The grumpy thread

[New POD]

3 hours ago, sierraman said:

I’ve come to the conclusion that half the private cars for sale aren’t actually for sale, all you get is ‘ring us in a week and we’ll sort something out’

Pistonheads for sale section improved once they started charging.  If advertisibg is free, people will take a chance, and price something a bit stupid to see if they get a bite. 

[artdjones]

3 hours ago, sierraman said:

I’ve come to the conclusion that half the private cars for sale aren’t actually for sale, all you get is ‘ring us in a week and we’ll sort something out’

One can only hope that while these people are "testing the waters" that they either drown or are eaten by a shark.

I'd never answer an ad that says that. One of the many hallmarks of an idiot.

[jakebullet]

Shitty fibre came and dug up my street for yonks, banged down a bit of crap tarmac and fucked off leaving mud everywhere. Except today the bastards are back, and digging up the exact same bits they dug up last time. So like last time there's now space for 3 cars, and 10 cars trying to get in them.

Bonus grump of Kinky girl had many hours of fun* pooing for England in preparation for her endoscope exam. Despite being drugged to insane levels they where unable to complete the procedure, so now waiting for a CT scan instead.

[twosmoke300]

1 hour ago, reb said:

I would like to formally retract this grump as DHL just texted me with the tracking number.

Your incorrect parts are winging their way to you at light speed 😂

[loserone]

10 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

Your parts

That's optimistic

[JMotor]

Little bit of a grump. 

Never watched his channel. 

But I certainly won't now! 

I would be less than impressed if he had came sniffing about my stuff! For very good reasons! 

Probably would chin the c*nt if he did! 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

27 minutes ago, JMotor said:

Little bit of a grump. 

Never watched his channel. 

But I certainly won't now! 

I would be less than impressed if he had came sniffing about my stuff! For very good reasons! 

Probably would chin the c*nt if he did! 

Possibly also a Court Order to get YouTube to help reveal the identity of "the bearded explorer" might be of assistance. After all, trespassers can be sued....

[Wack]

Estate agents 

This should be illegal 

How big is this room really

Unless they've started making 80" ×25" TVs

 

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

1 minute ago, Wack said:

Estate agents 

This should be illegal ...

Whoever originally said that the camera never lies clearly hadn't met an estate agent.

[High Jetter]

Seriously? You're really suggesting that those who deal in other people's misery property would ever mis-represent the facts? It's not as if they are highly paid and unprofessional profession trade.

(Also IIRC @beko1987 proved the TV lies in a photo he took at home last year)

[somewhatfoolish]

1 hour ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

Whoever originally said that the camera never lies clearly hadn't met an estate agent.

I would post a cartoon from VIZ, but it doesn't seem to exist online; it's a picture of an old-timey camera with the caption "The camera never lies" and a speechbubble from the camera that said "John Wayne was a Yugoslavian", which rather dates both the cartoon and me.

[wuvvum]

Question:  Why is Facebook Marketplace so thunderously shit?  I don't even mean the people who use it, I'm talking about the whole design of the site.

[High Jetter]

Just now, wuvvum said:

Why is Facebook shit? 

EFA. Just accept, dump, and move on.

[somewhatfoolish]

The volume of users means there are nuggets of gold lodged like winnets between the cheeks of the zuckerarse.

[greengartside]

I see carbaba.co.uk have decided to stop sharing as much info about a car’s history and change of ownership etc.

Fuck you.

[somewhatfoolish]

11 hours ago, Rovorsche said:

As a family we gained a kitten in lockdown.
It is mostly cute and fluffy.

Tonight It was fixated by the wind and all the 3D stuff going on in the garden, after a bottle of Lager it seemed like a benevolent act to take the kitten outside to see "All the things of wonderment"

It was transfixed until the the Gazebo canvas flapped and kitten tried to perform a Nipple-ectomy on me which is still bleeding.
Full depth claw penetration right in the centre of my Man Tit.

I feel like an out-take from a Pink Floyd video.

The approved Concise Uxbridge English Dictionary word is Moob [noun /muːb/].

[reb]

Volvo is refusing to start to take it to the workshop to fit a new starter. Funnily enough the starter is turning, but the (brand new) battery was flat as a pancake after only sitting a week. The fiesta doesn't have the power to jump it properly so now I'm sitting in the cold waiting for it to charge the battery enough to start the car. 

[Talbot]

13 hours ago, Rovorsche said:

It was transfixed until the the Gazebo canvas flapped and kitten tried to perform a Nipple-ectomy on me which is still bleeding.
Full depth claw penetration right in the centre of my Man Tit.

