The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

Aftershave that puts pussy off? Are you insane?

[Jim Bell]

 

 

if you know whos cat is doing it, chuck it over her / his garden. 

 

Thats an option man, but like I say, shes really nice. I'd still have to pick it up to chuck it over the fence so it just sounds like extra effort to be a cunt.

I'm gonna ask Cavcraft what aftershave he uses and splash out £5 on sixteen bottles of that.  Then I can SPLASH IT ON THE GARDEN ALL OVER.

 

Worth a punt eh?

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Cats are great...because you can run them over and not have to report it to the polis.

 

I ran one over once, going out of Bovingdon. Managed to find its owner, who was a bit surprised that someone actually bothered. I think she gave it a decent burial later.

 

An old mental health nurse who was also a game keeper years back told me if I had a cat problem, buy the cheapest nastiest aftershave and spray it around the garden, this will stop them from coming, ive never tried it so can't promise how effective it is

 

It probably worked for him.

[Talbot]

Very kind offer! Does it have back seats?

It does not.

 

Tits. This is a Bling multispace and is Mrs.T's kiddiewagon.

 

Just found out that to change an OMGHGF on one of these is 15hrs labour. 15?!!? turns out you have to take the turbo off first. To which there is no access whatsoever, which means you have to take the subframe off to take it off from below

 

I still have the engine from the "old" Berlingo, which is (I believe) identical.. I may be swapping engines quite soon. Just wish I had a driveway to do it on.

[alcyonecorporation]

I got sod all else. 

No offence, you're not borrowing the Impreza and I use my Leonard day to day. 

If you get stuck it's there. 

[Talbot]

Still a very kind offer.

 

TBH, what I should do is get the interior heater and the fuel gauge sorted on the Rofflewin Xantia, and that can be pressed in to service for a bit. Not an ideal vehicle to be using, but it's wheels.

[Bren]

Aftershave that puts pussy off? Are you insane?

Billy you obviously never applied hai karate.

[Daviedv]

There ought to be a feature on modernz whereby you can try the washer jets without the windscreen wipers automatically deploying, then when they inevitably turn out to be still frozen you can call off washing the screen until a later time, instead of 3 dry wipes making it 50 times worse.

You need an mgtf then, as you need to manually do the wipers everytime you use the washer jets.

[alcyonecorporation]

You need an mgtf then, as you need to manually do the wipers everytime you use the washer jets.

 

Yeah but having a spine is also important 

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

You're well within your rights to complain.  

 

 

 

Welcome to 2018.

[Talbot]

Welcome to 2018.

If they cocked up the re-installation of a part which is now causing an issue, I think a complaint would be reasonable even if it were not 2018.

[alcyonecorporation]

Welcome to 2018.

 

No, fuck your 2018. 2018 is wel shit. 

[meggersdog]

So we've has a bit of different weather yesterday and today.The schools are shut, my assistant hasn't come to work and I've had four cancellations.All because of some white fluffy stuff falling out of the sky. Yeak ok when it settles the ground becomes a bit slippy but it's only weather.

Left home a little earlier than normal to get to work.I'm in the Discovery with a full set of Turbo Insa s so the slippy conditions are no problem.I'm staying with the traffic (20mph) but a safe distance and I'm happy doing so.Why is it when these weather conditions occur the double cab 4x4 pick-up driver becomes a complete bell-end bullying other drivers and tailgating.You can get that close you are nudging my rear step if you want but I am not going any faster even though I'm capable of doing so.

[Rod/b]

Given everything that’s happened recently, this seems to make sense. You might not agree but if it helps one person then great.

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kamDDChUn0A

[neil1971]

That's not a bad idea. When it's this cold I use an old squeezy washing up bottle full of water as a substitute for the frozen washers, so can wash the screen on the move if there's nowhere safe to stop to do it. Just don't leave it in the car overnight of course or you'll just have two lots of useless frozen water instead of one

 

There ought to be a feature on modernz whereby you can try the washer jets without the windscreen wipers automatically deploying, then when they inevitably turn out to be still frozen you can call off washing the screen until a later time, instead of 3 dry wipes making it 50 times worse.

