The grumpy thread

[chaseracer]

Anyway...

 

How do you know you're getting on a bit?  When it's Tuesday, and you still haven't shifted the "48hr flu bug" you picked up last Wednesday.

 

Arsebiscuits.

 

[Pillock]

I ued to get fails every MOT on my Focus because the beam pattern was off - and it was always the spring clip. That thing blew bulbs for fun, and they never sat properly.

Looking at the MOT history since I sold it, still the same. Offside one year, nearside the next.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Really?

When a dead bird with the bloody contents of its chest hanging out and full of wasps/flies feeding of it are found laying on the bonnet of your car it's not exactly a moment to be smiling and joyous, especially as you have to move it off the car. It's not nice.

The paintwork on the Rover is nothing to shout about and there are no obvious dents or scratches. It probably was a cat or it fell out of the tree but as the Rover hasn't moved for so long (battery dead) I did get a few ideas that were a bit over board. Anyway, Rover no longer has a dead bloody bird on the bonnet and the tyre is pumped up again so all is well at the moment.

Sorry to say that is probably the only bird you will ever find sprawled across that Rovers bonnet....

[Des]

I'd sooner have a dead bird on the bonnet than a dead battery under.

[alcyonecorporation]

This has gone very dark all of a sudden. 

[cobblers]

and so close to the 20th anniversary of her death. sad.

[garethj]

I have a grump and perhaps it's because I'm getting old - music.

 

There's some quite good songs out there in the modern world so I'm far from saying all modern music is shit, but if I hear one more song where the bloke talks about a motherfucking nigga I think I'm going to have a nosebleed.  I get it, you can swear, ooooh, you're so dangerous, ooooh.  Am I supposed to be shocked?

 

I'm not shocked, my feelings are pity and boredom.  If you're going to make a song, y'know, music and lyrics, do you think you should spend a bit more time trying to find a word that rhymes with "key", other than "key"?  And while we're at it, stop telling me that you're so brilliant.  Confidence can be an attractive quality but arrogance, not so much.  And when you've been around for a while you know not to trust people who tell you what to think about them.  "I'm mad, me, LOL!" or "I'm a caring person".

 

And for people who tell you they're brilliant, it's like double points on the wanker-ometer.

 

I like listening to new music, there's a bit of my brain that says I have to so I can hear new, good stuff but honestly it's hard work sometimes.

[Cavcraft]

Another person at work ringing and saying 'Oos that?' when I answer.

I hope 'phone back when you've learnt some fucking manners' sinks in, but I doubt it.

The 'phone is ringing its head off now, think I'll avoid it fir a few more minutes.

[beko1987]

Another person at work ringing and saying 'Oos that?' when I answer.

I hope 'phone back when you've learnt some fucking manners' sinks in, but I doubt it.

The 'phone is ringing its head off now, think I'll avoid it fir a few more minutes.

Our 'scary' MD does this occasionally, phones the office hunt group number as a spot test and see's how they answer. Always hilarious when one of the new girls answers who have never been trained properly and gets an utter bollocking!

 

I was taught the intro script so never got caught out, and now I don't have a phone so result there! (well I do, but never need to receive a call so it stays on do not disturb all the time!)

[Heidel_Kakao]

When people struggle to give away a free car do you ever wonder if the problem is not entirely the fault of the "buyers" but some responsibility may lie with the person giving away the car.

 

Piss poor comm skills really get on my nerves it's not like it takes much effort to say it's already gone or what the current situation is. Meh that is my venting for the day and it's not like I even need any more cars but still.

 

It's nothing to do with anyone on here by the way so rest easy lol.

[Pillock]

I have people phone the house phone... "Who's that?"

"Who were you phoning?"

"Is that you?"

"I hope so. If I'm someone else then who is me right now?"

"Errr. Is that you Graham?"

"Wrong number mate"

 

Had they led with "Hello, is that Graham" then we could have saved seconds there.

[Pillock]

Grump. Someone's sideswiped my car in the night and made off. Scrapes on the wing, a chunk missing out the bumper, the alloy is scraped and it's punctured the tyre.

 

There's a few bits of random angle iron and reflective tape around so I reckon it's a trailer that's hit it. The bumper damage certainly looks like a protruding bolt has torn into it. Plus, they've missed the wing mirror entirely yet scuffed the wing six inches lower down.

 

Made a racket enough to get me out of bed but clearly they didn't want to stop. I hope their genitals forever have a visually disgusting fungal infection.

[tooSavvy]

I have a grump and perhaps it's because I'm getting old - music.

 

There's some quite good songs out there in the modern world so I'm far from saying all modern music is shit

I'm currently suffering 'lack of exposure to NM' cos I'm not out all day in a van.

