What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Datsuncog]

[oldcars]

Filthy valeting van just driven past. Its been dry for weeks, great advert for your business 

[yes oui si]

Stephen Yaxley-Lennon is still locked up, and his mouth-breathing troglodytic acolytes are still fizzing.

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

[Sheefag]

MISSING ANDROID GALAXY TAB A10

THIS TABLET HAS BEEN TRACKED TO THIS PROPERTY ADDRESS.

COULD YOU PLEASE HAND IT IN AT EDMONTON POLICE STATION IMMEDIATELY OR RING

07931-308-202

Came home to find this shoved through the letter box. Hmm, somehow I don't think so. For one I don't have any GALAXY tablet. Secondly.... would you really leave such a note? I'd be camped outside stalking the place out!! Scammers, you have to give them 9/10 for trying.

 

Please, please, please feel free to call or text  the number and leave many amusing, instructive and inventive messages. Scamming gits.

 

 

No answer Ken. Most disappointed. Was hoping for a robust exchange of views.

[jakebullet]

7:30 am today presented self at hospital for Laryngoscopy convinced I was going to die due to general anaesthetic.

 

Spoiler*: not dead.

[Guest Hooli]

Spoiler*: not dead.

 

Or you got better...

[DodgeRover]

7:30 am today presented self at hospital for Laryngoscopy convinced I was going to die due to general anaesthetic.

 

Spoiler*: not dead.

There's still time for a delayed fatal reaction to the anaesthetic so it might not have been in vain!

[320touring]

Met Skizzer and Kiltox of this parish for the Inaugural

 

Scotoshite International (That there Lundon chapter) meeting.

 

Met up at 7ish for burger and 1 beer. That's me just back t the hotel...

 

Top lads:)

[Skizzer]

Very fine night out with 320Touring and Kiltox. Beers were consumed and I think you’ll find the world is now comprehensively put to rights.

 

Edit: Ha! Beat me to it. I type slowly after many beers and whatever that freebie liqueur was.

[320touring]

Very fine night out with 320Touring and Kiltox. Beers were consumed and I think you’ll find the world is now comprehensively put to rights.

 

Edit: Ha! Beat me to it. I type slowly after many beers and whatever that freebie liqueur was.

I was lead astray...

[AlabamaShrimp]

I may not get paid a fortune or work tons of hours but today's office* is pretty good

 

 

Just sat on the grass in the sun. Pretty funny watching people drive by rubber necking at the car.

[MorrisItalSLX]

Irony

 

[Guest Hooli]

Just think how much worse it'd be without...

[Datsuncog]

Just think how much worse it'd be without...

 

In my experience...

 

[Guest Hooli]

Two Woodpeckers

This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees.

The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem.
The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers).

The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat...


Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused.

How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:

Apparently, Tiger Woods and Shane Warne were right, when they said “your pecker gets harder when you're away from home”.

[Guest Hooli]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent.

[DeeJay]

In this weather I thank all that's holy (I'm not religious so choose your own holy) that I don't have vinyl seat covers.

[SiC]

It's about time the mainstream press started drumming this louder:

https://www.topgear.com/car-news/opinion/opinion-why-too-much-horsepower-useless

 

Especially interesting that it's from a performance oriented site. Possibly because stuff like a Golf R will be reaching 400bhp soon.

[vulgalour]

Irony

 

That would be at least part of the problem, yes.

[meggersdog]

As a small child my family and I lived on the Isle of Wight in the early 1970's.In those days many holiday-makers got to the island by train and BR's Sealink ferry service.My mother worked in a hairdressers near Shanklin rail station and I remember (vividly now) teenage boys with homemade trollies and barrows loitering outside the station eagerly awaiting the holiday-makers "carry your cases, sir ?" "where are you staying? I'll show you there" they would badger.Shame Sealink stopped in '84. Imagine the young entrepreneurs if they had one of these.

https://online.handh.co.uk/m/lot-details/index/catalog/88/lot/41127/?url=%2Fm%2Fview-auctions%2Fcatalog%2Fid%2F88%2F%3Fpage%3D4

[Guest Hooli]

Random text so twattertalk allows me to post

[loserone]

It's about time the mainstream press started drumming this louder:

https://www.topgear.com/car-news/opinion/opinion-why-too-much-horsepower-useless

 

Especially interesting that it's from a performance oriented site. Possibly because stuff like a Golf R will be reaching 400bhp soon.

Dickie Meaden wrote the same thing in Evo yesterday. No link because shit phone browser.

[Pillock]

I hope it goes as well as possible, Nyphur. It's not an easy time so do whatever you need to.

[Guest Hooli]

Aye hope it goes well Nyphur.

 

I'll have two rules at my funeral no dressing up as a twat (suits) and the cheapest of everything possible as they are a total waste of money.

[The Moog]

Aye hope it goes well Nyphur.

 

I'll have two rules at my funeral no dressing up as a twat (suits) and the cheapest of everything possible as they are a total waste of money.

Are we going to be invited?

 

 

And can I suggest The Shadow car service for all your transportation needs..

[Guest Hooli]

Depends, I'm planning on living forever & so far it's gone to plan....

[Lord Sterling]

A chap who works at my old trade-plating company had been down on his luck lately. He left the company and came back as some other work he had lined up didn't come about.

I saw on the WhatsApp group we both belong to that he had little money and was feeling hungry and tired and still had a way to go before getting home. I invited him to mine, stuck a pizza in the oven, got kettle on and had a good chin wag about plating companies. I like helping people where I can.

[Tamworthbay]

A chap who works at my old trade-plating company had been down on his luck lately. He left the company and came back as some other work he had lined up didn't come about.

I saw on the WhatsApp group we both belong to that he had little money and was feeling hungry and tired and still had a way to go before getting home. I invited him to mine, stuck a pizza in the oven, got kettle on and had a good chin wag about plating companies. I like helping people where I can.

Karma likes shit like this mate. And kettle is always on if you are ever this way again.

[yes oui si]

This old boy... <3

His joints are stiff, he's so grey he looks like an inverted raccoon, he's quite deaf and a bit blind, he hates other dogs, and the vast majority of people... But he's my friend. And he still has it in him to pick fights with badgers, deer, foxes et cetera

 

[155V6]

This old boy... <3

 

His joints are stiff, he's so grey he looks like an inverted raccoon, he's quite deaf and a bit blind, he hates other dogs, and the vast majority of people... But he's my friend. And he still has it in him to pick fights with badgers, deer, foxes et cetera

 

What's his name?