The grumpy thread

[flat4alfa]

Don't shitcan this thread,

 

I'm just a car driver so hearing the L/HGV side of things is interesting.

[Parky]

I have replaced one handbrake ratchet in my life. My sister managed to snap one by applying the handbrake too hard in a Renault 12.

 

As for sharing the roads with folk, I have two words which strike fear into me - Addison Lee.

 

As soon as I see one of their liveried people carriers in London, I know I can expect to find someone relying entirely on their satnav who will do whatever it tells them regardless of hazards. Turn right now? Ok, will do. Never mind that someone is on my outside. Next left? Sure, I will just swerve across three lines of traffic and dive up this farm track. Aha! I have reached my destination, I will just stop dead in the middle of the road.

 

Heathrow?? Erm, no, not sure mate. Have you got a postcode?

 

I am sure Addison Lee employ many many good drivers, I personally haven't seen one though.

[bub2006]

One of the issues with this, from a truck driver's perspective, is moving out to help someone onto the left lane, only for them to sit there, too close to the stern for a safe pulling back in. They won't flash to say it's safe, they won't pull out to the second lane to demonstrate safety, and so the truck's stuck. And so's everybody else. All getting pissed off doing 56mph until the situation's resolved.

As a consequence, I know plenty of drivers who just won't pull across: the consequences are too big a pain in the arse.

If I'd a quid for every time that's happened on the A92 through Fife (a road I use a hell of a lot), I'd be minted.

Thanks for the clarification, makes sense now. When they have let me out i do get out the way sharpish and safely. But yes i see it now.

[vulgalour]

"Nah it's double yellahs, I'm allowed to drop off here, I'm not parked"

 

How about fuck off.  Especially since you ARE parked and it's just you and your dizzy mate sat on the corner blocking the entrance and you're not dropping off anything you just can't be arsed to park in one of the many, MANY empty spaces in this fucking car park.

[bramz7]

Coming round a bend on a motorway slip road this morning (A4 onto the M4 Theale) and I'm greeted with two cars, hazards lit up blocking the inside lane. This is a blind curve leading onto the M4 and there was no warning triangle or anything to warn other road users of an impending accident waiting to happen.

Better still, one of the occupants was stood next to the road on the right hand side of their car. So if you don't hit their car, you get a chance to clip them.

 

First time I've ever locked my brakes. Only slightly but still.

[flat4alfa]

I am sure Addison Lee employ many many good drivers, I personally haven't seen one though.

 

Me either!  I've seen some shockers, all were barrelling along in a Galaxy and being shits on the road

[alcyonecorporation]

"Nah it's double yellahs, I'm allowed to drop off here, I'm not parked"

 

How about fuck off.  Especially since you ARE parked and it's just you and your dizzy mate sat on the corner blocking the entrance and you're not dropping off anything you just can't be arsed to park in one of the many, MANY empty spaces in this fucking car park.

 

This until the end of time. Gawdelpus (gawdelpus). 

[clayts450]

Finally get the urge to shift some detritus from my house tip-wards, so take a load of old electronic junk down stairs (four journeys) plonk it in the hallway, go out to Shite of Street - fob says no.

 

Change battery in fob. Fob says no.

 

Realise battery is dead - hope upon hope the tailgate is open (sometimes doesn't lock properly). Not only is it unlocked, it's not closed - weak feeble boot light stares back at me (not driven since Sunday). Fucksticks.

 

Clambering around in the vehicle, bonnet opened, battery now charging.

 

Pile of electronic shit remains in hallway, getting in the way.

 

Probably CBA tomorrow as the urge will have gone.

[sierraman]

I've heard Addison Lee insist on previous Grand Prix experience.

[Bobthebeard]

Nipped in to our local Booths supermarket last night. Strangely the car park was almost full, at 7pm. Bit unusual thought I.

Turned out that there was a full on Christmas food tasting event going on in the cafe section, with Santa Baby and Jingle Bells songs blaring out. On October 2nd.... Trestle tables laden with mince pies at two packs for £5 etc.

