What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[trigger]

U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A U.S..... Oh bollocks.

[autofive]

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-n ... d-19783214

[Cavcraft]

Another Gumtree success and more top Asian buyers. The lad who's been sent to collect the Almera turned up in absolutely THE worst Transit you'll ever see and managed to break the back of the bed putting the car on.

Had a right laugh with him, one of life's characters alright, and he described himself as 'the first P*ki to have pissed in all four corners of Britain.'

[michiel]

Sort of quoting dollywobbler from a couple of pages back:

 

Sunshine. Small Japanese car. Welsh roads. Welsh scenery. Sunshine. Rain. Welsh roads. Welsh scenery. And as a bonus we accidentally took the Cat and Fiddle road on the way from Hull to Llandudno.

2500 km in 12 days (we normally do under 7000 km a year), lots of castles, abbeys, nice hotels and food and up and down, left and right on roads that are about as wide as a Sirion.... and I only tried to kill us once, overtaking a tractor uphill, nearly crashed into a police Discovery...

 

Here's the little hero on Gospel Pass:

 

Gospel Pass by Michiel V, on Flickr

[Spiny Norman]

U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A U.S..... Oh bollocks.

 

The amount of butthurt being felt by our transatlantic cousins about losing a game of get-a-ball-in-a-hole-by-hitting-it-with-a-stick is really quite amusing. It's actually on the news!

 

Message to Yanks - You only get to be "World Champiums" in sports no-one else plays, like what you call football, your version of rounders or your hopelessly dull roundy-round version of motor racing.

If you want to be champions of the actual world in a sport, you need to beat some opposition that's not from Kansas....

[ashmicro]

HARSH. (Fair, though)

[Cavcraft]

This should probably be in the 'grumpy' thread but the absolute stupidity of the seller's schill bidding is ace:

 

http://feedback.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI ... ckAsSeller

 

So they sold the same blue Merc three times, twice (to their mates) with good feedback, the last one not so good. 'Nikkiflynn' has seven feedback, all from the same person who just happens to be 'amycgai1'

What a f*cking spanner.

[Louise2cv]

Youtubing "electrolux 502" (vacuum cleaner shite, if you like)... don't ask.

 

Some guy complaining in the comments section that in all the videos the guy is wearing shorts and has bare feet. Video owner asks why it bothers him so much, the reply is that people will think vacuum collectors are weirdos . Nowt to do with the hoovers then dude?

 

I used to cry whenever mom got her electrolux 502(?) out, they still give me the creeps. Almost as much as my nan's Hoover with fabric bag *shudder*

[vulgalour]

My aunt had a Kirby rather like this one. It might not have been this exact model, but I do recall it being burgundy with a light on the front. Posh vacuum-shite really.

 

When I asked what the light was for on the front, I was told it was so you could see what you're doing when there's a powercut. I believed that for years too, for I was small and impressionable. Personally, I'm happy with my Dyson DC01 frankenstein that I've had for years and just keep bolting bits of other Dysons to so it keeps going.

[Louise2cv]

Oooo now that is scariest yet.

 

I think dysons are a bit over-rated, but have been unable to find a vacuum yet that I am impressed with. Vax was pap, most of the other have achieved as much as you could expect with my rubbish budget. The best so far though is a £35 Tesco's number. They don't do spare parts though "bin it when broken, buy more" attitude.

[JohnDeere]

Watching The Spy Who Loved Me. Never mind the submersible Lotus, the best bit is Jaws tearing the roof off the Sherpa van. Some time later when it breaks down in the desert, the Russian spy (Barbara Bach) takes one look at the engine and diagnoses "cylinder head gasket" as the problem. And I didn't even realise they fitted K-series into mid-70s Sherpas.

[wuvvum]

Watching The Spy Who Loved Me. Never mind the submersible Lotus, the best bit is Jaws tearing the roof off the Sherpa van. Some time later when it breaks down in the desert, the Russian spy (Barbara Bach) takes one look at the engine and diagnoses "cylinder head gasket" as the problem. And I didn't even realise they fitted K-series into mid-70s Sherpas.

About ten years ago I went to have a look at an Audi 200 that a chap had advertised in the local rag. He had a selection of supposedly ex-Bond motors in his barn, including that Sherpa, still with the roof torn open. I have no idea if it was the actual one or not, but it looked pukka enough.

[RedSparrow]

I fucking love that film!

The Roger Moore Bond films are the best.

[cyruspower]

My aunt had a Kirby rather like this one. It might not have been this exact model, but I do recall it being burgundy with a light on the front. Posh vacuum-shite really.

 

When I asked what the light was for on the front, I was told it was so you could see what you're doing when there's a powercut. I believed that for years too, for I was small and impressionable. Personally, I'm happy with my Dyson DC01 frankenstein that I've had for years and just keep bolting bits of other Dysons to so it keeps going.

