The @barefoot car naming thread

[rusty_vw_man]

To save @barefoot the hassle of having to read all the threads to find out what people have called their vehicles and call them a twat, I thought we could have them consolidated into one thread. 

I see it a bit like confession - you confess your vehicle names, @barefoot calls you a twat and all is well in the world. 

I’ll start with the current names vehicles I own:

Bright orange Aygo called The Donald - it’s bigly orange. 
 

VW T25  called George the Second. It’s the second one I’ve had and the first one was called George. 
 

Motorhome called The Palace, as after a lifetime of shit camping this 18 year old damp filled caravan strapped to a Stellantis groups chassis feels palatial.  
 

The confessional is open. 

[grogee]

Mondeo: Monty

Avensis: Toby

Captur: Dillon

Hire Corsa from when Dillon was crashed: Terry

Maestro: Minnie

(These are all nu_Mrs Grogee's christenings) 

[Heidel_Kakao]

The only car I have ever named was Cedric but it was actually a Cedric so I don't know if that counts @barefoot what do you say?

[bangernomics]

Multipla - Nobber

That is the only one I have named.

[camryv6]

@barefootwill not respond to this thread he has just exploded

[Heidel_Kakao]

I wonder what would happen if he watched an episode of Thomas the Tank engine....

[barefoot]

Twats

[yes oui si]

People who name cars shouldn't be trusted.

[Dobloseven]

1 minute ago, yes oui si said:

People who name cars shouldn't be trusted.

What about that there Eddie Stobart,he used to give his lorries womens names?

[barefoot]

Misogynistic twat

[Dobloseven]

30 minutes ago, barefoot said:

Misogynistic twat

Apparently he would perform sex acts with the lorries.Eventually diagnosed as being HGV Positive!

[Jazoli]

Here’s Elon…

and Humphrey the dog, looking at Junior the cat.

waiting for the missus to come back in Penny the Puma…..

the hosepipe is called snakey, and the lamp lighty, and let’s not forget Danny and Colin.

[Andyrew]

Naming cars isn't my thing,  i do find giving them people names a bit odd,  jenny the clio or whatever, also giving the car a gender, but each to there own. 

I've referred to my car as a trusty steed and have had a few cars given names by friend.

But where does naming a project fall?

Take youtube for example

Kermit, Binky, independence, neighbour, general mayhem, bella, hemi gremi, blasphemi, project Chicago, the list goes on and on. 

 

 

[Sunny Jim]

Two of mine have names but not people's names. 'Cos it's electric and a bit crap, the Nissan van is Boogaloo and the hearse camper is The Grim Sleeper. The  C15 I call Vincent because the Welsh for red van is van goch and I can't resist a pun. I once had a knackered Transit called Gloria (sic transit gloria in case you were wondering).

[barefoot]

Twat

[Supernaut]

I must admit I've never named cars beyond "that fucking thing..."

[captain_cal]

Where do I send my application to be Barefoot's apprentice?

[Supernaut]

5 minutes ago, captain_cal said:

Where do I send my application to be Barefoot's apprentice?

Are you trying to master the art of calling everybody a twat?

[High Jetter]

2 hours ago, Dobloseven said:

What about that there Eddie Stobart,he used to give his lorries womens names?

Actually, according to the TV documentary a while back, drivers who'd been there a certain time were able to choose names for their new trucks. It came over as a perk appreciated by them, some using a combination of wife/partner and daughter(s) names - and made life more interesting for the 'Stobart Spotters' as they could write names in their notebooks instead of/alongside reg numbers. Smart move Eddie (or his daughter)

I'm with @barefoot though - My Mum calling my Dad's knackered open 2-seater 1940s or 50s Riley 'Bertha' put me off giving cars names for life, but I try not to judge people. 😀 

[barefoot]

1 minute ago, High Jetter said:

I try not to judge people. 

Me too.

Unless they're twats who name their cars.

[Pieman]

My Polo is called Blaze, purely because the number plate ends BLZ.

This was prompted by a friend of mine when I first got my Focus that I had before the Polo - she immediately noticed the Focus's plate was POJ so called it Podge.

