The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

The last Hilux we had at work was anything but invincible.

[beko1987]

Been sitting here for 20 minutes and this cock has been on the brakes the whole time!

 

[Mr A Lawrence]

^^this is why we've got that guarantee that no matter what happens it'll be fixed or replaced.

We've had all the motor and belts for the dryer and a total new washer for nothing so far.

We had it on our last one and had loads replaced under warranty until it went pop a month after it ran out.

 

We got it on this one but due to a house move and some shit administration skills it got cancelled without our knowledge.

 

Expensive lesson learned.

 

The new one is a multi load 10kg wifi enabled British* made "rolls royce" of a machine!!

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Well it looks like me and the wife are calling it a day . All amicable so far but I expect that will all change

ANother one with the book, t-shirt etc....

From my 'time' - implode - nuclear war - chernobyl type exclusion zone helped a fair bit - only comms via text or email so it's all on record.... then nuclear winter set in and eventually mutated natural growth re-appeared......  luckily (and it was/is bloody hard work) my son was kept out of it as much as possible (as I'm sure all parents try).

 

very best of luck fella.

[5speedracer]

Been sitting here for 20 minutes and this cock has been on the brakes the whole time!

 

IMG_20170905_092401.jpg

Probably "hold" function rather than using handbrake and flipping it into neutral. Lazy!

[gordonbennet]

I don't normally read this thread, but had to have a grump after Sunday afternoon. 

 

We were out driving in my wife's (diesel) car, and stopped to fill up. Being truly awful weather I offered to fill it up for her so she could remain in the dry. 43 litres later, I replaced the unleaded nozzle, and promptly shouted "FUUUUCCCCCKKKK!"

 

Fortunately didn't try and start it, so got a recovery back home (apparently now the most common breakdown they see, but we were the first to get recovery back home rather than to a garage!) First thought was to siphon from the filler neck, but there appeared to be baffles present solely to piss me off.

 

Next step was to disconnect the pipe from the tank pickup, and siphon from there. That went well, albeit slowly due to the size of the pipe. Until the tank level got lower - as there is a 'hump' in the centre of the tank to clear the exhaust/propshaft and the fuel is transferred to the pickup side via a pump. This was not enough to keep up with the rate I was siphoning off, so the flow kept drying up. Followed by lots of sucking, and mouthfuls of petrol as the bubbles formed and the fuel shot up the pipe

 

So followed a minute or so of draining, with several minutes with my finger over the pipe to block the flow. This worked until the car decided the level was too low for the in-tank pump to run, but by reckoning there was still another gallon in there. So removed the pickup/level sender assembly, and bent a length of copper tube to go in the top, over the hump and down the other side.

 

57 litres later it was dry, and filled with 25 litres (all I had) of diesel. I've put in more today, and all seems fine but it's a waste of 6 hours. Plenty of dieselly petrol (~20% mix) which I reckon will be OK to put in the Stellar. Maybe a bit smoky but hopefully not too bad?

Top man i'm bloody impressed, got the stuff out and going to use it in the other motor.

 

Always worth asking a car transporter driver of a certain age how to get fuel out, they usually can guess* the best method, so i'm told.

 

Like Wuvvum how the hell i haven't done it as i get increasingly more forgetful as i get older, if that were even possible, is amazing.

[bub2006]

Well im home. Bored shitless. Cant get out. Hopefully someone shoukd be herevto look at the focus so if it goes ive got to find an auto. Knowing my bloody luck though it wont

[Guest Hooli]

I can confirm when a garage uses a green nozzle for diesel a '76 Bonnie will idle on diesel with a lot of smoke. Pinks like feck if you touch the throttle though.

[Supernaut]

The new one is a multi load 10kg wifi enabled British* made "rolls royce" of a machine!!

AAARGH INTERNET OF THINGS!

 

*has a nervous breakdown*

[D Spares & Tyres]

A V8 Landrover will run on 60% diesel so long as you leave the choke out☺

[wuvvum]

The new one is a multi load 10kg wifi enabled British* made "rolls royce" of a machine!!

Why the actual cunting fuck do you need wifi on a fucking washing machine???

[Guest Hooli]

Why the actual cunting fuck do you need wifi on a fucking washing machine???

To automatically order you washing powder of course,.

[clayts450]

Angry at myself for running a red light and today got the anticipated postal slap from the rozzers. 

 

Luckily* I can go on a £92 half day course to avoid points/prosecution....

