The grumpy thread

[alcyonecorporation]

I hear ye.

I had two asthma attacks this BH weekend, which made me late for a: Japfest and b: the Uffington scarecrow. 
Luckily, I have good medication. 

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Another for the decent wire and tap n go feed for the strimmer....... my place at the minute is a bit like a shooting range, long and narrow - so perimeter is a pain. Tap n go feeder and decent wire has made it a half hour or 40 minute job now...... something zen like when it's all flowing well though if I'm honest.

 

Fence wise I scored a few posts n panels as a neighbour moved out and their landlord demanded it all 'as it was'. Top end of garden now cordoned off and tidied up in prep for constructing minimes treehouse. That'll be a joy* in this heat!

[DodgeRover]

Another vote for a bump head, I have a 4 stroke honda which is fine but you 100% need a full harness adjusted correctly otherwise your back will be screaming enough after a few minutes, with the harness fitted correctly your arms should just be controlling not carrying the machine. We also have a 2 stroke Stihl, if you aren't used to starting Stihl machines most of the time it won't go, it will always go for me - there is a definite knack to them well the older petrol chainsaws disc cutters and brush cutters

[loserone]

Another vote for manning up and using a decent scythe.

 

Will cost as much as a decent strimmer though

[Captain Furious]

I took the Mk2 Granada to Stratford Upon Avon yesterday for the motorfest thing they had in the town centre.  God knows why, because it wasn't actually going to be in the show or anything, so what I actually achieved was sitting in 2 hours of the worst traffic I've ever encountered, on the hottest Mayday bankholiday on record, in a car from the 1980's with no air conditioning. 

 

Eventually we abandoned it about a mile outside of the centre and walked, the place was absolutely heaving but we had a fab day.  Stratford is a not too shabby place indeed.

[artdjones]

Stratford-upon-Avon is best approached from the South ,by boat.

[Jim Bell]

Another vote for manning up and using a decent scythe.

 

Will cost as much as a decent strimmer though

 

I love the idea of scythes. Ive strimmed my feet a couple of times, which has put me off getting put in charge of real tools.

[dave21478]

A scythe can work well, but proper maintenance is an artform of straightening, flattening and honing the edge. Often. A blunt or improperly edged one is a nightmare.

[somewhatfoolish]

I love the idea of scythes. Ive strimmed my feet a couple of times, which has put me off getting put in charge of real tools.

The modern equivalent would be those toe-amputating discs you can get for strimmers that look like giant ninja throwing stars; excellent* for severing aggressive undergrowth and lower limbs.

[wuvvum]

 

Wells was full yesterday - and by that I mean it was just off limits.  Fair enough, it's a nice place and a bit "fashionable" these days - so we hopped along to B******er but that was packed and the tides weren't on our side.  We also gave [REDACTED] a look before slumming it in Hunstanton.  Now, I've been going to Hunstanton ever since I passed my driving test 18 years ago - I have NEVER seen it that busy before.  We got lucky in a side street right on the front and parked up, slightly guiltily, for a couple of hours gratis.  All the cash machines we could find had been pillaged of every last tenner, and thus we had to wait until the journey home to get an ice cream at McDonalds. Hunstanton to Kings Lynn took well over an hour, but we're not even at my grump yet (the above is all par for the course really)

I made the mistake of trying to get to the A148 via the Wells road at about 5pm yesterday.  What a fucking stupid idea that was.  The westbound A148 was jammed solid so no fucker could get out, and us poor cunts who were trying to head east got stuck in the mix.  To be fair once I finally got out on the main road I had pretty much a clear run all the way home.

 

Oh, and the aircon doesn't work in the Jag.  It makes the right noises when you switch it on, but has no discernible cooling effect.

[alcyonecorporation]

A scythe can work well, but proper maintenance is an artform of straightening, flattening and honing the edge. Often. A blunt or improperly edged one is a nightmare.

 

 

 

 

Blunt scythes work well when discouraging scrotes from standing near your car [480ES, it was a long time ago. They were amused one headlight stuck up. I reckon I got there about a second before they stamped on it]. 

 

Not that I approached the 'yout' covered in red paint and holding a blunt scythe once or anything. 

 

TL:DR - final art piece for a friend. I was helping her paint her installation (no euphemisms, that what I was actually doing) and the scythe was getting a coat of paint in the art department cellar (again, not a double entendre).  

 

Then said scrotes started standing round maliciously so I went out to greet them. Very politely. Covered in red paint. In white disposable forensic overalls. With a rebreather over my head. Holding a blunt scythe. 

They moved. Quickly. 

 

Erm. 

 

The police were chill about it eventually, lololol comedy of errors and special 'wake the dead' stage two siren lol. 

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Never use a scythe with a rotten handle.  I very nearly learned this the hard way when clearing brambles a few years ago.  The strimmers weren't up to it.  Until the blade came flying off and towards my leg, the scythe was doing an excellent job.

[cort1977]

FFS lads be careful with strimmers (and scythes).  One of the joys of having a wife who's a physio is all the gory stories, it's quite common for strimmers to cut the tendon on the foot / shin which then means you can't lift your foot up to walk properly.  Very difficult to treat and obviously impacts your life significantly so boots and strong jeans at a minimum is highly recommended.

