The grumpy thread

[Des]

Oh we're waaaay more dishonest, it's not so much a case of the parcel getting stolen but the recipient claiming it didn't arrive.

[3VOM]

 

"vendu en l'etat"

I've always translated that as "sold in a state"

My little grump for today. My oven doesn't work. So for I think the third time I take it out of the housing, disconnect, take cover panel off, look at it, waggle the odd connections of which there aren't many and put it back together. It now works again for the third time. I'd love to know what miracles occur when I take it slightly apart and then put it back together.

[Wack]

I'm being grumpy on behalf of somebody else

 

Guy buys a new build house for 300k and this is what he gets

 

https://m.facebook.com/groups/1737036286584198?view=permalink&id=2067159966905160

[Kiltox]

That’s awful. The fucktards commenting who don’t understand how house buying works also need to get in the sea.

[bub2006]

Thing is it's sold as a plot and if I'm right I think you lose out if you back out as you already signed contract before it was built

[cobblers]

Fucking hell, you could climb up the side of that bastard! Presumably it's just "decorative" brick since there's an expansion joint up the middle of a gable end so at least it'll all fall off the first time we get some high winds.

[myglaren]

Thing is it's sold as a plot and if I'm right I think you lose out if you back out as you already signed contract before it was built

Surely you can reject it on the grounds of poor quality?

 

Looks like I built it.

[Kiltox]

While I too would be pissed off, they did look at the fucking house right before taking the keys?

Buying a new build:

 

View show home

Reserve plot

Exchange contracts (legally 100% commit to buy) within 28 days

Wait for house to be built and signed off

Completion (they get the cash from the bank)

Get keys

[Kiltox]

Even the mortgage valuation survey wouldn’t have been an inspection of the property, it’s just a paperwork exercise (and still costs £200)

[AlabamaShrimp]

£300,000 and even before the crap brickwork its as ugly and faceless as you can get.

[Wack]

When I moved to Warrington in 1990 we bought a house that was just a concrete slab , the show house for that model was in Northampton so on the way home we went round it , liked it and put down a £250 holding deposit.

As the weeks went by we got letters advising of changes , block paved drive was now tarmac , tiled gable was now rendered, picture window removed , planters removed, burglar alarm, removed

 

So I went into the office to ask what was going on , they pointed to a clause in the contract , specification subject to change

 

I pointed to another one , buyer subject to change , it cost me the £250 deposit when I told them I didn't want it

 

After it was built I went to have a look and it looked nothing like the show house but we dodged a bullet, next door was an old people's home but we were assured there'd be a 6ft fence so it wouldn't be a problem

 

There was a 6ft fence but it was on their land which was 2ft lower than our garden so 4ft on our side, I was looking straight at 5 old ladies through a picture window, they waved when they saw me, that would been great

 

Plus it was st the end of a cul de sac then, now they've taken the woods out and put another 20 houses in

[SiC]

Surely you can reject it on the grounds of poor quality?

 

Looks like I built it.

No you can't. The different consumer right acts that you would expect to cover it specifically exclude houses and property. Despite it being the most expensive purchase almost everyone makes!

[DodgeRover]

Reading some of the comments, I don't know about the brickies wages but the carpenters are on better than London money with no snagging to do, just throw the wooden frame up and onto the next one ASAP.

[Noel Tidybeard]

Went to breakers yard to get Civic calipers. Me and the bloke I was on the phone to wandered over to the car that was meant to be donating it's bits.

 

Today both me and him learned that apparently not all mk7 Civics are born equal and, indeed, some have rear drums...

 

yes and 4 stud wheels

[davehedgehog31]

I went to get my hair cut on my lunch hour the other day, ended up in some wretched hipster barber shop.

 

These people seemed like the type of weapons who drive about in a pineappled VW and the sticker bombed hairdryer confirmed my suspicions.

 

The chap sat me in the chair and spoke some nonsense at me about Music, finally he asked me what I wanted doing, "short back and sides pal". Some further timewasting ensued and he fucked about changing an LP over.

 

"Do you want a cold craft beer dude?" No, no I don't, it's half 12 on a Monday afternoon and I'd like my hair cut you ridiculous cliched gimp. Of course I just politely declined.

 

About 20 minutes had passed between me entering the shop and a pair of clippers being produced. Brief periods of hair cutting were interspersed amongst a never-ending barrage of absolutely garbage patter. It seemed like an eternity and was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life.

 

I was late back to work and was relieved of 15 fucking quid for the privelage. Turkish barbers from now on.

[New POD]

I had a lovely time going to Cardiff on Monday and Tuesday for my daughter's graduation.

Came back today. Wednesday.

Family insisted pin going shopping this morning after breakfast. Instead of getting straight in the car.

so that meant we didn't leave until the afternoon.

