The grumpy thread

[John F]

Rubbish. I have more cars than anyone.

 

I think a certain Mr Bickle might just have you beat on number of cars owned...

[eddyramrod]

"Aye, and they're all taxed, ticketed and insured.  So your cowardly passive/aggressive ANONYMOUS shit has no effect.  Goodbye."

Even better.  I wonder occasionally who it is that waits to pounce on my cars.  And how do they know they're all mine?  Oh... the Autoshite sticker each one wears might give that away...

[Bobthebeard]

I think a certain Mr Bickle might just have you beat on number of cars owned...

It was theoretical.... Meant in a.... Oh you know what I meant!

Some people round here have more kids, fireworks and massive trampolines in their gardens, but I don't stick notes on them.

Although I would like to...

[danthecapriman]

Even better.  I wonder occasionally who it is that waits to pounce on my cars.  And how do they know they're all mine?  Oh... the Autoshite sticker each one wears might give that away...

Get yourself a dashcam, one that records all the time even when the cars parked up. You'll find out then. The rest is your call how you deal with it!

[eddyramrod]

I have a dashcam, but I transfer it from car to car and also to my work van.  I got it after my MR2 was murdered (stable door/horse bolted, etc).  There's no way some fucking NIMBY is going to make me shell out for another one just to see who they are.  Well, not until they start damaging the cars at least...

[danthecapriman]

I'd really want to know. Imagine the look of horror on their face when you confront them!

At the moment they think they can use anonymity as cover but if you catch them on camera there's no hiding.

 

I was going to set mine up in my work van, which is parked on the street outside home.

Some dirty git was leaving dog shit all over the footpath down the street and I was intent on catching them at it. Strangely it stopped before I could though?

[meggersdog]

Not in the best of moods forgetting my pack lunch then the eleven o'clock mot turns up fifteen minutes late.Electric park brakes, first it screeches like crazy then locks on whilst on the ramp."oh yeah, it made that noise two weeks ago" says the owner "but that was the first time we've used it as the car's an auto" great it's stuck on the ramp making me behind with the next  two tests.Finally released after pulling the emergency release cable three times.

Then to top the day off.

Just reversing a car out when a transit pick-up reverses into the entrance and stops.

I get out of the car "what you doing ?"

"waiting for my mate"says he

"move your truck then"

"be a bit more civil" he says

"move your truck"

"he's only going to be a few minutes and you want be be a bit more civil" he says.

I reply" I don't care, move your truck"

his mate is at the garage next door "is this part of the garage?" he asks

"no"

"I'll move my truck then"

as he drives off he shouts "be a bit more civil next time"

ok next time it will be "oi you, you ignorant twat.Move your fucking truck please.I want to get out"

[Bobthebeard]

My grump. I think I have cracked or fractured a rib. Painful breathing and hurts to move. Was chopping logs and over swung ending up on my arse. Bah! Can still breathe and drive so no real impediment. Just painfull.

[Parky]

Advertisers - should you be representing a van retailer or a builders merchant, why not experiment with NOT using the ICF Male Voice Choir to sing your jingle?

[Parky]

Get yourself a dashcam, one that records all the time even when the cars parked up. You'll find out then. The rest is your call how you deal with it!

One word - Sheefag

[danthecapriman]

One word - Sheefag

Sheefag?? I don't get it?

[DodgeRover]

same as early mk1 disco or mgb comercial?

Not thought of the disco, will go out with a tape measure tomorrow

[Guest Hooli]

Sheefag?? I don't get it?

 

Random phone calls & argos catalogues.

[danthecapriman]

Random phone calls & argos catalogues.

Whaaa?

 

I think I've missed something?

[barefoot]

I was walking my dog Stephen the other morning. On the way home we walk through a car park where folk who just chuck balls for their dogs park their motor cars. I noticed a Toyota C-HR appeared to have been left with its side lights on.

