The grumpy thread

[GrumpiusMaximus]

  On 03/07/2018 at 20:45, BavarianRetro said:

A long way to the left, but have just bought your own new build three bed house, further "stratsifying" - whatever the fuck that is - the housing market.

 

Fuck off

 

 

And I've fully admitted to this.  Security and to save money, if you're actually interested.

 

No need for that at all.  Not sure why you've decided to resort to playground insults.

[chaseracer]

No need for that, BR...

[GrumpiusMaximus]

  On 03/07/2018 at 20:50, BavarianRetro said:

Don't give us all this "long way to the left" shite, then.

 

 

What's it to you?  Really?  Why do you even care?

 

Just because I happen to be a socialist doesn't mean that I can't own my own home.

[sierraman]

I'm not sure where you expect people who can't afford to buy a house to live. If its all the same we'll stop in a tower block then.

[BavarianRetro]

You're right. I don't.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

  On 03/07/2018 at 20:53, BavarianRetro said:

You're right. I don't.

 

 

You evidently do because you keep harping on about it.

[chaseracer]

Let's stop this here, shall we, gents?

[GrumpiusMaximus]

  On 03/07/2018 at 20:56, chaseracer said:

Let's stop this here, shall we, gents?

Fair enough. Dropping it now.

[Kiltox]

  On 03/07/2018 at 19:42, GrumpiusMaximus said:

Fucked off.

 

New build house in an area where there's a housing shortage, particularly for small houses because there isn't anything Council any more. We've bought ours.

 

Turns out the house next door (that sort-of-shares our drive, we have half, they have half it's between the houses) that have literally just bought are letting their one out.

 

For nearly twice the monthly mortgage payment. It's essentially identical to our's, bar one minor detail.

 

Gouging.fucking.bastards.

 

Plus I have no idea who our new neighbours will be. Why the fuck is this allowed?

Sorry but as a (previously called on here) cunt bag landlord, you should’ve researched that beforehand. The flat I’m buying in Gloucester wouldn’t rent because the rent would need to be 1.5x what is acceptable.

 

Your tenants will more than likely be respectable professionals as I have been for my past 6 years renting BTW - renting high end properties that are only available to good earners with good history of paying their bills (and in my case, improving the landlord’s property at my own expense)

 

EDIT - I didn’t read previous posts. There’s no hate here;

I’m trying to see positive in your situation as per my second paragraph.

 

PM me if you need help with difficulties because I’m well versed in both tenant and landlord.

[New POD]

  On 03/07/2018 at 20:56, chaseracer said:

Let's stop this here, shall we, gents?

 

Anyway, I'm staying in a Hotel in Bradford.  The place is empty because it's not really a hotel but the Bradford University Management Centre conference centre, and when I decided I needed to stay tonight, I went on Hotels.com and booked the nearest place that had carpet. It's empty. There's probably 50 rooms and 4 cars in the car park.  That means that 40 plus rooms are empty. What about the Homeless ? They could have a shower and a bed for the night. 

 

I'll get my coat

[cros]

I went into a camping shop today and there was a big display of hot tubs. I've never looked at such things before, but not only were they were hugely expensive but some had little tables to rest a plate on and glass holders for your booze. Am I to understand that people still have an appetite as they bob about in a bubbling vat of other folks bodily fluids? Different strokes and all that.

[somewhatfoolish]

This is why the water in hot tubs is filled with chemicals that remove your skin and turn hair a funny green colour, to avoid sharing exotic bacteria and other exciting flora and fauna. 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

  On 03/07/2018 at 20:30, GrumpiusMaximus said:

....Not all landlords are bastards...

...and not all tenants are harmless.

[yes oui si]

  On 03/07/2018 at 21:51, cros said:

Different strokes and all that.

Keep that until you get out the tub.

[omegod]

This morning at 7 AM I began preparation for a colonoscopy by way of Nuclear strength laxative potions, nothing has happened as yet, it feels like knowing I'm going to get mugged in the next hour but not being quite sure when or where. Next dose is due at 11     

[cros]

  On 03/07/2018 at 22:24, yes oui si said:

Keep that until you get out the tub.

Dont worry, I wouldn't be getting in. I've got it, the real reason for the growing popularity of hot tubs is that, like hippos, many humans can only copulate in water these days.

[cort16]

Glad you escaped the Volvo fire okay what a pisser. I’ll be scratching them of the list then

[fairkens]

  On 04/07/2018 at 07:10, omegod said:

This morning at 7 AM I began preparation for a colonoscopy by way of Nuclear strength laxative potions, nothing has happened as yet, it feels like knowing I'm going to get mugged in the next hour but not being quite sure when or where. Next dose is due at 11

Been there, I'd like to say this is the worst bit but....

 

Aloe vera bog roll and those weird washlet things are def your friends for the next 12 hours

[yes oui si]

  On 04/07/2018 at 07:10, omegod said:

This morning at 7 AM I began preparation for a colonoscopy by way of Nuclear strength laxative potions, nothing has happened as yet, it feels

 

like knowing I'm going to get mugged in the next hour but not being quite sure when or where. Next dose is due at 11

Picolax?