 

Bang to rights, and no mistake guvnor

[Mr A Lawrence]

Why the actual cunting fuck do you need wifi on a fucking washing machine???

So the wife can connect it to her phone and use it in the following scenarios......

 

1, start it remotely if she's forgotten to turn it on.

2, use the clean & service functions

3, see if it's finished its cycle instead of walking into the kitchen 10 feet away

4, remotely pause it mid cycle in case it wakes the neighbours/dogs/me up.

 

I didn't really know what wifi on a washing machine would add to our busy* lifestyle but it's the future man.

[Des]

Why the actual cunting fuck do you need wifi on a fucking washing machine???

To complain to the internet of the inevitable failure, in rather short order, of the fucking modern shit.

[mercrocker]

I can imagine Mrs Rocker with a wi-fi washing machine.   She has only had automatics for about 15 years - before that she was a modern 50s twin-tub wifey.   

 

She doesn't even take her eyes off the bastard during the wash cycle in case it springs a leak or otherwise malfunctions.   "We could go out, love, it will switch itself off...." does not wash with her (see what I did there...)

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Why the actual cunting fuck do you need wifi on a fucking washing machine???

 

So it can tweet it's not managed to remove the skidmarks........... undoubtedly.

I don't see the problem with slapping it on timer if you don't want the washing sitting in the machine wet all day - we really are coming up with new and improved ways to increase obesity!

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Manners - I know it's a subject that's hammered into sumbission - but it really gets on my tits...........

 

1.    I'm the father to a 7yr old....... and luckily get regular comments on how well mannered he is (it'll change as he approaches puberty I know!) - but I can't understand how other parents, with kids in tow can barge a child out of the way as if they don't exist. You're supposed to be setting the example you pricks! You're the first to complain if any kids don't show the resepct you 'deserve' being an elder....... it' a two way street pal - fucking earn it!

 

2.   How can anyone with bloody eyes sit and ignore an elderly (older than me even!) gent/lady or pregnant commuter and not have the decency to use their own younger/none pregnant legs to support themselves for the few minutes they're on the damn Metro? Byron rockets out of his seat without any prompting and I'm right there with him.

I've tried explaining that we're not all taught/brought up the same way - and have tried to stop him from loudly pointing out the ignorance of those around us....... but to be honest I'm now out of excuses for others shitty attitudes. If they don't appreciate being shamed for their selfish behaviour by a 7yr old - f*** 'em! He can say it - it might actually make the lazy ignorant twunts think a bit........

 

sorry - rant over!

[Parky]

Agree with that.

 

My 13 year old son is a stroppy little shit at home but outside he is a thoroughly mature young man. I think the 7 years of martial arts taught him something.

 

My Nan taught me manners - basic stuff like holding doors open, giving up a seat, gentleman pays and walks on the outside, that sort of thing. I still do all of it, manners maketh the man after all.

[AlabamaShrimp]

My sons 7 and it's nearly the same.

 

Thing with me I ran out of excuses pretty fast and just tell him straight that some people are knob heads, they'll never understand what they've done even if you told them 20 times a d you just be as good as you can.

[Cavcraft]

Amen to the manners bit, it probably explains the grunting morons on Gumtree and Facebook who just a figure (stupidly low, obvs) and no actual comment in when you advertise something.

[Supernaut]

On the subject of helping the old and frail etc. I remember in my early 20s I was parked up in my scabby 306, dressed in my usual "grunge band roadie" garb waiting for my girlfriend at the time. I was picking her up from the hairdressers or something. Anyway, an old woman walking past on the pavement tripped over. I immediately jumped out of the car, leaving the door open and the keys in (still blaring some heavy metal) and helped her up. The look on her face! She probably thought I was going to mug her! Made my day, that did.

 

 

 

 

gentleman pays and walks on the outside

A few dates I've been on in the past couple of years... If I try to pay for the coffees all by myself I get dirty looks. They've not turned into second dates funnily enough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amen to the manners bit, it probably explains the grunting morons on Gumtree and Facebook who just a figure (stupidly low, obvs) and no actual comment in when you advertise something.

I think we've covered that before, haven't we? It's rubbish design on gumtree's part. If you fill in the 'make an offer' box, it simply sends the number as a message to the seller.

[dave21478]

Wifi washing machines can FUCK RIGHT OFF OUT OF TOWN. Nobody - and I do mean fucking NOBODY needs a wifi washing machine. It's just yet another example of cuntish designers and manufacturers telling people what they "need" and the sheep go along with it because people are now taught since they were toddlers that they need the latest best newest shiniest etc...

