The grumpy thread

6,150 · September 26

5 hours ago, High Jetter said:

So she went to the loo in the pub, then put her bra in a cupboard, before taking a shower? In the pub? Cupboard rejects bra into toilet?

Not quite. We're going out to pub.

She spots a seagull has shat on the caravan. OCD CONTAMINATE kicks in because she may have touched it from 8 foot away.

Path of least resistance is shower & change clothes, or OCD will have her checking clothes for imaginary shit all night, declaring car contaminated etc.

She then fucks up showering by "bra in toilet" which could be anything toilet / bra related. Chuff knows, first rule of OCD club is there are no rules.

She's then not leaving caravan without new bra. So 15 mile round trip to tesco for me to buy the perfect* item. Cos I'm an expert bra buyer when all the information I've got is a size.

16,783 · September 26

I'm disappointed that OCD doesn't extend to packing more than one set of grundies for a holiday.

6,150 · September 26

Well you don't pack until 5 minutes to go so you can keep checking the weather in case there's a sudden hurricane. Then you drop some clothes on floor so contaminated, panic and put wrong things in case. Wouldn't surprise to find she's got 6 bobble hats.

18,640 · September 26

so applied for a job

they email me to say have this give us a ring

only got email last night

so replied to it saying im away wont be back till next week

rang them today (signal is garbage here)

oh we wanted someone to start today

ffs - shame

5,698 · September 26

14 hours ago, jakebullet said:

style, control, aggression and damage.

Now THAT takes me back!

26,139 · September 26

It's a truly special type of person who thinks it's fine to stick chewing gum on someone's car while in a supermarket car park.

Thought it was just bird crap for a second, but no. It's a ball of chewed gum. Lovely.

19,187 · September 26

11 hours ago, jakebullet said:

Not quite. We're going out to pub.

She spots a seagull has shat on the caravan. OCD CONTAMINATE kicks in because she may have touched it from 8 foot away.

Path of least resistance is shower & change clothes, or OCD will have her checking clothes for imaginary shit all night, declaring car contaminated etc.

She then fucks up showering by "bra in toilet" which could be anything toilet / bra related. Chuff knows, first rule of OCD club is there are no rules.

She's then not leaving caravan without new bra. So 15 mile round trip to tesco for me to buy the perfect* item. Cos I'm an expert bra buyer when all the information I've got is a size.

I feel your pain. There is no logic.

3,205 · September 26

Yesterday rush hour, a cyclist rode along the pavement to avoid the stationary traffic making pedestrians move out of his way.

Later on when the traffic started moving freely, there he is on the road holding up the traffic alongside an empty pavement.

Can't have it all ways prick.

4,591 · September 26

Yes they can.

24,042 · September 26

My lovely wife gets a nice dinner ready for me after work most days. A hearty stew, banging chicken pie, nice mediterranean chicken salad, tuna melt, cottage pie etc.

Last night "Ayeup love, I'm hanging a load of posh shirts (that I never want to wear) up to dry on the radiator in the kitchen so just in case you decide to cook owt smelly, take them off first please"

"when do I cook anything smelly?"

"good point!"

On my way home from work today, I stopped at the end of the drive, 100+ yards away from our house to have a chat with the old lass that lives over the road.

"Someone, somewhere is cooking a curry and it smells lovely!" she says.

She was right.

17,693 · September 26

I am currently house sitting for a friend in Perth, about 70 miles from home. Arrived yesterday. Today I had a phone call to say my friend and neighbour of 35 years returned from dropping pigs off at the mart, went into his house to make tea and collapsed and died in his lobby to be found by his daughter yesterday evening. FFS.

RIP Dave.

11,451 · September 26

2 minutes ago, Saabnut said:

I am currently house sitting for a friend in Perth, about 70 miles from home. Arrived yesterday. Today I had a phone call to say my friend and neighbour of 35 years returned from dropping pigs off at the mart, went into his house to make tea and collapsed and died in his lobby to be found by his daughter yesterday evening. FFS.

RIP Dave.

Shit, that’s awful news.

September 27

Agree, awful news , and worse that his daughter had to be the one to find him

However, please try to take some comfort in the facts that he was obviously capable of living a good life right up to the last, and hopefully it was quick.🙏 Condolences @Saabnut

Edited September 27 by comfortablynumb
Additional

1,971 · September 27

Bad spelling makes me properly stressed, cheers Twinings......

September 27

This went up opposite us recently...

'Fish and Chip - Pie - Saveloy - Sausages - Burger's - Chicken'.

September 27

Couldn't get Iron Maiden tickets 😕

2,457 · September 27

Just been out to get my phone charger out of the car, and found that a guy spray painting a fence near it has blathered it in overspray.

Who the fuq spray paints a fence next to parked cars without masking everything off.

