The grumpy thread

[Supernaut]

1 hour ago, Talbot said:

 

 

 

For anyone who isn't famailar with Phillip Jackson's work:  https://www.collectedcurios.com/   His slightly* surreal series called "Spider and Scorpion" is just superb.

Wow, that's a blast from the past. Didn't realise he was still going.

The problem with Sequential Art and also Questionable Content (another long-running comic) is that as soon as you stop reading it for a few months you're completely out of the loop, as I am with both.

[hairnet]

[Zelandeth]

Oh please for the love of puppies...could the kids next door stop screaming bloody murder just for five minutes...please...

[New POD]

9 hours ago, sierraman said:

Just seen a sign by highways England, ‘if you break down on the motorway pull to the left...’

I mean what dickhead doesn’t know this? If you don’t know that you need banning.

Some years ago.

My uncle, with 3 top execs from his firm, broke down in a traffic queue in the outside lane on the M4 in the rush hour, in the dark and rain.  2 month old Audi 100.  

This was before mobile phones. 

It just stopped. Hazards and lights all failed too. 

It was all he could do to get 2 wheels on the central reservation.  He managed to get out and get the car behind to go to a phone and let the police know. 

They had to close the motorway to push it to the hard shoulder whilst waiting for a tow truck. 

[Wack]

9 hours ago, sierraman said:

Just seen a sign by highways England, ‘if you break down on the motorway pull to the left...’

I mean what dickhead doesn’t know this? If you don’t know that you need banning.

I've seen a number of "professional" drivers pull into the orange refuge areas then sit there with their indicator on waiting for a gap in the traffic so they can enter lane one at 3mph to leave , last one was in an 18T rigid on the M1

I do hope it's all camera monitored because they're supposed to call on the phone, wait for the lane to be closed then be escorted out by the highways agency , you know so somebody doing 70 isn't suddenly up the arse of a truck

[R1152]

Some friends of our family broke down on the M11 and were told to remain in the vehicle on the hard shoulder. This was in the early 80s.

You can guess what happened next; one of our so-called "knights of the road" went into the back of them.

One was left paraplegic; one with pelvic damage, one with neck damage. The insurance payout at the time apparently was a record and made the TV news, but it cost them their restaurant business.

[busmansholiday]

Lockdown is easing so Mrs BMH has decided it's time to redecorate the house !

[danthecapriman]

Digging the garden over the last few days. And now I’ve got a trapped nerve in my sodding shoulder! Bloody kills and it’s going right down my arm into my fingers.

Stupid useless body!

[MarvinsMom]

23 hours ago, wuvvum said:

Am I the only one left wondering why you would want to apply coconut and sandalwood body balm to a prosthetic leg?

it brings the grain of the wood up something lovely.....

[Lankytim]

4 hours ago, Wack said:

I've seen a number of "professional" drivers pull into the orange refuge areas then sit there with their indicator on waiting for a gap in the traffic so they can enter lane one at 3mph to leave , last one was in an 18T rigid on the M1

I do hope it's all camera monitored because they're supposed to call on the phone, wait for the lane to be closed then be escorted out by the highways agency , you know so somebody doing 70 isn't suddenly up the arse of a truck

When you ring the operator asks you if you'd like the lane closed, or did at least when I rang. I declined as it was quiet and safely pulled out into lane one (ex hard sholder)

[High Jetter]

45 minutes ago, busmansholiday said:

Lockdown is easing so Mrs BMH has decided it's time to redecorate the house !

Shudder! Not a good time, cos (insert restrictions here)

[Wack]

4 hours ago, Lankytim said:

When you ring the operator asks you if you'd like the lane closed, or did at least when I rang. I declined as it was quiet and safely pulled out into lane one (ex hard sholder)

This was first day of release from lockdown 29th , it was very busy , so busy on the way back I was expecting to see a crash because I couldn't see how he could safely pull out from that position 

[Zelandeth]

Oh FFS.

The place I usually go for anything car related is still operating trade only.  So I turn around and go to Halfords.

Sign on the door "Maximum number of people in store: 27."

The queue for the checkout went all the way to the back of the store, crossed over past the parts desk, then looped about a third of the way back to the entrance.

Bit of very appropriate mental math later I reckon there's at least 150 people in the queue alone.

That's a hard nope from me, I never even got as far as fully walking in the door.

Guess I am ordering from Amazon then.  So much for the plan to do the oil and filter on the Jag this afternoon.

[Dan the van]

Got caught out in a similar fashion yesterday.Rocked up at my usual car parts place to be greeted by two long complicated printed A4 sheets taped to the window.Could only be bothered to read the bits in red,basically,bog off back home,order it on our crap website and then come back and we'll lob it out the door at you.Was only oil for the tractor so I got it from the ag merchant.Was pleased to find it was a fiver cheaper so not a total loss.

[hairnet]

did similar today

went out in the hairdressers car to buy some bits you can only get from m and s (yeah i know)

this was at 11am

car park mostly full but parked close ish

went to walk in and there was queue of at least 15 people waiting to go in

theres other shops an iceland and an aldi 100 ft away

no queues

wtf?!!

