What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[twosmoke300]

Congrats cms206

[Pillock]

Congratulations CMS!

[dollywobbler]

Serious congrats. Cannot wait to see the wedding pics. Black 740 six-door limo?

[catsinthewelder]

Brilliant day at work. The boss is vanishing off in a few weeks on a banger rally so this Jag was in the carpark this morning.

 

It was getting in the way and I needed to fetch a van from elsewhere so was handed the keys to it. It drove OK apart from a noisy wheel bearing but when I hit the brakes the passenger window opened.

 

I told the boss when I got back and was greeted with " thank fuck its not just me then" Apparently the car was owned by an old boy called Jeff. When he died his friend (also called Jeff) took it on for a few years before he also died.

 

When my boss picked the car up last night his mate joked "don't forget you've got the two Jeff's in there with you". Driving alone in the dark he booted the throttle and nearly shat himself when the window opened itself. Various extra weird behaviour like slowly lighting two indicators when called Jeff in the dark and things breaking around it has quickly earnt it a reputation for being cursed. The gaffer is now seriously considering using the PT Cruiser he has acquired for another team instead.

 

I've spent half the day laughing, all the issues we were worrying about seem to have sorted themselves out and I'm off out with Ms C tonight to see Scroobious Pip. All is well

[Lacquer Peel]

It's unreal how greedy some people can be. Ms._Peel's mother and stepdad are getting involved in some kind of pyramid scheme recommended by their fugging financial adviser, it took me around a millisecond of thought and 30 seconds of googling to work out that it was a scam, but they're falling for it. I've told them to sack off their financial adviser and avoid it, but they're still going for it.

They're quite well off but greedy as fuck. Give the money to me instead, I'll invest it wisely*. Half grin/half grump.

[skattrd]

Congrats Andy/CMS

[andy18s]

Had an email from our solicitors today confirming we will complete on our 1st house on the 16th April..

Thats only 3 weeks the Mrs says.....

Best get the van sorted then,only needs a new brake load valve fitting,new fuel tank straps and a working brake caliper fitting

And an mot......

[vulgalour]

If you get really stuck, call on the might of the Autoshite estates to help you move house, most are veg powered and can swallow vast quantities of furniture saving you mucho expense.  Autoshite Estates, the 7th emergency service.

[Richard]

Serious congrats. Cannot wait to see the wedding pics. Black 740 six-door limo?

 

I spotted one at the place beside our Glasgow branch a while back, I'll have to see if it's still there.

[320touring]

Asked SWMBO to marry me.

 

She said yes.

 

BRB M8S ND 2 GET COUNCIL ESTATE MESURED 4 WHITE RIBONNS

 

Yaaas! Congratulations to you both:)

[The Moog]

Congratulations CMS

 

For pure AS wedding it should be rust rained down on you instead of confetti, a 21 Volvo starting badly salute and all your wedding presents a ticket to a different Autoshite raffle car.

[Mr Lobster]

Congrats CMS.

 

Surely for an Autoshite wedding though the bride and groom would both be late because their cars broke down and the bride wears an old fan belt instead of a garter. And for the toasts you'd be raising a glass of K Seal to the bride and groom.

[fordperv]

Congratulations cms do you reckon you could convince future mrs cms to wear something beige on your big day?

[richardmorris]

I've done wedding duties in my cx Pallas and the 2 cv before. Surely the best for this forum has to be a beige vdp princess?

[purplebargeken]

Bloody brilliant news! Congrats! 

 

You could have used the Amazon if you were actually in England and not some other country.. 

[purplebargeken]

Cor! New hot thing fixation.... Leona Chin. Cor. 

[Slappy]

Shit day at work due to misbehaving IT equipment, so decided to B road it back home. It's not a long trip by any means, but it was a good release for a lot of stress from the past few weeks, and I haven't been able to do that route since about November as I like it light, sunny and dry.

 

Oh and 3 day weekend, 3 day week, 4 day weekend, whoop!

[MrDuke]

Drinking Bruichladdich and Ardbeg (not together) for the first time this evening made me very happy indeed. Leading to the minor grump that I'll probably never actually own a bottle of either.

[fred]

Watching Mr Audi A8 and Mr BMW 5 series Cock fighting after a T bone by Mr BMW at the Boundary Island in Walsall today I witnessed the finest sight of corporate multitasking in action. much lapel pulling and tie twirling action, I sat there so long watching I forgot I was holding up 3 miles of traffic as J9 is closed so diverted traffic was behind me.

[forddeliveryboy]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02mlwdp

[captain_70s]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02mlwdp

On one hand that's funny, on the other the audience laughter is so over the top it ruins it.

[forddeliveryboy]

I haz audience larfter deeleet filterz. But yes, you're right. I think the laughter would be far funnier if dubbed to the real thing.

[fred]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02mlwdp

Fecking hilarious!

[HillmanImp]

Who was the smart-alec on ebay asking if the Xantia is suffering from one of the more common faults of locking people in at the Co-op?

[xtriple]

Just re-united a little mutt with its owner.

 

It followed me and the mutts round on our morning walk so I brought it home and phoned the dog warden... who wasn't interested in working on a rainy Saturday. So I went hunting for someone franticly looking for a lost dog.

 

Had a thought and called  in to the local shop and Ken knew who's dog it was. But then he should, it lived next door to his shop!

 

Lovely little mutt apart from the fact it kept trying to shag Phoebe who doesn't go in for that sort of thing so it turned its attentions to Chester, who, in all honesty couldn't care less. He was far more concerned that the little bastard ate all his food! That, in Chesters book, is the ultimate insult.

[Rusty Pelican]

This ex scrapyard wrinkly heap never fails to amaze me.

Straight though the MOT this morning with no advisories 

 

[Cavcraft]

Just been to see Kev from Wales, he's come up trumps and found me an ace old pushbike I'd been after and regaled me with stories of his epic vehicle moving round the UK. Top bloke and no mistaking.

[cros]

 There was a girl telling the world a few years back about how she was equipped with two vaginas. Typical of today's profligate youth, she revealed that she had tried both of them. I'm sure that in my day she'd have kept a fanny in reserve in case the other wore out.

[mat_the_cat]

My wife is looking at buying a new car, and the dealer yesterday was discussing engine options with her..."Now, what do you understand about horsepower?"

 

I tried not to laugh at her response "I used to work as an engine designer!"

[oldcars]

Come on man.

Surely you can't watch this video of a dumpy, uncomfortable-looking man pretending to be The Fat Controller to promote "Thomas Land" and not have a slight chuckle. It's the most feeble thing I've ever seen, it cracks me up. Also helps that the entire theme park looks incredibly grim and low-rent.

I will let you know, im going with the wee one next weekend