Which meant the M6 was a fucking night mare. it took 6.5 hours to get home including as stop at the services for a break. 210 miles averaging about 35 mph.

[Pillock]

Right, what actually goes on at a Turkish barber?

Is it just a traditional barbers or do you have to ask for specific things to get what you want?

 

My regular place was inexplicably closed last week (two girls work there, always drama. It's like having your hair cut on the set of Hollyoaks. One time she'd invited her boyfriend round to her flat knowing he'd boshed her mate, soon as he was in the door she started hurling eggs at him and booted him in the nuts. I also love the fact they talk about this shit instead of asking about holidays/work/weather etc)

 

Also we've got to the point after about two years of 6-weekly cuts she can just about remember how I like it, and where the mole is on the back of my head so she can avoid it with the clippers.

 

Anyway, went around the corner to the one that the youth of today frequent. Bloke with sideways hair finally calls me forward after much confusion that loads of people are waiting for a specific barber. I sit. I then notice he has NO FUCKING IDEA what he's doing and he's asking his mate cutting on the next chair everything.... How do I do this, do I use scissors or clippers for that. I glance in the mirror and realise everyone is smirking at me, that's why the fuckers were waiting for someone else. Anyone else.

 

He then spends 40 minutes randomly cutting bits of hair. I've got long bits where I normally have short bits, the length on top is utterly random and he started shaving my back??!

 

Of course when he asked "how's that?" I told him it was perfect and thrust eight quid at him.

[iainrcz]

I hate having a haircut.

A I'm going bald, and currently try to hope it goes away with an artfully combed sideparting. So every time I go I sit there thinking fuck it, all off. Then chicken out and just have the back and sides trimmed. Because I imagine I'll look more of a cunt bald than with a bit of hair.

 

Whilst being asked about what I do for work and where we're going on holiday.

 

B I can't sit still for more than 1.378 seconds.

 

C it costs me money.

 

 

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[Pillock]

Once went to a barbers I'd never been to before, and had no intention of going back to.

 

As far as they're concerned I do security work for the Welsh royal family and this year I'm having a Jetskiing tour of Luxembourg for my holiday.

 

It's quite easy to keep a straight face when someone's got scissors near your ears.

 

Fuck your stupid chit-chat. I might have "do not attempt to converse with me" tattooed into the back of my head.

[binhoker668]

Should be in the grin thread really, but, FUCK 'EM, I WIN.

 

 

*This only applies to anyone who read my previous grump..

 

Marvellous what a few cans of larger and a petrol bomb can do if ye cannae afford exterminators.

 

Said the man from Belfast.

 

[chodweaver]

 

 

I hate having a haircut.

A I'm going bald, and currently try to hope it goes away with an artfully combed sideparting. So every time I go I sit there thinking fuck it, all off. Then chicken out and just have the back and sides trimmed. Because I imagine I'll look more of a cunt bald than with a bit of hair.

 

Whilst being asked about what I do for work and where we're going on holiday.

 

B I can't sit still for more than 1.378 seconds.

 

C it costs me money.

 

 

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

Some things in life don't change. They don't need to. They're brilliant as they are. Wahl clippers are one of these things. Once the proportion of your skull covered by hair is down to the same as land covering the earth's surface, there's little to lose (arf arf) - buy a set, pick a time when you don't have an important meeting or social engagement within the next three days, and start with the longest tines fitted.

 

Don't try anything but to cut all your hair the same length, as determined by the tines you chose. Not taken enough off? Change to the next size down and go over again.

 

Feeling somewhere between emboldened and nervous that you botched it and look a complete tit? Perfectly normal. Clean and put the Wahl beauties carefully away. Shower. Reward yourself with a beer.

 

Wonder why you didn't buy some clippers years ago.

[somewhatfoolish]

Buying a new build:

 

View show home

Reserve plot

Exchange contracts (legally 100% commit to buy) within 28 days

Wait for house to be built and signed off

Completion (they get the cash from the bank)

Get keys

Buying offplan is entirely dependent upon the developer not being run by shit weasels; if they choose to pull your pants down there's not much you can do about it.

[iainrcz]

I used to have some Wahl hair clippers. Stainless foot plate, adjustable lever for cut length.

My beard killed it. Just stopped one day while I was having trim.

 

I guess it didn't like 4" long wire wool!

Some things in life don't change. They don't need to. They're brilliant as they are. Wahl clippers are one of these things. Once the proportion of your skull covered by hair is down to the same as land covering the earth's surface, there's little to lose (arf arf) - buy a set, pick a time when you don't have an important meeting or social engagement within the next three days, and start with the longest tines fitted.

