Parking Wars

[MrGTI6]

Parking on my road has become a lot more tight recently due to neighbours' kids learning to drive. A couple of neighbours also have large vans for work, and I don't help matters by often having more cars than I need. It's particularly busy at the moment due to one of the neighbours having a massive extension built.

Despite this, there's no animosity whatsoever. Everyone parks considerately, taking up as little space as possible. There's an unspoken rule that a couple of the larger gaps are left for the vans unless there is no other option. 

Those of us with cars park considerately in whichever available gap happens to be nearest to our front door. Some days you get lucky, others you don't. 

I've always taken the civility for granted, but I'm also aware this isn't the norm.

Some of the stories I hear from friends/colleagues about parking-related conflicts are quite unbelievable.

Any Shiters with tales to share about their territorial neighbours?

[auntiemaryscanary]

We lived on a busy street, v few had off-street parking. The street was steep and cars parked both sides meaning through traffic (it was a cut through too) was reduced to one car width which led to frequent road rage and occasional violence.

In the house directly opposite us lived a couple. He was alright, she was deeply unpleasant and thought the road outside her house was her personal parking space. She'd park within an inch of the line of her neighbours wall and wasted about half a space the rest of us could have used.

The house next to us was a rental and folks changed frequently. One tennant took to parking in the nasty woman's space. The tennant found multiple marks where their car had been keyed. Neighbour picked on the wrong tenants, he was a squaddie, she was a civilian call handler for the Police. Police paid nasty neighbour a visit. We never found out if the Police did anymore than a severe telling off.

Occasionally I'd have to park in "her" space when nothing else was left and I had 2 young kids to get across our hideous road. She'd always come and ask/tell me to me move my car or even my disabled dad's when he was visiting. I usually did move my car but never rushed to do it.

Thankfully we moved 5 years ago to a street where everyone has a drive for at least 2 cars and anyone with more cars (including us) parks on- street, considerably and without any conflict. 

We still drive up and down our old street. The arsehole female neighbour still parks as close as possible to her next door neighbours boundary line. Strangely enough no more cars were damaged when parked outside her house.

[Zelandeth]

Heh.  We made the mistake of buying a house that's a stone's throw from a school.

It is not uncommon at arrival/kick out time to find cars parked on our driveway - on more than one occasions then blocked in by someone else.

"But there's nowhere else to park..."

Except the completely empty road with no frontages on it 50 metres further up the hill.  The lady who drives her four kids (I kid you not) 250 metres to drive around in circles for 10 minutes trying to get parked to drop/off pick them up does make me scratch my head.  Especially when I often see her delivering them from parked further away than their own house because it's the nearest they could find to park...

Basically just don't plan on even thinking about trying to leave or enter the area between 8-10 or 1430-1600.  It's just not worth the stress, and is often just impossible anyway!

"It would be so much easier without all you fucking residents here!" Apparently.

I didn't bother pointing out that if there weren't any residents here there wouldn't be a school there...arguing with that type of stupid just isn't worth it.

[RayMK]

It is very rare to have parking territorial issues in the branched cul-de-sac where I've lived for 30+ years, but there are occasional problems.  During covid, someone parked their car on 'our bit,'  this being a shared bit of driveway which looks like the public road but is in fact private, jointly owned and maintained by three properties, responsibilities being as divided by the deeds for each property,  one of them being mine.  The strip that the car was parked on was owned by my neighbour.  We jokingly began to show interest in the abandoned car when covid restrictions had relaxed a bit, checking to see if its tyres were any good and the correct size for any of our vehicles.  Eventually the owner was traced. He apologised for parking there and admitted to thinking it was just a bit of public road.  We have more frequent dustbin wars because a house which changes hands more frequently has owners who are unaware of the single  row of cobble stones marking the end of our three-house shared driveway bit having any significance.  We have to wheel our bins on to the public bit for collection, so he ends up with potentially 8 bins (including his two) on the section of road outside his property.  No driveways are obstructed, but under cover of darkness he often moves bins away from his* bin parking space.  If the bin men are feeling a bit stroppy, they won't empty bins which are beyond the cobblestone demarcation line.  It's a wonder how the bin men manage to reverse their lorry down sections of the cul-de-sac.  As cars have become more numerous and larger, clearance is marginal even when SUVs are parked half on the pavement.     

