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Shit you see at the side of the road


beko1987

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How do you tell the difference......................... ?

Believe me, I can tell a lot about your general health and diet from your scat. And its reasonably easy to tell human from say dog scat, ( size, shape, colour, smell, consistency...)

 

As has been said though, if your stools suddenly look like horse shit they you have issues...

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There's a book called Between The White Lines where one of the central characters collects things from the side of the motorway and stores them at his home. He's a total recluse and drives a Nissan Stanza.

 

I've got that, it's positively creepy.  When I read what he was driving, I immediately thought of you guys!

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I play the how far to the foreign lorry game, there you are poodling up the motorway, everything suddenly slows for a good rubberneck,  a car facing the wrong way round comes into view on the hard shoulder.

 

The game is to estimate the distance correctly to the foreign regd artic parked further up the road, average 400yds in the old money.

 

A variation on this is when you come up behind the wombles on the hard shoulder parked behind the foreign lorry, the game is to guess if the wrecked car will be up/down the bank on its roof or mangled but still upright on the hard shoulder a bit further along, bonus points for guessing which way round the car will be.

 

Best vision at the side of the road was at Highgate, circa 1987, there i am approx 1am leaving London with papers from the print, February cold clear night.

 

Woman, tasty 30's ish tanned possibly Latin, walking up the hill near Hexagons, high heels, stockings sussies, no nicks, bush-lovely, bra that pushed 'em but didn't cover the nips...thats was it, phwoar.

You know when something doesn't compute, that you see it but it don't register immediately, well that was one of those times, i didn't engage brain, or brakes till i'd gone by, but spun the lorry round the short one way bit at the bottom and nipped back for another perv, sod it, gone...but never fear that scene is etched onto my memory for all eternity, what a woman.

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Spotted today. Sugar beet. In Barnsley. Does not compute.

Baurgh Green/Cawthorne way?

 

I once saw a nearly dead oss (not pleasant) on the bad bend at Barnby Green - some tit had come flying round and managed to not see half a ton of lasagne and jockey and hit them. :(

 

There was a pram with a broken front wheel outside the library all day yesterday.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest bangerfan101

Using barnsley library for tinterweb grumble again sir ?

 

There's an empty beer keg thats been sat on the curb outside my flat since sunday that some drunken idiot dragged home from the pub ???

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  • 3 weeks later...

Ventured into the verge on the 303 looking for a stick to jack the back of my bike up and found nowt but slippy grass and bog roll. Quickly GTF out of there and balanced my bike on my bash hat to change the rear tube.

 

I work under a flyover in south east London and we get freshly riffled purses and handbags on the regular among the usual shoes, beer cans and car parts.

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How hard is it to just not piss in a bottle? I know you can't pull an HGV over anywhere and dash into a bush but a bit of forward planning surely means you shouldn't be having a slash at 56mph.

Having an empty bottle handy with a neck wide enough to fit your dick in IS forward planning. how do you know a lorry driver did it?

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