What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[NorfolkNWeigh]

What made me grin at the weekend , was seeing a convoy of about 9 Lancia Monte Carlos on the A40 near Llandeilo. I didn't know there were 9 roadworthy Betas in the country, let alone 9 Monte Carlos !

[Mr A Lawrence]

Courtesy of www.sniffpetrol.com

 

Cars once owned by the Sultan of Brunei are always highly sought after and a new acquisition by Titkettle Cars of Writhing in Agony is sure to be no exception. The vehicle in question is a 2003 Vauxhall Omega GLS with the desirable 2.2-litre engine and was thought to be driven not by the Sultan himself but by his cousin, Prince Ken.

 

‘As you’d expect, The Sultan and Prince Ken specced every luxury on this extraordinary motor car,’ says Titkettle Cars proprietor, Kit Titkettle. ‘This includes sumptuous grey cloth seats, a manually operated gearbox and electrically retractable windows front and rear.’

 

‘However, you won’t be surprised to learn that this stunning vehicle also comes with a host of features unlikely to be found on any other 2003 Vauxhall Omega GLS,’ Mr Titkittle continues. ‘These include a considerable quantity of cigarette ash in the carpets, a rare 1997 edition of the A-Z of Cardiff in the glovebox and a cassette tape which, having examined the markings on the outside, we believe to be nothing less than the very best of Chris Rea.’

 

‘We understand this car was used not in Brunei itself but was retained for use at Prince Ken’s private residence in Tilehurst, just outside Reading,’ Mr Titkettle explains. ‘And, as befits a car of this provenance, I’m looking for offers in the region of 8.5 hundred pounds.’

[Alfamale]

I'd really like to live in Sheffield.

 

 

Believe me, you don't.

[mat_the_cat]

I know many people have had bad experiences with eBay users, but here's something to redress the balance! I'd sold a pair of BX suspension bushes, starting at 99 pence and hoping for a fiver. They sold for £1.21, fair enough, that's the risk I took.

 

But I got a message with the payment:

"Hello, I'm going to send you another 10 GBP later on, because it just wouldn't be fair!"

 

Which, true to his word he did

 

Julian B. Stark, you are a gentleman.

[FakeConcern]

Having finally managed to piss off my parents by my apathy towards a life I was shoved into, for the first time in my life I've got them off my back and I'm starting to learn things for myself, and be my own person. I've started to make decisions of my own - I don't know if I want to go back to uni or not, but I've got as long as I like to decide. CompSci just wasn't for me, fuck knows what is - if I ever work it out (now I have time) maybe I'll give a degree another stab. 

I've realised as well that I'm not as much of a city person as I thought and I'm probably going to bugger off somewhere a bit smaller at some point - I'd really like to live in Sheffield.

 

I'm glad I'm getting to finally work things out for myself - I had an odd upbringing (Mother Ghosty has OCD and there's a degree of hereditary(?) autism spectrum on the male side of her family so we don't get on), and the freedom is liberating.

I didn't start my 4 year Honours degree until I was 24 (not sure how old you are) having hated the Art Foundation course I did at 18 (although I did meet Mrs Concern there so not all bad!). I retired this year so a bit older than you, but my kids are going through what you are, it's a right of passage.

 

Edit; isn't Sheffield a city?

[Timewaster]

Had a bit of success today.

 

When I bought my Galaxy from a bombsite dealer, the parking sensors didn't work.

 

As my Mrs was going to drive it too, I was specifically looking for one with sensors.

 

"Fix the sensors and I'll 'ave it" was the deal.

 

A day or two later the seller rang me with some tosh about not being able to get an auto electrician in time yadda yadda yadda, how about £200 off instead?

 

So that's what we did.

 

I googled the problem, checked for dead sensors by listening for a ticking noise. 3 of 8 were dead.

 

A new set of 4 was £24.99 off Ebay.

 

Fitted tonight in about 10 minutes, reconnect the buzzer and all is good. RESULT!

 

(Did I forget to mention that it took me 4 years to get around to doing it?).

[DeeJay]

This made me laugh.

 

 

 

(Not trying to kick anything off again).

[omegod]

Courtesy of www.sniffpetrol.com

 

Cars once owned by the Sultan of Brunei are always highly sought after and a new acquisition by Titkettle Cars of Writhing in Agony is sure to be no exception. The vehicle in question is a 2003 Vauxhall Omega GLS with the desirable 2.2-litre engine and was thought to be driven not by the Sultan himself but by his cousin, Prince Ken.