[danthecapriman]

Where I used to live in Hampshire things started off fine but quickly started becoming problematic with two schools nearby, one at each end of the street, there was a church opposite us too which made things worse on Sunday’s and they had a playgroup thing during the week too. 
After a few years things got worse when a pair of old bungalows opposite us were demolished and replaced by a big retirement apartment building (in a crooked deal with a bent local councillor) then shortly after that they built a big health centre at the end of the road with insufficient parking - which was brought up numerous times at planning meetings and the planning objections, but every time was ignored and the building went ahead regardless.

The schools: we never had it bad enough that driveway were parked on but they were regularly parked over. I had numerous confrontations with cuntish selfish parents blocking our entrance. A few times I managed to block them in by parking my old company van right up against their car! You’ve got to play dirty sometimes unfortunately, but it was hilarious watching them try to get out. They’d never knock on the door to ask though! Too embarrassed I expect.

The church: we tried to be respectful with that, difficult as it was at times. They rarely blocked us in/out parking on the street but double parking down both sides of the street often caused no end of problems. Buses would regularly get stuck and the drivers have to go into the church to get cars moved.

Retirement apartments: had a rear car park which was (as always with new builds!) not big enough and any staff/nurses weren’t allowed to park there! Which meant they all ended up parking all over the street instead. Again, double parking and blocking driveways was regular. 
One funny occurrence was one of the owners of the building used to park an expensive EV SUV thing out in the street regularly but would just abandon it half a mile off the curb or at terrible angles. One day we came home from walking the dogs to find an accident where some chimp had tried forcing their way past it with an oncoming car also there and ended up hitting the EV SUV thing smashing the absolute shit out of both cars.

Health centre: these were arse holes. They (staff and patients) did not give a shit about anything or anyone. They’d block drives, block the church playgroup access road, block pavements, double parking, the lot. One of the doctors would religiously park her Mercedes right up against our driveway entrance which made it impossible to get anything big, like my van or Mercury in or out. One day I asked her if she could please park a bit further back to just get a flat ‘NO’ from her! From that point on I took every opportunity to park my company van right up against her Mercedes blocking my own driveway in the process but I’d get the big metal step on the back millimetres from her bumper and leave it. She must’ve found it a nightmare seeing down the road when trying to pull away! 
One day I was having a big timber delivery for the garden so I went out early, parked my car outside the house and put some cones out either side of it to reserve the space for the delivery truck. The truck arrived so I told the driver, who had parked down the road, I’d move my car and he could take the space… so I moved my car, walked back and stood in the space to stop anyone parking in it during the  60 or so seconds it’d take the truck to get here… sure enough Mr Audi Bell End see’s the space so comes flying down the road swerving into the space nearly running me over! He winds the window down and asks wtf I’m doing. By now the delivery truck is behind him trying to pull in. I politely tell him I’m holding the space for the truck behind you but it’ll only be 5 mins… to be instantly hit back with ‘WHAT! Where the fuck am I going to park then!?’ I told him I couldn’t care less and he screamed off up the street.  
The delivery truck driver heard it all from his cab and couldn’t believe it either. 

What just absolutely epitomised that area though was the day we moved out. It was a Friday morning and we had all our cars out on the street and a couple of car transporters arrived to take the Mercury and Capri to the new house and two moving trucks. We were taking up most of the available street parking that day but it was unavoidable. It got bad when the school traffic started though - the parents were too important for trivial things like giving way or waiting so they started just driving down the pavement past all our parked vehicles treating the pavement on the opposite side of the road as another lane of the road! This was at school time so there were pedestrians walking around too. It’s unbelievable! Like these people are just completely ignorant of anything outside of their primary goal of dropping their brat(s) at the school gates. Anything or anyone in the way of that be damned.