Sadly no, the woman lobbing balls about for her two dogs had only left the engine running.

That'll save the planet, I'm sure.

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Jesus’ birthday is in 45 days time.

Great Britain’s retail industry have sole advertising rights to this celebration.

At some point in the last 24 hours, someone at GB retail HQ has pressed the big, fat overdrive button on relentlessly reminding the nation of this celebration, and how it’s an important tradition to:

 

* Buy cheap Chinese tat which our friends and families didn’t know they required;

* Stockpile household goods on an industrial scale;

* Light interior bonfires;

* Entertain suggestions from an alcoholic, bearded vagrant;

* Replace our sofas;

* Support the battery-reared turkey industry;

* Ensure we embrace the concept of future debt, because it’s Christmas;

* Start asking people who we may not like to visit our homes.

 

This is day 45.

 

Which day will Noddy bloody Holder be telling us it’s Christmas? I reckon they’ll have put his annual batteries back in before the end of the month...

 

Eloquent Eric has it nailed:

 

 

His lyrics need printing onto Christmas paper...

 

Lyrics for Fuck Christmas by Eric Idle

Fuck Christmas!

It's a waste of fucking time

Fuck Santa

He's just out to get your dime

Fuck Holly and fuck Ivy

And fuck all that mistletoe

White-bearded big fat bastards

Ringing bells where e'er you go

And bloated men in shopping malls

All going Ho-Ho-Ho

It's Christmas fucking time again!

 

Fuck Christmas

It's a fucking Disney show

Fuck carols

And all that fucking snow

Fuck reindeer

And fuck Rudolph

And his stupid fucking nose

And fucking sleigh bells tinkling

Everywhere you fucking goes

Fuck stockings and fuck shopping

It just drives us all insane

Go tell the elves

To fuck themselves

It's Christmas time again!

[cort1977]

Passing on the inside seems like a very emotive thing in the UK. Someone on here got very annoyed with me a while ago when I said that I did when I was in the UK.

 

The Mrs was looking at Mumsnet the other day (don't go there it's scary) and there were hundreds of ill-informed posts saying it's illegal and that all nuns and kittens in the known universe will instantly die if you do it.

 

We had a discussion about it and when I looked in to it passing on the inside doesn't seem to be illegal, HC says you should pass on the outside but also says you can pass slower moving traffic on the inside if your lane ahead is clear.

 

Last time I was over I did it a few times without thinking as it's the norm for me now. Is it really super dangerous? Or just not the done thing?   Most other countries seem to have no problem with it although admittedly many like the US have far bigger issues with driving standards.

[bramz7]

So for once I've sold a car and haven't yet bought a replacement. Normally this would be good but seeing as i drive to work and have to go to Scotland in 8 days, it's a bit of a priority. I've got one confirmed car to view tomorrow (a really early 306) and can't decide if I can be bothered to go to Brixton on a Saturday to view that Rover 418GSD. 

 

Also neither are making me super excited like getting previous cars have. I am just a bit meh about it all. There is nothing else online I want too. Tidy gold BX Athena notwithstanding of course...but £799 for an MOT'd barn find is a bit rich.

[wuvvum]

Giffer Rover, which has been parked round the corner since Wednesday, had a "don't park here" note under the wipers today, with a PS "you have more cars than anyone."  I've filed it under B for Bin, obvs, but it doesn't do much for my mood (regardless of how true it is!  Yes, I do have more cars than anyone, it's not my fault the street is all terraced with no driveways though, is it?).

Also, to be fair, one of your cars is about 5x the size of everyone else's [or about 1.005x the size of a new shape Honda Civic].

[dollywobbler]

However, that said I do find that certain sections of Active motorways - such as the M42 North between Solihull and the A45 - you get a free run, an entire lane to yourself even if lanes 2/3/4 are at standstill. Nobody uses it! You can easily pass a couple of hundred stationary cars.