5 mins later i was home putting kettle on - m and s specific stuff can wait till another time

 

[Zelandeth]

57 minutes ago, Dan the van said:

Got caught out in a similar fashion yesterday.Rocked up at my usual car parts place to be greeted by two long complicated printed A4 sheets taped to the window.Could only be bothered to read the bits in red,basically,bog off back home,order it on our crap website and then come back and we'll lob it out the door at you.Was only oil for the tractor so I got it from the ag merchant.Was pleased to find it was a fiver cheaper so not a total loss.

Similar here.  They're open for click and collect - but that option only exists on the website for trade accounts as far as I can see.

Plus it's one of those maddening ones which only let you search for stuff it thinks is right based on your reg number - there's no "browse" option.  Which if you're just after something generic is absolutely infuriating - or as is the case with about 50% of the stuff for the Xantia, if the website's database is wrong.

[Dan the van]

It was a bit odd tbh because during lockdown v2 they were open as normal,even taking cash.Hey ho.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

49 minutes ago, hairnet said:

did similar today

went out in the hairdressers car to buy some bits you can only get from m and s (yeah i know)

this was at 11am

car park mostly full but parked close ish

went to walk in and there was queue of at least 15 people waiting to go in

theres other shops an iceland and an aldi 100 ft away

no queues

wtf?!!

5 mins later i was home putting kettle on - m and s specific stuff can wait till another time

 

This isn't just a queue. This is an M&S queue. 

[hairnet]

least its not dunnes stores :D

or a centra :D

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

13 minutes ago, hairnet said:

least its not dunnes stores

or a centra

 

I remember being in a Dunnes and thinking it was a sink of hell. Then I went to their Ennis branch and remembered it had been used as Ireland's largest lingerie department....

[Zelandeth]

Oh, also, April Fools Day can get in the sea.

It takes me far, far, far too long to figure out that about 50% of them I read are "jokes" just because of how my brain works. 

Especially stuff that pops up in the trade press etc which I automatically process as being a valid source of information.  Makes me feel an utter dunce an hour or so later when I realise that I've been taken in hook, line and sinker by it.

[Aston Martin]

Why does every cunt in a 320d, think they're in a works DTM car?

[chaseracer]

1 hour ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

I remember being in a Dunnes and thinking it was a sink of hell. Then I went to their Ennis branch and remembered it had been used as Ireland's largest lingerie department....

Was it Father Noel Furlong who took point? 

[chaseracer]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Oh, also, April Fools Day can get in the sea.

It takes me far, far, far too long to figure out that about 50% of them I read are "jokes" just because of how my brain works. 

Especially stuff that pops up in the trade press etc which I automatically process as being a valid source of information.  Makes me feel an utter dunce an hour or so later when I realise that I've been taken in hook, line and sinker by it.

VW's attempt worked well.

[Aston Martin]

3 minutes ago, chaseracer said:

VW's attempt worked well.

 

I don't buy it.

I think it was real, but because of the backlash. "Oh, erm it was a joke." 

[robinmasters]

3 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Similar here.  They're open for click and collect - but that option only exists on the website for trade accounts as far as I can see.

Plus it's one of those maddening ones which only let you search for stuff it thinks is right based on your reg number - there's no "browse" option.  Which if you're just after something generic is absolutely infuriating - or as is the case with about 50% of the stuff for the Xantia, if the website's database is wrong.

Euro Car Parts near me only lets you click and collect.

Which is fine. But then you get there, and the sign on the door says one customer at a time, please knock. But you can't see into the shop, and as they only have one person working on the front counter, they don't acknowledge your knock. So you're left standing outside, not knowing if they know you're waiting. 

Obviously their (deserved) reputation for getting orders wrong means it takes ages to serve at least every other customer. 

[High Jetter]

You're lucky. My branch has very pt servers. They only come out if there's no customers to scare them.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

2 hours ago, chaseracer said:

Was it Father Noel Furlong who took point? 

It was Father Billy first, then another priest took over from him. Father Deegan was the young Scots priest who had panic attacks!

[Pieman]

Why is it that everyone else can say anything to me in a sarcastic or "bantering" way, but as soon as I say anything to anyone along the same lines it creates a third world war and I get nothing but Resting Bitch Face and abuse for days afterwards, or not spoken to at all?

I think I'll just plan my funeral and leave them instructions to read out to everyone what a worthless cunt I was.

[Sham]

Whoever previously wired up my cars towbar electrics made me grumpy today.

When I bought the car, it had all but the detachable swan neck part of a Witter towbar installed, with a 7 pin electrics socket that had obviously been reversed against something because it was badly broken.

So, I bought a new swan neck tow ball and electrical socket. Fitted them today.

Should have checked before fitting the new socket, but assumed they were working  - No power to the electrics. Ok, so trace that all back and find that it's all scotchlocked into the cars loom and the main power feed to the generic bypass relay has no power. There's no extra connection to the battery and nothing I can see in the fusebox that looks like an add on. Now I have to trace the feed cable to wherever it goes so I can remove all that shit from the car and do it properly. That's a job for when I'm not quite so cross.

Fuckers.