Advert platitudes

[bangernomics]

What’s your favourite/least favourite adverdrivel?

 

If only everything in life was as reliable as a Volkswagen. I remember that one when I ran air cooled beetles usually with enough end float to put dents in the rear panel.

 

 

Could it get any worse?

[sierraman]

BMW - The Ultimate Driving Machine... on a 114D, of course...

Ford - Everything we do is driven by you... no it isn’t it’s driven by the shareholders and the accountants...

Vauxhall - Once Driven Forever Smitten... I drove a Frontera once it was absolutely awful, I certainly wasn’t smitten and neither were the people driving around in Astra Merits.

Rover... The craftsman’s touch... I don’t know many craftsmen that would own up to inlaying a digital clock into some fake wood. 

[Metal Guru]

Vorsprung Durch tecknik always reminds me of Arbeit Machs frei.

[goosey]

Citroen - Engineers in Value 

in the Ad the airbag exploded blasting money all over the driver 

And the stupid Mazda adverts where you had to turn the volume up to hear what they were saying 

[Supernaut]

11 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

Vorsprung Durch tecknik always reminds me of Arbeit Machs frei.

Back in the mid-2000s I worked at a small garage that did van rentals. However, they also had a mechanic who both looked after the hire vans and also did repairs on customer cars.

One day he emerged from under an Audi 100 and in the thickest Doric accent you can imagine, bellowed "VORSRPUNG DURCH SHIIIIITE!" before wandering off to put the kettle on. Now that's all I can think of every time I hear Vorsprung Durch Tecknik.

[Dobloseven]

Ford Capri. The car you always promised yourself. Perhaps not a beige1.3L with chrome hubcaps though. 

[Doctormop]

As a kid in the late 1970's I remember seeing a 'Ford Gives You More' slogan taking centre stage (rear window) of a Morris 1300;

Around a year later I noticed a 'Buy British Don't export Your Jobs' sticker on a Volkswagen Beetle.

Still makes me think all these years later.

[mk2_craig]

Renault Build A Better Car, circa late eighties. 
 

I’ve said this before, but it reads better as a request than a statement. 

[captain_70s]

Morris Marina - Beauty with brains behind it.

On a plain jane family car with numerous ridiculous design flaws.

[bunglebus]

...and driven by morons according to my dad at the time 

[wuvvum]

13 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

Vorsprung Durch tecknik always reminds me of Arbeit Machs frei.

The thing that annoyed me most about that slogan is that in the radio and TV ads they never made any attempt to find anyone to do the voiceover who had even the vaguest idea how to pronounce German.  So you'd always get some Brummie twat going "Owdee.  Voar-sprung durtch teck nick".

[wuvvum]

I've mentioned this before, but the recent Honda adverts wind me up a bit - they will describe some feature fitted to the new Jazz or whatever, like automatic emergency braking or park assist, like it's some wonderful new invention that those clever, clever Honda engineers have come up with, rather than a feature that's fitted to pretty much every new car and in some cases is even mandatory.

[Metal Guru]

4 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

The thing that annoyed me most about that slogan is that in the radio and TV ads they never made any attempt to find anyone to do the voiceover who had even the vaguest idea how to pronounce German.  So you'd always get some Brummie twat going "Owdee.  Voar-sprung durtch teck nick".

TBF though, no one ever pronounces Volkswagen as it is in German.

[DVee8]

The original Nissan Almera  'The Car They Don' t Want You To Drive' 

Yep that worked.

[meggersdog]

8 hours ago, bunglebus said:

...and driven by morons according to my dad at the time 

always reminds me of this

 

[UltraWomble]

On 5/27/2022 at 11:13 AM, goosey said:

 

And the stupid Mazda adverts where you had to turn the volume up to hear what they were saying 

"Thats Amazing...."
"No. Thats a Mazda"

[chodweaver]

The thing that annoyed me most about that slogan is that in the radio and TV ads they never made any attempt to find anyone to do the voiceover who had even the vaguest idea how to pronounce German.  So you'd always get some Brummie twat going "Owdee.  Voar-sprung durtch teck nick".

Wasn't it Geoffrey Palmer of Butterflies fame* who voiced the "the Werners, the Schmidts and the Bergers are all driving to Marbella" Audi ad?

...which in turn was the springboard for his legendary* "Slam in the lamb" ad series for the UK's Meat Marketing Board

[chodweaver]

...though, listening to it again now, it doesn't sound like him. I don't remember him sounding quite so affectedly posh. Anyhow, my favourite line from him is from Butterflies, describing his status as a dentist, (which I'll probably misquote as)

"I fix women's teeth. Make them look beautiful.
Puts me on a par with God"

[horriblemercedes]

15 hours ago, Doctormop said:

As a kid in the late 1970's I remember seeing a 'Ford Gives You More' slogan taking centre stage (rear window) of a Morris 1300;

Around a year later I noticed a 'Buy British Don't export Your Jobs' sticker on a Volkswagen Beetle.

Still makes me think all these years later.

I remember years ago seeing a sticker on a Volkswagen Golf that read "Support British Farming" 

 

I did wonder what the owner thought was so special about supporting agriculture here that didn't apply to the car industry 

[bangernomics]

Ford Capri. The car you always promised yourself. Perhaps not a beige1.3L with chrome hubcaps though. 

Don’t be too hasty.


Could it get any worse?

[Ghosty]

The car in front is a Toyota. 

Thanks for reminding me, I'd already read the badge. 

[bangernomics]

Austin Metro, a British car to beat the world.


Could it get any worse?

[Fumbler]

On 28/05/2022 at 07:57, meggersdog said:

always reminds me of this

 

And this!

 

[Fumbler]

I remember a few years back BMW used the line "sometimes what you want is what you need". I think it was on a 7-series advert or something on TV.

[Metal Guru]

On 29/05/2022 at 13:39, Ghosty said:

The car in front is a Toyota. 

Thanks for reminding me, I'd already read the badge. 

I always think of that when I’m stuck behind one. My next thought “not for very long”.

[Macscrooge]

Love driving, hates garages.  Citroen BX TV ad.

later 'borrowed' by Autocar(?) for their long-term Montego review - Hates driving, loves garages....

[Macscrooge]

I did rather like Volvo's mid '90s "a car you can believe in" strapline.  I could and did!

[Macscrooge]

I recall that in the late '70s Chrysler claimed that the Sunbeam was "a small car to beat the world" or some such rot.

[wuvvum]

On 5/29/2022 at 2:14 PM, Fumbler said:

And this!

 

Ah yes, the Fiat Viva HB.  I remember those.

[Inspiral_Mondays]

1980s Renault 5 slogan.

What‘s your‘s called?

Rusty.