Certified Nonce modifications

36,392 · July 21

41 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

Seatbelt pads

I used to have them when I passed my test. I thought they were fantastic addition and looked cool but tbh never sure why I really got them. Iirc Sparco bought from my local Motorworld (anyone remember them?)

Anyway my late nan was quite a short lady, so always had the seat belt rubbing against the side of her face. Invariably ended up holding it away most of the time. She was ecstatic when I took her somewhere and she found that such things existed. I think I donated those seats belt pads to her in the end. 😅

23,212 · July 21

2 hours ago, Dave_Q said:

y.

Everyone is getting on pretty well, there are various levels of drunkenness on display but there are a couple of uncles in here who have clearly had too much to drink, have pissed themselves (yet again) and are stumbling round going TAXI DRIVERS, FUCKING NONCES, AM I RIGHT?

TBH, as a taxi driver I will confess to enjoying the occasional "struggle cuddle."

2,389 · July 22

8 hours ago, warren t claim said:

TBH, as a taxi driver I will confess to enjoying the occasional "struggle cuddle."

19,040 · July 22

9 hours ago, egg said:

Can I try a bit of my usual fence sitting?

Is referring to any group (yeah even Corsa drivers) as a negative stereotype without the distance of humour or irony or even some sympathy cool? No not really.

But.

Were several taxi drivers convicted in the grooming scandals of the Northern Towns and cities? As a statement of fact, yes they were.

No offence to taxi drivers, but the few I have known personally, have probably not been pedophiles, but still had zero morals with regards to their own marriage vows.

Worse, one ran a car with bald tyres. Twat.

5,360 · July 22

12 hours ago, SiC said:

I used to have them when I passed my test. I thought they were fantastic addition and looked cool but tbh never sure why I really got them. Iirc Sparco bought from my local Motorworld (anyone remember them?)

Anyway my late nan was quite a short lady, so always had the seat belt rubbing against the side of her face. Invariably ended up holding it away most of the time. She was ecstatic when I took her somewhere and she found that such things existed. I think I donated those seats belt pads to her in the end. 😅

This reminded me about these.

Then that reminded me of Klunk Clip every trip, which remained me of Jimmy Savile...

6,704 · July 22

14 hours ago, Dave_Q said:

Fucking yawn, take the screenshots to the flounce forum and discuss it there.

Maybe I need to get one of these.

So much for debate and conversations there chap.

The irony of the flounce forum moniker isn't lost on me 😂.

That odd typeface on the screen / side window seems to be a indicator of potential Nonce-ness around here. Usually coupled with clouds of shitty rolling coal remaps on VAG products...

11,713 · July 22

47 minutes ago, red5 said:

That odd typeface on the screen / side window seems to be a indicator of potential Nonce-ness around here. Usually coupled with clouds of shitty rolling coal remaps on VAG products...

Have you seen/heard that twat in the grey BMW F30 3-series hardtop which seems to sound like it's exhaust is about to fall off? It honest sounds like his engine is about to explode when he accelerates.

2,795 · July 22

2 hours ago, morrisoxide said:

This reminded me about these.

Then that reminded me of Klunk Clip every trip, which remained me of Jimmy Savile...

I still have a set in my Corsa B 😅

3,447 · July 22

On 20/07/2024 at 17:29, egg said:

Am I rong, or surely does the unburnt fuel in the exhaust that causes the pops and bangs surely damage the catalyst?

Hopefully - on the other hand they have probably removed it.

36,392 · July 22

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/1115790786157969/

Three different prices it's been at. All that money spent on a 4cyl diesel BMW.

Yet asking at similar money for a 6cyl petrol or diesel with better starting performance from the factory.

6,737 · July 22

On 21/07/2024 at 00:02, JJ0063 said:

How about the latest plates, 4D ‘bubble’ (yes they’re actually legal) 🤢

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGenmkbaX/

They're back! Haven't seen them for about 20 years. They were big in the Max Power scene

I suppose they were never that common, but they were cool to people in that world

3,447 · July 22

43 minutes ago, SiC said:

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/1115790786157969/

Three different prices it's been at. All that money spent on a 4cyl diesel BMW.

Yet asking at similar money for a 6cyl petrol or diesel with better starting performance from the factory.

Lacking front reg plate for extra nonce/barry points

16,293 · July 22

Nurburgring sticker on back of tailgate.

The best sticker I saw was one that looked like those but actually said 'Nuneaton Ring Road'. I've been looking for one ever since but haven't found one yet.

