The grumpy thread

[DodgeRover]

If they are flat roofs and you are on a budget the GRP (fibreglass) kits are good value and very simple to do.

[HillmanImp]

If they are flat roofs and you are on a budget the GRP (fibreglass) kits are good value and very simple to do.

 

No, its a pitched roof. I looked into putting a proper roof on and it was thousands. Not just a few grand either. If it was £3k, hell, for the return of having a room that was usable in the summer it would be worth it but they want silly money. It's probably not much more to knock it down and build a proper extension.

 

My plan is to insulate and plasterboard it on the inside and whack some vinyl fake slate on the outside (for aesthetics only). 

 

I don't have any photos of the conservatory but if you want a gander, I understand the previous owners who inherited the house from their parents used to film gay porn in it, so if you have a look at some man-on-man bongo movies you might be able to spot it.

 

Whilst I have not seen them, I believe the films they used to film were 'UK Street Scallies' as I found a video recorder cassette stuffed down the back of one of the radiators in the living room with that written on.....I threw it in the bin at the time as a) didn't want to see it, b ) have nothing to play it on c) really, really didn't want to see it.

 

This is why its referred to as the 'Pornservatory' amongst friends. Its now my sons playroom.

 

We have thoroughly cleaned and decorated it.

[cort16]

I've probably mentioned this before but in my old house my garden was a shit tip. it had no grass and just a load of big chucky stones mixed in with piles of concrete. I'd tried clearing it up but the cement chucky mix was hard work.

I had an Audi coupe sitting outside I'd bought but wasn't really using it. Next door was getting their garden done and the guy doing it knocked the door and asking if I was selling the Audi. I said how about sorting my garden and 400 quid (or there abouts).

Deal, they rolled in with their mini digger, cleared it out, turfed it and re-layed the patio and gave me 400 quid, Best deal every, Mrs C's face was a picture when she came home. Not only was the garden done the Audi was gone.

[DVee8]

Last summer the fence between our back garden and out next door neighbour's garden collapsed.2 panels and posts rotten.

 

Talking to nextdoor we agreed on a whole new fence,around 12 meters long.Due to work,holidays and life,it had to wait till the start of October.

 

The old fence was ripped out the ground prepped with other work the bill was around £1000,When this was said to nextdoor,we got "I have no money,I not paying you want the fence you pay for it". So we did.

 

The fence posts were put on her side as she wasn't paying she could have the posts.Mrs V8 stained the fence brown.

Fast forward to today,I look out of the bathroom window,nextdoor has been painting her side of the fence,bright blue,this has ran between the planks and down our side,streaking down the brown stain.

MrsV8 is livid,but what to do next,we could speak to next door but she is a arty farty modern hippy type that is thick as fuck.

 

So i supose we will just repaint our side again.

[Bren]

Set fire to fence.

[adw1977]

You paid for the fence, it's your property (regardless of whose land it stands on) so painting it without your permission is criminal damage.

[adw1977]

Setting fire to the fence, although amusing, would be arson, so best not! You could simply take it down if you wanted.

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Just read that a Swiss company will be seeking out people who run Kodi and stream on their Amazon fire sticks. Are they really going to be able to police it?

[DodgeRover]

At least it's getting painted so should last a while. Paint your side again though.

[Pillock]

Just read that a Swiss company will be seeking out people who run Kodi and stream on their Amazon fire sticks. Are they really going to be able to police it?

 

I wouldn't have thought you can go after people just for using Kodi, as it's a perfectly legit piece of software.

It can however be used to do illegal stuff - the same as torrent apps, the same as a web browser if you want to be pedantic.

 

However if you connect to dodgy sites and stream dodgy stuff, then yes they can grab your IP address which will identify your ISP. They then write to your ISP and ask who was using that address on whatever day. And then you get a letter asking for money.

 

They tend to make most of their money from people settling before it goes to court, especially if they caught you downloading Big Tit Grannies Vol 7. It's lucrative, to the point that two american lawyers went as far as filming their own porn, seeding it to torrent sites, working out who had downloaded it, and then writing to them. Saved that tedious "waiting for a client to instruct you" mess.

[DodgeRover]

Lawyer porn? There are some sick sad people out there

[BavarianRetro]

Setting fire to the fence, although amusing, would be arson, so best not! You could simply take it down if you wanted.

 

If it is his property, can he not set fire to it - provided nobody's property or rights are materially prejudiced?

[Honey Badger]

I've been saving up an Imp fund for the last year to finally get it back on the road. It's spent many many years locked up in a garage doing nothing after 2 years of working on it most evenings and weekends to get it into a really good condition ready for rebuilding (thread here http://autoshite.com/topic/9817-hillman-imp-deg-532c/ )

 

Problem is, I have this fucking garden.

 

GardenNow.jpg

 

It looks like a large proportion of my Imp money is going to have to go towards this as its fooked innit. Plan was to level it out as it dropped by 3ft over the last 18ft towards the back but the cost for fucking soil is going to be a grand before we even start with turf FFS. Soil, you know dirt.

 

I thought a load of filler would cost fook all as surely people would be wanting shot of it but how do you collect it? You can't can you. The same people who charge you a fortune to take your shit away are making the same again giving your shit to someone else. Arses. I have worked out I need about 15 tonnes of the effing stuff.

 

I spent years doing nothing on my Imp as I had no money to sort it after putting all my money into a deposit for a house, I finally get my financial shizzle toge.......hang on this says it better.

 

Life.jpg

 

Bumhats.

 

Last time I did a load of landscaping I brought topsoil from a local turf growing company, dumped straight off a 7 tonner onto the drive at about a quarter of the price of the graded stuff from the builders merchants, it wasn't top quality stuff but it's been good enough to grow grass.