Where we live now is a quiet dead end road and we have absolutely no problems thankfully. 
The old house was going to get even worse soon though when the prick next door starts building on the land there and planning for 80 new builds was granted for down the end of the street too. 
None of the problems with traffic and parking get considered seriously when it comes to planning applications. It’s just a case of pile more and more property in, bring more and more money in, but screw all the things like roads, parking, drainage etc etc that’s the problem for all the residents to deal with later and we don’t care.

[hairnet]

Not really wars but its permit round here when the footys on

Some goat felcher parked out side thr house but made the mistake of overhanging the concrete pad into the house - i could get in and out but the old git likey wouldnt - she scraped the gate with the civic within a week of us moving here

They were unceremoniously towed out on the main road and left

[Pieman]

31 minutes ago, danthecapriman said:

It got bad when the school traffic started though - the parents were too important for trivial things like giving way or waiting so they started just driving down the pavement past all our parked vehicles treating the pavement on the opposite side of the road as another lane of the road! This was at school time so there were pedestrians walking around too. It’s unbelievable! Like these people are just completely ignorant of anything outside of their primary goal of dropping their brat(s) at the school gates. Anything or anyone in the way of that be damned.

Reminds me of when I was walking back from the post office near my place a few years ago at school kicking out time.  Traffic had built up due to parked cars on a fairly busy road near the local primary school, and suddenly one woman in a Range Rover (of course) decided she couldn't be arsed to wait in the queuing traffic so floored it and drove down the pavement past everyone...the same bit of pavement which I happened to be walking along at the time!  Luckily I was able to dive onto someone's drive and get out of her way, but what if I'd had headphones in or otherwise not seen or heard her coming?

I managed to get her reg number and reported it to the police but heard nothing back.

[danthecapriman]

6 minutes ago, Pieman said:

Reminds me of when I was walking back from the post office near my place a few years ago at school kicking out time.  Traffic had built up due to parked cars on a fairly busy road near the local primary school, and suddenly one woman in a Range Rover (of course) decided she couldn't be arsed to wait in the queuing traffic so floored it and drove down the pavement past everyone...the same bit of pavement which I happened to be walking along at the time!  Luckily I was able to dive onto someone's drive and get out of her way, but what if I'd had headphones in or otherwise not seen or heard her coming?

I managed to get her reg number and reported it to the police but heard nothing back.

I couldn’t believe it when I saw them doing it when we moved. 
If it was their kid walking along there and someone ran them over driving on the pavement they’d be up in arms about it.

We used to get parking problems at work sometimes. People parking across substation gates, despite a plethora of no parking access required 24 hrs etc signs and double yellow lines. We had one twat do it while we had our vans parked inside the substation one day! Two big vans parked inside clearly visible and the gates to the street open, yet he rocks up and parks directly over it!? You have to wonder what is going on in some people’s minds. Common sense and basic courtesy just seem to have gone out the window.

A really annoying one was once down in Portsmouth. There was a substation in the rear car park of a dentist’s surgery we were taking out for maintenance. It was down one of those tight Victorian terrace streets with the surgery in a converted house. Car park entrance was a single lane down the side between two of the terraces. Plenty of No parking signs and markings showing where it was. 
We had to do it in the evening after the surgery had closed so we could then use the car park for our vans, oil bowser trailer and a big truck mounted generator set. We got everything in with the generator truck going in last because of its size. Getting the vans in was tight but the driver of the generator truck had a real job on getting it into the entrance way. 
We did the job, then packed everything up and went to leave… only to find someone had parked directly opposite the car park entrance (in a space clearly marked no parking specifically for this reason!) which unfortunately meant the generator truck could no longer get anywhere near enough swing to get back out onto the road and worse, all our vans were stuck behind it!😆