 

They could have sent a BBC Natural History crew up me after that and I would never have noticed.

[alcyonecorporation]

Managed to get banned from a hand car wash last night without even trying. 

There's a place near where I live that's open until 8; I turn up at 7.15 and everyone comes out of the break cabin with a face like a smacked arse. They looked like they were ready to go home. 

Look, I've worked in retail and I know how irritating it is when some ding wallah turns up at 9.59 to do a full shop when you close at 10. Thing is, I turned up 45 minutes before closing time. 

One of the blokes washing the car was in a fucking foul mood; he screamed at me because I hadn't moved the car quite fully forward. The doors on the Leonard lock automatically and he nearly tears the handle off trying to open the door asking me whether or not the inside needed doing. 

Right at the end, his colleague passes me some change through the nearside window and I move over to the end of the bay where cars sit two abreast to be leathered off. 

I'm putting the change in my wallet and I hear something behind the car along the lines of 'Fucking well move!'. He decided I hadn't quite moved forward enough despite the fact I'm level with the car next to me. There are no cars behind me. He slaps the tailgate so hard the whole car shakes. 

At that point I've had enough, and get out to ask him what the fuck his problem is. The place isn't busy, he's acted like a moody twat the entire time I've been there, and he hit the car so hard he nearly punched through the glass. There's a massive, ugly smear of a handprint on across the heating elements. 

"Right, was there any need for that?" I ask. 

He mumbles something and then strides up: visibly pissed off, he almost squares up to me. He's a lot taller and way more built than I am.  His colleagues begin to stare at us. 

"Go home, mate, your attitude stinks" I say. 

'You, get out, you're barred, stop threatening my staff, ' says someone who sticks their neck out of a Portakabin. I assume they were the manager. 

There's six of them and one of me, so I get back in the car and drive off. 

What the fuck was that all about? I get that people have shit days at work, but what exactly did I do to deserve this? 

[sierraman]

Report them to HMRC, a lot of these car wash outfits are money launders. Probably why they weren't bending over backwards to actually wash your car.

[alcyonecorporation]

  On 04/07/2018 at 08:29, sierraman said:

Report them to HMRC, a lot of these car wash outfits are money launders. Probably why they weren't bending over backwards to actually wash your car.

 

But they did wash my car. They couldn't have been less happy about it if they tried - but they did wash it. 

[dave21478]

Life is too short... time to find another carwash.

Or just lie low for a while then go back... unless you are a known regular, they will have forgotten in a couple of weeks.

[BorniteIdentity]

Entire kitchen due to arrive today. 30 or so units.  No text from company to say when it's coming as promised.  Wife phones up - "Sorry we don't have your number".  (Weird, I had a text immediately when I placed the order - it came through whilst I was still in the showroom)

 

Still, never mind.  "When's it coming?".

 

"Ah, well I'll have to speak to logistics" says her on the other end of the line.

 

(Double checks mobile number, double checks postcode)

 

"Well it's supposed to be delivered today, but it's not been put on the lorry"

 

"YTHO"

 

"Well it's not a guaranteed date"

 

"Weird - it says "Delivery Date" here"

 

"We make no guarantees"  We can deliver it on Saturday?"

 

"Yes - but can you though?"

 

"Yes, sir!"

 

"How do you know you can?"

 

"There's a space on Saturday that we can offer you"

 

"Did I not have a space today?"

 

"Yes, Sir"

 

"Ok - so why are we even?"

 

Blah blah Ts and Cs (Trust me - I write and copy check these for a living, theirs are an embarrassment and the best example of why "plain English" should be law I have ever seen)

 

 

So it's maybe coming Saturday.  Quite possibly.  Definitely a chance.

[BorniteIdentity]

  On 04/07/2018 at 08:23, alcyonecorporation said:

"Go home, mate, your attitude stinks" I say. 

 

What the fuck was that all about?  what exactly did I do to deserve this? 

 

I dare say those first three words were probably not the best move.

[alcyonecorporation]

  On 04/07/2018 at 08:50, dave21478 said:

Life is too short... time to find another carwash.

Or just lie low for a while then go back... unless you are a known regular, they will have forgotten in a couple of weeks.

 

I'm reminded of that bit in Die Hard for some reason. 

 

Might just walk back in with an old jumper with 'HA HA HA NOW I HAVE A KARCHER C U LATER LIVELIHOOD' crudely daubed on it. 

 

I'd probably get the shit kicked out of me, but it'd be funny for a femtosecond. 

[Kiltox]

Who’s the supplier, Bornite?

[alcyonecorporation]

If it's Mark II I will laugh my arse off - for a variety of reasons. 

[MorrisItalSLX]

The weather has pulled an England

 

 

I can see my breath FFS!

[alcyonecorporation]

  On 04/07/2018 at 08:55, BorniteIdentity said:

I dare say those first three words were probably not the best move.

 

10/10 for virtue signalling, would facepalm in front of again.