The grumpy thread

[LightBulbFun]

Zels Lada getting plated (is that a car term? well it is now    )

 

makes me wonder what other ridiculous clones have happened?, has for example has a criminal cloned a bus then got clocked doing something stupid, and the bus company getting sent a letter because their "trident ALX400" was clocked doing 125 down the low part of the black wall tunnel?

 

the comment of "unless dropped off a cliff" also reminds me of on Forza games there are speed traps, so 2 players would line up 2 cars 1 guy in some silly hyper car then another guy in something like a Bog standard Mini, and then the guy in the hyper car would smash into the mini at 250Mph causing the mini to fly across the camera being clocked doing 250Mph 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

....makes me wonder what other ridiculous clones have happened?, has for example has a criminal cloned a bus then got clocked doing something stupid, and the bus company getting sent a letter because their "trident ALX400" was clocked doing 125 down the low part of the black wall tunnel? ....

 

There was at least one instance of a farm tractor's plate being cloned .....

[LightBulbFun]

There was at least one instance of a farm tractor's plate being cloned .....

 

 

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

I had a mundano that was cloned, got a parking ticket with pictures too! Orginally bought the car as an engine doner and ran it for 3 months until the ticket went and then I broke it up. 

I offered to send them pictures of the stripped out shell but they (Islington council) declined. Cloned car had a sunroof anyway.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

STARBUCKS

 

We called into our local one with the three kids a few nights ago. Ordered two of their speciality (some sort of Halloween shite with cinnamon and lots of cream) lattes, three hot chocolates and three buns.

 

Total bill came to over £20. Once I'd got over that we had to take everything back to the counter because the two lattes didn't look anything like the pictures and everything was luke warm at best.

 

The guy operating the machine struggled to grasp there was an issue with the temperature of the coffee - "that's the way it's coming out of the machine" well then chum the machine might need looking at?

 

Eventually we got something that was drinkable.

 

We had to clear a table ourselves, the floor was sticky and the toilets weren't great either.

 

It seems all the staff effort was being spent servicing the drive-through. We weren't the only customers to complain either.

 

Wifey was most disappointed as she lived in Starbucks when she was a student.

 

So that's us done with Starbucks. There is a Nero across the road from work however which is obviously a chain yet manage to keep the place tidy, all the staff are friendly and the coffee looks and tastes as one would expect.

 

And closer to home I recently discovered a tiny independent coffee / cafe place which is independent, clean, makes nice coffee and has lovely staff.

 

They also charge just over a quid for a cup of tea which is a bit more like it - the likes of Starbucks charging the guts of £3 for a cup of tea always winds me up. It's a teabag in hot water that you have to do half the work yourself with (remove teabag and add milk etc)

 

 

Sent from my TA-1012 using Tapatalk

[Jazoli]

Three quid isn't unreasonable for a cup of tea, they have rent, business rates, tax, utility bills, staff wages and god knows what else to pay.

A friend of mine ruins a burger van at motorsport events and always gets people moaning about his prices, what people fail to grasp is that he has to pay £500 a weekend to be there so has to sell 200 cups of tea at £2.50 just to cover his pitch fees, he then has to sell 200 more to cover his fuel, travel, staff, insurance etc before he even begins to make any profit.

[tooSavvy]

Re: neckbrace claims...

 

I had a gentle 'clonk/rearended' a guy in a traffic lights queue = 1.5mph!

 

Did the full claims bit [my fault] and somewhiles later comes the 'Do Not Ignore This Letter' letter from the claims monkeys.

 

I forwarded the letter to my insurance co & a detailed description of the guys antics after the 'bump'.... He jumped out of his car, lay on the ground, stuck his head under the rear of his car, "meh, nothing but a bumper skin clip m8" swapping details and happily drove off.

 

My insurance company thanked me for 'clarity'.... Likely a large FRO to 'Mr Neckbrace = £££' methinks.

[DVee8]

I think I have found the perfect Xmas present !

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01N383Q8V/ref=sspa_dk_detail_4?psc=1

I bought one for Mrs V8 last Christmas,it is on most evenings.It give off a soft orange glow.

[nebuchenezer]

Roadmarkings in car parks

 

It is quite simple to follow the arrows, not go against them and cause an almighty traffic jam - yes I'm talking about you smug 2016 white Mokka driving cunt in Westwood Cross around 12:30 pm yesterday

[Parky]

Cloning stories are a frigging nightmare. My brother in law had all this and it only went away when he was able to claim that at the time of the alleged offence in Manchester, he was in London and would a letter from the Met Police Superintendent be adequate evidence of this for their files?

 

He bought a personalised plate the following day, no issues since

[Snipes]

Roadmarkings in car parks

 

It is quite simple to follow the arrows, not go against them and cause an almighty traffic jam - yes I'm talking about you smug 2016 white Mokka driving cunt in Westwood Cross around 12:30 pm yesterday

I see this all the time in "my old" Sainsbury's. Best one was massively cutting the corner straight into my path and wondering why they got an earful of angry horn. Had an old bloke drive straight down the middle, so I had to swerve to avoid him, and when suitably reprimanded, asked "what, aren't I allowed to drive then?"

