What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[hairnet]

cole bought a plough for a fergie

some of the bits that go in the ground were broken

hes round at that patrick fellas place to buy some non broken bits and patrick says 

youre better off just buying one ive got here

guy then says to cole - im trying not to larf cos everytime you buy something farming it costs you a fortune

 edit and as i type this they didnt replace anything they welded stuff up (arent implememnt stuff cast? )

ive been saying that for years - if you know fukall about summat - run away

its great when it rapes his wallet

 

[808 Estate]

[richardmorris]

[myglaren]

 

[iainrcz]

Went Tescoing yesterday.

A woman said I need new pants.

25% off in the gents section.

Found some reduced ones.

 

Just checked the receipt, got the 25% off the reduced ones.

Winner.

[wuvvum]

[myglaren]

[alcyonecorporation]

Now know how to delete threads that are shit and shouldn't have been written in brain fog. 

[ProgRocker]

Seems like the lunchtime DJ on BBC Radio Norfolk might be shiter.

 

He does a "guess the year" quiz. Yesterday in addition to non car related clues he referred to the year being when the mark 5 Vauxhall Astra was launched. I couldn't decide if it was 2004 or 2005. He played "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers.

Today he mentioned the launch of the Ford Fiesta and the long hot summer so definately 1976.

[Joey spud]

[wuvvum]

2 hours ago, alcyonecorporation said:

Now know how to delete threads that are shit and shouldn't have been written in brain fog. 

I remember when it was socially unacceptable to crayon all over people's for sale threads. 

[Metal Guru]

4 hours ago, wuvvum said:

I remember a “gnat’s cock” was also a commonly used engineering unit in the 70s and 80s. 

[comfortablynumb]

Tolerances were usually referred to as a 'prick in a bucket' in one placed I worked 

[myglaren]

[richardmorris]

[hairnet]

the barclaycard ad

i thought it might be an argos ad cos air fryer (he says ooh an oven that fries)

so thats bullshit right from the start

but then lol at the rest of the ad when there must be 100 people with airfryers on a hill

wtf more than a lol but who buy the ad agency their drugs??

also barclays not been anywhere near them since i was a teenager

 

[hairnet]

finally got fibre broadband - 21st century just about

said to old git but youll lose yer landline

oh i need that

in the last six months noone of any importance has rang it - even when she rang her sister the mobile was used

i only ring it if she doesnt answer her mobile

but teh clicker was i showed her the speedtest

'this is why you think your tablet is broken it isnt its the connection'

0.5 up and 0.7 down

plugged my phone into it and tested it and 299 and 75

thats why - thats what you should be paying for not chalk and slate

 

[808 Estate]

[gm]

a modern* fiesta on xr2 pepperpots 

just made me smile for some reason 

[loserone]

Took the kids on a fishing taster session.  Not something I've ever done before.

This lad has an absolute whale of a time.  I reckon he's hooked.

In an hour we caught these.  The chaps showing us actually held one back too in case the next lot didn't catch anything (as had apparently happened the day before).

Just roasted them.  Reckon we might try to figure out a smoker.

There was literally nothing left to give the hens but the heads.  2/3 kids went back three times for more and left their chips.

[Rust Collector]

1 hour ago, loserone said:

Took the kids on a fishing taster session.  Not something I've ever done before.

This lad has an absolute whale of a time.  I reckon he's hooked.

In an hour we caught these.  The chaps showing us actually held one back too in case the next lot didn't catch anything (as had apparently happened the day before).

Just roasted them.  Reckon we might try to figure out a smoker.

There was literally nothing left to give the hens but the heads.  2/3 kids went back three times for more and left their chips.

That looks like a fantastic experience, glad you enjoyed yourselves. I grew up in (and still live in) a seaside town, and have fond memories of days spent at the beach fishing with my mates as a kid.

Every time I walk along the beach, I wonder if I fucked myself over by getting into cars rather than sticking with the fishing - it’s got to be a less stressful pastime, sitting on the beach and enjoying the view 🤣

[castros_bro]

1 minute ago, Rust Collector said:

That looks like a fantastic experience, glad you enjoyed yourselves. I grew up in (and still live in) a seaside town, and have fond memories of days spent at the beach fishing with my mates as a kid.

Every time I walk along the beach, I wonder if I fucked myself over by getting into cars rather than sticking with the fishing - it’s got to be a less stressful pastime, sitting on the beach and enjoying the view 🤣

I grew up in a seaside town, and have fond memories of days spent at the beach fishing with my mates as a kid.    An Prof of Psychology I worked with studied and lectured about Work/Life balance and had no* influence on me so I walk along the beach, call work for another sick day and catch lunch.  Good luck with fishing, it can change your life for the better.

[Tenmil Socket]

I was chatting to a relatively new colleague yesterday, a pleasant young chap. He explained he commutes from Derby to Liverpool... about 1.5 hours he said.

Out of curiosity I asked what car he drove... after a few seconds of thinking he replied 'a Vauxhall Golf'!

[comfortablynumb]

Just discovered that the post office in the next village stocks Red Stripe lager!

I'm not usually a lager drinker, but still....

Shame it's not crucial brew🥃

[paulplom]

22 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

I remember a “gnat’s cock” was also a commonly used engineering unit in the 70s and 80s. 

Fanny's hair is used around here.

[Tenmil Socket]

1 hour ago, paulplom said:

Fanny's hair is used around here.

Gnats pube round here.

[myglaren]

1 hour ago, paulplom said:

Fanny's hair is used around here.

And what does Fanny have to say about that?

[Pieman]

Fuel economy of my new Polo cheered me up today - South Staffs to near Holyhead used less than a quarter of a tank.  I thought a sensor had broken and the gauge was stuck on full at first!

[myglaren]

[New POD]

10 hours ago, Tenmil Socket said:

I was chatting to a relatively new colleague yesterday, a pleasant young chap. He explained he commutes from Derby to Liverpool... about 1.5 hours he said.

Out of curiosity I asked what car he drove... after a few seconds of thinking he replied 'a Vauxhall Golf'!

He's not keeping to the speed limits.  I used to work alot in Derby, and leaving Miseryside at 5am on a Monday.  would see me arrive after 7.30.  88 miles of M57, M62, M6, A500, A50 and A6. 

Coming back at Midday on a Friday was typically 3 hours. 

Tell me its not his daily commute.