From an enviro-hippy point of view resources are dwindling and we are approaching a real actual energy crisis....ideal time to put a load of superfluous electronic shit on a kitchen appliance.

From a consumer point of view washing machines have been getting less reliable every year so how can adding a load of wifi shit possibly make it better?

The designers need to take that wifi shit out and ram it right up their arses. The money saved would be a lot better spent on better bearings, a better motor and stuff like that.... you know, actually useful stuff.

And while they are doing that, they can ram stuff like touch screen controls down their Japs eyes. Do you know what I DON'T want to do when I switch on a washing machine? I don't want to stand there like a tit for 20 seconds while the cunt boots up. Washing machines don't need to BOOT UP they don't need any electronics at all... It's a fucking metal box that sits in often damp rooms that spins your clothes round and gets them wet.... Vibrations and damp.... Shit conditions for electronics, ideal conditions for electro-mechanical switches... You know... Like they used to be 40 fucking years ago when they didn't break down irreparably after two years.

[Eddie Honda]

You know... Like they used to be 40 fucking years ago when they didn't break down irreparably after two years.

And cost a bloody month's wages. Probably.

[dave21478]

Aye they might have been dear but when you could literally pass the thing on to your children like a family heirloom because it still worked as good as the day it was bought 30odd years later it was a good investment.

[dollywobbler]

A few dates I've been on in the past couple of years... If I try to pay for the coffees all by myself I get dirty looks. They've not turned into second dates funnily enough.

 

 

Seem to recall Mrs DW insisted on splitting the bill on our first date. She doesn't go in for this 'gentleman' guff, which is a good job really! I think most women agree that the desire for more equality goes both ways.

 

Speaking of which, I was very distressed to learn that my six-year old niece apparently wants to be a boy, because they get to be engineers and stuff. How the heck has she got that in her head at six?! Chatting with other kids at school apparently. She certain't hasn't been nurtured into that mindset. I'm making a mental note to convince her otherwise on our next visit.

[Supernaut]

Wifi washing machines can FUCK RIGHT OFF OUT OF TOWN. Nobody - and I do mean fucking NOBODY needs a wifi washing machine. It's just yet another example of cuntish designers and manufacturers telling people what they "need" and the sheep go along with it because people are now taught since they were toddlers that they need the latest best newest shiniest etc...

From an enviro-hippy point of view resources are dwindling and we are approaching a real actual energy crisis....ideal time to put a load of superfluous electronic shit on a kitchen appliance.

From a consumer point of view washing machines have been getting less reliable every year so how can adding a load of wifi shit possibly make it better?

The designers need to take that wifi shit out and ram it right up their arses. The money saved would be a lot better spent on better bearings, a better motor and stuff like that.... you know, actually useful stuff.

And while they are doing that, they can ram stuff like touch screen controls down their Japs eyes. Do you know what I DON'T want to do when I switch on a washing machine? I don't want to stand there like a tit for 20 seconds while the cunt boots up. Washing machines don't need to BOOT UP they don't need any electronics at all... It's a fucking metal box that sits in often damp rooms that spins your clothes round and gets them wet.... Vibrations and damp.... Shit conditions for electronics, ideal conditions for electro-mechanical switches... You know... Like they used to be 40 fucking years ago when they didn't break down irreparably after two years.

It's all part of their cunning plan. After a couple of decades of selling unreliable, technology-laden shit, they'll bring out a "retro" model.

Said "retro" model will have all the electro-mechanical parts you mentioned, but will cost the earth and will still have some really annoying part that you can't get from anybody other than the manufacturer themself which will break and cost £££ to replace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seem to recall Mrs DW insisted on splitting the bill on our first date. She doesn't go in for this 'gentleman' guff, which is a good job really! I think most women agree that the desire for more equality goes both ways.

I believe in equality too, but it's when somebody acts offended when I try to pay the whole bill, instead of simply politely saying "I'll get my half" that I meant to point out (badly).

[twosmoke300]

I think joining air cadets / army cadets / scouts etc makes youngsters much more polite .

[strangeangel]

Wifi washing machines can FUCK RIGHT OFF OUT OF TOWN...

 

 

Amen to that. The Internet of Things in general can join them on the same train.

[Cavcraft]

 

A few dates I've been on in the past couple of years... If I try to pay for the coffees all by myself I get dirty looks. They've not turned into second dates

Free drink, potential shag, you don't have to see them again and this is on the grumpy thread?