Sir Snipes Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 You want M&S cheese tasters or Cheese Footballs ("a winner at home or away"). Bobthebeard, Ghosty, 11001010 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorfolkNWeigh Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I went to the doctors last week because my cock had turned orange." I think it's a lifestyle thing" says he. Can't be , all I do all day is sit watching porn and eating cheesey poofs.. mercrocker, mrbenn, stonedagain and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsuncog Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Not sure how I managed to crack a molar eating some toast and banana, but it seems that I have.Baffling.Time to put Denplan to use, finally... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hooli Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I believe one of the most common ways to crack a tooth is hydraulic action when you squeeze food into a hole in the tooth, the pressure builds & splits the tooth. I cracked one on something daft like a bacon sarnie once. Datsuncog and mrbenn 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Cheese sandwich for me once. also cheese sandwich that nearly killed me. I do like a cheese sandwich though. I'll take that risk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 You should share the danger, Ken. One Roule for her, one Roule for you. purplebargeken, DeeJay, chaseracer and 9 others 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 FFS. outlaw118, Coprolalia, Cavcraft and 4 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggersdog Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Ten to six this morning that little shit from next door starts.For the next hour all I can hear is this wailing.It's like the Clangers singing Minions tunes very fucking loudly from 5.50 am onwards.Luckily they are in a housing association house so I've made an anti-social behaviour complaint.I know the housing will come back with "that's not really anti-social behaviour" at ten to fucking six in the morning it is.Might need to get a diary and record the times and make an audio recording.It is beyond a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefag Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Are they lactose intolerant? chadders, meggersdog, DeeJay and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggersdog Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 haha yeah better edit that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 You should share the danger, Ken. One Roule for her, one Roule for you. That's a complete Croque, Monsieur. Supernaut, richardmorris, Springer and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Don't encourage him, for pity's sake. purplebargeken, chaseracer, richardmorris and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 That ship sailed long ago, my friend... Floatylight and purplebargeken 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fumbler Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Question is did it Titanic or Costa Concordia itself. I hope neither has happened. purplebargeken 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richardmorris Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 You should share the danger, Ken. One Roule for her, one Roule for you.Enough with the cracker jokes! purplebargeken 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegod Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I'm selling a pretty valuable gearbox on ebay and have been asked if I will take px , I've asked what for , any guesses ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fordperv Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 A pair of their neighbours underwear stolen from the washing line, with a Polaroid of the guy wanting to part x wearing them Probably an Iphone or xbox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 6 grey paving flags? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymous user Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Enough with the cracker jokes!And that one takes the biscuit. Remspoor 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymous user Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I'm selling a pretty valuable gearbox on ebay and have been asked if I will take px , I've asked what for , any guesses ?A six foot tall fibreglass giraffe. (If it is, I might be intetested) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DodgeRover Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 I'm selling a pretty valuable gearbox on ebay and have been asked if I will take px , I've asked what for , any guesses ?A freelander petrol with a water loss issue and the prop disconnected for economy? Laseraligningfoofooflanges 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiltox Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 A fucked gearbox? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Trains. First day back in the smoke today after 4 months of weekend engineering works and no service since 21 December for engineering works. This morning we are held in Romford/Ilford area because of some defective track!! I mean FFS! What have they been doing? There cannot be anything left to replace on that stretch of line. Nearly every weekend for the last 16 years that I have been using that line you are greeted with a bus on the weekends rather than a train. Ghosty and AMC Rebel 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somewhatfoolish Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Prompted by Christine's mention of Luther on the grin thread, why do TV dramas seem to occupy a parallel universe where there's a permanent power cut, or at least a brown out that causes all lights to emit the same lumination as a depressed glow worm? The stygian gloom is mystifying and very distracting. sheffcortinacentre, AMC Rebel and Ghosty 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 Bought a more powerful LED bulb for the spare room this afternoon - the Poundland bulbs are decent enough but at 40W equivalent they're not really man enough to light a medium-sized room properly. Went to remove the old bulb and the whole bastard light fitting pulled off the ceiling - both wires had snapped clean in two. Excellent - just what I wanted to do after a completely manic first day back at work, spend half an hour perched on a wobbly chair trying to get the bastard thing wired back up again. Got there in the end, but it now sits somewhat closer to the ceiling than it did before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelandeth Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 Further to my previous ravioli/Tesco rant, the recipe for their cheesey puff/balls/ snack appears to have been "improved" too, since last purchased. They now are not so cheesey and taste a bit stale. CHRISTMAS IS RUINED etcI had my moment of this in the middle of Christmas dinner. We don't generally drink alcohol, but had a variety of things on the table, including some of the more fancy stuff than usual. Red grape Scholer (or however it's spelled) is a favourite of mine...burned only usually get it at this time of the year as it's expensive. I took a sip and nearly spat it back out all over my dinner Of course they've done the same thing as everyone else and replaced the sugar with bloody sweeteners haven't they. So it tastes to me like someone has dumped a couple of tablespoons of vinegar in the bottle. Back to the classic coke or Pepsi then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3VOM Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 Trains. First day back in the smoke today after 4 months of weekend engineering works and no service since 21 December for engineering works. This morning we are held in Romford/Ilford area because of some defective track!! I mean FFS! What have they been doing? There cannot be anything left to replace on that stretch of line. Nearly every weekend for the last 16 years that I have been using that line you are greeted with a bus on the weekends rather than a train.You are Reginald Perrin AICMFP18 minutes late Miss Jones - badger stuck in the points at Wapping. SierraMikeHotel, MarvinsMom, EssDeeWon and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierraman Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 I'm selling a pretty valuable gearbox on ebay and have been asked if I will take px , I've asked what for , any guesses ?200yds of waney lap fencing, a broken petrol Stihl strimmer and an 8 year old laptop with more viruses than an East African prosititute? mrbenn, Rocket88 and purplebargeken 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New POD Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 I'm selling a pretty valuable gearbox on ebay and have been asked if I will take px , I've asked what for , any guesses ?A Manual omega ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New POD Posted January 3, 2019 Share Posted January 3, 2019 A six foot tall fibreglass giraffe. (If it is, I might be intetested)A stolen lamb-banana??? mrbenn, Cavcraft and Parky 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now