[Captain Furious]

There was one morning when it was compounded by the sun shining on it and I thought I was going to have to resort to the drink out of my lunch. 

 

I usually remember not to bother but sometimes its like a reflex immediately followed by "oh bollocks I shouldn't have done that"

[dollywobbler]

The Lexus is the only car on our fleet with this annoyance. I think I actually prefer operating the wipers myself thank you very much. On the 2CV, which has a hand-operated plunger, you can tell pretty quickly whether the fluid has frozen, as the plunger won't move. The Lexus also has the modern annoyance of the washer bottle being hidden down in the front wing somewhere, so it can't even benefit from engine heat. The Honda's washer bottle is parked right above the radiator.

[neil1971]

I forgot the squeezy bottle on Tuesday and used a bottle of drinking water I had in the car, but you can't get the liquid the necessary distance across the screen without a squeezy bottle, so not a great success and the fact that the cold gave the wipers the suppleness of your average plank probably didn't help much either

[dozeydustman]

I think mainly because Cats bury their poo so the risk of transmission of disease is substantially less compared with dogs.

 

 

Our demented tabby one thinks* it buried its turds. What it actually does is dig a hole in the litter box, craps somewhere else in the litter box, then fills the hole back up with litter. It is a total and utter retard.

 

Our second cat, (black one) is very playful, always chasing a toy or ball of screwed up paper/foil, and knows how to shit properly and doesn't pester anyone for food or attention.

[dozeydustman]

Insert post about how snow stops the south east and it’s ridiculous here

 

 

What snow? None here in Bognor and Chichester, aside from a half inch dusting yesterday morning. Hasn't stopped the great unwashed from panic buying though. Went into 5 supermarkets on the way home for some plain yoghurt and a bottle of milk. Nothing anywhere

[Jim Bell]

Thundersnow up here.

 

 

Thats most of a pallet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weve had 6 or 7 inches thus far.

*insert penis length joke and pic of Kenneth Williams pulling a ooooo! Face*

[timolloyd]

I trod in dog shit at the weekend in my mega grippy running trainers. Didn't bother cleaning it off, left trainers in garage. Put them on today for walk/bike to work, thinking all the snow would clean the soles.

 

I've been wading through anow since this morning. Sat back on the train and guess what I can smell?

[cpjitservices]

Fucking Aldi shitting meat!!! Pork shoulder and Mince has turned a day before the sell by.  Grrrrrr.

[oldcars]

Thundersnow up here.

 

20180228_155043.jpg

 

Thats most of a pallet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

20180228_155034.jpg

 

 

 

 

Weve had 6 or 7 inches thus far.

*insert penis length joke and pic of Kenneth Williams pulling a ooooo! Face*

You hang washing like me. My wife always give me a bollocking about it.

[Jim Bell]

You hang washing like me. My wife always give me a bollocking about it.

 

"I've told you a thousand times! Stops hanging out washing like WilsonWilson!"

 

Classic Mrs. Shumarialto.

[chaseracer]

Cats are ace! But yes, they are little shits. Ours does bugger all but complain when hungry. He was meant to be a mouser, but he'll sleep by the fire while mice trot merrily around the house. Hopeless.

 

Useful with a camera, though...

[cort1977]

Cats are dicks.

 

Working eh?

need to concentrate on that budget spreadsheet? 

This would be the perfect time for me to really loudly slurp at my minge for ten minutes straight.

 

That last one made me literally LOL, cheers for brightening my dull day.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

I trod in dog shit at the weekend in my mega grippy running trainers. Didn't bother cleaning it off, left trainers in garage. Put them on today for walk/bike to work, thinking all the snow would clean the soles.

 

I've been wading through anow since this morning. Sat back on the train and guess what I can smell?

 

If the train heating's working, I bet you'll be popular!

[andy18s]

You hang washing like me. My wife always give me a bollocking about it.

If she doesn't like how I hang it,then....

[John F]

IMG_0012.JPG

 

 

One’s too many, ten’s not enough!

 

Oh wow. You're really going for it in next year's count, aren't you? A magnificent effort!

 

Stealth cunts duly noted