 

‘As you’d expect, The Sultan and Prince Ken specced every luxury on this extraordinary motor car,’ says Titkettle Cars proprietor, Kit Titkettle. ‘This includes sumptuous grey cloth seats, a manually operated gearbox and electrically retractable windows front and rear.’

 

‘However, you won’t be surprised to learn that this stunning vehicle also comes with a host of features unlikely to be found on any other 2003 Vauxhall Omega GLS,’ Mr Titkittle continues. ‘These include a considerable quantity of cigarette ash in the carpets, a rare 1997 edition of the A-Z of Cardiff in the glovebox and a cassette tape which, having examined the markings on the outside, we believe to be nothing less than the very best of Chris Rea.’

 

‘We understand this car was used not in Brunei itself but was retained for use at Prince Ken’s private residence in Tilehurst, just outside Reading,’ Mr Titkettle explains. ‘And, as befits a car of this provenance, I’m looking for offers in the region of 8.5 hundred pounds.’

 

My brother actually has an 11k 300zx turbo Nissan that was ex Sultan of Brunei, one of 5 he'd bought I believe, he bought it from a secretive warehouse stuffed with a few other gems that had been re-imported and sold when he reduced his collection slightly ( or just made space), paint was badly sun faded and the uprated air con was kaput. 

[AMC Rebel]

 

My sister bought me this - a go in a 737 simulator - officially the best pressie ever.  Bloke who runs it is a top chap.

[wuvvum]

Having a discussion about the election today at work.  The entire contribution of the lass who sits opposite me to the debate was "I like Theresa May 'cos her name sounds like Tresemmé".  Bless.

 

Also, on the way home, there were a load of "Vote Conservative" signs strewn over the verges and smashed tae feck.  It was probably just the wind like, but still.

[BavarianRetro]

My brother actually has an 11k 300zx turbo Nissan that was ex Sultan of Brunei, one of 5 he'd bought I believe, he bought it from a secretive warehouse stuffed with a few other gems that had been re-imported and sold when he reduced his collection slightly ( or just made space), paint was badly sun faded and the uprated air con was kaput.

There were two BMW E31 Alpina B12 5.7s. One ruined by sun and one peach. Sir Anthony Bamford got one and the other appears to have disappeared.

[Ghosty]

 

Edit; isn't Sheffield a city?

Yeah - it's not as big as Manchester though and doesn't feel as miserable (to me). I've lived here all but eight months of my life so far and I'm starting to get bored of it. For the other eight I lived in Wolverhampton (too small and a shithole). I'm starting to form my own ideas slowly - I do want to live in a city but not really one like Manchester.

Now - how to go about it.

[AMC Rebel]

I've spent a lot of time in both Sheffield and Wolverhampton and liked them both.

[DVee8]

WebuyANYcar does't list a Vauxhall Nova..so not ANY car then.

[Supernaut]

Having finally managed to piss off my parents by my apathy towards a life I was shoved into, for the first time in my life I've got them off my back and I'm starting to learn things for myself, and be my own person. I've started to make decisions of my own - I don't know if I want to go back to uni or not, but I've got as long as I like to decide. CompSci just wasn't for me, fuck knows what is - if I ever work it out (now I have time) maybe I'll give a degree another stab. 

I've realised as well that I'm not as much of a city person as I thought and I'm probably going to bugger off somewhere a bit smaller at some point - I'd really like to live in Sheffield.

 

I'm glad I'm getting to finally work things out for myself - I had an odd upbringing (Mother Ghosty has OCD and there's a degree of hereditary(?) autism spectrum on the male side of her family so we don't get on), and the freedom is liberating.

Snap.

 

I'm 29 and still don't know what the fuck to do. I've got an honours degree in Sustainable Environmental Management (bollocks), 2 classes of forklift licence, experience as a bicycle mechanic, a van driver, and a digital map editor, and Cisco CCNA. I currently work in 2nd line IT Support specialising in the network side of things but I'm massively underpaid (I worked out that, hourly, I'm getting £2 more than minimum wage).

I'm looking at other IT jobs but not sure if my heart is in it... retrain again? Hmmmm.

[Guest Hooli]

Snap.

