Autoshite lexicon

[Formula Autos]

As the originator of this thread, I can’t help but think it’s degenerated into a catalogue of eBay listings terminology. 
 

Oh well ....

[Cord Fourteener]

  On 20/01/2021 at 12:25, Formula Autos said:

As the originator of this thread, I can’t help but think it’s degenerated into a catalogue of eBay listings terminology. 
 

Oh well ....

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Perhaps only temporarily.

It's definitely useful as a reference, I've had to refer to the useful bits a few times!

[Crackers]

Hopefully this fits in here, I've nowhere else to post this snippet I've bounced around a few times:

Solihull Roulette; the endless fun caused by JLR using the same warning chime to tell you it's a bit chilly outside, or that the gearbox is about to fall out - and you never know which one's going to happen next

[High Jetter]

Huh? You can guess the temp, it's probably something £xspensive.

[R1152]

Can someone explain 'FTP' to this noob please, because to him it either means File Transfer Protocol or Foil Twisted Pairs...

[83C]

  On 26/02/2021 at 10:45, R1152 said:

Can someone explain 'FTP' to this noob please, because to him it either means File Transfer Protocol or Foil Twisted Pairs...

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Fail To Proceed

[catsinthewelder]

  On 26/02/2021 at 10:46, 83C said:

Fail To Proceed

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Because a Rolls Royce never broke down but did occasionally fail to proceed.

[davocano]

Just stumbled across this page, I'm such an ingénue

https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Autosite

 

[High Jetter]

Who wrote that shite? It's Vauxholes, shirley?

[dozeydustman]

There are several terms on the uncyclopedia page which I've not come across in 3 years of membership....

[clayts450]

RSI (abbrev) Repetitive Shite Injury, the malaise encountered by those repeatedly mashing the refresh button on the DVLA website on MoT day

[Tadhg Tiogar]

  On 26/02/2021 at 10:46, 83C said:

Fail To Proceed

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See also the less common FTS - Fail To Start*


*usually encountered in big Citroens with battery problems

[Leyland Worldmaster]

Fucquilibrium. That fucked up equilibrium one experiences having paid for some expensive preventative maintenance; fuck me that's expensive/ well it is better to get this fixorated now whilst everything is off the car... 

[Twiggy]

  On 03/03/2021 at 18:58, davocano said:

Just stumbled across this page, I'm such an ingénue

https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Autosite

 

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Brilliant !

[busmansholiday]

  On 03/03/2021 at 18:58, davocano said:

Just stumbled across this page, I'm such an ingénue

https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Autosite

 

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They got Aldi and Audi mixed up !!

[Frenchenstein]

  On 07/12/2017 at 13:22, flat4alfa said:

 

One of those is in Somerset.

 

A Chevrolet Monza SR, brought in from Venezuela.  Was on eBay earlier this year, in a state so didn't sell at almost £2k.

 

 

    I think the fire is out now though.

 

The man on RR who has this shonky Monza also mentioned:

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I forgot “Shonky”, I heard that used for the first time in 1972; perfect word to describe an unloved, unwashed, down trodden, rust bucket, using excess burnt engine oil to subdue the flies drawn, in swarms, to it. (I’m going to use Shonky tomurrah!)

[CreepingJesus]

  On 22/03/2021 at 12:24, Leyland Worldmaster said:

Fucquilibrium. That fucked up equilibrium one experiences having paid for some expensive preventative maintenance; fuck me that's expensive/ well it is better to get this fixorated now whilst everything is off the car... 

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I've defined it to myself in the past, as that moment when I've spent a small fortune on parts and/or repairs, and the bloody thing resolutely defies fixing. It's the moment just before going full Basil Fawlty on it, when the entire universe is humming along just nicely thanks, except that bit I'm currently inhabiting, without two brass farthings to rub together.

 

Right, that's it, you're going to get a damn good thrashing...etc.

 

Also -and I'm not sure it's entirely relevant, but bear with me - as a result of someone mishearing what I was saying the other day, when 'valerian tea' became 'Bavarian tea'...

BAVARIAN TEA - a bottled brewed beverage from the Rhineland, sufficient consumption of which is helpful in overcoming the disappointments typically experienced after FUCQUILIBRIUM, FTP, FTS and IFFMBT among others. Analogous to, (and sometimes resulting from a misfortune induced by) DUTCH COURAGE.

[HMC]

The Solihull paradox. Rugged, tackle all off road vehicles whose metal components dissolve in West Midlands drizzle.

[Talbot]

As was prevalent in Kit Car circles a goodly few years ago:

"Video build" = A knackered VHS video of my mate ragging it around a field a few times, followed by 4 of us standing around the engine bay while it boils over.

[R1152]

  On 14/05/2021 at 11:37, Talbot said:

As was prevalent in Kit Car circles a goodly few years ago:

"Video build" = A knackered VHS video of my mate ragging it around a field a few times, followed by 4 of us standing around the engine bay while it boils over.

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Sounds like an episode of Top Gear in the Clarkson/Hammond/May era.

[Heidel_Kakao]

Alvis Stalwart - A moderation nightmare 

[Eyersey1234]

  On 01/11/2020 at 16:10, Saabnut said:

Reducing the fleet - what a shiter say he is going to do before not selling anything and buying at least two more projects.

This phrase is mostly repeated at regular intervals with the same outcome.

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Especially by @dollywobbler🤣🤣

[catsinthewelder]

Teabagging 

A way of upsetting owners of small blue plastic cars*

 

[carburettor]

Ok, I’ve read through 12 pages and I can’t find what RAF ( maybe when referring to an MOT? ) means, can someone help me please? 

[Datsuncog]

Not quite sure of the context you've seen it in, @carburettor, but possibly short for Retest And Fix?

I think that's when a garage MOTs a car as presented, and if it fails on something minor (like a split wiper or blown bulb) then it's first logged on the system as having failed, then logged again as a pass, and the garage then fixes the issue before presenting the owner with a pass certificate and bill for the test plus whatever work it's needed.

I think it keeps the test centre in question's pass/fail ratio within expected parameters, and avoids DVSA asking awkward questions about why they're logging 96% pass rates.

I could be talking bollocks, of course, since here in Northern Ireland the system doesn't work that way at all and if it fails on anything you have to take the car away and book a retest for another day - but I think I've heard others on here mention that they've had their car MOT failed, then immediately passed with a fix.

[320touring]

RAF = Rough As Fuck

[Datsuncog]

Yeah, I guess that would work too...

I was told by a tester that the underside of my 240 was "rough as a badger's arse" and he'd pass me this time, but he didn't want to see it back next year...

He didn't either; the next year it was on the oval at Mildenhall.

[High Jetter]

  On 11/10/2021 at 16:37, 320touring said:

RAF = Rough As Fuck

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That was my first thought too. Surely if it related to repair and re-test it would be FAR(t). Can you give us the context, @carburettor?

[carburettor]

  On 11/10/2021 at 18:03, High Jetter said:

That was my first thought too. Surely if it related to repair and re-test it would be FAR(t). Can you give us the context, @carburettor?

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Yes,

I posted an image of a Mazda 323, the 1998 model with 55657 miles. At £3295 or some such figure plucked out of the clouds and being described as  rare because it is the “Imola” model I thought the seller was  and probably still is dreaming. Someone replied RAF mot.

thank you 

[carburettor]

My daughter called to see me, and for me to check her (actually my) Clio Cumpuss  over, oil, water screen wash, tyres  etc

She looked and said “ Dad, is it  Rare As Fuck”

oh how stupid I feel.