Most stupid message while flogging a shiter

[Dave_Q]

27 minutes ago, DodgyBastard said:

You're either interested or you're not.

Chances of buying it? No chance.

Saw this sexy little heap on FB, TBH you are very cheap on price. This guy would be an insta-delete for me on the basis that the ad clearly states it has no carb, so how the fuck does he think you might have had it running?

There's a group you may already be in called Great Fun on Small Bikes, they unironically love this sort of thing and I would expect it to go quick on there. 

[garethj]

On 9/10/2022 at 2:12 PM, sierraman said:

I won’t do them now as a seller, I’ve not got the patience. After last time we had a massive negotiation over a pair of curtains, the woman was determined to pay £2 for them. I’d have literally fought to my death to get the £5 for them on principle. After that I decided in the interests of my own liberty I wouldn’t attend another as a seller. 

I’ve only done one or two and it works if you just accept their offer, in fact it’s funnier.  Don’t price anything up, when they pick it up and ask how much it is, ask what they want to offer and just say yes.

Fuck the alternative, which is putting a £50 item up for 5p and getting offered 2p for it (genuinely happened)

[DodgyBastard]

4 hours ago, Dave_Q said:

Saw this sexy little heap on FB, TBH you are very cheap on price. This guy would be an insta-delete for me on the basis that the ad clearly states it has no carb, so how the fuck does he think you might have had it running?

There's a group you may already be in called Great Fun on Small Bikes, they unironically love this sort of thing and I would expect it to go quick on there. 

It's cheap but I'm just trying to get back what it owes me to make way for a little jawa moped.

I tried great fun on small bikes but got the usual "too far away" comments.

If I had any sense I'd buy the bits to get it going and relist it for more as a runner but don't really have the space/time if this other moped arrives this week.

 

£600 for this little jawa that's running and roadworthy doesn't quite make my Puch look as much of a bargain.

 

[wuvvum]

Those Jawas are great fun.  A mate at school had one, he'd fitted an expansion exhaust similar to the above and a bigger carb and it flew - would sit at 40+ all day long.  One thing he did want to do but never quite managed it was to tweak the gearbox so it held onto first gear longer.

[jon.k]

On 9/11/2022 at 11:59 AM, JakeT said:

One of my pals has been dealing with this.

 

He’s selling a 2008 BMW 630i, had it since 2019 I think. I’ve helped him out, and we’ve done the big jobs on it. All suspension is new, brake are good, we put six injectors in it, and he had the gearbox reconditioned in it early on in his ownership. It’s as good as it’s been during his ownership. He’s had it listed for a while, and hasn’t seen a lot of interest.
 

One interested party has been asking every “I’m fucking clueless” question under the sun, including the standard comments of ‘I really wish it had main dealer history’. This is on a £4,500, 14 year old BMW.

 

This reminds me how much I hate selling cars. I usually run them until they’re totally done and sell for a tiny amount. Usually a nice Polish chap that gives me an agreed amount, loads it on a trailer and exports it to Holland or somewhere similar. No kesh price bollocks or asking if the first owner preferred bitter or lager.

When I sold my 15 year old 530i the chap turned up for his second viewing with a roll of blue roll and plastic gloves and started complaining about things like that the brake discs and pads weren't new, whilst his dad sat prodding every single button in the cabin.

[JMotor]

Really not looking forward to advertising the 306 now. 

But it'll have to be done and put up with the questions. Already getting comments about the wrong wheels being on it and that'll hurt the value (🤦‍♂️ ffs!) from a specific FB page.

Do have a question to end with. Is it worth being up front and telling people to fuck off early if their being a bammer or wait a little longer?