 

I do, however, suffer a nosebleed inducing 'low/slow replay' of godawful rapesqe dirges... courtesy of anklebiter doing gesticulations on Musically [seems you play the song slowwwww and practice hand movements.. Then replay at normal and con yourself you are snappy kool????] ...whatever.

 

There is shitloads of good music all over the place and not just at live venues/intro stages @ festivals.

 

Self publishing on utoob can get new stuff off the ground.

 

 

No one seems to be John Peel, sadly

 

 

 

TS

[alcyonecorporation]

My bin is full of "letters". 
People are on one at the moment. "Tell the truth" to my Brabantia, bro. 

At the moment the van isn't going to help pay much debt back. Maybe I should have stuck a VW badge on the front. 

[M'coli]

Really?

 

When a dead bird with the bloody contents of its chest hanging out and full of wasps/flies feeding of it are found laying on the bonnet of your car it's not exactly a moment to be smiling and joyous, especially as you have to move it off the car. It's not nice.

 

The paintwork on the Rover is nothing to shout about and there are no obvious dents or scratches. It probably was a cat or it fell out of the tree but as the Rover hasn't moved for so long (battery dead) I did get a few ideas that were a bit over board. Anyway, Rover no longer has a dead bloody bird on the bonnet and the tyre is pumped up again so all is well at the moment.

I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the victim of a bird of prey - what is surprising is that it hadn't been scavenged by a crow or something else.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Just had to walk out of sorts direct (yeah I known already). They're the only place that have my size shoes in store.

 

One guy on shoes. No one else. All I want is for him to look in the back see if my size are there. I spoke to him but his attention was taken up by two stupid fat motherfuckers both with about 3 kids each trying on hundreds of fucking shoes. He's on the radio so some women who brought out about 6 boxes while they already had about 10 on the floor...

 

I can order them from the Internet or even Amazon but the greedy fuckers want £5 postage even if you get them sent to a shop.

[mercedade]

I can order them from the Internet or even Amazon but the greedy fuckers want £5 postage even if you get them sent to a shop

 

Aren't they £5 cheaper online? I remember my brilliant* plan to avoid rip off postal charges from Sports Direct involved me getting a bus to the nearest shop and then paying the exact same price as if I'd combined product and postage in the first place.

[alcyonecorporation]

Just had to an out of sorts direct (yeah I known already). They're the only place that have my size shoes in store.

 

One guy on shoes. No one else. All I want is to him to have a look in the back see if my size are there. I spoke to him but his attention was taken up by two stupid fat mother fuckers both with a out 3 kids each trying on hundreds of fucking shoes. He's on the radio so some women who brought out about 6 boxes while they already had about 10 on the floor...

 

I can order them from the Internet or even Amazon but the greedy fuckers want £5 postage even if you get them sent to a shop

 

Auto correct is another thing on the list. 

[chaseracer]

Our 'scary' MD does this occasionally, phones the office hunt group number as a spot test and see's how they answer. Always hilarious when one of the new girls answers who have never been trained properly and gets an utter bollocking!

 

Professional opinion: your boss is a bullying bellend with tendencies toward sociopathic narcissism.

[eddyramrod]

Professional opinion: your boss is a bullying bellend with tendencies toward sociopathic narcissism.

Agreed, GTF out of there quick, and take anyone and everyone you can with you.

 

When people struggle to give away a free car do you ever wonder if the problem is not entirely the fault of the "buyers" but some responsibility may lie with the person giving away the car.

 

Piss poor comm skills really get on my nerves it's not like it takes much effort to say it's already gone or what the current situation is. Meh that is my venting for the day and it's not like I even need anymore cars but still.

 

It's nothing to do with anyone on here by the way so rest easy lol.

I do understand that.  OTOH where are all your PMs about my free Rover?

 

 

There's some quite good songs out there in the modern world so I'm far from saying all modern music is shit,

 

That part of your sentence is 100% RONG.  The other half of it was totally correct.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Aren't they £5 cheaper online? I remember my brilliant* plan to avoid rip off postal charges from Sports Direct involved me getting a bus to the nearest shop and then paying the exact same price as if I'd combined product and postage in the first place.

Nope exactly the same price both their website, amazon and I think on eBay too.

 

And to who ever said speel check. I was being pestered in burger King by my son when I wrote it so I didn't spell check or proof read but I've done it all for you now

[Sheefag]

beko, if you forward me your boss's phone number, I'm happy to test his telephone manner AT 03.45 IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

I have some considerable previous experience in this field, hth.

