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Best phrases in car adverts

RoverFolkUs

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Cooper1 Rank: BL Wedge

Cooper1

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, lesapandre said:

Sellers who use death as a selling point.

"Selling on behalf of my old Gran following the death of my Grandad" etc.

 

Who is still in the car hence sale ;)😂

MisterH Rank: BL Wedge

MisterH

Posted
Posted (edited)

A round of Scenic Bingo

Bollocks Price aside, We have:

Quote

A very rare one this !

Quote

Purchased new by Mr Booth of Knutsford on 14th September 2000 and kept ever since

Good to know I suppose

Quote

Having spoken with Mr Booth he has confirmed that the Renault has been serviced every year
( Initially by Renault and then a local garage after that )

Glad you spoke to the owner, at least it probably wasn't nicked

Quote

We will have the car serviced and inspected with a new Cambelt change ready for the new keeper

I should bloody well hope so for what you're asking for it...

Quote

Arrives early April Please Call Michael to discuss and arrange a viewing

Why have you put it up this early then? I know its rare and all but it is a Renault Scenic after all...

 

 

 

...ok I have had a tiring day at university which involved driving from winchester to Bath and back, but still, I must be on to something right?

 

 

One last thing:

Quote

Low Mileage of 96000 miles in 22 years ( 4360 per year )

and the Icing on the Cake 

Quote

£3,990 As stated

https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1433073

Edited by MisterH
Link
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
1 minute ago, MisterH said:

A round of Scenic Bingo

Bollocks Price aside, We have:

Good to know I suppose

Glad you spoke to the owner, at least it probably wasn't nicked

I should bloody well hope so for what you're asking for it...

Why have you put it up this early then? I know its rare and all but it is a Renault Scenic after all...

 

 

 

...ok I have had a tiring day at university which involved driving from winchester to Bath and back, but still, I must be on to something right?

 

 

One last thing:

and the Icing on the Cake 

 

Linky? 😁

I wanna see this!

RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
4 minutes ago, MisterH said:

https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1433073

Car and classic 🤣

What a delusional bloke

He's also asking £4290 for a 2003 Polo and £5000 for a Mazda 323. Also supposedly sold a Volvo V70 that was up for £5000 (really!?)

All three of them belong in the bargains thread 😂

HMC Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

HMC

Posted
Posted

“Drives without fault”

Sweeping statement, and often not backed up by the test drive.

“no test pilots”

Perhaps I’ll never be able to find out?

 

  • RoverFolkUs
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Eyersey1234 Rank: Renault 16

Eyersey1234

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, HMC said:

“Fully loaded”

Very useful  to the browser only if they happen to know all the specs. Also assumes the vender knows every possibly option the car could have come with. When it come to eg Mercedes that’s quite a tall order. Ok it could just be a figure of speech rather than to be taken literally. Or is it?

#pedant

Volvo and Saab were good at that as well. I remember once reading about a white base spec 850 Estate that someone had bought, except it was effectively a GLT with the 7 seat kit. 

  • RoverFolkUs
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RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
5 minutes ago, HMC said:

“Drives without fault”

Sweeping statement, and often not backed up by the test drive.

“no test pilots”

Perhaps I’ll never be able to find out?

 

I saw someone selling a Yaris privately the other day for over £10k...

"I've SORNed it so no test drives at all sorry" 

"Full service history, last one was Sept 2019 due to pandemic" 🤦

It was a Hybrid. So free road tax. Nothing stopping them from taxing it (it's free FFS) and taking out a short term insurance policy to give prospective buyers confidence in the car!

No way would I pay £10k for a car without driving it beforehand, especially when its a private sale with no comeback!

  • lesapandre and Eyersey1234
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Jazoli Rank: Lancia Gamma

Jazoli

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

I saw someone selling a Yaris privately the other day for over £10k...

"I've SORNed it so no test drives at all sorry" 

"Full service history, last one was Sept 2019 due to pandemic" 🤦

It was a Hybrid. So free road tax. Nothing stopping them from taxing it (it's free FFS) and taking out a short term insurance policy to give prospective buyers confidence in the car!

No way would I pay £10k for a car without driving it beforehand, especially when its a private sale with no comeback!

None of that would really concern me on a FSH Yaris hybrid,  probably about the safest bet you could make. 

AnnoyingPentium Rank: Isuzu Florian

AnnoyingPentium

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

He's also asking £4290 for a 2003 Polo

Oh that's a couple of years older than the Fabia. Might be able to offer him 5k for it... 🤣

  • RoverFolkUs
  • Like 1
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
4 hours ago, Jazoli said:

None of that would really concern me on a FSH Yaris hybrid,  probably about the safest bet you could make. 