[FakeConcern]

The only car we've ever used a name for was this Escort 

EROL, purely because of the number plate. Even so it was always it not him.

 

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, Pieman said:

My Polo is called Blaze, purely because the number plate ends BLZ.

This was prompted by a friend of mine when I first got my Focus that I had before the Polo - she immediately noticed the Focus's plate was POJ so called it Podge.

I will sometimes admit to creating monlkers from the 3 letters. A friend bought a SUV when he cashed in part of his pension, the letters were VRC. I called him a Very Rich Chap every time I saw him in it, which pissed him off as he really wasn't 😀

[rusty_vw_man]

In a moment of clarity I realise that it’s not me that’s named my cars, it’s the women in my life. I’ve quite happily managed to own two Golf’s and an Omega without names, but then I was single at the time. I’ve also had Rupert, Winston, Georgina, George and Boris whilst in relationships (which out of context might be quite a sentence). 

The only one I really got behind the name of was Boris, a spiteful mk3 golf estate that was quite dishevelled and tried to kill us both repeatedly but somehow survived named after Boris the Sneaky Russian  from Snatch…. 

So, still a twat, but possibly less so than I thought I was.

 

 

[Cavcraft]

I call my motorbike with a knocking bottom end 'Barefoot'

Once it starts it doesn't half grumble.

[High Jetter]

56 minutes ago, Cavcraft said:

I call my motorbike with a knocking bottom end 'Barefoot'

Once it starts it doesn't half grumble.

Twat 

😀

[wuvvum]

I've never named any of my cars, but our family cars when I was growing up all had names, mostly loosely based on the car's number plate but not always.

Renault 6 - Bluebell (it was blue...)

Astra estate - Aslan (it was a sort of tawny brown colour a bit like a lion, it was A reg and the number plate ended RRO which sounded a bit like a roar.  Plus CS Lewis is buried in the churchyard round the corner from where we lived at the time)

Renault 21 Savanna - Evelyn (number plate contained the letters E, Y and N)

Red Montego estate - Genevieve (number plate ended GVU)

The green Montego never got named

Volvo 240 estate - Wimbleweather (a giant from the Narnia stories, because the car was big and the two letters in the number plate (French registered) were WM)

I left home after that so wasn't privy to any subsequent names, but I do know that the Civic they owned a couple of years back was called Shio because the plate started SH10.

Interestingly, although my mum was usually responsible for the names, she never named any of her own cars.

[Spiny Norman]

Only car I've ever given an actual name was Tasha the Volvo. 
Trekkies may get it. 

[Merryck]

My old green Mini was called Eleanor because it didn't like starting in the morning and I often found myself saying "Don't do this to me", which is what Nicholas Cage says to the Mustang in Gone In 60 Seconds. A friend made the joke and it stuck.

My wife's 98 Corolla was called Reginald, because it looked like a Reginald.

The Land Rover is called The Baroness. This is a tenuous one. When we got it it was utterly fucked (more so than it is today if you can believe it) and it was lethal to drive. The steering was heinous, and you had to really know what you were doing when you approached a corner. It's big and red. So anyway, big and red -> red baron, doesn't corner -> "The Lady is not for turning" -> Thatcher -> Baroness Thatcher -> The Red Baroness -> The Baroness.

The Micra is called Lady because the plate ends in LDY and it sits next to The Baroness and it would be unseemly to have a peasant in such company.

The names are never used, all cars are referred to by their model, unless there are two of them then it's colour/model.

So far we've never had a matching colour/model combination so I haven't had to broach that issue yet.

[eddyramrod]

I've named many of my previous cars, the whole concept appeals to my sense of whimsy.  Some have been obscure, some less so; one or two have even come to me with an existing name that I've honoured.  All you have to do is read my signature to find the current selection of WiFeY and Jazz Club, both named from their number plates.  

There have also been times when I haven't bothered; I now suspect I simply didn't like the individual cars enough to name them.  So there have been plenty of "The Fiat," "The Marina," "The Lada," etc.