 

I'm 29 and still don't know what the fuck to do. I've got an honours degree in Sustainable Environmental Management (bollocks), 2 classes of forklift licence, experience as a bicycle mechanic, a van driver, and a digital map editor, and Cisco CCNA. I currently work in 2nd line IT Support specialising in the network side of things but I'm massively underpaid (I worked out that, hourly, I'm getting £2 more than minimum wage).

I'm looking at other IT jobs but not sure if my heart is in it... retrain again? Hmmmm.

 

 

That IS shit money!

 

Our 2nd line guys here are A for C band 5, so about £21-27k.

[fordperv]

Had a lucky find yesterday and snapped it up, a reconditioned cosworth T5 gearbox, chuffed is an understatement

 

[Supernaut]

That IS shit money!

 

Our 2nd line guys here are A for C band 5, so about £21-27k.

See, I'd be happy with that! Because that's what I should get in 2nd line.

 

Instead, I get 1st line pay. I moved up from 1st line to 2nd line (3 years ago), but my pay didn't. Whenever I push for a promotion I get excuse after bullshit excuse, so I've stopped asking and I'm just applying elsewhere now.

[M'coli]

[castros_bro]

Not all Vau***lls are shite as some are railway stations.

 

 

I like the Russian word for railway station, vokzal. This is apparently because a Russian parliamentary delegation visited the UK to see this fabulous new invention, the railway.Their hosts from the House of Commons took them over the river to the nearest station, Vauxhall in South London. When the Russians asked what it was called, meaning the type of building, they got the reply 'Vauxhall'. So vokzal to this day means railway station in Russian.

[gordonbennet]

Yes, the weather's finally broken, dry'ish and only gentle breeze which means i can finally change all the transmission oils on the Landcruiser.

[John F]

Not all Vau***lls are shite as some are railway stations.

 

 

I like the Russian word for railway station, vokzal. This is apparently because a Russian parliamentary delegation visited the UK to see this fabulous new invention, the railway.Their hosts from the House of Commons took them over the river to the nearest station, Vauxhall in South London. When the Russians asked what it was called, meaning the type of building, they got the reply 'Vauxhall'. So vokzal to this day means railway station in Russian.

 

Likewise, the Japanese word for suit (as in suit of clothes) is 背広, which transcribes as "sebiro" - an approximation of "Savile Row".

[Guest Hooli]

See, I'd be happy with that! Because that's what I should get in 2nd line.

 

Instead, I get 1st line pay. I moved up from 1st line to 2nd line (3 years ago), but my pay didn't. Whenever I push for a promotion I get excuse after bullshit excuse, so I've stopped asking and I'm just applying elsewhere now.

 

I can haz a similar issue, but I'm getting paid for 2nd line & doing 3rd line.

 

As soon as I've got a mortgage sorted etc I shall be applying elsewhere too.

[Guest Hooli]

As I can't find the joke thread...

 

 

 

A huge article just appeared featuring Dracula's lifestyle in The Times.
And yet, he didn't appear in The Mirror, or The Sun.......

[fordperv]

Popped to Tesco an hour ago and as soon as I pulled on this car stuck out like a sore thumb, it was only a rhd vignale fiat Samantha I've never seen one in the metal

 

 

[richardmorris]

Wow! Shame the driver can't park though.

[eddyramrod]

He's probably doing what I do to make sure those lovely big doors don't get damaged.... here's Huggy in his preferred double space at Asda!

[fordperv]

Wow! Shame the driver can't park though.

For its rarity id definately park like that as well, in defence of the owner it was at the far end of the carpark so causing no one any issues

[beko1987]

Bub, their about to cut the roof off this at the town carnival, want me to ask about any bits?

 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Had a speed awareness course on Thursday- waste of 4 hours, but better than 3 points.An ex-traffic accident investigator and a driving instructor did the talking- I was pleasantly surprised at the lack of patronising lecturing and I did think that some of the people there probably learnt quite a bit about road signs, speed limits etc. Particularly the woman who thought different lanes on motorways had different speed limits!

 

Anyway , the grin. We all came out got in our cars and two people immediately drove through a No-Entry sign to a barrier that obviously wouldn't open. The old Copper put his head in his hands and said " Why do I waste my bloody breath" ( one was the dippy speed limit bird, one was a management type in a 2.2 XF)