoebe is terrified of EVERYONE! She freaks just going to the vets - they have never been able to get heart rate/temp/blood pressure readings properly 'cos she is so scared. Also, the fact that she's missing half her innards makes any anesthesia dangerous. Really don't know what to do for the best.

 

So as an interim measure, she's on double steroids and not allowed out for a week, she'll go bloody mad if I take Chester and leave her home, and if I don't take Chester out, he'll go insane!

 

If only dogs could be fixed with a mig, a bit of old washing machine and a few nuts and bolts!

[purplebargeken]

Oi, tosser neighbour! Stop trying to play the fucking steel drums. You are an arse.