The grumpy thread

[Asimo]

 

Electric cars don't have a gearbox so don't refer to their transmission as "automatic" 

If you have to put something in that box try "None".

[dave21478]

One of my neighbours is an odious right wing old cunt older gentleman from a different epoch, when slapping the wife about was de rigeur and after dinner conversation was often about "bloody fuzzywuzzies/damned arabs getting uppity".

However, he has impeccable automotive taste, with a daily 205 dizzler and in the garage two Panhard dynas, a 4CV and some kind of Simca I cant get a close look at under its tarp.

 

One of the dynas has that "recently restored" look to its paintjob, but the other is its original grey with 50 years of lovely hard earned patina and no real rot at all.

 

This morning he is outside painting it with a 4" paintbrush and a tin of hammerite. And to add insult to idiocy he is doing it parked under a pine tree on a windy day.

 

 

 

 

 

[dollywobbler]

Picture 3.png

 

Electric cars don't have a gearbox so don't refer to their transmission as "automatic" 

If you have to put something in that box try "None".

 

If you're going to be pedantic, they DO have a gearbox. With just one speed.

[cort16]

Getting my Cortina in my lockup is a fucker as my Cortina doesn't fit in straight on into the lockup by about 7mm. The only way to make it fit is to reverse it in then put it on trolleys so I can move it around. The slight problem being I lent my dad (who lives 120 miles away) my good 2 ton jack. 

The result was I had to jack it up on my shitey old 20 quid 1 ton jack, which has no handle or certainly none I could find. I tried various bars and and old broom handles none of, which worked so after an hour of pissing around I had to cut a slice out the jack and weld in an old steel table leg. 

 

Seemed to work okay.

[dollywobbler]

Had my afternoon ruined by a beautiful chugger. I let my defences slip, as we were at a Carnival, and I wasn't expecting chugging tactics. Lots of bucket shacking going on by people who've made a bit of effort - and earnt their donations - that's fair enough. It's a fund-raising carnival. I didn't respond very well to having some paid bint trying to guilt trip me and a friend into handing over our bank details for the RNLI. Sob story, sob story, poor hardworking volunteers out in all weathers etc. My friend calmly asked "are you a volunteer?" I think she realised a positive result was unlikely at this point. We did throw a few quid in a bucket - happy in the knowledge that she didn't earn it. I really do find it hard to say just how much I hate chuggers. It's a lot though.

 

Also, the PA was a bit crap. Far too much bass - nasty bass. It also made a really good choir sound like someone scraping nails down a blackboard. Nice work! I gave up and went home.

[scaryoldcortina]

Dolly, if you really want to support the RNLI I suggest you buy this.

 

http://handh.co.uk/Auctions/14-10-2015-ImperialWarMuseumDuxford-1392/1960Ferrari250GTSWB-39917.aspx

 

and then use it to shop for bread and milk.

[beko1987]

Put a hoover back together that worked fine before, and the motor died. Fucking thing, means ive got to have it hanging around for longer, was hoping to advertise it soon

[Timewaster]

Not wishing to belittle their heroic efforts but I have heard from more than one source that the RNLI are not short of cash at all and that there are charities far more worthy of your hard earned.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

If you're going to be pedantic, they DO have a gearbox. With just one speed.

I use the same argument that I've had with people who claim their M5 isn't an auto it's an MSG or whatever.

If you turned up at your driving test in a Leaf,M5 or even a C- Matic GS, you would not get a licence to drive manual cars.

I have no idea what would happen with pre-selectors or old DS' with the GBH.

[Austin of England]

My son took his Peugeot 206 for MOT on Friday - it failed but only on a couple of points - Brake load sensing valve seized - that shouldn't be too bad to sort out, and Oh there is this

 

Yep about 5 holes punched through the bottom of a rotten sill, I suppose I need to order some more MIG wire and fathom out where to join the sill along the rear quarter panel as its a 3 door without it looking to much of a bugger, or failing that time for the bridge?

[alf892]

Was supposed to be going to Rally of the Giants today..........but weather. I don't mind a bit of rain but most others do so not likely to be much their to look at........

[xtriple]

Been bidding on a Ducati on eBay (though fuck nows what I'd do with it once acquired!) I even went and looked at it as it's local but the bloke wouldn't do a deal there and then. Just had my bids cancelled 'cos the twat has flogged it outside eBay!

 

Why wouldn't he sell to me? Do I smell? Am I too ugly?

[purplebargeken]

Ducati - pretty things but fragile IIRC. 

[andy18s]

Been bidding on a Ducati on eBay (though fuck nows what I'd do with it once acquired!) I even went and looked at it as it's local but the bloke wouldn't do a deal there and then. Just had my bids cancelled 'cos the twat has flogged it outside eBay!

 

Why wouldn't he sell to me? Do I smell? Am I too ugly?

You can take some comfort in the fact Egay will still charge him a % of the price it was at when he pulled it...

And the electrics would've been shit as well..(possibly)

[twosmoke300]

Austin of England , first thing I would do is poke the tester up the ass with the sharp end of the corrosion assessment tool . The same sharp end he used to ( incorrectly ) poke holes in the sill . They are only supposed to use the rubber end to gently tap . You could stab a hole in a new 206 sill with the other end if you use enough force .

[Austin of England]

Austin of England , first thing I would do is poke the tester up the ass with the sharp end of the corrosion assessment tool . The same sharp end he used to ( incorrectly ) poke holes in the sill . They are only supposed to use the rubber end to gently tap . You could stab a hole in a new 206 sill with the other end if you use enough force .