[Talbot]

those toe-amputating discs you can get for strimmers that look like giant ninja throwing stars;

A "brush cutter" head. Very effective, but very dangerous. I acidentally hit a 3" diameter tree-trunk with one once at full tilt. Stalled the strimmer engine, but chopped the tree down. It would probably go through someones leg just as easily.

[Louise2cv]

Chipping in here with cover up as much as possible! I have had terrible chemical burns strimming (unknowingly) one of the hemlocks/hogweed/cow parsley(?) which reacted with the sunlight and caused awful itchy blisters and scars that remain photosensitive.

 

Also, dog poo.

 

 

Cover up!

[madrat]

 

one of the hemlocks

 Heracleum mantegazzianum, commonly known as giant hogweed, cartwheel-flower, giant cow parsnip, hogsbane or giant cow parsley,

 

Nasty stuff.

[Louise2cv]

I don't think it was necessarily giant hogweed, but one of that family certainly.

[captain_70s]

Driving toward the Queensferry Crossing on Monday, people sat in the right hand lane going at either exactly the same speed or slightly slower than the cars in the left hand lane. You could see the left hand lane only contained the odd car and the right hand lane was utterly full for miles but was going no faster. Maddening.

[madrat]

I don't think it was necessarily giant hogweed, but one of that family certainly.

Hemlock or Queen Ann lace shouldn't cause skin problems. But a young hogweed plant looks very similar,

[chaseracer]

Gardening.  Just say NO, kids.

[Louise2cv]

Either way I wish I'd had more clothes on.

[madrat]

Either way I wish I'd had more clothes on.

I bet.

[chaseracer]

Either way I wish I'd had more clothes on.

 

That really needs the context of the previous page!  Lou, you may remember a certain 2CV camp photo that illustrates this...

 

, hides...>

 

[Stanky]

I've mumbled about this before, my parents had a smallholding in Suffolk and the best, and most satisfying tool to cut through weeds and grass and nettles and stuff was a weed whip. its basically a sharp blade on a long handle and you just swipe back and forth, cutting a swathe before you through the undergrowth. incredibly simple and easy to use and almost impossible to injure yourself with as you're swinging away from yourself at all times.

 

We did sometimes hire a proper strimmer with body harness and widowmaker brushcutter end on, but it was hard work, heavy and cumbersome, as well as incredibly easy to jam up with nettle stems, which meant you had to turn it off, take the whole setup off, lie it down, take off the HT lead, pull all the mangled nettle stems, stinging yourself in the process, then put the whole thing back on, tighten it up and then start it up again.

 

Probably wouldn't happen to a pro, but I was about 14 or 15 and very much an enthusiastic amateur.

 

it was just as effective with the weed whip, but quicker and less messy.

[dozeydustman]

Not had a grump for a few days. Just been back & forward between home & Bognor Regis ordering furniture for the new house, moving/packing boxes etc. The little stretch of the A29 where it meets the A259 at Shripney is a real bug-bear of mine. Coming from Aldingbourne/Eastergate you come to a roundabout with 2 approach lanes. 1st turning is A259 to Littlehampton, straight ahead is an industrial unit, 3rd exit (almost 3/4 way round) is A29/A259 to Chichester & Bognor. Everyone that goes to exit 3 is in the left hand approach lane and cuts up the right hand as if driving a 40ft artic.

 

Been so many accidents there since the new A259 Felpham Bypass opened because of exactily this, you'd have thought Sussex highways would put lane control or arrows on the road.

 

No.

 

No they haven't. Nearly got taken out by some twat in a Ford Ranger cutting across me from the nearside. Much swearing ensued.

[Pillock]

FFS lads be careful with strimmers (and scythes).  One of the joys of having a wife who's a physio is all the gory stories, it's quite common for strimmers to cut the tendon on the foot / shin which then means you can't lift your foot up to walk properly.  Very difficult to treat and obviously impacts your life significantly so boots and strong jeans at a minimum is highly recommended.

 

Next you'll be telling me some trainers and a pair of shorts isn't valid safety gear when "light-sabreing" into the undergrowth with a crappy chinese petrol chainsaw. Or even that strimmers are not to be used overarm for trimming back hedges.

 

H&S gorn mad, innit.

[clayts450]

My H&S in the garden r shit. Hedge trimming today. Up a wobbly stepladder. Barefoot. Waving the trimmer around over my head and perilously close to the cable.

 

Did have goggles on though as hedge mainly hawthorn. Do I win five pounds ?

[madrat]

My H&S in the garden r shit. Hedge trimming today. Up a wobbly stepladder. Barefoot. Waving the trimmer around over my head and perilously close to the cable.

 

Did have goggles on though as hedge mainly hawthorn. Do I win five pounds ?

Sounds a bit like me with a chainsaw, except its petrol.

[purplebargeken]

Hayfever can fuck off. Luckily controlled with generic stuff.

 

Now seem to have low BP caused by meds. Feel shite. Seeing GP tomorrow. 

[alcyonecorporation]

Either way I wish I'd had more clothes on.

 

*Rap music plays*