Knocked on doors but nobody knew whose car it was. Rang police but they couldn’t trace the owner and wouldn’t send anyone to tow it. In the end we had to ring another one of our team and get him to come out and pick us up to get us all home. We abandoned the truck and our vans in the dentist car park overnight. 
The next morning we had the dentist surgery owner on the phone going ape shit (rightly so too!) because we’d promised to have everything clear the following morning for when they opened up but obviously couldn’t.

Fortunately by morning the car had gone so we got straight out.

[Pieman]

In that situation I'd have brought in a forklift and shifted the fucker with that.  Lift it, get the vans out, then put it back with a suitable sign on the windscreen.

[danthecapriman]

1 hour ago, Pieman said:

In that situation I'd have brought in a forklift and shifted the fucker with that.  Lift it, get the vans out, then put it back with a suitable sign on the windscreen.

Or put it back upside down😄

[Alan_Green]

There was a post on my local Facebook group asking if anyone knew the owner of a brand new Dacia Spring that'd turned up one day but had not moved an inch in 4 months, and was blocking a driveway a little.  The next day a guy said "Sorry, it's mine, I'll get it moved, I've just lost my foot in a freak accident".  

[Lord Sterling]

Where I live is a lovely, small Georgian town, most of the people are nice, except for when it comes to parking.

I park mainly in a cut through road whenever there is space, and the Jag, or whichever car I'm not mainly using that week, gets parked in a small service road entrance.

The road bit:

This road can be quite difficult to get a space. But at certain times of the day, mainly mornings and sometimes evenings or very late nights, you can get a space as there is always someone grabbing free parking, doing their business in town and then leaving.

The service road:

The service road is where the XJ is parked in the picture. On the entrance to the road are about 4 spaces for a block of flats, so these are private, one prick just storeshis scooter on there, on another space sits an abandoned VW Polo that I've posted up on these pages in the abandoned thread. Next to that are a block of tired, old, but very much in use garages and in the corner is a small cottage with a big garden, opposite that is an area that is private parking for another block of flats that also has a narrow walkway to the main high street.

Then, where my S-Type is parked in the pic, is a private parking area for a business that fronts onto the main high street where I live.

I have a sort of agreement with the guy who owns the business that I can park there of weekend so long as my cars are gone by Monday morning.

He kindly once let me park my crashed Jag XJ there in the corner and didn't leave any "DO NOT PARK HERE" notes on it as they will do if you leave your car there. The XJ was there for a few weeks.

Others:

Up the hill at the rear of my house are a several cul-de-sacs. One has massive 3-storey houses and you can park on the pavement/road outside. The others have yellow lines, except one which yellow lines only go up to a certain part and stop.  The residents there have driveways and can park easily on their driveways, but choose mainly not to, being bloody minded because they don't want other people parking outside their house which is such a dickhead thing.

One time back when I was borrowing Ma_Sterling's Micra, I parked on that road as there was a spare space. Unfortunately, a fat angry woman took it up on herself to come bursting out of her house, which backs onto said road (she also has a driveway and garage moaning and complaining about me parking my car there. I should have told her to go forth and multiply, but being a sap, I just said; 'soz, nowhere else to park' as I couldn't be arsed with a conflict. The bitch later marked "cunt" in a dirty patch in the Micra, I returned the favour by depositing a phat dirty phlegm of spit on her window followed with a smashed egg in her cars' windscreen.

What gets me, is that nowhere that I have ever lived, whilst I have been able to drive and own a car, have I ever had my own parking, a place I can leave my car and know its there when I get back. As stupid as this sounds, it can cause me a bit of anxiety. 

[busmansholiday]

There are double yellows outside my house which do not apply to anyone dropping off or picking up from the dancing school down the street, despite the public car park being nearer. 