 

[andyberg]

If you bin them early we don't get content for this thread 🤣

[DavidB]

On 11/09/2022 at 09:50, sierraman said:

This. I don’t need a potted fucking history, this is purely a business transaction. These enthusiast types are always completely fucking clueless mechanically, whittling about if the trim is correct for the year and then dithering. Worse still is when they bring ‘someone knowledgeable’, it always someones dad who, armed with the 1995 Top Gear Used Car Tips will run a magnet over the body, asks silly questions like ‘is the mileage genuine’ and inevitably is completely outdated in his knowledge thinking he’s looking at a fucking Triumph 2000. 

 

At least he's coming to collect though. I made 70 quid on this, not including about £200 on parts/labour and a £50 MOT, so he can not be doing the enthusiast thing before he drives it away.

[sierraman]

2 minutes ago, DavidB said:

 

At least he's coming to collect though. I made 70 quid on this, not including about £200 on parts/labour and a £50 MOT, so he can not be doing the enthusiastic thing before he drives it away.

This is another thing when people justify a piss poor offer by telling you ‘it will go to a good home’. It’s an old car not a fucking orphan!

[JMotor]

Thinking about it. I've had a fair few stupid/daft folk when selling stuff.

Got this message from someone while selling an engine. 

If it was a pal. Aye, I might of. Just for a loan just for said reason. 

Just politely said no. Because that leaves me trying to find another coil pack for an engine I'm selling as a working package. 

[Kiltox]

4 minutes ago, JMotor said:

Thinking about it. 

Got this message from someone while selling an engine. 

If it was a pal. Aye, I might of. Just for a loan just for said reason. 

Just politely said no. Because that leaves me trying to find another coil pack for an engine I'm selling as a working package. 

Is it some massively rare engine they can’t just go to a fucking motor factors and get a coil pack for?

[JMotor]

5 minutes ago, Kiltox said:

Is it some massively rare engine they can’t just go to a fucking motor factors and get a coil pack for?

An X20XEV. So maybe kinda rarer now? 😂 

£30-£40 off eBay for an new one. Or you'd thought Euros could get one quickly?

[sierraman]

You’ll find thick people do mad stuff like that though, that’s why life is such a struggle for them because their thought process dictates that instead of replacing the coil they’ll go out and spend a Wednesday night in the rain asking stupid questions the day before the MOT. 

Grammatically the message is difficult to follow, another big fucking warning sign. 

[Rod/b]

On 9/10/2022 at 3:04 PM, Rust Collector said:

We just got rid of a fairly nice sofa as part of our rearrangement of the house ready for the baby. My mrs wanted to sell it, but I couldn’t be fucked with dealing with morons and rolling in the dirt wrestling over a tenner. I said she could sell it but I’m not talking to anyone, waiting in for anyone, lifting anything… she wasn’t so keen on the idea then. It was too nice to chuck, so we gave it to charity instead. No money for us, but no fucking idiots either. Two lads came in a Luton, carried it out, took it away at the agreed time. All I had to do was open the door and say hello, which I can just about manage.

 

Flipside to this, we had an old bed to get shot of recently, and a charity was looking for furniture for some Ukrainian refugee kids, so we gave it to them.

Some stinking fat cunt and his mate came to collect it stunk the whole house out. It smelled like he’d slept in his own shit apparently. 

As soon as they left my Mrs noticed the back door key was missing but didn’t suspect anything. Charity workers right?

A day or so later the local shopkeeper posted on the village facebook group that this fat cunt had walked into the shop, helped himself to two mobile phones the staff had left on the counter and nicked a load of booze. 

Cue one very rapidly replaced back door lock…

 

 

[JMotor]

Update on the enjin.

Messaged by another fella. Asked a couple of reasonable questions about it, I sent a video of it running with some more pictures. Agreed a time. Then says yesterday he could come down sooner, like that night!

Came as promised. Was happy with the engine package. Paid the full price, help him to load in his van. Then chatted for about an hour. Went off happy.

Straightforward and no hassle. 

[camryv6]

3 hours ago, JMotor said:

Update on the enjin.

