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Shit you see at the side of the road


beko1987

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There was half a dr pepper bottle of piss the other side of the crash barrier where I broke down on sat thinking about it.

 

We were classier than that, SWMBO went for a tinkle behind the matrix sign foundations, with some toilet paper and baby wipes. No scummy bottle for her!

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Found some dumped jewellery from a shop in Altrincham at the side of the road once near my parents' house - still had the price tags on. Rang the police and they came and collected it. 

 

Randomly clocked a stray Weetabix on the A56 when crossing the road. 

 

Dragged an enamel sign out of a railway siding once (no porn available).

 

:D

 

There was actually a Volvo 760 saloon abandoned for weeks on the Essex side of the Dartford Tunnel in 2002, when you had to pay scrapyards to take unwanted cars. It looked in pretty good condition.

I'm sure six-cylinder will be along in a minute to whinge about the cost of collecting it on public transport.

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  • 6 months later...

Did I ever tell the story of my clueless mate and his oppo when they were in their teens and tried to spirit away an "abandoned" Dolomite?

 

They were unable to start it on their first attempt despite putting fuel in it so returned later with a battery.

 

3rd attempt they put new plugs and leads on it

 

4th attempt they did the condensor

 

When they returned with a tow rope - it had gone!

 

So instead of nicking it ,they serviced the blokes car for nothing!

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The same pair once tried to get 150 miles home in a kippered mk3 cortina that was loosing water like a sieve.

 

They stopped for water wherever they could. Petrol stations, streams, animal troughs, an unguarded garden hose pipe - but they only had a 1lt bottle.

 

So their genius plan was to drink as much as they possibly could at every stop.

 

Bet you can guess why!

 

Give them their due. They did get home.

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The same pair once tried to get 150 miles home in a kippered mk3 cortina that was loosing water like a sieve.

 

They stopped for water wherever they could. Petrol stations, streams, animal troughs, an unguarded garden hose pipe - but they only had a 1lt bottle.

 

So their genius plan was to drink as much as they possibly could at every stop.

 

Bet you can guess why!

 

Give them their due. They did get home.

 

I considered that method of refilling once when my Marina burst a hose. I decided against it and used ditch water instead. The smell of the cooked ditchwater when I replaced the hose the next day made me very glad I didn't opt for Plan A.

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All men becoming whiny wimps, scared shitless of their own shadows?

Was driving from Newcastle to Norwich once, used to go after work on a Friday to visit a friend who'd moved there so it was 11pm/12am ish when I got there. There was a car full of lads on one of the long NSL roads near the end of the journey who were trying to flag cars down to stop, one of them just about jumped into my path so I pulled onto the verge. One of them came running over to the driver's window before I'd managed to get out, thankful that someone had stopped, but since I was on my own on some dark county road I thought "oh shit, this could turn out badly". All they wanted was a wheel brace 'cos they'd had a puncture and had a spare but no tools and were very polite - said they'd been there for ages because no one would stop!

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Wow, that's good going! Round here you know that if you break down and have to leave it in a layby overnight, it will be torched by the time you return!

 

Top tip- if you break down on a dual carriageway in an area like that try and park the car on a verge between laybys. I've seen cars last up to a week like that, when they would have been burnt out the same day if they were in a layby.

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A long time ago a friend who cycled to work every day told me to keep an eye on the verge when out on the bike as it's amazing what you can find. I started doing this for a while and managed to get quite a few useful items. The best by far however was a very nice Snap-On 3/8" drive ratchet. That was 20 years ago and I can still remember the joy.

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I often wonder if my old exhaust is still sat in the bushes on the sliproad at junction 13 on the M25. I threw it in there in a fit of rage after it fell off AGAIN on the way home from university. This would have been maybe 1998 or 1999, so there's a GOOD CHANCE it's still there.

 

Trouble is, if I stop to have a look in my own car I can guarantee someone will stop to 'help', and if I stop to look while in her car the cops will probably turn up :D

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Audio cassette tape; fair enough. But I have always wondered about the roadside videotape.

The M4 around Reading was the place for that, miles of the stuff. I don't know whether it was Betamax or VHS.......

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