Re: nonces, I reckon there might be a decent Venn diagram to be drawn with 'caravan enthusiasts' and 'slow school drive-by'.

28,090 · July 22

Twelve years ago I had one that was the outline of Skye on my MX5

23,212 · July 22

11 hours ago, New POD said:

No offence to taxi drivers, but the few I have known personally, have probably not been pedophiles, but still had zero morals with regards to their own marriage vows.

Worse, one ran a car with bald tyres. Twat.

Although many single drivers shag around I can only think of a couple of married lads who take payment by "Gash Card".

23,212 · July 22

2 hours ago, grogee said:

Nurburgring sticker on back of tailgate.

The best sticker I saw was one that looked like those but actually said 'Nuneaton Ring Road'. I've been looking for one ever since but haven't found one yet.

The Laguna 2 I bought from @Cavcraft had a neverbeen parody Nurburgring sticker on the back.

Most of us over on www.thedarkwob.co.uk have stickers saying Nurembergrally with the race track an outline of Hitler's head.

4,487 · July 22

Falcon has a Bathurst track sticker on back, total confusion from 99% of viewers.

18,437 · July 22

4 hours ago, grogee said:

Nurburgring sticker on back of tailgate.

The best sticker I saw was one that looked like those but actually said 'Nuneaton Ring Road'. I've been looking for one ever since but haven't found one yet.

Re: nonces, I reckon there might be a decent Venn diagram to be drawn with 'caravan enthusiasts' and 'slow school drive-by'.

4 hours ago, loserone said:

Twelve years ago I had one that was the outline of Skye on my MX5

the best ones are the ones that are nothing to do with the ring

m60 m25 evo triangle - saw a cannes nice monaco one once

July 22

2 hours ago, warren t claim said:

Although many single drivers shag around I can only think of a couple of married lads who take payment by "Gash Card".

As a taxi driver of 15 years I can honestly say I've never taken payment by "gash card".

I'd honestly rather have the money than be accused later on by some drunk midden of sexual offences, no matter what they look like.

Drunk female passengers are the absolute worst tbh, I've got some stories about their antics as well.

28,090 · July 22

8 minutes ago, GregZX said:

be accused later on

This sounded like the most likely ending

22,117 · July 22

On 21/07/2024 at 10:21, bangernomics said:

In fact any customised van.

Gzongenflatch
In memory of Phil.

https://www.donedeal.ie/vintagecars-for-sale/retro-1987-ford-transit-mk2-might-part-exchange/37437326

Shit,I've just spotted this for sale!!

July 22

For a proper custom van, it has to be a really well done Ford Econoline or Chevy day van, with amazing artwork of Lancelot and a very scantily clad Guinevere and a Draylon interior, or, an ex-builder CF Bedford, [complete with dents and rust] with the dodgiest paint job done with Halford's rattle cans, spoiler and wheel arches pop riveted on, unpainted] with of course, standard wheels, with the stickers saying ' Don't laugh, your daughter may be inside' or 'If the van is a rocking, don't come a knocking'.

19,040 · July 23

10 hours ago, warren t claim said:

Although many single drivers shag around I can only think of a couple of married lads who take payment by "Gash Card".

The husband of my wife's friend, used the cover of being out at all times of the day or night, to conduct multiple affairs. I suspect that the women involved were never actually customers although one, used to text him, asking for a ride, cutting out the taxi office.

7,108 · July 23

Have we had "light bars on a 4x4"?

100% cast iron guarantee that someone needs their (probably a beige tower) computer confiscating.

16,293 · July 23

Poppy memorabilia/we will never forget etc

Spend their days combing the internet for "Tommy Robinson" demonstrations, and use dark web to "exchange files".

5,446 · July 23

22 hours ago, hairnet said:

the best ones are the ones that are nothing to do with the ring

m60 m25 evo triangle - saw a cannes nice monaco one once

Former colleague of mine had the Top Gear test track on the back of his Accord Type R, had to ask him what that one was!

12,718 · July 23

i stuck this on the rear of my mk2 mondeo..... in a 2 fingers to all the track wannabes

20,513 · July 23

Fanny Magnet Picasso off Kitch had one of these on the back:

7,254 · July 23

Just need to double check if this fits my vehicle…..

23,212 · July 24

I'm sure I read on here years ago a post from a shiter saying that when Roy Walker from Catchphrase dies he's going to have some car stickers made up saying..

JUST SAY WHAT YOU SEE and IT'S GOOD BUT IT'S NOT RIGHT

Roy Walker 1940-202x

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