[vaughant]

On 21/02/2026 at 13:30, MrGTI6 said:

Parking on my road has become a lot more tight recently due to neighbours' kids learning to drive. A couple of neighbours also have large vans for work, and I don't help matters by often having more cars than I need. It's particularly busy at the moment due to one of the neighbours having a massive extension built.

Despite this, there's no animosity whatsoever. Everyone parks considerately, taking up as little space as possible. There's an unspoken rule that a couple of the larger gaps are left for the vans unless there is no other option. 

Those of us with cars park considerately in whichever available gap happens to be nearest to our front door. Some days you get lucky, others you don't. 

I've always taken the civility for granted, but I'm also aware this isn't the norm.

Some of the stories I hear from friends/colleagues about parking-related conflicts are quite unbelievable.

Any Shiters with tales to share about their territorial neighbours?

I've always had at least 1 or 2 parked across the road on the "no man's land" area that finishes our road and joins the one across it. 

Never been an issue for me but there's a guy who always parks at least 3 pieces of chod there and always has done which seemed to cause huge issues in the street with the old folk despite it not actually affecting anyone. One woman walked past daily checking the tax discs on them and then when it went online you'd see her writing the numbers down in her book..... Odd as she doesn't even live in our street 🙄🙄🙄.

Anyway over time his collections have got a lot less in our street but there's a guy living here now, well two actually, who really does take the piss as he thinks it's ok to constantly park outside other people's houses that use their "own" space outside. 

The p.o's to his house just used the lawn for parking as they had a few cars and one day I saw him digging up the front with his Mrs, great stuff, they're getting it ready to make a hard standing.... Nope, making some shit garden out the front meaning he's parking MORE cars outside other people's houses.

He then gets scaffolding on the side so he's parking even more cars in the street. His ignorant son loves to park almost to the edge of the woman across the road from his house and I can see with all the other shit he's got parked around, she can't always get out easily. They had a friend come over the other day with a volvo estate and it got left there for a month when they must have gone on holiday. We're over an hour from the nearest airport 🤣🤣🤣 .

Then the other guy across the road has twin axle caravan parked over the pavement with a fucking 240v extension lead trailing across the pavement into his garage!!! Also totally blocking the neighbours garage.

Along with 2 other cars as well. 

What amazes me though is that NOBODY says a fucking word to them because they've all suckarsed the old cunts in the street. 

I parked my car outside a duffers house once for about 6 hrs when my plasterer had to use the drive. Came back and he'd tried his very hardest to block me in.... Which of course failed yet when I came out to move it he said there watching waiting for me to hit his car. 

Fucking unreal.

He said to me a week later about " moving my car from over the road, it's been there ages" and when I pointed out it was the other guys car he says "oh that's ok then, I'm sure he's got a goid reason". I just walked off huffing.

He's never risked parking outside mine because I did tell him previously that if someone starts parking wars around here I need no excuse to buy more cars and leave them outside that persons house.

 

[sierraman]

People seem to get very excited about the prospect of someone parking in front of their house, if I ever get that upset that someone has parked on some land that’s not mine I think I’ll need to have a word with myself. 

[vaughant]

30 minutes ago, sierraman said:

People seem to get very excited about the prospect of someone parking in front of their house, if I ever get that upset that someone has parked on some land that’s not mine I think I’ll need to have a word with myself. 

Sorry I've described it badly 🤣🤣.

So there's kind of a "no mans land" area at the side of the house on the corner, still road where you can park at least 5 or 6 cars not affecting anyone. There's almost always at least 3 or 4 spaces there at any one time.

Until he arrived in the street, we've always respected that the unwritten rule is parking outside your own house is just that, your space. Now, where we are can be used as free parking to go to the beach nearby but it's a bit of a walk so not used by everyone so quite often you come home and find the space gone. Again, totally fair as it's not ACTUALLY our space but when you know it's someone else's house, know that parking a camper van outside their house is going to cause hassle, make it difficult for people to reverse in/out of their drives, encourage your children who also can't park to leave the space outside your own house free I think is a bit cuntish.

