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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread


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Posted

I think it would be cheaper to have an emergency refuge lane that people could use in the event of a breakdown.

We could call it a hard shoulder, then when there's a crash emergency services could use it to get to the people who need help

 

[irony mode off]

 

Stupid hard shoulder less motorways...

Guest Hooli
Posted

I think it would be cheaper to have an emergency refuge lane that people could use in the event of a breakdown.

We could call it a hard shoulder, then when there's a crash emergency services could use it to get to the people who need help

 

[irony mode off]

 

Stupid hard shoulder less motorways...

 

Give it about 25years & that'll be the amazing new government policy.

 

Mind you by then every emergency phone will probably have a smart charger on it for all the idiots who will still be running out of fuel on the motorway.

  • Like 1
Posted

I think it would be cheaper to have an emergency refuge lane that people could use in the event of a breakdown.

We could call it a hard shoulder, then when there's a crash emergency services could use it to get to the people who need help

 

[irony mode off]

 

Stupid hard shoulder less motorways...

 

Or we could just do what they do in Germany, and leave space down the middle for emergency vehicles in a queue. But that would involve people thinking about more than themselves, so it ain't going to happen. 

 

Incidentally, talking of folk thinking of nothing but themselves, it seems hard shoulders can be used to jump a queue and it's just fine. TWATS.

  • Like 3
Posted

I've seen them wombles drag an articulated truck and trailer (very slowly) out of the way with one of them 4x4s. Just lobbed a rope on it and pulled it onto the hard shoulder. I did wonder why they buy them such nice chunky cars rather than something that can cut through the traffic with some cones in the back, like an Octavia estate or something. Now I know.

 

I still wish they'd stop sitting on those "Police vehicle only" parking areas on the motorway, looking all policey though. Even though I rarely stray above 70ish, everyone else does and then they shit themselves and slam the brakes on when they see a bit of high vis checkerboard.

Posted

 

Incidentally, talking of folk thinking of nothing but themselves, it seems hard shoulders can be used to jump a queue and it's just fine. TWATS.

 

Once saw a chap doing this on the M42. Gridlock, car scoots down the hard shoulder with about a mile to go to the next exit at Tamworth. 

20 seconds later, a police car follows down the hard shoulder. Of course, this bloke now has nowhere to go - all the traffic in Lane 1 is chocka and like fuck is anyone going to let him in. So all he can do is stop and wait for the incoming wave of sarcasm/disgust from the policeman behind.

 

Traffic cleared 15 minutes later and he was still sat in the cop car having a little chat with the officers when I passed. I don't think I stopped laughing until about Solihull.

  • Like 10
Posted

Alas, I've found the frequency with which this happens far outweighs the frequency that a copper appears to nick 'em.

 

And we're back to my desire for something quick and agile but seriously heavy and armoured with bull bars the like of which God has not seen*, so that I can ram these fuckers off the hard shoulder, up (or down) the embankment, then leaving them for when the traffic wombles do turn up to ask awkward questions.

 

(*Or Hooli and a bus. Heroic.)

Posted

there was no hard shoulder, just some muddy verge. 

 

 

 

This is exactly why I fucking despise smart motorways.

  • Like 3
Posted

 

I still wish they'd stop sitting on those "Police vehicle only" parking areas on the motorway, looking all policey though. Even though I rarely stray above 70ish, everyone else does and then they shit themselves and slam the brakes on when they see a bit of high vis checkerboard.

 

Yeah, but as chodweaver will attest, smart motorways actually enforce 70mph. 

 

(That's another reason I don't like them).

Posted

Yeah, but as chodweaver will attest, smart motorways actually enforce 70mph.

 

(That's another reason I don't like them).

Not just that,they are actually enforcing the lower speed limits that commercial vehicles have

Few lads on a couple of Vivaro sites have had tickets for doing bob on 70 sent to them.....

Posted

I thought vans could do 70mph on motorways?

Posted

I thought vans could do 70mph on motorways?

They can, 70mph on mways, 60 on DC's and 50 on NSL roads, they must have been going faster than the posted limit.
Posted

There is a advert on the tv for a loan company where a bloke on roller skates is pulling a broken down recovery vehicle with other broken down vehicles on it.

Yesterday I saw a green flag recovery with a recovery truck on the back with a fiat cinquecento on the back

  • Like 2
Posted

They can, 70mph on mways, 60 on DC's and 50 on NSL roads, they must have been going faster than the posted limit.

Presumably doing 70 on a dual carriageway keeping up with the cars, but speeding as a result.
Posted

Just been and got the BIG dollop out of the wreck I refer to as 'the garage; it looks like its been underwater the place leaks so much, but, it is sooooooooooooooo lovely to drive. You forget when you haven't driven something for a few months, that for all it's trials and tribulations, they really are splendid things to waft about in, or be a hooligan if you prefer!

 

Turbo power for the win! :)

 

I am now going to wash it and pray that months of damp have not ruined the poor old lass.

  • Like 3
Posted

Thread juxtaposition.

Just now, right behind the Pinned threads, the first two were:

Thursday Trip to Collect immediately followed by

Cars you never knew existed.

 

Spirit of Autoshite, right there, I think! :)

  • Like 2
Posted

What Stephen is saying is just keep talking folks and everything will be all right.

Posted

Made a start going over the Corsa c I have to punt on and today I flushed and changed the coolant as it hasn't been changed for a good few years, I thought I'd flush the matrix seperate, my grin is how simple and easy the pipes were to remove from the matrix, no swearing or grazed knuckles, could this mean ive been miss informed and all vauxhalls aren't shit?

  • Like 3
Posted

I went to a local bike night that started tonight, a few nice bikes there but this seemed very AS...

 

20180314_182006.jpg

 

Boggo tranny with orange beacon & rust right?

 

Not quite...

 

20180314_181952.jpg

 

It looked very neat in there, bloke said it had the Lexus auto behind it & all bolted to standard Ford parts for the rest. 3" twin pipes that stopped just in front of the rear wheels but well hidden underneath made for a bloody lovely noise as it vanished at a bloody silly rate of knots for a van.

Forgot to say this is in this month's street machine

Posted

My boss was doing a Google image search for something - no idea what - when he called me over, saying "Hey Stuart, here's a car for you!"

 

Pics were of an Austin Ambassador hearse (he does know I'm looking to buy a cheap estate).

 

Looking closer... the site they came from was Autoshite!

Posted

My boss was doing a Google image search for something - no idea what - when he called me over, saying "Hey Stuart, here's a car for you!"

 

Pics were of an Austin Ambassador hearse (he does know I'm looking to buy a cheap estate).

 

Looking closer... the site they came from was Autoshite!

Ambassador hearse have ya got pics as I think I probably know that one

Posted

Just got a 3D telly, fuck me its good! Fell asleep during the liverpool game, when i woke up my wallet had gone !

  • Like 18
Posted

If you're near a Wilkinsons, the 500ml car polish is scanning as 50p (still normal price on shelf). 

 

Hotukdeals style photo of receipt:

 

post-17021-0-63211100-1521146626_thumb.jpg

  • Like 2
Posted

That fox camper is legitimately one of the best things I've seen for ages, I wonder what it's like inside?

Posted

Sorry to intrude long time lurker here .......I will introduce myself properly out of politeness soon but brought out of lurking cos you have posted a picture of my old fox camper van! so that's where it is now! I am sure I have a few pictures of it ........I sold it and bought a rickman rancher I don't know which had the most autoshite points.........

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