 

Don't try anything but to cut all your hair the same length, as determined by the tines you chose. Not taken enough off? Change to the next size down and go over again.

 

Feeling somewhere between emboldened and nervous that you botched it and look a complete tit? Perfectly normal. Clean and put the Wahl beauties carefully away. Shower. Reward yourself with a beer.

 

Wonder why you didn't buy some clippers years ago.

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[Jazoli]

Right, what actually goes on at a Turkish barber?

Is it just a traditional barbers or do you have to ask for specific things to get what you want?

 

My regular place was inexplicably closed last week (two girls work there, always drama. It's like having your hair cut on the set of Hollyoaks. One time she'd invited her boyfriend round to her flat knowing he'd boshed her mate, soon as he was in the door she started hurling eggs at him and booted him in the nuts. I also love the fact they talk about this shit instead of asking about holidays/work/weather etc)

 

Also we've got to the point after about two years of 6-weekly cuts she can just about remember how I like it, and where the mole is on the back of my head so she can avoid it with the clippers.

 

Anyway, went around the corner to the one that the youth of today frequent. Bloke with sideways hair finally calls me forward after much confusion that loads of people are waiting for a specific barber. I sit. I then notice he has NO FUCKING IDEA what he's doing and he's asking his mate cutting on the next chair everything.... How do I do this, do I use scissors or clippers for that. I glance in the mirror and realise everyone is smirking at me, that's why the fuckers were waiting for someone else. Anyone else.

 

He then spends 40 minutes randomly cutting bits of hair. I've got long bits where I normally have short bits, the length on top is utterly random and he started shaving my back??!

 

Of course when he asked "how's that?" I told him it was perfect and thrust eight quid at him.

Turkish barbers will give you a proper haircut, they'll also set fire to your ears and stick scissors up your nose, go in and tell them what you want and it will be done perfectly, once you go Turkish you'll never go back to a normal hairdressers/barbers.

[myglaren]

I hate having a haircut.

A I'm going bald, and currently try to hope it goes away with an artfully combed sideparting. So every time I go I sit there thinking fuck it, all off. Then chicken out and just have the back and sides trimmed. Because I imagine I'll look more of a cunt bald than with a bit of hair.

 

Whilst being asked about what I do for work and where we're going on holiday.

 

B I can't sit still for more than 1.378 seconds.

 

C it costs me money.

 

 

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

Best haircut I have had was an Italian barber in London, in and out in ten minutes, very little chit-chat and a perfect job.

£10 in 1971 though.

 

I have an hairdresser daughter who does mine twice a year now

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Once went to a barbers I'd never been to before, and had no intention of going back to.

 

As far as they're concerned I do security work for the Welsh royal family and this year I'm having a Jetskiing tour of Luxembourg for my holiday.

 

It's quite easy to keep a straight face when someone's got scissors near your ears.

 

Fuck your stupid chit-chat. I might have "do not attempt to converse with me" tattooed into the back of my head.

 

 

'How would you like it, sir?'

 

'In silence.'

 

My worst experience was going to the 'other' barbers in my home town because the one I usually had an hour wait.  I had a mole on my neckline (since removed) that I always told barbers about.  I told her, she acknowledged, then proceeded to RAM a pair of clippers at it.  No apologies.  The rest of the cut had more aggression than Mike Tyson on a night out in Dublin with Tyson Fury and Reggie Kray and a well-stocked coke dealer.  Never went back.

 

Now I've moved house, I haven't had time to get my hair cut in the last two months and I don't know where the good barbers are.  Give it another month and I might start resembling Robert Plant circa. 1974...

[MorrisItalSLX]

Hairdressers shit me to tears, so much waffle about holidays and work (neither of which I really have).

I have quite long hair that is very thick (so I'm told EVERY TIME I have a haircut) which means I have to answer thousands of questions on how I want it cut. What the fuck is layering? Do you want it thinned out? No? I thought most men try to avoid the thinning of their hair?

 

I miss the old fella, who has since passed on, who used to run a baber shop in town. "An inch of all round, thanks", 10 minutes later done. Perfect.

[Wack]

When I was about 12 the Turkish barber was the most popular with all the lads at school but that was mostly because at the bottom of the pile of magazines there was a stash of porn

 

On recommendation it changed to one in town because the girl that cut your hair had massive tits and they'd bump into your head when she leaned over , I'm sure she did it on purpose because there was always a queue of 13 year old kids waiting for her

[loserone]

That’s awful. The fucktards commenting who don’t understand how house buying works also need to get in the sea.

Which side is that?

 

I'm on the side of "don't pay untrustworthy people a fucktonne of money for something that doesn't exist yet"

 

/homeowner

[sierraman]

Craft Beer? I'd have got up and gone, even if I looked like Phil Oakey.