[danthecapriman]

Another funny one I had when I was at SSE,

Down our street we got letters from the gas board giving us a week long window where they were digging up and laying new gas pipes so access to driveways would be temporarily blocked and no street parking for the duration.

Being a good boy I did exactly what they suggested and parked my work van elsewhere during the week. So as not to piss anyone off in nearby streets by parking a big blue Sprinter outside their house I knew of a local substation a couple of streets away and decided to park outside that. Best solution temporarily, so I thought. 
My van had literally been parked there one night when a complaint came in about my van at work! The next door neighbour to that substation had rang in asking about my van and why all of a sudden it was there. 
Fortunately I had a good boss who explained to them who’s it was and why it was there and it’d be gone after a week. Which they accepted. 
That evening after I went home I parked the van there again and thought I’d knock their door and just explain the situation and reassure them it was nothing to worry about. They were actually lovely people and totally fine with it. Their concern was because a few years previously some scum bag had been using the same space to hide stolen vans! They were wondering if it had started again. 
No problems with them, and while chatting to them they mentioned the boundary fence to the substation was falling to bits so the next day I got our civil’s department at work to look at replacing the fences. Within a week they’d been in and done the whole fence down the side of their garden which the neighbours were well happy about.

Goes to show, not everyone is being an awkward bastard despite first appearances.

[High Jetter]

On 22/02/2026 at 07:37, busmansholiday said:

There are double yellows outside my house which do not apply to anyone dropping off or picking up from the dancing school down the street, despite the public car park being nearer. 

We have similar, 2 roads away at a Junior school. A few park in our cul-de-sac which is OK as it 's not for very long. The school has markings on their side of the road so parents fill up the double yellows on the other side, reducing the road to single file. On a 90 degree bend. If you want to hear some abuse, ask them why they park there. 🙄

[vaughant]

3 hours ago, danthecapriman said:

Goes to show, not everyone is being an awkward bastard despite first appearances.

They're not you're right.....

 

Unless it's in my street where the cunts that were there when I moved in are either dead or still cunts sadly 🤣🤣🤣.

 

 

[Rustyrotavator]

The road i live on has Edwardian villas with driveways on one side and semis without drives on the other. - which is the side i live on, lol.

Its a nice road ,and people are good natured  but occasionally someone will moan about a 'villa 'car or van being parked on the road, and taking a parking space on the road that could be used by someone in a semi without a drive.

Im completely unsympathetic! And usually respond with 'I know what you mean, it disapointing tht we only could afford a semi , not a villa with driveway....but I bought a house , not the road, and at least im not that guy sat on the floor outside Tescos.

Be proportionate FFS.

[stuboy]

where erindoors lives it a bus route, and its first come first serve.. though some neighbours think back up to 1 inch of my bumper is acceptable... idiots

[kevins]

I live on a culde sac and parking down there is fine, the problem is where it exits onto the more main road which is a 30 but dead straight, idiots (usually for events at the local church) park on the grass verges(well mud baths now) right up to and at times even overhanging our road making it impossible to see anything when pulling out. Council aren't interested, probably have to wait till someone get seriously injured or worse like the next road up where they got some bollards after a big accident.

[straightSix]

Looks like some dirty cunt has spat on my car so apparently my parking has pissed someone off

[N19]

My street is a dead end - one of the things I like about it. When I moved in it was a free-for-all, but became permit parking in 2022 owing to it being right next to a hospital. This is a double edged sword. It does mean that there are no longer issues with hospital staff/visitors parking for long periods of the day (the car park is inadequate and the district health authority won't extend), but it does mean fewer spaces as the permit spaces had to comply with all sorts of rules around sight lines, overlap etc etc which wasn't previously the case. I also have parking behind my flats, on private land. Ostensibly one space per flat, which is balanced out between those flats which have no car and those which have two.

