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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread


outlaw118

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They're not perfect but they do a good enough job so what does it matter?

 

Have you bought a Mk2 Focus? Yes they do a good enough job, for someone who isn't interested in life!

 

Can you exchange text message porno pictures with some Focci? I think not. Can you use a Ford Focus to send abusive messages to other people and order them taxis at 3.00am? I think not. Can you pull that Ford out of your pocket in the pub, talk really loudly into it and say 'I'M ON MY NEW FOCUS 4A, IT'S REALLY GOOD' several times over? No. No you can't.

But can you get an iNtelligentSmart9G10MBPIXELE-TUNES phone, shove it into the door pocket of shit French car and do all the above? Yes you can.

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One of Trigger's spots has reminded me of a funny incident. Back in 1997 I had a breathed on Metro GTi (fettled by the previous owner, a Rover mechanic). One late night, I was coming home on the back road from Larne, going quite fast, and I'm thinking "This Capri behind me is doing well, I can't shake him". Upon reaching the straight, lit part of the road there was this God almighty roar, and the "Capri" came past.

 

It was a McLaren F1.

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Mom gave me 2 £20 notes. Hurrah!

Megan likes to empty my wallet all over the house. Boo!

Manage to prize cash out of Megan's hands.Hurrah!

Check pockets next day, Money has gone. Boo!

Turn house upside-down. Boo!

Empty wheelie bin, no notes. Boo!

Realise I have been out of house in these trousers, so cash could be anywhere.Boo!

 

Why then the grin thread? Clutching at straws and expecting nothing I called in at Tesco this morning to ask if anyone had handed £40 in (yeah right).

 

Except...

 

They had. :shock: £40 cash. Noted in the lost property book behind the Customer Services counter and kept in the safe. :shock::shock::shock:

 

Can't believe my luck. There are some very decent people out there. :D

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Mom gave me 2 £20 notes. Hurrah!

Megan likes to empty my wallet all over the house. Boo!

Manage to prize cash out of Megan's hands.Hurrah!

Check pockets next day, Money has gone. Boo!

Turn house upside-down. Boo!

Empty wheelie bin, no notes. Boo!

Realise I have been out of house in these trousers, so cash could be anywhere.Boo!

Sorted.

 

51XDPDO53UL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

 

:mrgreen:

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I IS BACK FROM LOLIDAY 2012 INNIT!

 

A week in the English Lakes wiv ma posse, here's a couple of gratuitous pictures, never really got into taking photos of cars so here's my best:

 

7907518828_00b1a4a424_z.jpg

P1030951 by willswitchengage, on Flickr

 

Just before setting off, three in the back and the safely assembled roof package has three bicycles in it (sadly couldn't fit on a fourth without looking too ridiculous)

 

7907512538_6b8a54b657_z.jpg

P1030983 by willswitchengage, on Flickr

 

Up Newlands Haus (sp?)

 

The trusty justy returned a healthy 40mpg through some quite "dynamic" driving although being woefully underpowered I'm sure helped there (sorry to anybody travelling westbound on the A59 last Sunday), a few knocks and bangs here and there but nothing you wouldn't expect from a 22 year old 140k motor. 4WD did come in briefly handy whilst navigating into improvised car parking spaces thanks to the complete speshes that somehow manage to take up three with one Nissan Micra. A great time was had by all, although the journey home was plagued by wankers on their phones swerving all over the A66, a lorry ahead of us shortening our lifespans considerably with its blue smoke, and tedious road works on the home stretch.

 

In other motoring news... staying at my parents tonight, pulled in to the drive and noticed a shiny 62 plate Corsa in front of me. Safe to say my Mother's new investment is so far a catastrophy. Woefully poorly made (bits already coming off around the windscreen), less interior space than the Subaru, an awful gearchange, concrete seats... I could go on. An awful, awful car, especially irritating as I tried to push her in the direction of a Jazz or Yaris to little avail. Oh well, it does have bonus points though for an uncluttered and back2basics engine bay - no wanky piece of plastic covering everything up unnecessarily.

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In other motoring news... staying at my parents tonight, pulled in to the drive and noticed a shiny 62 plate Corsa in front of me. Safe to say my Mother's new investment is so far a catastrophy. Woefully poorly made (bits already coming off around the windscreen), less interior space than the Subaru, an awful gearchange, concrete seats... I could go on. An awful, awful car, especially irritating as I tried to push her in the direction of a Jazz or Yaris to little avail. Oh well, it does have bonus points though for an uncluttered and back2basics engine bay - no wanky piece of plastic covering everything up unnecessarily.

 

Disown her immediately.

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My poor MR2 failed it's MOT today, on surprise surprise -ball joints- and a speck of welding. I couldn't get the ball joints from the only motor factors open at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon and I need a car to get me to work on a Monday morning, so literally 30 minutes between looking on gumtree and 'holding aht me 'aaand' I bought this Mercedes E220 auto estate with tow bar and rear dog shield with everything working.

 

t35Uy.jpg

 

sqx5K.jpg

 

GR0.02 value for what will be a couple of weeks ownership. The 2.2 is 150bhp although the car is 1 1/2 tonnes. I have never owned a Merc before but I've always liked these. Unfortunately it has a gash plastic silver KENWOOD stereo that stays lit up with the key in (which will be getting replaced with my ol' Blaupunkt tape machine). Auto will be GR0.03 on M6 is three hours of stop start traffic at 6.40pm Friday evening.

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Looks like a tidy Merc there.

Auto for commutes and traffic jams is ace, its the main reason I'm still using the Volvo ... I am now offically lazy and a big fan of autos.

 

My grin, I've been out in the Alfa and once again it didn't break down. I think I may risk it and use it for work on Monday.

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Shame I couldn't get the camera out, but this morning in Leeds I saw a bright orange Allegro estate on (possibly)15" alloys! RFA454R, you looked well fit - but you've changed a wee bit since this photo:

61.jpg

That was taken in 2005 apparently, but now it's f-off bright orange, so it's been re-painted or ringed.

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I promised my housemate that the only cars that would be on the drive/in the garage would be the Polo and his Peugeot, at least until we'd got the stuff together to extend and reprofile the existing driveway into something more practical. Tonight I rather sheepishly apologised because there's a Princess in the garage, a Polo under cover on one bit of the drive, a Skoda Felicia on the other bit of the drive in front of the garage and just enough space for his Peugeot between them all in the little gap left. Just as well he's thin, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to get out when he parked up.

 

The grin part? Opening the back door to be greeted with a solid wall of shite.

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While browsing one of many car forums I frequent, this advert banner was on display. Not only is it massively wide of the mark for me as its target audience, but I find it vastly amusing that this would actually work on anyone that had figured out how to use a computer mouse, let alone open the internets.

 

InternetAd.jpg

 

Stay classy, Internet.

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LocalSlags

 

We live in a hetrocentric world.

As we live in a world where advertisers want to gather all our information to compartmentaslise and then target sell us shit we don't need, be grateful for the fact there are things they don't know.

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