 

Yup, did that all the way from the A45 to the A34 this evening. Lovely.

[eddyramrod]

I've worked out what the problem is.  And it's straight out of a 1960s Bond spoof.  

 

The population of the entire world is being fed something or other that reduces their capacity for consideration, logic, sense, reasoning or empathy, and replaces it with hysteria, greed, duplicity, entitlement and general stupidity.  I don't know what it's being hidden in, but it's obviously something I don't consume because it appears only I can see what's happening.  But how do I find out what exactly is being used?  What do I do about it?

This is where we find out I'm not Derek Flint, or even Austin Powers.

[chaseracer]

Which day will Noddy bloody Holder be telling us it’s Christmas? I reckon they’ll have put his annual batteries back in before the end of the month...

 

 

[Angrydicky]

Anyone up for a shite meet at Eddy's house?

[clayts450]

So for once I've sold a car and haven't yet bought a replacement. Normally this would be good but seeing as i drive to work and have to go to Scotland in 8 days, it's a bit of a priority. I've got one confirmed car to view tomorrow (a really early 306) and can't decide if I can be bothered to go to Brixton on a Saturday to view that Rover 418GSD. 

 

Also neither are making me super excited like getting previous cars have. I am just a bit meh about it all. There is nothing else online I want too. Tidy gold BX Athena notwithstanding of course...but £799 for an MOT'd barn find is a bit rich.

 

 

Oooh, is it this 418 ? I seem to remember 'tatting' that one a while back. 

 

[uk_senator]

Passing on the inside seems like a very emotive thing in the UK. Someone on here got very annoyed with me a while ago when I said that I did when I was in the UK.

 

The Mrs was looking at Mumsnet the other day (don't go there it's scary) and there were hundreds of ill-informed posts saying it's illegal and that all nuns and kittens in the known universe will instantly die if you do it.

 

We had a discussion about it and when I looked in to it passing on the inside doesn't seem to be illegal, HC says you should pass on the outside but also says you can pass slower moving traffic on the inside if your lane ahead is clear.

 

Last time I was over I did it a few times without thinking as it's the norm for me now. Is it really super dangerous? Or just not the done thing?   Most other countries seem to have no problem with it although admittedly many like the US have far bigger issues with driving standards.

A couple of weeks ago I had a new Merc refusing to get out of my way on the north circ (main inner london arterial dual carriageway), I went to undertake him after a while, he took exception, cutting me up, so gone to overtake him, cuts me up again.. He then slows to 20mph (on a 40-50mph road), & continues to cut me up every time I go to go round him... Other cars are undertaking at 50 by this stage.

 

After a couple of miles he`s started taking an exit ramp, so I`ve gone up next to him, shrugging & shaking my head "why", he`s giving me "w**ker" signs & "offering me out" for a fight... I`ve just thought bollocks to this & started accelerating away.. He`s then come back off the exit ramp, overtaken me & started pulling the same stunt.. Then he`s undertaken me again & started offering me out again, WHILE DRINKING FROM A VODKA BOTTLE... 

 

He must have then realised that he`d gone past his exit to do all this & stopped being a tosser, coming off at the next exit.

 

I reported him when I got in for drinking while driving (shame he did it next to me, my dashcam didnt get that bit).

 

So yes, undertaking, especially undertaking arrogant, alcoholic dicks, while driving autoshite (I was in my Uno) is very much not the thing to do..

[anonymous user]

Anyone up for a shite meet at Eddy's house?

I would, but there's never anywhere to park around there

[eddyramrod]

Just park in the next street.  Then I can watch for which neighbour goes out for a pack of envelopes! (That's what these love* letters are always written on...)

[clayts450]

Maybe you can plant this in their garden when you find out who it is

 

[eddyramrod]

Garden....... hahahahahah!  Have you seen where I am?

[clayts450]

D'oh - which bit of 'terraced' did I not understand ?

 

You could try posting it through their letterbox maybe ?