Everyone gets along and there's a reasonable amount of help and decency. For example, when someone was having their kitchen and bathroom done, they asked if they could keep the space next to the door to the flats free rather than lug heavy stuff from the other end... everyone's decent. A couple of the spaces are awkward (difficult to get into and quite tight) so if I'm on holiday I'll leave a car in there to keep a better one free for someone else.

Everyone except one neighbour who thinks he's more important than everyone else, and will kick off at people (but never big blokes) if they park opposite his house. As it's his parking space. For a car he hardly ever drives. 

[GMcD]

My old house was a 2019 new build. The parking was one of several reasons I was glad to move. It was ok at first but then started to get mental as neighbours either changed or neighbours kids got older and more and more cars appeared on the street.

Narrow streets, too many cars, people parking across drives and all over the pavements. On several occasions I had to ask neighbours to move their cars so I could walk up my own fucking path to my front door.

I had the last laugh as the guy who bought my old house is a builder . He leaves a skip permanently on the drive and has a  LWB Renault Master that he just dumps on the pavement or opposite driveways making it near impossible to get in.

He's fallen out with half the neighbours as he doesn't give a shit. He just tells them all to fuck off. 😂. 

 

[Mrcento]

When i had the Cinquecento on the road, i got a note left on my windscreen from a neighbour ordering me not to park in the communal spaces, because my car was 'too small' and 'The spaces should be left for bigger cars'.

So i went and bought a Land Rover Discovery a few weeks later.

Can't say i'm not one to please!.

[Spiny Norman]

We have a car park at our flats, with about 28 spaces for 42 flats. Of course some families have two or even three cars so it can get a bit tight at times but no-one moans unduly. We can park on the street if need be. 

What is becoming a problem is because it's private land people have cottoned onto the fact they can dump any old un-MOT'd, un-taxed, uninsured shite there indefinitely with no recourse to get them shifted. The Police aren't interested, parking on someone's land  is a civil matter, ditto the DVLA who will lift dumped cars off a public road but not private property and the council aren't interested unless it's in a dangerous condition. And because Scotland we can't even get them lifted by a private contactor so it's starting to get people's backs up. 

Still, every cloud... If anyone in Glasgow wants a safe-ish place to store a car for let's say £25 a month I may know a place... 🤣

[cort1977]

Nothing to add but I did enjoy this bit of Aussie goodness.

Source: YouTube

 

[barefoot]

My neighbough, a hateful, cat stealing lump of elderly lard doesn't actually drive or own a car. However, her equally elderly 'partner' turns up most nights in his disco and parks it outside. It depends who he's unhappiest with that day, me or Callum, next door but one, which boundary he will parks right up against - to the milimetre. My Rover spends its resting days parked outside on the street in exactly the same place, and Callum occasionally leaves one of his on the street too. One fateful evening, my Scirocco was returned by the garage who'd been working on it, and left in the street parked out of everyone's way up against the big blue 75. When I'd finished my dinner, I spotted the keys to my car had been posted through the letter box so I nipped out to back it onto the drive. Callum also had a car in the street, leaving insufficient room for cunty-bollocks to claim his rightful spot, so he'd  wedged his car in diagonally. I could have shuffled mine about, but it was tight, so I just locked it up and forgot about it. Now, whenever I have to leave my Scirocco on the street, I park it right outside next door's, leaving me plenty of room to back up and manouvre out when the fucker inevitably parks up against its bumper.

[Volksy]

49 minutes ago, barefoot said:

My neighbough, a hateful, cat stealing lump of elderly lard doesn't actually drive or own a car. However, her equally elderly 'partner' turns up most nights in his disco and parks it outside. 

This made me chuckle. And couldn't resist feeding it into AI to see what it came up with.....