Good job I went out, as there was no way he was gonna own up to it of his own accord.

He's currently washing it, but if its still bad he's be footing the bill for a full cut and polish...

18,558 · September 27

2 hours ago, comfortablynumb said:

Couldn't get Iron Maiden tickets 😕

I saw them once, in 1984 on the Powerslave tour, at Southampton Gaumont. Great to see they are still touring.

14,319 · September 27

One of the smoke alarms in the vacant flat upstairs has been chirping for about a week. They've been doing viewings so the letting agent definitely knows about it.

It's driving me mad.

If I gave less of a shit about the law I'd be up with my lockpicks and taking the fucking thing down.

September 27

1 minute ago, Yoss said:

I saw them once, in 1984 on the Powerslave tour, at Southampton Gaumont. Great to see they are still touring.

Would have been the fourth time for me, they are brilliant live aren't they, just disappointed, I can't afford £300 a ticket, all the cheaper ones went in the blink of an eye

18,558 · September 27

36 minutes ago, comfortablynumb said:

Would have been the fourth time for me, they are brilliant live aren't they, just disappointed, I can't afford £300 a ticket, all the cheaper ones went in the blink of an eye

Indeed. Bruce is an all round top bloke for many reasons. I love the fact that he carried a Thomas Cook European rail timetable with him on their European Tours in the days when the the European rail network was more interesting than it is now. There's a bit in his autobiography where they had just played somewhere in the south of France and the next night they were playing Venice. Bored with the aftershow party he consulted his timetable and found there was a sleeper train leaving for Venice within the hour so he threw a bag together and left everyone to it. I'd love to be able to be that spontaneous and get some classic French and Italian locos in the book at the same time.

Earler this year we saw the tribute band High On Maiden at a local venue here in Southampton. I was sceptical but Mrs Yoss talked me in to it. They were excellent, far better than I was expecting. The singer looks nothing like Bruce but he hit all the notes somehow and the band were really tight. They did the whole of Powerslave including Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Made my night.

September 27

I really enjoyed Bruce's book. I love the way when one of the airlines went bust they threw as many people as they could get into Eddforce 1 and flew them home. What I wouldn't have given to be on that flight!

I can't believe he's around 10 years older than me, but twice as agile.

13,402 · September 27

1 hour ago, reb said:

One of the smoke alarms in the vacant flat upstairs has been chirping for about a week. They've been doing viewings so the letting agent definitely knows about it.

It's driving me mad.

If I gave less of a shit about the law I'd be up with my lockpicks and taking the fucking thing down.

Badger the agents about it, telling them if they don't fix it PDQ you'll be on to the freeholder. Or ask him/her if you can gain access to sort it yourself?

14,319 · September 27

7 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

Badger the agents about it, telling them if they don't fix it PDQ you'll be on to the freeholder. Or ask him/her if you can gain access to sort it yourself?

That would be the sensible course of action, yes.

Happily it seems the battery has completely died now, so it's gone quiet!

18,558 · September 27

44 minutes ago, comfortablynumb said:

I really enjoyed Bruce's book. I love the way when one of the airlines went bust they threw as many people as they could get into Eddforce 1 and flew them home. What I wouldn't have given to be on that flight!

I can't believe he's around 10 years older than me, but twice as agile.

He is exactly ten years older than me. We have the same birthday!

2,457 · September 27

46 minutes ago, reb said:

That would be the sensible course of action, yes.

Happily it seems the battery has completely died now, so it's gone quiet!

That's not a bonus if you live in a flat.

I deal with fire issues on a daily basis.

14,319 · September 27

2 hours ago, Volksy said:

That's not a bonus if you live in a flat.

I deal with fire issues on a daily basis.

There's at least three smoke alarms up there, only one of them was chirping. I'm sure it'll be fine.

13,402 · September 27

5 minutes ago, reb said:

There's at least three smoke alarms up there, only one of them was chirping. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Three? They must be worried. Just sayin...

15,769 · September 27

5 hours ago, reb said:

One of the smoke alarms in the vacant flat upstairs has been chirping for about a week. They've been doing viewings so the letting agent definitely knows about it.

It's driving me mad.

If I gave less of a shit about the law I'd be up with my lockpicks and taking the fucking thing down.

Mine only ever seem to do that at 3am. Last time I ripped the fucker off the ceiling, getting a shower of plaster and a jolt of 240v. I didn't know they were mains too. Improved my mood no end.

13,402 · September 27

2 minutes ago, Barry Cade said:

Mine only ever seem to do that at 3am. Last time I ripped the fucker off the ceiling, getting a shower of plaster and a jolt of 240v. I didn't know they were mains too. Improved my mood no end.

Yep, and the bastards aren't alone, if you have flats above or below.

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