Noob cat owner error.  If there is any risk of a cat (in particular a kitten) extending its claws in fright, you hold the cat claws out.

Land-Rover off-Road?  Thumbs out.

Carrying an axe?  Blade out.

Carrying a kitten with 4 murder mittens?  Claws out.

It's just basic safety.

[Wack]

14 hours ago, Rovorsche said:

As a family we gained a kitten in lockdown.
It is mostly cute and fluffy.

Tonight It was fixated by the wind and all the 3D stuff going on in the garden, after a bottle of Lager it seemed like a benevolent act to take the kitten outside to see "All the things of wonderment"

It was transfixed until the the Gazebo canvas flapped and kitten tried to perform a Nipple-ectomy on me which is still bleeding.
Full depth claw penetration right in the centre of my Man Tit.

I feel like an out-take from a Pink Floyd video.

when I got divorced in 1992 we had a cat which stayed with me until the house was sold , I didn't like it and it didn't like me

It was sat on the window sill so I picked it up to put it outside , what I hadn't noticed was it was having a stare off with a cat outside, when I picked it up it went berserk , and I mean howling,spitting , claws out, fuck you you cunt all over my chest and bare arms , I had to pull it off and throw it to get the fucking thing away from me

An hour later it's round my ankles purring, OK you're still a cunt but I'm hungry

[New POD]

52 minutes ago, reb said:

Volvo is refusing to start to take it to the workshop to fit a new starter. Funnily enough the starter is turning, but the (brand new) battery was flat as a pancake after only sitting a week. The fiesta doesn't have the power to jump it properly so now I'm sitting in the cold waiting for it to charge the battery enough to start the car. 

Do you turn the engine on, for the fiesta? 

[motorpunk]

6 hours ago, Wack said:

when I got divorced in 1992 we had a cat which stayed with me until the house was sold , I didn't like it and it didn't like me

My divorce saw me end up with an untrained, mental, yappy dog. It shat in my daughters bed.  It once looked me in the eye and took a shit on the living room carpet, then (maintaining eye contact) dragged it's arse along for good measure. It was rehomed when I explained to my ex that I was going to kill it with my bare hands. And I would have. 

[reb]

15 minutes ago, New POD said:

Do you turn the engine on, for the fiesta? 

Yes, it's only got a tiny little battery and alternator though so it struggled. Got there in the end though!

[Wack]

16 hours ago, wuvvum said:

Question:  Why is Facebook Marketplace so thunderously shit?  I don't even mean the people who use it, I'm talking about the whole design of the site.

I just put in amplifier, highest price first to try and weed out all the 30 year old sony amps but it doesn't work because the asking price is £123.456 , I suppse just in case somebody offers 10 the £20 it's worth

 

These were some of the search results for amplifier

 

[Zelandeth]

...The fscking editor just ate the grump I was just writing.  Cannot be assed writing it again.

[goosey]

Exited the front door of my house this morning straight into a fucking cyclone which blew my boiling coffee all over my face, I was lucky as it was 4 am so there were no witnesses...............the wife has saved the footage of it from the ring doorbell and sent it to everyone she knows and has ever met. 

[GeorgeB]

1 hour ago, goosey said:

Exited the front door of my house this morning straight into a fucking cyclone which blew my boiling coffee all over my face, I was lucky as it was 4 am so there were no witnesses...............the wife has saved the footage of it from the ring doorbell and sent it to everyone she knows and has ever met. 

Come on, man, get it posted.

[High Jetter]

Not all surveillance is good surveillance!

[Wack]

9 hours ago, Wack said:

when I got divorced in 1992 we had a cat which stayed with me until the house was sold , I didn't like it and it didn't like me

It was sat on the window sill so I picked it up to put it outside , what I hadn't noticed was it was having a stare off with a cat outside, when I picked it up it went berserk , and I mean howling,spitting , claws out, fuck you you cunt all over my chest and bare arms , I had to pull it off and throw it to get the fucking thing away from me

An hour later it's round my ankles purring, OK you're still a cunt but I'm hungry

It was pretty much like this but chest and arms 

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMehwWJok/

[myglaren]

Hit the "Mark Forum Read" blob instead of entering the forum

 

 

Again  

 

[beko1987]

Went and bought 6 big plastic storage boxes this morning, our Co op has them for 3 for £12. Filled the boot with them! 

Got home, and popped the boot then got distracted and let it drop down. It's now latched and the boots full of boxes! The central locking bounces too. 

Best pop it manually when I've got the boxes out from the back seat and hope my coats dropped down or something simple, otherwise my excellent wiring repair last year has just failed somewhere!