Cars I'd Like To Own But Would Feel A Tit Driving

[HMC]

We all probably own or have owned cars sections of the population are turned off/ appallled/would be embarrassed by, by the very nature of this place. So I'd say we are a fairly tolerant and open minded bunch with a low shame threshold! I'd like to think That describes me at least. Certainly friends and colleagues would agree when I roll into the works car park!

[320touring]

I'll drive anything as I have no shame.

 

Evidenced by 350miles in the Volvo Pride

[Junkman]

Pimped up P38 Range Rover with blacked-out windows and Khan alloys...

 

Yeah, I know some people say it'd suit me...

 

It actually would. To the ground.

[Tartan58]

When my MX5 was on the road I did feel like a bit of a twat driving it in town with the roof down but what's the point of not. Funnily enough I felt less of a twat driving it with the roof off the colder it was, probably thinking it makes we look wellard. But folk probably just thought I was a twat anyway.

 

Now having two kids means that it's unlikely that an MX5 is going to be a realistic proposition for a while so I've a hankering for a 4 seater soft top, specifically one of these...

 

 

I may well be the only person in the world but I think they're a very good looking car both roof up and roof down and who cares that it will be all floppy and fradgile. Maybe next year...prices are still a touch high for something which may go catastrophically wrong at any moment.

[Junkman]

I found my Munga ok over here as the passenger gets to look like the tit driving a 4x4 moped.

 

The reason I'd feel like a tit driving one is because they are commonly attributed to those wankers who think wars are nice and unfortunately end way too quickly.

Respraying it in non-NATO-olive doesn't help, because then they are attributed to those armed alcoholics who freeze their balls off on a deerstand before they drive to the pub.

[Aston Martin]

 

I may well be the only person in the world but I think they're a very good looking car both roof up and roof down and who cares that it will be all floppy and fradgile. Maybe next year...prices are still a touch high for something which may go catastrophically wrong at any moment.

 

I hate to say it, but Richard Hammond was right. The windscreen goes back about 4 feet into the car.

 

[Jerzy Woking]

I concur - I also feel a pretentious twat driving my A6.

I ride a motorcycle - in my eyes audi drivers were the bastard child of beelzebub. They just pull out on you, cut you up etc.

Then I buy one.

I ride bikes, but no driver could be worse than the drivers of Volvo ' s back in the 1980's. So what car did I go out and buy In 1986.................

 

Glad to see that Volvo ' s seem to be driven better now. SUV drivers are worst of all now IME.

[Cavcraft]

Genuinely, nothing. Having owned all of the crap that I've had, I can't say I'd feel a tit about any car that I'd want to own.

 

 

There are several cars I would feel a right tit in, but then I would never own one in the first place.

[cort1977]

A lot of my wife's friends would refuse to be seen in a minivan (people carrier) instead using an oversized 4x4 or some kind of weird crossover thing.   I never understand this as surely you're not going to fool anyone that you're not a middle aged mum once you stop and the kids get out?   Similarly, wagons are deeply unpopular here for some reason which suits me as mine was cheap.

 

The only car I would feel embarrassed to be seen in is one that has broken down due to my own laziness or incompetence.   Or one paid for with a loan so that I was paying interest on a depreciating asset.

[Tamworthbay]

I hate Binis and would be embarrassed to even be seen as a passenger in one. New beetles the same, any soft roader. But the worst of all by far is the Porsche Cayenne, if any car has ever shouted 'Driven by a twat' then it's the Cayenne. I drive an MX5 with anthracite wheels (albeit the super light original hollwspokes), tastefully lowered with a stupid loud exhaust fitted by previous owner. I never feel emabarressed which surprised me at first but they are just SO good to drive that you soon realise the idiots are all the other people who aren't driving such a great car that is so cheap.

[Timewaster]

There are several cars I would feel a right tit in.

Not left hand drive then. (where her left tit would be much more accessible.)

 

Fnar Fnar.

[gordonbennet]

When i was about 28, maybe 30 i had a 1972 Mustang, one like this

 

 

 

Believe this or believe it not the previous owners name was Moses...i would say thats Gospel but i promise you that was the geezers name, and in very small writing on the bottom of the rear number plate was the logo ''Beware Fallen Angel''...i have my own theory about his profession.

 

 

 

Now i'm no longer that age, i'd love to have another, nothing in yer face, summat like this

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately i'm a grey (started going grey at 21) haired old bastard, and i'd look such a twat in the thing that i'd never use it.

  look a twat in anything come to think of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[chaseracer]

 

What IS that hole in the sill under the driver's door?  Not rust, unusually - yet...