It is shagged though, I have had a closer look at it and it does give under finger pressure in places, it appears to be held together with the plasticy stone chip stuff they put on the lower part of the sills, I have read since that the drains in these sills are on the small side, prone to blocking and the sill can then fill with water

[scaryoldcortina]

Speaking as a tester.... although you aren't supposed to poke holes in stuff like that it's a bit moot because the sill would still have failed the finger pressure test. There are also times when you go to test the strength of an area and end up covered in rust with your whole hand stuck in a sill.

 

Sharp end of the corrosion tool is supposed to be for "scraping".

[cobblers]

Went with my mam to look at some newish motors today. First on the list was a 2005 Audi A3 sport thing from a dealers:

 

http://www.excellentcars1.co.uk/used-cars/audi-a3-2-0-tdi-sport-3dr-sheffield-201507125133381

 

"JUST DRIVES & LOOKS SUPERB"

 

I got there and straight off noticed paint bubbling both ends of both sills - You could have put your finger through

It was also randomly bubbling around the base of both doors and rear quarters. That type of rust that comes from inside out but hasn't broke the paint yet, but you know it's going to be a mess underneath when it does.

 

Anyway, the dealer bloke had left us to look round it, When he came back over I poliltely said it wasn't the car for us. He inquired why and I pointed out the rust.

 

"It's a ten year old car, lots of them have small amounts of rust at that age" he said. He wasn't being funny, he just genuinely seemed surprised that we were bothered.

I told him  we'd rather buy one of the ones that didn't have any if it's all the same.

 

I'm glad we hadn't travelled far to see it.

 

It's got to the point where I'm almost trying to get her to buy a Fiat 500 because I'm fed up of looking at ropey old VW/Audis and at least parts are cheap for 500s!

[MarvinsMom]

shock horror vag shit going rusty.... who'd have thought....

[cobblers]

The next one was this:

 

 

POUNDLAND WHEELTRIMS on a 2011 car supposedly prepped for retail. FFS. It got worse though, the entire drivers side had been painted in a shade of silver that was miles out. 

 

After that  was Stoneacre Fiat who had a 2011 500 up for £6995 with "up to £1500 MINIMUM PX" but "up to £1500 MINIMUM" meant £500 on this one. 

 

After that we went to another place who had sold the car we went to look at, but had a nice golf that we were interested in, but it was £3k over budget. When we said we'd have spend some time to think about whether she's happy to spend that much the salesman said "The hardest thing is finding the right car - paying for it is the easy bit"

 

Obviously the £14k Audi A3 S line we were stood next to is the right car for me but when I suggested I'd drive that home instead of my £3k ibiza and let him worry about the easy bit he changed his tune.

 

 

Anyway this is all trotting out to be a "used car dealers are all chancers" post and it's not all that original so I'll leave it at that because I could carry on for ages

[Coprolalia]

This weekend I have not been able to tackle any shite. The Scirocco has stayed tucked in it's lockup and the Scudder on boring duties.

 

Instead I worked 10 hours in A&E yesterday and went on a 13 hour course today mandatory for my next role. This cost me £250. Theoretically I can claim it back, but doubt I'll see it.

 

I can normally put up with this as part of what I signed up for, but currently there's the #I'minworkJeremy thing going on and a petition of nearly 200,000 signatures to get Jeremy Hunt sacked. The mainstream media have not paid a blind bit of notice to it.

 

 

P.s. Cobblers get yourself a Skoda; appear to be better rust protected than the flashier VAG motors.

[Lacquer Peel]

Went with my mam to look at some newish motors today. First on the list was a 2005 Audi A3 sport thing from a dealers:

 

http://www.excellentcars1.co.uk/used-cars/audi-a3-2-0-tdi-sport-3dr-sheffield-201507125133381

 

I've seen a few very rusty A3s that shape, the same era of Golf is bad for rust too.

It's not acceptable when we can buy 20 year old cars for <£500 with minimal rust.

[Pillock]

 "up to £1500 MINIMUM PX" 

 

Eh? What? I'm no Stephen Hawking but my interpretation of these two terms are:

 

"up to" - A figure which won't be above the figure quoted, but might be lower.

"minimum" - a figure which won't be below the figure quoted, but might be higher.

 

Stick them together and you seem to have a number between zero and infinity.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I made a load of shit hot Harissa paste on Friday and have been lashing it on pretty much everything I've eaten since, as it is more addictive than CRACK. Now (admittedly this probably should have been anticipated) I have an arse like a blood orange cut in half

[Pillock]

My Mrs has been making garlic and chilli chutney. Last time she entrusted the chilli-purchasing to my good self, and naturally I did what any man would do and pick the ones with the most symbols of chillis on the packet. I forgot they get about a billion times hotter when cooked up, and now we have half a dozen jars of something that can evaporate lead. Well five, I've eaten one.

[fred]

Aye My old dear thought a whole jar of beef jerky sauce would enhance her stew

Fuck me it was that hot my testicles fell off

[Inspector Morose]

The sister in laws salt fish patties. You guys are just learning. The joys of a Caribbean household.

[Alan_Green]

In Ghana the hot sauce is called........well, you can read for yourself:

 

[chaseracer]

The sister in laws salt fish patties. You guys are just learning. The joys of a Caribbean household.

 

We're on our way.  This will be transferred to the GRIN thread shortly thereafter...

[nebuchenezer]

To the farmer that let his cows wander onto the railway line between Ashford and Canterbury last night.

 

THANKS.

 

Trains now fucked until Wednesday at the earliest

 

https://www.southeasternrailway.co.uk/