"Into the path of oncoming cars? No, you're not!"

[barefoot]

How about when folk park on the paved area outside the door of the supermarket?

Like they couldn't find anywhere to park...

In the fucking car park.

[Kiltox]

That cloning story is frightening - someone nicked the front number plate off a car of mine once and was expecting this shit to start. Got lucky it seems.

[Captain Furious]

Three quid isn't unreasonable for a cup of tea, they have rent, business rates, tax, utility bills, staff wages and god knows what else to pay.

A friend of mine ruins a burger van at motorsport events and always gets people moaning about his prices, what people fail to grasp is that he has to pay £500 a weekend to be there so has to sell 200 cups of tea at £2.50 just to cover his pitch fees, he then has to sell 200 more to cover his fuel, travel, staff, insurance etc before he even begins to make any profit.

 

Isn't the price quite often set by the venue too?  To stop vans trying to undercut each other.  I know at RIAT the food and drink prices are published in the official program and will be identical whichever van you go to.  Pitch prices are also eye-watering, I don't know about the food vans (probably more because their earning potential is higher) but my mate asked a guy running this kids bungee thing what it cost, £15k!  Even at £5 a go that's a lot of rides to sell before you're in the black.

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

That cloning tale is a sodding nightmare! I'd have gone apoplectic with that mess...……… I've found they're no better with stolen/recovered updates either.

 

Old mans SRI was stolen ……. I put the word out with old friends and we got it back 3days later (guy who nicked it was later done for 4murders but that's another story) so all good. Couple of locks damaged and wiring a mess, soon sorted….. fast forward 6+mths and I decided I'd fly in - use the SRI as pops was rolling around in a new fleet car.

Early Friday morning - lit up and pulled over. thought nothing of it and talked quite happily - yes, it WAS stolen over 6mths ago, now of course not! We got it back after just 3days.

Not good enough - computer says no!

Aside* - my name is the same as that of my cousin - who is a known dealer, pimp and allround psycho! So when I gave my name I was rugby tackled and pinned down. Back-up called…

Back-up consisted of an old RAF colleague… Great thinks I, a known friend who can vouch I'm not the loony tunes cousin. He did, but arresting officer says NO!

Cuffed and read my rights (after I'd reminded arresting officer) - into back of car.

Pops was on a mobile job touring sites and didn't get reception in a lot of the buildings.... and didn't pick up the answerphone message until almost end of day. Thought it ws a wind up!

Eventually - plod friend checked on me at end of day, called my mum - who convinced dad I was actually, really, in the cells………

I got out just before I was carted off to Durham jail for the weekend for an appearance before court Monday morning for theft of a motor vehicle that wasn't stolen and belonged to my dad.

Still - it's something to tell the grandkids…..

 

Other life stories include dad being interviewed 3times as Yorkshire Ripper suspect - and he WAS a doppelganger for Sutcliffe I must say

plus - 24yr Gay lover of my great uncle revealing his existence at said uncles funeral! Uncles wife was a bit surprised!

 

I couldn't make this shit up...… I think it's the only reason I have friends - I keep them enthralled!

[Captain Furious]

I do sympathise to an extent, that they must get hundreds of people trying it on to duck legit tickets.  As you might expect pepipoo was my goto website for a while (although I never posted my specific case on there, I read about dozens of others) and you can spot the ones who are full of shit a mile off.  Usually their story starts to unravel right about the time the court summons drops through the door and shit gets real.  Those who fall foul of the failure to provide driver details charge are usually family members trying the old "we were sharing the driving that day so don't remember who was driving at this specific time" because of some internet fairytale that said this would definitely get them out of it.

 

So, y'know, they can't just drop every case because you say your car has been cloned, but at the point where they actually have the car in their friggin yard, I expect them to concede at this point!   I also reckon with the amount of traffic cameras tracking your every move it would be a fairly simple exercise to see whether two cars with the same plate existed.  Especially if they're in different areas of the country.

 

I'd like to think that if it had gone to court I could have presented a fairly solid case to prove it wasn't me, but I am mighty glad I didn't have to put it to the test.

 

On the Dad thing, mine was picked up for the Colin Pitchfork murders because he drove the same sort of car and we lived local to where they happened.  We were on holiday at the time of the 2nd Murder though.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

....dad being interviewed 3times as Yorkshire Ripper suspect - and he WAS a doppelganger for Sutcliffe I must say....

 

He looked like Lord Edmund Blackadder?

 

[Parky]

What’s that daily? You are thankful for the new timing belt and water pump? My pleasure, I am sure you will repay me with absolute reliability.

 

What’s that daily? You have decided that three of your doors will no longer unlock with the remote? Well thanks a million you ungrateful Spanish bastard

[tooSavvy]

^^ This.... ANPR on streetlights, every main junction.

 

A *helpful 'two line' code inserted "if <same reg> 200 miles apart <in> 1 hour = "Eh?"<query>

 

lol

[HillmanImp]

Other life stories include dad being interviewed 3times as Yorkshire Ripper suspect - and he WAS a doppelganger for Sutcliffe I must say

 

That Sarah Payne went missing from near my home. A few months after they's already caught that chap who'd done it I was at my mum's house and there was a knock at the door. 