[vulgalour]

As much as I'd like to say I don't care and all that bollocks, I'd never turn up on any first date in my green Astra.

Flawed logic. If you turn up in a horrible car and they STILL like you, they're probably worth your time and effort. If your public image is more important to them than who you are they can fuck right off.

[richardmorris]

I don't care what other people think. I buy and drive cars I like regardless of their perceived image. When a car is in the garage for work then I'm grateful for whatever courtesy car I may be given- this is usually a 2cv, bx, xantia or recently a skoda. I always ask if the SM is free, but it's not been offered so far;-)

[New POD]

  mx5 and bini ? not nearly embarrassing enough.

 

I'm thinking this

 

[dugong]

I am a fat, balding 31 year old idiot.

 

I own a back to front Metro, a crusty Japanese coupe no-one normal can identify and a knackered diesel van with a hi-vis stripe up the side.

I'm a long way past caring what people happen to think.

 

I'd still think twice about driving an Evoque or a brand new Range Rover, though.

[Jikovron]

That vanden plas rust halo is a cover for one of those peg leg jacks , of which are best NOT to be used to work on the brake drums....as I found out

 

I drive allsorts ,,nothing tasteful in todays fashion but certainly easy to pick out which has its drawbacks should you annoy someone and your the only chap in a 300 mile radius with a specific car whereas their car is one of 58 silver vectras spotted between home and work

 

 The tripod reliants I'm tempted to entertain but a 54 plate or thereabouts Suzuki alto on lpg is the other contender both epochs apart and yet appealing running costs wise, the image issue isn't a negative moot point for me, more the practicality of heavy motorway useage all year and the practical consideration of stability so its still a leap of faith as yet whereas a Suzuki would be a mundane safe choice which would have a purely digital reason for buying over the emotively fuelled classic

 

I suspect the only time I'd feel genuinely stressed out by the image that vehicle of choice projected would a ollied 4x4 of any description stuck half way up a historically contested greenlane surrounded by pissed off ramblers ,,then I would don the paper bag

[New POD]

I hate Binis and would be embarrassed to even be seen as a passenger in one. New beetles the same, any soft roader. But the worst of all by far is the Porsche Cayenne, if any car has ever shouted 'Driven by a twat' then it's the Cayenne. I drive an MX5 with anthracite wheels (albeit the super light original hollwspokes), tastefully lowered with a stupid loud exhaust fitted by previous owner. I never feel emabarressed which surprised me at first but they are just SO good to drive that you soon realise the idiots are all the other people who aren't driving such a great car that is so cheap.

 

The thread title is which car would you like to own but would feel like a tit driving ? I feel that I must ask you to repost, as you have detailed cars you'd hate to own because you'd feel like a tit driving them, and you've detailed a car you do own, but don't feel like a tit driving, but which you think other people might think you are a tit driving, so you've failed to grasp the question and I give you 1 out of 10 for effort and because you mentioned the Cayenne, and because you have an Mx5.  Extra mark if it's a mk1.

 

Now I feel I must defend the BINI. Given that there are so many on the roads, you should ask yourself why. All the clever BMW marketing, wouldn't help sell a product that is truly shite. Of course it's overpriced, and overhyped, but the handling and grip would piss on our mk1 mx5 and it would get to it's destination faster, and I'd be more comfortable. Mind you, it's the mk1 version that's the best yet again.

[strangeangel]

Is any car worse than getting the bus?

 

Yes, but that's not what the OP asked.

[New POD]

Flawed logic. If you turn up in a horrible car and they STILL like you, they're probably worth your time and effort. If your public image is more important to them than who you are they can fuck right off.

 

 

The last time I went on a first "date" was in 1984, when I turned up in my dad's sierra estate. A Y reg 1.6 base estate in beige with 100 shades of brown interior. Nothing is more embarrassing than that I think.

 

Second date I turned up on a Suzuki TS125ER with a spare helmet, and we went to chester zoo, in a head wind down the M53. It wouldn't hold top gear on a slight incline due to the wind, and yet on the way back, it was red lining in 6th due to the wind.

 

Years later I'm told. She hates estate cars, and thinks motorbikes are too dangerous. I guess she like me then ?

[Tamworthbay]

The thread title is which car would you like to own but would feel like a tit driving ? I feel that I must ask you to repost, as you have detailed cars you'd hate to own because you'd feel like a tit driving them, and you've detailed a car you do own, but don't feel like a tit driving, but which you think other people might think you are a tit driving, so you've failed to grasp the question and I give you 1 out of 10 for effort and because you mentioned the Cayenne, and because you have an Mx5.  Extra mark if it's a mk1.

