What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Wack]

[richardmorris]

Morecombe and wise still the best thing on tv at Christmas. 

[MikeR]

son had a lie in for Xmas morning

I got him a mobile for Xmas ......

hardly seen him  ...

[Wack]

[omegod]

I am happily emitting the worst smells known to the human race, I had a full English followed by a lovely crimbo dinner,In 44 yrs 'I've never produced such a volume and height of stench such as this, it's literally a never ending sulpherous house clearer and I have childish tears running down my face as wife and daughter are upstairs balking and  seeking shelter from this assault on their senses.

I am stupidly proud of this achievement, long live the overcooked sprout !

Happy Christmas all 

 

 

[Wack]

As I've got older I find my gas emissions have become more toxic , there is something quite rewarding in laying a silent but deadly carpet bomb in a public area and just walking on without showing any signs you've left it behind 

[Jamie]

On 12/24/2019 at 4:18 PM, Wack said:

Just been into M&S 

It appears that they're catering for a new male market , I genuinely thought I was in the womans section

 

How dare you, I got that grey coat for Christmas! 

[busmansholiday]

7 minutes ago, Wack said:

As I've got older I find my gas emissions have become more toxic , there is something quite rewarding in laying a silent but deadly carpet bomb in a public area and just walking on without showing any signs you've left it behind 

I love dropping one in a lift just as I leave, sound in the knowledge that the next occupants will have selected a high floor and the doors will have closed just as they enjoy my parting gift.

[Wack]

29 minutes ago, jamiechod said:

How dare you, I got that grey coat for Christmas! 

Just dont wear it with that shirt 

Or you could post a picture of you wearing it for autoshite to decide if I'm wrong 

[iainrcz]

Well I'm officially a miserable cunt.

I'm already moaning about fireworks on New year's.

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[Zelandeth]

Not today, but got distracted on Monday evening and forgot.

It's been a while since I had reason to take the Lada out for a decent run, but we needed to make a run up to Leicester and given how close it was to Christmas I didn't fancy having to mess around trying to find space to park the van...just chucking a car into the multistorey at Highcross is far less hassle.  Xantia is off the road until I figure out what the heck to do about it in the spring and I really didn't fancy getting dragged up there in the torturously uncomfortable Audi Chris currently has from work.  So let's take the Lada.

I had honestly forgotten how happily that thing will bound along the motorway, keeping up with modern traffic with ease.  Funny car in that it actually feels happier at an indicated 75mph than 60.  Very much confuses other drivers though when a Lada estate goes hurtling past in the outside lane.

It's bloody noisy thanks to the gearing (even with the five speed box 70 is somewhere around 4000rpm I reckon) and utter lack of aerodynamics, but nevertheless it's quite a pleasant way to cover distance.

Better than that bloody £40K Audi anyway...

[320touring]

Present of the day from my brother - a service poster for the Oxford!

[beko1987]

6 hours ago, 320touring said:

Present of the day from my brother - a service poster for the Oxford!

You could tick it off all year with a dry wipe as you perform the tasks, then wipe clean for next year! 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

14 hours ago, Wack said:

As I've got older I find my gas emissions have become more toxic , there is something quite rewarding in laying a silent but deadly carpet bomb in a public area and just walking on without showing any signs you've left it behind 

Farting is fun, and that's all there is to it.

[MikeR]

14 hours ago, busmansholiday said:

I love dropping one in a lift just as I leave, sound in the knowledge that the next occupants will have selected a high floor and the doors will have closed just as they enjoy my parting gift.

We used to do that on the early shift ... Drive in . Hold on till the lift .. Get in and drop them .....get out at our floor ...wait for the victim to walk throu the door ! 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Currently in the bog, enjoying a massive post-Christm'arse dump

[Wack]

Maserati employs new team to stop plummeting sales

[hairnet]

got home after coupla days away

flicking thru tv to se if theres anything on that wasnt on last week (ie all the films)

campervan crisis is on together tv on freeview at 1330 till 2100

thatll do

all the biscuits all the tea

 

[hairymel]

 autoshite crackers...

[Tadhg Tiogar]

[Andyrew]

Shake shake shake, *drop* twang psssssssssssshhhbbhb

I can grin now. I was not grinning at the time

 

[myglaren]

Christmas present

 

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

1 hour ago, myglaren said:

Christmas present

I read through that in one of those cut-price remainder bookshops the other day. Looks like a rehash of Crap Cars.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

3 minutes ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

I read through that in one of those cut-price remainder bookshops the other day. Looks like a rehash of Crap Cars.

Who'da thunk it ?  Giles Chapman re-hashing some lame captions on photographs we've all seen a million times before ( mostly in his books for the last 20 years) then getting gullible relatives to buy for car loving Dads, Grandads, brothers, uncles etc, at Christmas. And of course we're all too polite to say anything , or are just glad to get anything car related, that he'll get away with it for the next 20 years.

[ChrisWilliams]

4 minutes ago, NorfolkNWeigh said:

Who'da thunk it ?  Giles Chapman re-hashing some lame captions on photographs we've all seen a million times before ( mostly in his books for the last 20 years) then getting gullible relatives to buy for car loving Dads, Grandads, brothers, uncles etc, at Christmas. And of course we're all too polite to say anything , or are just glad to get anything car related, that he'll get away with it for the next 20 years.

Peter Kay got away with that with his dvds for years. The same show as last year's, but in a different theatre, released a month before Christmas. 

[Tayne]

Just seen a DietCoke ad on tv and it looks like they’ve got a dating profile from someone on here.

 

 

Is that @eddyramrod

[MarvinsMom]

i dunno whats better, actually enjoying watching Paddington 2 on the telly,

or the look of utter disdain from Kerry after she asked "what engine is that?" and i replied that "60163... oh that's Tornado"

[xtriple]

I just heard of a car company that has recently set up a plant in China to make one specific model. All the cars have certain tolerences by design but apparently some have been 'pushed' a bit... to the extent that certain parts (namely headlights) from a UK built car will not fit the exact same car being built by the same company in a new factory in that there China.

[eddyramrod]

I'm watching Skyfall on +1, and the motorbike chase across the rooftops reminded me (yet again) of my 1986 Bond Moment.

I set off to a "do" in my tux, driving my Fiat 500 (JTD 241F) and broke a driveshaft.  Conveniently, just up the road from my sister's flat!  So I strolled down and borrowed... her Honda moped!  Riding up to one of the top hotels in Southport in full rig, on  a lovely summer evening, on a moped... it was a joy to walk into the room with helmet and gauntlets under my arm!

OK, so I wasn't chasing anyone, but you know.... it just felt right.

[Wack]

25 minutes ago, eddyramrod said:

I'm watching Skyfall on +1, and the motorbike chase across the rooftops reminded me (yet again) of my 1986 Bond Moment.

I set off to a "do" in my tux, driving my Fiat 500 (JTD 241F) and broke a driveshaft.  Conveniently, just up the road from my sister's flat!  So I strolled down and borrowed... her Honda moped!  Riding up to one of the top hotels in Southport in full rig, on  a lovely summer evening, on a moped... it was a joy to walk into the room with helmet and gauntlets under my arm!

OK, so I wasn't chasing anyone, but you know.... it just felt right.

Is there a video , that sounds great