 

There was a plain clothed policeman there and he said he wanted to ask me a few questions about the murder of Sarah Payne. 

 

He'd barely finished the sentence and I panicked and shouted back 

 

"I WAS AT WORK!!!!!!"

 

but they kindly explained that they had had reports of a child shouting in the area on the day of the murder and were just following that up. 

 

"Obviously there were kids shouting it's a residential area with lots of kids living there. If that's everything I need to go upstairs and change my trousers now as I've just fucking shit myself"

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

He looked like Lord Edmund Blackadder?

 

 

A late 70's early 80's version yes..... plus that twat who sent in the fake tape, lived a massive 2miles from us…. once the 'voice and language expert' said it was a Sunderland accent he was properly grilled! Luckily he too was exonerated as he was on ship trials 8miles off-shore when one of the attacks took place. Kind of ironic as he did want to join the police - the interviews and 'handling' properly put him off though!

[Captain Furious]

He'd barely finished the sentence and I panicked and shouted back 

 

"I WAS AT WORK!!!!!!"

 

 

Play it cool, don't tell him your name Pike

[alcyonecorporation]

hitler is a twerp

[Ghosty]

I see this all the time in "my old" Sainsbury's. Best one was massively cutting the corner straight into my path and wondering why they got an earful of angry horn. Had an old bloke drive straight down the middle, so I had to swerve to avoid him, and when suitably reprimanded, asked "what, aren't I allowed to drive then?"

"Into the path of oncoming cars? No, you're not!"

 

 

I've had a similar thing cycling before now, a woman in a 500X cutting across the road in front of me to park at an offy, then starting to indicate as a method of backpedalling when I questioned her motive in attempting to kill me. She seemed to think indicating justified actions instead of stating intention, and her only retort was 'where's your helmet'.

 

Not obliged to have one love, fuck off and learn to drive, your B&H will still be there in ten seconds.

 

Same goes for taxi drivers complaining I'm holding them up by not being in the cycle lane, then heckling me while carrying passengers.

 

Again, no obligation, and besides, the cycle lane was full of wet leaves. 

 

The red mist always comes down with GMT, I've noticed. Everyone's fine in summer.

[beko1987]

^^ This.... ANPR on streetlights, every main junction.

 

A *helpful 'two line' code inserted "if <same reg> 200 miles apart <in> 1 hour = "Eh?"<query>

 

lol

You see! Too savvy and hairnet CAN sort the country out!

[meshking]

 

I had the opposite at the weekend. A road near me is 50mph, narrow and with solid double lines down the middle. I was following a cyclist who was riding at around 20mph. There was oncoming traffic meaning I couldn't give him the room I should. I was angrily waved past... I wasnt tailgating him, because I could see I couldn't get past, and of course didn't want to harass him. I guess be felt I was?

[purplebargeken]

Fucking pick pocketed about an hour ago, a couple aged mid 30's, cunts. I can't recall what I had for dinner yesterday but I remember their fucking details. Cunts. 

 

Cards cancelled within 5 or 10 minutes, ha, that got you nowhere then you thieving cunts. Utter Cunts. Fill in online DVLA form re: licence, want 20 quid via card, well fucking duh, the fucking card was stolen. Can't do that until I get the replacement. Cunts. Will have to update all the card details on line. Fucking cunting cunty cunts. Reported via Met Police online. Urrghh. 

 

Cunts, cunts, cunts, cunts and fucking cunts. They had gone by the time I'd peeled away from the curb in the i10 (parked round the corner) which shifts quite a lot when prodded. Death by running over would have occurred or at least some retro Bodie & Doyle over bonnet sliding action.

 

Fucking cunting cunts.

[purplebargeken]

At least there was no money in the wallet. Cunts.

 

Oh well, I may well be in the running for the 2018 cunt count award, all possibly from the one posting. 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Fucking pick pocketed about an hour ago, a couple aged mid 30's, cunts. I can't recall what I had for dinner yesterday but I remember their fucking details. Cunts. 

 

Cards cancelled within 5 or 10 minutes, ha, that got you nowhere then you thieving cunts. Utter Cunts. Fill in online DVLA form re: licence, want 20 quid via card, well fucking duh, the fucking card was stolen. Can't do that until I get the replacement. Cunts. Will have to update all the card details on line. Fucking cunting cunty cunts. Reported via Met Police online. Urrghh. 

 

Cunts, cunts, cunts, cunts and fucking cunts. They had gone by the time I'd peeled away from the curb in the i10 (parked round the corner) which shifts quite a lot when prodded. Death by running over would have occurred or at least some retro Bodie & Doyle over bonnet sliding action.

 

Fucking cunting cunts.

 

Edmonton?

[GrumpiusMaximus]

FFS. Been sent a letter by our developer through the box this morning. They’re limiting access to our road, for roadworks.

 

Except that the notice period started at 7AM today. And we got the letter this afternoon.

 

And it was very poorly written. On nasty paper.