 

Now I feel I must defend the BINI. Given that there are so many on the roads, you should ask yourself why. All the clever BMW marketing, wouldn't help sell a product that is truly shite. Of course it's overpriced, and overhyped, but the handling and grip would piss on our mk1 mx5 and it would get to it's destination faster, and I'd be more comfortable. Mind you, it's the mk1 version that's the best yet again.

true, but I was commenting on others love of dodgy cars. It is indeed a mk1, are you trying to tell me there are other sorts of mx5? Surely some cheap Chinese rip off I am guessing. As for the Bini, the maths is very simple but I am happy to help. The number of Binis on the road is identical to the number of menopausal women who can't be bothered to track down a real mini. As for Binis beating a mk1 mx5, firstly do they ever do more than 20mph? Not round here they don't, and secondly, they wouldn't beat me on the corners as they would be too busy listening to radio 2 to work out the breaking point.

[New POD]

true, but I was commenting on others love of dodgy cars. It is indeed a mk1, are you trying to tell me there are other sorts of mx5? Surely some cheap Chinese rip off I am guessing. As for the Bini, the maths is very simple but I am happy to help. The number of Binis on the road is identical to the number of menopausal women who can't be bothered to track down a real mini. As for Binis beating a mk1 mx5, firstly do they ever do more than 20mph? Not round here they don't, and secondly, they wouldn't beat me on the corners as they would be too busy listening to radio 2 to work out the breaking point.

 

Well that's not how the two ladies in our house drive.  We've had 4 real mini's in the past, and quite frankly they were shite in 1959, and time never improved them much.  That one fact is the only car related thing me and my dad agree on. He had a new one in 1959, and went through 3 gearboxes under warranty.  The only good ting that came out of my 'real mini ownership is that I can weld, and with the mx5 that is going to need that particular skill.  

 

Now maybe the BINI is more the spiritual successor of the metro turbo, because get it somewhere near the redline, and the thing sings. They both (aged 48 and 19) know this, and frequently scare the shit out of me on corners, and I think I'm looking at fast road pads next time around as wife was mentioning brake fade (can't say I'd noticed) across country.

 

Our Mx5 is an underpowered 1.6 Monza with just 90BHP, and a poverty spec. It's great to drive, but be under no illusion, the BINI is the better car. (For now. research into forced induction may change that one day)

[purplebargeken]

I'd quite like a Bini.

 

See. I have no shame.

[Vince70]

For some reason I quiet like the idea of a pluriel as its very Autoshite with its clever roof and meets all the criteria such as Citroen bad build quality and leaks and cheap as chips ..

[martc]

I would love to drive a Robin Reliant or a Model T Ford.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I would feel a tit as neither of them exist.

[Tamworthbay]

Well that's not how the two ladies in our house drive. We've had 4 real mini's in the past, and quite frankly they were shite in 1959, and time never improved them much. That one fact is the only car related thing me and my dad agree on. He had a new one in 1959, and went through 3 gearboxes under warranty. The only good ting that came out of my 'real mini ownership is that I can weld, and with the mx5 that is going to need that particular skill.

 

Now maybe the BINI is more the spiritual successor of the metro turbo, because get it somewhere near the redline, and the thing sings. They both (aged 48 and 19) know this, and frequently scare the shit out of me on corners, and I think I'm looking at fast road pads next time around as wife was mentioning brake fade (can't say I'd noticed) across country.

 

Our Mx5 is an underpowered 1.6 Monza with just 90BHP, and a poverty spec. It's great to drive, but be under no illusion, the BINI is the better car. (For now. research into forced induction may change that one day)

but how can they drive so fast with the car weighed down by a town hall clock and 50kgs of 'grand kids on board' badges dangling from the rear weigh mirror? Then there is the weight shift when the industrial sized bags of worther originals slides across the tiny boot.

 

As for mini v Bini, the original mini was awesome for its time and is still a great drive. The Bini is pile of shite and the opposite of a mini - big outside and small inside. There are far better cars for the money and far better cars for less money! The metro turbo was awesome but does fall in the category of this thread as in they are a great drive but you would feel a bit of a tit in one these days.

[Sloth in a bowl]

I read the link as name that shiter to start with http://blog.caranddriver.com/name-that-shifter-no-81/

 

[UltraWomble]

I read the link as name that shiter to start with http://blog.caranddriver.com/name-that-shifter-no-81/

 

I so nearly bought a 4WD version of that before the /maverick as it was soooo cheap, missing seats just put me off. I would roll in it if I wasnt such a studmuffin

[purplebargeken]

I remember when the Pluriel launched in France. Nice looking thing. Seemingly it is French for 'leaks like a bastard and is impossible to remedy'.