You would buy a car for £10k caveat emptor without test driving it?

Fine at a dealer, you have recourse

It was a 64 plate, so the batteries could be shitting themselves if not now but very soon

Erebus Rank: Citroen Ami

Erebus

Posted
Posted

"Genuine one owner car" when it's clearly one previous owner and even that probably isn't true...

  • Eyersey1234, lesapandre and RoverFolkUs
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dome Rank: Lancia Gamma

dome

Posted
Posted

Picture of car on back of transporter.

"Just missing part of exhaust"

Aye, you're a fucking lazy cunt who's chopped the cat off and can't be arsed to break the rest of the car. 

In

The

Sea

 

big_al_granvia Rank: Renault 16

big_al_granvia

Posted
Posted

barn find classic====== put in a council lock up 30 years ago and forgotten about until the grandweans of the owner had to clear out said lock up

skoda_fan Rank: BL Wedge

skoda_fan

Posted
Posted
On 3/12/2022 at 7:40 PM, grogee said:

"Here we have..."

Worse still: "SO, here we have...."

 

  • chaseracer and grogee
  • Like 2
Pieman Rank: Renault 16

Pieman

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, skoda_fan said:

Worse still: "SO, here we have...."

People who start every sentence with "So", written or spoken, make me want to pull all their teeth out with a pair of rusty pliers.

RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Another I've just thought of..... 

"Pulls in every gear" 

Isn't that what it's supposed to do? 

Wouldn't be a very good car if it only worked in 1 or 2 gears!

GR8 PL8 M8 Rank: BL Wedge

GR8 PL8 M8

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Another I've just thought of..... 

"Pulls in every gear" 

Isn't that what it's supposed to do? 

Wouldn't be a very good car if it only worked in 1 or 2 gears!

And the massively overused...

"Pulls like a train"

  • grogee, Eyersey1234 and AnnoyingPentium
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AnnoyingPentium Rank: Isuzu Florian

AnnoyingPentium

Posted
Posted

"RuNs LiKe It'S oN rAiLs, M9".

Never have I wanted so badly for people to be run over by the shitbox they're selling until I've read that in their listing.

RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
1 hour ago, GR8 PL8 M8 said:

And the massively overused...

"Pulls like a train"

I was hoping to leave that one out! 😁

29 minutes ago, AnnoyingPentium said:

"RuNs LiKe It'S oN rAiLs, M9".

Never have I wanted so badly for people to be run over by the shitbox they're selling until I've read that in their listing.

Must say I don't recall hearing that one before, is it a northern thing? 😉😆

  • AnnoyingPentium and Eyersey1234
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AnnoyingPentium Rank: Isuzu Florian

AnnoyingPentium

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Must say I don't recall hearing that one before, is it a northern thing? 😉😆

Jump on the Faceache Marketplace and set your location to somewhere in Scotland, see if any come back with it. I've heard it a couple of times, even from a salesman for Fiat at one point... 😆

  • RoverFolkUs
  • Like 1
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
11 minutes ago, AnnoyingPentium said:

Jump on the Faceache Marketplace and set your location to somewhere in Scotland, see if any come back with it. I've heard it a couple of times, even from a salesman for Fiat at one point... 😆

I shall do that later 😁

  • AnnoyingPentium
  • Like 1
Metal Guru Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Metal Guru

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, GR8 PL8 M8 said:

And the massively overused...

"Pulls like a train"

0-60 in about 2 minutes.

  • Dan_ZTT, AnnoyingPentium, RoverFolkUs and 1 other
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jamescarruthers Rank: Citroen Ami

jamescarruthers

Posted
Posted
On 3/12/2022 at 2:06 PM, sierraman said:

Harold Shipman and Dennis Nilson were Doctor and a Civil Servant. You’d willingly buy a car from either of those.

Beggars can’t be choosers when I comes to choice of Mk. 1 Espace though. 

AnnoyingPentium Rank: Isuzu Florian

AnnoyingPentium

Posted
Posted
28 minutes ago, Metal Guru said:

0-60 in about 2 minutes.

Oh? I thought we were measuring it with a calendar.

  • Eyersey1234
  • Haha 1
Eyersey1234 Rank: Renault 16

Eyersey1234

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, GR8 PL8 M8 said:

And the massively overused...

"Pulls like a train"

What they mean is its noisy as fuck when it pulls away 🤣🤣

  • AnnoyingPentium, RoverFolkUs and MiniMort
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