[Tamworthbay]

Dreams? fucking nightmare more like. Ordered a mattress during their sale which arrived today. When we unpacked it it's got a hole in the corner. Phoned up to be told 'cant replace it as it was a sale special and are out of stock' but we can give you credit against another one - not on sale though as it's ended. I managed (just) to keep my reply free of Anglo Saxon. The woman was of the dilligaf variety of customer service. Waiting for a phone call from the manager (6 hours and counting), bet it won't happen. Well the fuckers will be getting a claim back on the card or small claims action if needed, whilst I will sleep on their fucked up mattress.

 

Is it only me or do other people find it increasingly difficult to get what you pay for these days? Most things I deal with seem to have some hassle or other involved because the twats don't do what you pay them to do.

[Pillock]

If you bought it online, then you've got 14 days to return it. TEH LAW.

[alcyonecorporation]

Dreams? fucking nightmare more like. Ordered a mattress during their sale which arrived today. When we unpacked it it's got a hole in the corner. Phoned up to be told 'cant replace it as it was a sale special and are out of stock' but we can give you credit against another one - not on sale though as it's ended. I managed (just) to keep my reply free of Anglo Saxon. The woman was of the dilligaf variety of customer service. Waiting for a phone call from the manager (6 hours and counting), bet it won't happen. Well the fuckers will be getting a claim back on the card or small claims action if needed, whilst I will sleep on their fucked up mattress.

 

Is it only me or do other people find it increasingly difficult to get what you pay for these days? Most things I deal with seem to have some hassle or other involved because the twats don't do what you pay them to do.

 

Do Dreams still do that affiliated degree? 

[chaseracer]

beko, if you forward me your boss's phone number, I'm happy to test his telephone manner AT 03.45 IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

I have some considerable previous experience in this field, hth.

 

Please ensure the RECORD function is enabled.

[Sheefag]

Which time?

[AlabamaShrimp]

Please ask for Dave or if he has a block in his toilet

[dave21478]

Everything is shit. Everything.

 

R&B music? its shit. all of it. Rhythm and Blues to me means Cab Calloway, Ray Charles etc etc....good fucking music right there. Modern R&B sung by wannabe gangsters who say "nigger" every sentence can Fuck. Right. Off. Out. Of. Town. Seriously - they all need gassed.

 

I needed to change a toilet fill mechanism today. The old one is ancient and started leaking. Not repairable. I bought a new one to replace it....No fucking about, bought the dearest in the shop as the cheaper ones looked fucking terrible. "Silent fill" they say. The old one was silent, right enough. This new piece of wank sounds like the space shuttle taking off. I would return it, but had to take the fucking angle grinder to it just to get the fucker to fit in the first place....these things are fairly standard and should swap right over with no fuss, but getting the length of the inlet pipe right is obviously beyond the skill of the makers.

 

The MGF is shit. They are super rare here....you just dont see any others on the road so apparently people dont know what it is and seem to mistake it for something actually fast or valuable. As such every cunt from wide-boys in hot hatches to bellend taxi drivers just absofuckinglutely MUST "race" me at all times and do everything possible to get past me, even if that means pulling wildly dangerous overtakes. Im sick of it. 

 

LeBonCoin is shit. Well, its not shit itself, its the dicks that use it who are shit. Here is a fucking tip - if you have sold your item, REMOVE THE FUCKING ADVERT and dont get the hump with me for phoning to see about buying it. 

Also, typing phonetically isnt big or clever, probably doesnt save you any time, makes you sound like a braindead moron and I almost certainly dont want to deal with you.

 

My neighbours are shit. I am good at fixing things, but am not a fucking miracle worker. "We bought a new printer and cant get it to work, can you....."etc. I dont know a lot about computers, but I can do the basics like printers, know how to use google effectively and can follow instructions, so by local standards that makes me some kind of Bill Gates tier IT hero. I go round to find an old laptop running Vista. No exageration, it takes a solid six minutes to boot up and another full ninety seconds to open a browser window. Its like some kind of Reddit meme with seven different tool bars taking up the top quarter of the screen and the home page is some shady looking search page that nobody has ever heard of.

Uhh.....yyyyeah.....im not sure about this......  Then I see its running McAfee trial version that looks like it hasnt had an update since about 2003. Fuck this. Cant help you, sorry.

Three days later they have "been pirated" and someone has spent several hundred on their bank card in various countries around the world. The implication was that I somehow let this happen by notfixing their computer previously. Well, thats them all out of favours from me thats for fucking sure.

 

Other neighbour has recently got a collie puppy to go with their elderly Barbara Cartland dog. I know its only young, but its hopelessly, laughably disobedient and as soon as they open the door it fucks off at warp factor three down the road and the guy just shouts and shouts after it trying to get it to come back. It also likes to bark non-stop for hours at a time when they are not home. Cunt. Not sure if I mean the dog or the owner, but "cunt" generally.

[purplebargeken]

Mo, a dead bird on the bonnet is better than a horses head in the bed. Possibly.