 

Mum and Dad had one, they were insanely expensive new, something like £1500 in the mid/late-80s and were sold door to door, pyramid style. I remember the Salesman coming into our house and sprinkling rice all over the living room floor. Stunned by the power of the Kirby in collecting those grains, they unbeliveably bought one. When it was relegated from the house I used it for a car valeting service I set up for a couple of years when at college. That Kirby is probably still running somewhere.....

 

EDIT: After a search on YouTube there are genuine collectors of Kirby vacuum cleaners. I'd forgotten about all the attachments: "Suds-o-Gun" "Handi Butler" "Rug Renovator" "Em-Tor" "Shag King Rug Rake" "Turbo Sander/Massager" "Carpet fluffer"!

[Volksy]

About ten years ago I went to have a look at an Audi 200 that a chap had advertised in the local rag. He had a selection of supposedly ex-Bond motors in his barn, including that Sherpa, still with the roof torn open. I have no idea if it was the actual one or not, but it looked pukka enough.

 

Was the 200 an ex-bond car too, I seem to remember Bond - I think Dalton - driving one in one of the films. an Avant IIRC

 

EDIT* Apparently not an avant..

 

http://www.imcdb.org/vehicle_4306-Audi- ... -1986.html

 

Oh, It may have been

 

http://www.imcdb.org/vehicle_4307-Audi- ... -1986.html

[willswitchengage]

All modern cars are shit part 94...

 

Colleague of mine is £200 worse off today after a defective power steering hose on her mk2 Focus needed replacing (apparently the car couldn't be driven either as the pump and therefore the engine would seize). She later divulged that her husband's three year old company Insignia has already nommed its way through through a clutch and flywheel, ha ha ha.

[trigger]

Those Mk2 Focus seem to suffer with a faulty power steering pipe, my mate's 06 plate one broke recently, there's a metal union which the rubber pipe goes into which breaks, it's that common that Ford sell a complete modified replacement pipe.

[ashmicro]

Any idea if it affects the C Max, Trig? 2008 model specifically.

[trigger]

No idea mate, Not that i know off, nothing on honestjohn either although he's warning not to buy a 1.6TDCi CVT model! http://www.honestjohn.co.uk/carbycar/fo ... ection=bad

[ashmicro]

Shit! That sounds like a 'mare. My friend's one is a 2008 1.8 TDCi 115 with a manuel.

[willswitchengage]

Any idea if it affects the C Max, Trig? 2008 model specifically.

 

The ceefax is basically a tall bodied mk2 Focus, so most likely. Has any informed buyer ever bought a CVT? Are modern tractors that have them equally useless?

[Richard]

I think holed PAS pipes are pretty common, my work Transit sprung a leak where the pipe is clipped to the bodywork.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

My old Rover 800 diesel needed a new PAS pipe as well, (after I crashed it into a bridge)

[AeroNautiCal]

Shit! That sounds like a 'mare. My friend's one is a 2008 1.8 TDCi 115 with a manuel.

 

Which one?

 

 

[Richard]

Peter?

 

[ashmicro]

Definitely Manuel from Fawlty Towers - it doesn't like 3rd when cold, goes "Que?".

[cobblers]

Idly looking into engine bay while procrastinating about changing a coolant hose I found my throttle cable was well baggy. Wedged the pedal down with a pair of shoes and a half done blueroll and it turned out I was getting about half throttle flat out, if that. about a minute later I can now go loads faster. Probably explains why I got decent MPG from it though.

[warren t claim]

The pleasures of driving a Renner Premium with a proper gearbox, the joys of being able to come down half a gear on slight inclines is heaven after a succession of autobox equipped wagons.

[rml2345]

I'm guessing those computah controlled automated 'boxes aren't half as good as the truck press would have you believe?

Trucking seems to think that the sun shines out of I-Shifts arse...

[messerschmitt owner]

when clearing the father in law's pad at the weekend I accumulated three boxes - about 30kg - of scrap copper and brass, three big batteries plus lots of tools, a turfer, a mig welder in the box, a brand new sander, 4 boxes of PA Cresta bits, two WW2 jeep jerry can holders, lots of electrical cable, block and tackle plus some quite decent photos of some of his old military kit.

 

 

 

I'll be flogging off the big box of assorted tools once I have had a clear out of my garage and added to it, but if someone wants a starter accumulation of tools - decentish quality spanners from Hilka and Kamasa, Nissan, Lada, etc, there is a big box of them, and they will be cheap - like £20 for the box of tools - includes a big torque wrench too.

 

the gas/gasless mig welder will also be going - don't even know if it works - but it is boxed - I last used it a decade ago or even more - he borrowed it to weld a trailer and I never saw it again!!