 

The other option is to build a deck over the low portion using longer posts over the low areas to keep it flat and level.

[cobblers]

Decking is a good idea, it's pretty cheap and quick but you'll probably be redoing it in ten years.

[Dave_Q]

Have a look on your local Freecycle / Freegle group, there always seems to be people on the Huddersfield one giving away topsoil, I guess they're skinflints doing a self-build trying to avoid paying to have it taken away. 

[tooSavvy]

I attended a dole 'job jolly/encounter group' last Tuesday.

 

7 folks slated in but only I turned up - I joshh not!

 

 

Laydee skimmed my CV - hey! one to one support going on - and very first observation.. ??

 

"I have never seen a CV where the author states 'non smoker' "

 

I said why would an employer want someone who only works 50min per hr?

 

 

TS

[DodgeRover]

I possibly have whooping cough, got to have a blood test to confirm.

I guess I have all the people who haven't had their kids vaccinated against it to thank....

It's making a comeback and it's nasty, I certainly wouldn't want my child having it

[cobblers]

Nan rings me the other day "Cars leaking something"

Told her not to drive it and I'd have a look when I can get over, she said no problem as she didn't need to use it for a few weeks.

 

Got another call from her a few days later "IT was making a funny noise when I went to Asda so I took it to the garage and they say it's knackered"

 

I rang the (trustworthy) garage - Verdict - Water pump totally fucked, not a drop of water in it, pinking it's knackers off when she got there making a right row, completely cooked.

Needs at least a HG, cambelt and waterpump.

 

So that's that scrap then FFS. TBH it's about time she hung up her driving gloves so it's not come at a bad time really.

[Rod/b]

Trying to lose weight and get fit. Doing pretty well but recently fucked up my knees and heels running. Told to cut it right back just as I was getting into it. Fucksticks

[tooSavvy]

KeepFit.. NotF#cked!

 

Yes... Heavy impact is a big no-no.

 

Pro advice on resistance machines/swimming.

 

*so I hear...

 

 

TS

[RayMK]

Trying to lose weight and get fit. Doing pretty well but recently fucked up my knees and heels running. Told to cut it right back just as I was getting into it. Fucksticks

 

Try cycling, even tricycling if balancing isn't your thing.  I have been unable to cycle since the early 1990s, thanks to arthritic hips, but find that waving weights around keeps my top half in reasonable trim.  

[Rod/b]

Cycling and swimming are all part of the plan, as is waving weights about, but running was getting the spare tyre off more quickly. Just have to go full-on salad muncher do millions of crunches and no-weight squats.

[Sheefag]

2017 TO PRESENT:

 

PROFESSIONAL ARSEHOLE

 

You're on the game now?

[dave21478]

^^^I tried all that stuff but decided it was loads easier to just be fat.

 

Todays grump is non-stop spam from Orange who seem to be launching online banking, and as a valued* customer, would I want the honour of being among their first financial customers?

These shitcunts cant get my phone bill right without fucking it up every other month, why would I trust them to manage my money overdraft?

[alcyonecorporation]

You're on the game now?

If that were the case I'd be bankrupt rather than simply destitute.

[Guest Hooli]

Cycling and swimming are all part of the plan, as is waving weights about, but running was getting the spare tyre off more quickly. Just have to go full-on salad muncher do millions of crunches and no-weight squats.

 

Rowing machine instead of running.

 

It's a full body workout & low impact.

[beko1987]

Called Aviva again, and after another 38 minute phonecall (used my work phone so meh) the fit sounding young lady tapped some buttons, put me on hold for 20 minutes whilst she had a fag, piss and popped in to speak to someone and it's 'all sorted now, the NCD flag has been removed'.

 

I won't get excited about that yet, but hopefully the Xantia finally goes to it's new home on Sunday, so I can uninsure that once the new owner's home, then they can do one as I'll change my tack to 'well I only have one car insured...'

 

Flipping hell, anyone would think a multicar policy would be geared up for insuring multiple cars... OK it was my fault for putting my NCD down twice but I've never had 2 cars of my own to insure before, and the box did not explain how it worked, just 'enter your NCD here', so I did!

 

I also bought some cheap spy glasses with OMG 1080p which turned up today and are utter utter bollocks. I wasn't expecting miracles for £35 but these are beyond shit, if another SD card/using it's internal memory and a good charge does not fix it then complaints and ebay disputes will be raised.

[Sheefag]

Nyphur, great article, thanks for sharing.

[EssDeeWon]

Fuck sake these old Fivers!!

 

Me being me and in my own world I got palmed off with an old one this evening after buying some milk, didn't realise at first, then went to buy Fish and Chips down the road, all wrapped up and went to pay £5.40 then the girls says  'sorry we can't accept those old fivers' 

 

Safe to say the fish and chips stayed wrapped up on the counter while I walked out,  its fuckin daft, all banks will accept them until whenever so why wouldn't a business take them? They don't suddenly become worth nothing after tomorrow.  Anyway that was my local chippy, guess where I won't be going to again.

 

And the chatty sri lankan petrol station owner knew what he was doing with all the chit chat whilst palming me off with this old fiver, wanker.

[Hendry]

How expensive VW parts are, even 2nd hand, and in particular Golf GTi specific parts.

 

Also why a lot of stuff seems to go wrong and need fixing on a car all at the same time, nothing for ages and then boom all at once, over £1000 ill have spent in the space of 3 weeks on mine! and thats just on a full service, 1 new rear caliper, rear discs and pads, a new undertray and rear lower arms.