I left grumpily without the milk and stuff and went to the local Spar shop instead.

[atlantean]

I'm a 'buttoneer' aka hold it down/lift.

 

No particular phobia... Just prefer quiet arrest - not 'Graghh!'.

 

 

TS

I wasn't told this by my driving instructor, but when I first started getting a shot a bus driving in various ancient things I was bollocked for not holding the ratchet in when applying the hand brake.

I was recently told that the correct procedure for engine braking is to down change and then leave the foot resting on the pedal to illuminate the lights, which seems sensible.

[3VOM]

Has anyone ever had to replace a handbrake ratchet?

Repaired one on a Golf.

Merc 190s used to self-release on occasions leading to a recall IIRC.

[gordonbennet]

I wasn't told this by my driving instructor, but when I first started getting a shot a bus driving in various ancient things I was bollocked for not holding the ratchet in when applying the hand brake.

I was recently told that the correct procedure for engine braking is to down change and then leave the foot resting on the pedal to illuminate the lights, which seems sensible.

 

I disagree with that, IMO brake lights should only come on when there is sufficient retardation, under engine (even auxilliary such as exhaust brake) braking the rate of slowing is so slow that brake lights are not needed, my MAN lorry doesn't apply the brake lights under exhaust braking which i think is right, our Scanias put the brake lights on as soon as you press the exhaust brake button, this despite the rate of deceleration being almost non existant.

 

If not we end up where we are now with the 500 million hivis jackets now being worn by people miles from a road or traffic or other danger, and other variations of crying wolf, then when some bugger in front jumps on the anchors in an EBS equipped Merc or Beemer triggering a 1g stop no bugger realises cos 200 million watts of brake lights are blinding those behind when vehicles are barely coasting.

[dome]

Cars on sliproad just pulling in front causing me to slam on rather than using slip road to gain speed or pull in behind (when next lane is in use and i have nowhere to go) is as much of a pain as coming diwn5 the sliproad onto a bypass,3 or 4 wagons in inside lane and not one will pull out to next lane to allow cars onto carriageway when its perfectly safe to do so. Also cars on sliproads crawling down to carriage way,i pull into outside lane keeping a steady pace they then decide to speedmatch me and keep me pinned out before flying off.

 

This does my tits in. The new Queensferry crossing is a prime example of this. Big long sliproad heading northbound onto it yet everyone insists on joining right at the start of it causing traffic to slow right down.. They've had to put signs up telling folk to use the whole slip road. Which of course most people ignore.

[CreepingJesus]

This does my tits in. The new Queensferry crossing is a prime example of this. Big long sliproad heading northbound onto it yet everyone insists on joining right at the start of it causing traffic to slow right down.. They've had to put signs up telling folk to use the whole slip road. Which of course most people ignore.

And they haven't yet fitted the S Queensferry on ramp with a Robot Wars style flipper for wankbiscuits who go up one slip road and over, to get a wee bit ahead.

At least it hasn't got the Vanishing Third Lane like the old one, where you came down to the toll plaza. That fucker was a source of actual road rage fist fights and mirrors being kicked off.

[flat4alfa]

Nipped in to our local Booths supermarket

 

Booths?!  Decadence.

 

I get my coal from Safeway.

[Doctormop]

Dirk Diggler, on 02 Oct 2017 - 11:24 PM, said:

Special order 6 digit odo?!

Fair point, my memory must be playing tricks, could  have been something scrawled on the service history that leapt out at me;

As you were.

[Dirk Diggler]

Fair point, my memory must be playing tricks, could  have been something scrawled on the service history that leapt out at me;

As you were.

Pedant, sorry

[dollywobbler]

Can I just say that I consider it EXTREMELY rude to undertake a vehicle that has moved over to let you join a motorway. Even if I'm in a rush, I will join, allow said kind vehicle to overtake, give it a flash then overtake in the normal manner. I am moving more towards "sod it, it's a give way, so you can give way" mindset, but people now EXPECT you to move over, so on occasions when I've held my place, I've ended up almost being sideswiped. Came very close to that on the M54 fairly recently actually, because the joining person did not check their blind spot.

