Cars you didn't know existed until very recently.

[face]

They're fucking dreadful.

 

I also burst out laughing today - stuck in a little jam, I looked right and saw a low-spec BMW 1 series - filthy dirty and being piloted by a late-20s middle-classed, snob-faced twat with a beard.

 

I just thought that was so stereo-typical it made me burst out laughing.

[Timewaster]

 

The Hillman Trimp.

Less than 25 built, a mix of saloons,coupes (Trilettos), and vans.

April 1st?

[Pillock]

They're fucking dreadful.

 

I also burst out laughing today - stuck in a little jam, I looked right and saw a low-spec BMW 1 series - filthy dirty and being piloted by a late-20s middle-classed, snob-faced twat with a beard.

 

I just thought that was so stereo-typical it made me burst out laughing.

Right. It's not a hipster beard, it's a "I've got no important meetings so I can't be arsed to shave" beard.

The car is filthy because cars don't need to be clean, that's an extravagance.

Liking avocado on toast is not middle class.

 

I'll take the late 20s though. That's a compliment, I'm nearly 40 but retain my youthful looks. Where did you see me?

[rantingYoof]

Convertible SUVs are a thing now, don't ask why as I haven't the faintest idea.

 

Through the medium of memes, I think it came about like this...

 

Land Rover: 'Here's the Evoque. It's a lifestyle SUV to go with the umpteen others out there. Victoria Beckham blah blah etc.'

 

Certain people:

 

Land Rover:

 

Certain people:  'I WANT TO BUY A ROOFLESS DIESEL VERSION OF THIS.'

 

Land Rover:

 

Certain people:

 

Land Rover: 'Ummm....okay. Here is an Evoque with no roof.'

 

Certain people:

 

 

Everyone on Autoshite:

[martc]

 

It's that 'orrible the background is trying to run away from it, quickly.

 

(it's the picture of the soft top Evoque where it looks like the background is trying to run away from it, quickly)

[Felly Magic]

Didn't Datsun do one of their horrid SUV's as a floppytop too for the 'Merricuhn' market? The one with that gopping chrome grille

[fatharris]

Didn't Datsun do one of their horrid SUV's as a floppytop too for the 'Merricuhn' market? The one with that gopping chrome grille

Certainly did, the Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet.

 

Sent from my ONEPLUS A3003 using Tapatalk

[Tadhg Tiogar]

That's exactly what it was. Convertible SUVs are a thing now, don't ask why as I haven't the faintest idea.

 

It's one of those cars I do know exists but wish I didn't. Have the eye bleach at the ready before looking at this picture.

Looks like a Doc Marten industrial shoe, but without the practicality.

[quicksilver]

Something more pleasant than that topless Ewok abomination. This is not a 190E but a 190LE, a run-out special edition of 1000 that I'd never heard of. Apparently even Mercedes UK denied such a thing existed and told an owner that the LE badge must have been a Halfords accessory!

 

1993 Mercedes-Benz 190LE 1.8 by Adam Floyd, on Flickr

[davocano]

I can't believe I haven't taken a good look through this thread yet. It's gr8.

 

During the course of my "work" I often find myself behind the wheel of an Evoque 4-door hardtop; I quite like it but I have no other modern point of reference so maybe it's a bit shit, I really wouldn't know. I do know that the floppytop is not a pretty sight tho.

 

Anyways, bunglebus suggested I put this in here. It's a Lambretta Mink and only one was built.

 

 

Blurb CTRL-C / CTRL-V from auction website:

The UK Lambretta importer experimented with the idea of producing a microcar using a Lambretta engine and was once owned by the renowned Lambretta enthusiast and writer, Mike Webster. This example is the prototype of which production did not take place because, it is believed, handling was not good due to the long frontal overhang. The front two wheels were located halfway along the body and there was no way its road manners could be significantly improved with such a design. It is also alleged that the car was designed to be used as a runabout in Bermuda with a speed limit of 30mph. Certainly there is no evidence of any side screens for the Mink although there is a folding top so perhaps this was to keep the sun off rather than the rain.

The car was undoubtedly professionally trimmed out and its prototype status is confirmed by the fact that there are at least three different wheel arch profiles visible on the inside of the wheel arches on the fibreglass. The desirable SX200cc Lambretta engine which is currently fitted would undoubtedly have been able to propel the car up about 70mph. Other unusual features were a 12 volt electrical system with a dynastart mounted above the engine and driving via a ‘V’ belt onto the crank shaft fly wheel. Braking is hydraulic on the front wheels and hydraulic/mechanical on the rear wheel with a conventional cable operated handbrake on the rear wheel only. This car also comes with a metal frame and soft top plus a full tonneau cover An interesting vehicle which could be immense fun on the road.

https://www.historics.co.uk/buying/auctions/2017-07-08/cars/ref-34-1968-lambretta-mink-prototype/

[Dan_ZTT]

I parked next to a BMW 2 series MPV thingy today. What on earth is the point of that?