Messaged by another fella. Asked a couple of reasonable questions about it, I sent a video of it running with some more pictures. Agreed a time. Then says yesterday he could come down sooner, like that night!

Came as promised. Was happy with the engine package. Paid the full price, help him to load in his van. Then chatted for about an hour. Went off happy.

Straightforward and no hassle. 

Yes but a really boring story, couldn't you jazz it up a bit, say he threated you or something ! 😉

[sierraman]

56 minutes ago, camryv6 said:

Yes but a really boring story, couldn't you jazz it up a bit, say he threated you or something ! 😉

At least tell me he slapped you about a bit then offered you £14 which you took before he smashed your doors in. I thought this thread was for entertainment purposes, I don’t want to hear about successful, agg free transactions! 🤣

[JMotor]

😂

Jazz it up a little..... Hmmm....

He demanded I break the engine down. Like to every single bolt and nut in order.

Then didn't buy it as he found one jubilee clip wasn't from a MY97 car but from a MY99 one. So I'm being taken to court and might loose everything I have because it wasn't as described.

Pish story, I ken! But eh! I tried 😆 .

 

[inconsistant]

On 9/8/2022 at 11:09 AM, inconsistant said:

I’ve advertised my son’s mountain bike on facebook for £75…

 

Ooh I’ve got an offer!

 

 

Heading in the right direction at least!

I'm looking for £50 or more. If someone turned up, rode it then offered £50 I'd probably take it just to have it sold and out of our way. 

 

I'm not sure these low ballers actually want the stuff, I bet they just thrive on the thrill of the (unsuccessful) haggle.

[inconsistant]

I've also got these bike wheels and tyres on Facebook Marketplace

 

Got this message:

 

 

 

[twosmoke300]

Id have those wheels but you are miles from me 🤣

[artdjones]

2 hours ago, twosmoke300 said:

Id have those wheels but you are miles from me 🤣

Maybe if he paid you 50 diesel money?

[Split_Pin]

On 9/14/2022 at 11:01 AM, JMotor said:

An X20XEV. So maybe kinda rarer now? 😂 

£30-£40 off eBay for an new one. Or you'd thought Euros could get one quickly?

Had one of those from my old Vectra for years. Binned it just in June there, nobody wanted it!

[Rust Collector]

3 hours ago, inconsistant said:

I've also got these bike wheels and tyres on Facebook Marketplace

 

Got this message:

 

 

 

'No problem, that'll be £5 for the tyre and £20 for my time spent removing it.'

[JMotor]

40 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

Had one of those from my old Vectra for years. Binned it just in June there, nobody wanted it!

Same here. Had a spare, think I threw it away yonks ago. Along with the intake pipe! Could of done with the pipe for the ReidChap I've got! Dang it! 

[barefoot]

Nothing to do with advertising, facebook or gumtree, but one of the blokes down at the garage recently offered to buy my monkey bike. But failed to name a price, 'what do you ant for it?' he asked, 'make me an offer' I replied. The bike was restored to 'lovely' & parked up in the back of my garage, so will clearly need a bit of recommissioning.  Was in again to day, 'what do you want for it?' he asked. 'Make me an offer the other side of a bag of sand' I said. He replied that he only wanted to pay half of that. "Well you won't be buying it then, will you? Although, I might bring it down here to be put back on the road & then you'll be able to watch as I sell it on ebay for £1500!"

[Cavcraft]

'Hi mate can I buy the log book please?'

I'm not selling a log book, just a whole vehicle.

[artdjones]

4 minutes ago, Cavcraft said:

'Hi mate can I buy the log book please?'

I'm not selling a log book, just a whole vehicle.

Excellent, he'll pay you some money to be an accessory to his crimes.

[inconsistant]

5 hours ago, twosmoke300 said:

Id have those wheels but you are miles from me 🤣

Happy to post at cost, I've got some corrugated cardboard sheet I can wrap them in for protection. Drop me a pm if interested.

 

[mitsisigma01]

What make are the rims?