 

Speaking of which, normal car mirrors are shite. I love the Honda's mirrors, as they do a pretty fine job of removing blind spots. Almost caused an accident myself on the M3 the other week, because I was in the Bluebird and only checked my blindspot at the last minute. I'm bloody glad I did...

[Cavcraft]

I think the 'lady' who barreled down the M53 yesterday morning, until she was pretty much right on top of the turn off she wanted was slightly* disappointed when some miserable twat in a pick-up didn't let her in. I'm sure an impromptu visit to the next junction cheered her up no end.

[mercrocker]

Never mind, she probably had a good whine to whoever she was on the phone to....

[purplebargeken]

More stupid fucking cunty cunts who cannot fathom that the new road layout is actually a fucking pair of roundabouts. 

 

Oh, for the record, DO NOT glare at me for using the fucking roundabout properly you fucking twats. Wake the cunting fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Fuck, that really is getting to me now.

[Lord Sterling]

Having to drive a f*cking Sprinter which was restricted to 60mph 170 miles down south, plus getting up at stupid o'clock to start my journey. Still didn't get there until near 10am either

[Pillock]

There's a car outside my house. Went upstairs to get changed after work and I can hear the sounds of a little mini compressor. Decided to pop out and see if they were OK.

Older couple with a proper sulky looking teenager in the car. OSF tyre on their first gen Ka totally flat and there's a big pool of tyre sealant on the floor. Turns out they've had a blowout coming up the road, someone they know has stopped and used the tin of sealant out of his work van and is trying to pump it up - but it's been going a while and it's still pancaked.

 

Put my hand around the back of the tyre to see if I can feel where it's coming out and the entire fucking tyre is like a pincushion. Wires sticking out the whole circumference. No wonder there's no air in it, there's no rubber to hold it in. Checked the other one and sure as shit, they've got a matching pair. God knows how the NSF is holding air, must be through good will alone.

 

So, they live 7-8 miles away. Up until that point I was up for running them home so they could leave the car outside my house and organise recovery/new tyres in the morning. Don't feel so inclined any more if I'm honest - they were on about getting a taxi, I thought I could save them some cash but am I wrong to think that perhaps it's a lesson learned? This isn't an unfortunate puncture, this is an extended period of neglect.

They also asked their mate who stopped to help - he's got a work van with three seats across and outright told them "no".

 

Plus I've got fish fingers in the oven.

[robinmasters]

Someone tried to undertake me yesterday, a while after the lanes had started to merge, and 50 yards before some red traffic lights. Then got out and kicked my car.

[CreepingJesus]

I've got fish fingers in the oven.

I'm pretty certain it's in the Geneva Convention that you're allowed a by for fish fingers. Or the bible maybe: was that why the Hittite bloke crossed the road and left the Good Samaritan to it? He'd fish fingers in the oven, and he'd only nipped out for rolls?

[fordperv]

DX couriers bunch of tossers, their lovely driver decided that my parcel wasnt going to be delivered, the cuntfuttock decided to lie and say attempted to deliver and card pushed through even though there was no attempt and no card, mrs fp stayed in all day for it, when we called the company they even lied through their back teeth, first person saying he did try you have a white door erm no my door is brown, then we got told customer support will be in touch within an hour, guess what no call and after us ringing back the 2nd blatantly lying saying he tried to deliver then back tracked saying he couldnt deliver as his hand held device was broken, when we asked them which one it was then because obviously lies are being told the line went quiet, fuck tards

[Cavcraft]

 

Plus I've got fish fingers in the oven.

 

If that's a metaphor, I hope you got a hand shandy for afters.

[gordonbennet]

DPD is the dogs bollocks on parcels, they've got a system you get an email/text the morning of delivery with a one hour window and its usually spot on, the lads are good as gold too.

[Pillock]

If that's a metaphor, I hope you got a hand shandy for afters.

Choc ice.