[Timewaster]

https://www.carmagazine.co.uk/car-reviews/ikco/ikco-samand-2018-review/

[rantingYoof]

I parked next to a BMW 2 series MPV thingy today. What on earth is the point of that?

 

The 2 Series Active Gran Tourer thing is the BMW I've sworn to take back to the 1970s or 80s as soon as time travel exists, so I can show the designers of the 635CSi and M1 what the company would be churning out in the future to hopefully prompt a TEMPORAL INTERVENTION.

 

It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't start at £26k...

[chaseracer]

I parked next to a BMW 2 series MPV thingy today. What on earth is the point of that?

 

Quite.  You'd think there wouldn't be any spare MINI platforms left over...

[rantingYoof]

Daihatsu Charade saloon.

 

Four electric windows and THOSE SEATS!!!

 

[Lacquer Peel]

Skoda Fabia Junior, no colour coding, PAS or glovebox, 1.0 OHV engine.

[LC Torana]

https://www.carmagazine.co.uk/car-reviews/ikco/ikco-samand-2018-review/

 

That would be nicer and much less annoying than nearly any modern car.

 

Soft, long-travel suspension and decent ground clearance.  Emphasis on ride comfort.  Probably quite decent on gravel roads.  A proper handbrake.  Wide fuel tolerance.  Not ugly - headlights not smeared halfway back to the windscreen.  No stop-start at traffic lights.  No automatic-lock-the-baby-in the-car nuisance functionality.

 

And you could fix stuff yourself.  The only pity is that all this is unusual.

[bunglebus]

Piagio Porter

 

20180422_154703 by RS, on Flickr

 

And a mystery - what is the black MPV thing? Sorry for the out-of-the-window shot

 

20180422_070954 by RS, on Flickr

[TataBobu]

I knew the model, I knew a lot about the top end versions, but I never knew that this beast exists:

 

 

 

[bunglebus]

Tourneo Courier

 

 

Skoda Praktik

 

 

 

[davehedgehog31]

https://www.carmagazine.co.uk/car-reviews/ikco/ikco-samand-2018-review/

 

But bear in mind that this is a car built principally for a region where the roads are pretty terrible – unpaved tracks, neglected tarmac – and then the soft, long-travel suspension and high ground clearance are virtues, not vices.  

 

Why are they talking about West Dunbartonshire? I thought this was an Iranian car.

[hennabm]

I parked next to a BMW 2 series MPV thingy today. What on earth is the point of that?

Ahh yes - the BMW Zafira. FWD BMW - no, no, no, no.

That's for Minis and other cars not proper BMWs.

[Supernaut]

I knew the model, I knew a lot about the top end versions, but I never knew that this beast exists:

 

image-thumb.png

 

Ooooh yes. South Africa only if I recall correctly. V8 in a Sierra from the factory! Lovely.

[cort1977]

Piagio Porter

20180422_154703 by RS, on Flickr

 

And a mystery - what is the black MPV thing? Sorry for the out-of-the-window shot

 

20180422_070954 by RS, on Flickr

 

Black thing is  Lincoln MKX.  They are related to some Ford tat that I can't be arsed to google and are the kind of car that used to keep the US industry afloat because they put $10000 worth of electronics on it, raise the price by $30000 and make a significant profit, see also Cadillac.  Sadly, the number of old white people prepared to do this has dropped rapidly so domestic premium brands are not profitable really.

 

 

For added shite points I have seen stretch limo versions of this thing, hideous.

[sheffcortinacentre]

Only 250 XR8s where made all mk1 hatches to homologate them for S.A. touring car racing (replacing the 3.0 XR6 cortina ) there are definitely 2 in the uk possibly a couple more.

 

Spec was 5.0 HO V8, T5 box, LSD, 15in 7 spokes biplane spoiler.

there's some good footage of both the above racing on youtube .

[vulgalour]

 

This manages to look frustratingly similar to lots of other SUVs and not like any of them at all.  It's a UAZ Patriot.

[Matt]

Weirdly, I kinda like them.

 

Me too. The styling is aggressive and IMO it has far nicer proportions than the Bini or 500 and it has some nice wheel designs too.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

https://www.carmagazine.co.uk/car-reviews/ikco/ikco-samand-2018-review/

 

My eyes!  My eyes!

 

Carwow did a review.  It was the usual fairly positive spin (after all, they're not going to damn a car) but it was full of thinly-veiled criticisms.  Some were so thinly-veiled as to be sheer.  Between that and the Evoque convertible we might have hit the nadir.

[Tayne]

 

This manages to look frustratingly similar to lots of other SUVs and not like any of them at all.  It's a UAZ Patriot.

I see 70 series Toyota Landcruise in that side profile

[JeeExEll]

And now for Something Completely Different.

 

"Hellloooooo".